Life Altering
by kwillads
Summary: 4th in series dealing with Sheppard's accident. Following: Three for the Price of Two, Conquering Adversities and Unexpected Surprises. Rated 'T' for some minor bad language.
1. Chapter 1

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** I am NOT in the medical, military or science professions so what you read is just 'winging it'. Hope it all sounds plausible. Also in my stories there will always be Dr. Weir and Dr. Beckett.

This is the fourth story I've written dealing with Colonel Sheppard's disability. Preceding order: Three for the Price of Two, Conquering Adversities, Unexpected Surprises.

The story was beta read and any remaining errors are my own. Enjoy.

Life Altering

By Kwillads

Chapter 1

Colonel John Sheppard sat in Lt. Colonel Lorne's office with his head down in his hands shaking back and forth in bewilderment. Staring at him were balls of colored nylon, actually several colored balls of nylon, some were solid in color while others were variegated with two or more colors all haphazardly displayed on the conference room sized table his Second in Command had appropriated for his office from somewhere in Atlantis.

Just before this meeting John had enjoyed a leisurely lunch today more than any other day this week. He had sat with Lorne's team in the mess hall; it was the first time in days that they were all on Atlantis at the same time. Teyla and Ronon had been to the mainland helping with harvest and new planting, while Lorne and Rodney had taken a couple other scientists to M2V-337 to research an Ancient lab found by Captain Wallace's team. While he sat listening to them it reminded him of being home and having Sunday dinner with his family. His mother, before she passed, had always made Sunday dinner special; she called it their 'family time'. It was a time to catch up over the past weeks events. Just like right now listening to Lorne talk about his missions and duties here on Atlantis while McKay rambled on about his latest scientific breakthrough. Ronon never says much, usually just grunts, but he did have tales to tell about the Athosian planting party. Teyla in all her grace recounted Ronon's first attempt at harvesting the Tava fields. She had the whole table in stitches; including Ronon.

Before Lorne excused himself from the lunch table he had asked his CO to come to his office to discuss an urgent matter regarding the latest Daedalus shipment of supplies. Rodney headed back to his lab while Teyla and Ronon had training sessions lined up, now that they were back from the mainland, with several of the recent arrivals.

Now, he found his head down in his hands shaking back and forth in bewilderment. When Colonel Sheppard rolled into Lorne's office he was ready to discuss the urgent matter. He noticed the table littered with the colorful balls right away and dismissed them just as quickly. He then took notice of the two white boards. (And yes, these were actual white boards.) One board listed mission teams on and off world; on-going fitness training schedules and jumper assignments, while on the other board Lorne was working on evacuation training schedules for the Marines and civilians. Evan sat down opposite him with a quirky grin on his face as he fumbled with a bright pink nylon ball in his hands, squishing and rolling the soft ball sized item.

John had figured his second-in-command needed help with the readiness schedule and was already formulating possible solutions. It was a shock to learn that Lorne had actually called him to his office to discuss what they were going to do with the mix up on the supply list.

"This is the 'urgent matter' you wanted to discuss? How many of these things did you say we received?"

"The manifest shows 125 cases. Each case contains 10 dozen."

John did the simple calculation in his head. "Fifteen thousand!" He exclaimed. Eyes opening wider at the realization of what his exclamation had sounded like in his head.

"Yes Sir."

On the last Daedalus re-supply shipment several cases of the colorful balls had arrived. Lorne had discovered that the Quartermaster on Earth had misread the requisition; transposing a single digit in the item number. _'Fouled up'_ was more like it Lorne thought but kept that to himself for the time being.

"You're telling me we have fifteen thousand of these…these…what are these?!"

"Scrubbies." Evan said straight faced and sober. He sat straight backed in his chair and continued to play with the lightweight pink ball. An indiscriminant smile punching through his military façade.

"Scrub…what?"

"Scrubbies. They're nylon scrubbies, Sir."

"Tell me Lorne just how in the hell do you know that? And what are they for anyway?" Curiosity had finally peaked in Colonel Sheppard.

"My sister, Sir. Her whole family uses them. Each member of the family has their own color. I found out about them on my last downtime on Earth. I was giving my nephew a bath before bed and he told me his was the green one. Then he goes on to tell me whose belong to whom; my niece had a pink one, my sister used a purple one and my brother-in-law had a blue one. He's only two, Sir, and he gave his uncle quite the education on how it was used. I had no idea at the time. I thought they were for scrubbing the soap scum out of the tub. At least that's what I used it for before I knew…but don't tell my sister that. You use them instead of a washcloth. They lather up real good and exfoliate your skin to remove dead skin cells while you shower. Better if you use a liquid soap than a bar soap and the string…"

"Enough. I get the picture." Colonel Sheppard sat in silence with his head down in his hands shaking back and forth in even more bewilderment than before if that were possible.

Lorne looked embarrassed as he realized he had rattled on about the 'scrubbies' a bit too much. He still had the pink scrubbie in his hands squishing it. "Yes Sir."

Colonel Sheppard raised his head, sat there for a few minutes longer contemplating what Atlantis would do with fifteen thousand scrubbies. The city's compliment was somewhere around 980 which averaged out to about fifteen scrubbies per person. Sheppard was mostly sure that the Marines would not want anything to do with them which left just the civilians. And that per person number could be even higher if just the female populace of Atlantis used them.

"Send them back." Sheppard boldly stated.

"No can do Sir. I already checked."

'_Great'_, Colonel Sheppard frowned at the thought. "How did this happen?"

"I tracked it back to the Quartermaster of Supply back on Earth. I double and triple checked our requisitions and we did not order 125 cases of 'scrubbies'. What we did, however order was 125 cases of ammunition for the P-90's. It appears that the item number for ammo is similar to that of scrubbies. In fact, it took me ten minutes to finally find the error." The Lt. Colonel pulled up the files on his PC tablet that had been sitting to his left and produced for review the two shipping manifest requisitions. Lorne had highlighted the item number for the P-90 ammunition on the Atlantis requisition and then on the shipment manifest had highlighted the item number for the scrubbies. Turning the PC tablet towards his superior officer he continued. "Notice the item number for the ammo Sir, and here the item number for the scrubbies." Lorne pointed to each before handing the electronic tablet completely over to Colonel Sheppard. 514-G43919-O800 514-C43919-O800 Sheppard recited both numbers briefly. He knew the P-90 ammo number by heart as many times as he had put it down on requisitions over the years. "They're the same…did we get any ammo for the P-90's?"

"No Sir and that's what I thought at first, but look at the second set of digits more closely."

John took a closer look and noticed the difference now that it was pointed out. He mused over the clerical error of misreading the letter 'G' for the letter 'C'. But only for a split second. Having 125 cases of colorful nylon balls called 'scrubbies' certainly was not going to keep the Wraith at bay or any other enemy. John let his mind wander for another second and grimaced at the thought of his Marines tossing the brightly colorful, light-weight objects at approaching Wraith who were determined to suck the life from you. A slight shudder ran down his spine. Whoever the SGC had working in Quartermasters left a lot to be desired. Who in their right mind would ship fifteen thousand 'scrubbies' to a base in another galaxy? Didn't they know we were fighting a war here and that this was not some damn 'resort'.

"Okay, looks like we have more Christmas decorations. Inform all Atlantis personnel we have 'scrubbies' for the taking. Let them take as many as they want. Put the remainder in storage along with the other numerous items we've accumulated over the years and can't use. I'll contact the SGC on my way back to my office and have them expedite the ammunition through the gate on their next dial in. There's no way I'm waiting over six weeks for that ammo."

Lorne nodded to acknowledge the order.

John picked up a two-tone scrubbie of black and gray and began looking the item over, fisting it and rolling it around like he had seen Evan do. Pretty soon he was lost in another thought. They would have to find a larger storage room for all the foul-ups in supplies they had received. A gross of size 13 snow boots which only seven Marines could wear came during the height of summer when temperatures reached in the lower hundreds. Fifteen hundred red and green-ink ink pens arrived last Christmas. But it did no one any good since they didn't have or use paper all that much. His mind recalled they did make halfway descent icicles on the Pegasus Galaxies version of a Christmas tree. Two dozen child sized medium rain slickers accompanied the size 13 boots all in bright yellow. It just screamed 'Wraith bait. Here I am for the taking' for the wearer. There was no way he would allow any of the Athosian children to wear such an item. There were cases of binder clips and floppy A drive discs too. Oh and fourteen cases of paperclips which the Botany personnel made into a wonderful garland on said Christmas tree last year. It seemed Quartermaster Supply thought shipping it to Atlantis was the only way to get some surplus stock out of inventory back on Earth. Too many items, too numerous to count had showed up unexpectedly all accompanied with a 'no return' policy.

"Have Edwards locate us a larger storage facility and have him get a crew gathered up to relocate everything."

Colonel Sheppard pointed over to the white board and asked Lorne if he needed help with anything. While Lorne had his concentration turned toward the boards John pocketed the black and gray ball he had been fingering. Lorne being an aviator himself had perfect peripheral vision and saw the clandestine move.

oOo

'_Simulation Successful',_

Flashed onto the laptop screen in big bold letters.

Rodney had been working in his lab for most of the day. It was a rare occasion indeed to have the place to himself. Most days Radek worked simultaneously on projects. However today, he was glad for the respite and quiet solitude the lab offered. Zelenka had taken Dr. Weir up on her suggestion to have a 'day off'. Most everyone on Atlantis seemed to work twenty-four seven to keep the place running smoothly and safe and secure.

Dr. Heightmeyer had talked Elizabeth into having at least two scheduled 'days off' during the month to allow the expedition members some personal downtime. Kate's office of late had seen an increase in patients mostly due to the long hours and the stress of living in and coping with difficult issues in another galaxy. Today just happened to be one of those days and Rodney took full advantage of the opportunity.

He had been working on a secret project for many months now and he was close, real close to succeeding. When he came in after breakfast he set up some simulations to run on one of his many laptops, while on one of his others he wrote out equation after equation to help with the power distribution within the city. Complex algorithms scrolled across his computer as fast as Rodney could type them. Ratio and frequency distribution tables flowed from his finger tips. As fast as his fingers could type, Rodney was calculating volume, rate, range, speed coefficients and more while still pondering what he was going to have for lunch. Even with three ZPM's now powering the huge Manhattan sized city he still felt it wise to use the power conservatively. _'Waste not, want not'_ his mother had told him when he was younger. A lesson he still remembered today.

Coming back from lunch Rodney checked his multitude of laptops to make sure each one was still on track. He had two simulations running consecutively; another laptop was deciphering more of the Ancient data base using an encryption algorithm he had set up his first month here, while yet another laptop searched said data base for information about desiccated planets while Rodney himself settled down in front of a laptop to continue his power distribution equations. He heard the mechanical soft 'beep' which brought his attention around from categorical data and distributive law equations he was inputting in one laptop to the other. As he swiveled on his lab stool he read the two flashing words.

'_Simulation Successful'_

"Yes!" Rodney hollered as he sprang up from his seat. His fingers typed with speed and accuracy a few more commands for verification and he waited impatiently for a response.

'_Simulation Successful'_

He ran the simulation ten more times to be sure. He had spent the past twenty-two months working on this one project in his spare time, staying up late, or later than usual. If Rodney was seen going to his quarters before 2am it was a miracle to behold. He had assigned projects to Zelenka, Simpson and Kusanagi he would have liked to do himself. His other staff members also received projects, minor as they were just so he could continue with his secret project.

oOo

McKay remembered back to when this whole thing started as he watched the flashing words on his monitor.

"_We get to stay." Elizabeth breathed aloud to the control room staff. "Looks like we have a bit of house cleaning to do first before things can get back to normal."_

_Rodney looked up from the console, "normal? Elizabeth what has been 'normal' about anything we've done or seen in the two and a half years we've been here? This is not 'normal'; in fact it is so beyond 'normal' I don't know what to call it."_

_Elizabeth pondered Rodney's words but didn't respond. She was just happy to be able to stay and continue. Normal or not there was still so much 'out there' that needed to be learned and embraced in the Pegasus Galaxy. _

_Rodney looked at the floor around his console where he sat. Thousands of replicator blocks and pieces littered the command deck. "Yeah we do. I'll have my department sweep up this stuff once they return and get rid of it. Hey!" Snapping his fingers at his latest idea. "Maybe if I turn up the Ancient incinerators to maximum…" _

"_Rodney, I don't think we need to get carried away. They are 'dead' aren't they?" _

"_Yes Elizabeth…right now they are blank inert cell pieces."_

_Three days later a wormhole from Earth was established and the expedition members started returning through the gate. Before anyone had a chance to even breathe in the salt air of the city or put their bags down Rodney was barking out instructions to his returning minions to find brooms and sweep up the replicator parts. Did Atlantis even have brooms? He wondered silently to himself. He, himself, managed to at least clear the command deck, but that was only because he got tired of slipping on the tiny pieces._

_The replicator cells had been cleaned up from all levels and things were starting to get back to what Dr. Weir classified as 'normal' for the Pegasus Galaxy. Leaving the conference room in a hurry, Rodney was heading back towards his lab looking for Radek so they could start their next project. As he entered his lab Zelenka was looking through a microscope ooing and ahhing as only a Czech could do._

"_What are you looking at Radek?"_

"_Oh…Rodney…was curious about replicator nanite pieces. Quite interesting in fact. Construction is…"_

"_Move! Let me have a look." Rodney pushed Radek aside and peered into the DMBA300 Digital Microscope with its 3.0 megapixel camera and phase contrast option to look at the cell for himself. Rodney had been so intent on how to stop the Replicators that he hadn't even thought about taking a look at their base structure. Adjusting the focus, it was a great piece of engineering technology he thought to himself. He had to hand it to the Ancients, they did know engineering, but were lousy at leaving manuals. "I see what you mean Radek. Maybe we should keep some to study." As he peered longer into the scope he noticed the delicate circuitry that intertwined the small piece._

"_Ano. Good idea." Replied Radek. "I'll have some brought to the lab. We store them with other artefacts until we can study more."_

"_Yes…yes do that. But more importantly we need to get back to shutting down all the systems the Replicator's activated. It's draining power that we can't afford to lose now that we have a ZedPM. Well…come on! Let's go…chop…chop. Things to do, systems to shut down and all that."_

_Radek grabbed his tools and pc tablet and followed Rodney from the lab. He tapped his comm link to instruct the clean up crew to bring some of the replicator parts to the lab for later study. Radek and Rodney worked through the night shutting down system after system. There were still systems activated and draining power that didn't need to be, but could only be turned off at their location. Rodney had been unsuccessful at turning everything off remotely from the control tower or even from the chair room with Sheppard's help. _

_It was after the Colonel had his accident on P4X-497 two years later that Rodney discovered the set aside nanite pieces in the storage room. He had been hunting for a specific device that Lieutenant Ruiz had brought back from one of their missions. Rodney thought it might be a medical device of some kind and hoped to research it further to see if it would be of any help for the Colonel's paralysis. While stumbling in the storage closet Rodney came face to face with the stored Replicator cells. They never did get the chance to study them as one disaster led to another. Losing Dr. Dumais was at the forefront. Forgetting about the device he was looking for, McKay grabbed the container of cells and headed back into the lab. _

_It was two days later when he found what he was looking for, although at the time he didn't know that it was what he was looking for. Rodney just had this weird idea in the back of his mind that he just couldn't let go. And after almost two years of working on it, it was paying off._

The results from this latest batch of simulations left no doubt in his mind. His idea would work.

It was now the middle of the afternoon and he had been working non-stop since he had come back from lunch. The remnants of a chocolate chip power bar lay next to his half full cold cup of coffee. Letting go of a soft sigh, he finally had the results he had so hoped for all these many months. _'Simulation Successful'_ kept flashing on his screen. He disconnected a few wires from a small device and carefully put the small component into a shallow rectangular box with a clear lid. Powering down his laptop he gathered the small box and shuffled the tiny box and his laptop into his left hand. Snatching up the remainder of the power bar, Rodney headed out of his lab at a quick pace heading to the nearest transporter. Although he had been working for several hours, the prospect of his idea finally coming to life added a little extra spring in his step.

oOo

Rodney headed for the infirmary to share with Carson the results of the extracurricular activity that he had been working on for months. His hopes raising that the Scottish doctor could take his hypotheses to the next level. It was one thing to have a computer tell you it was successful, it was another in real life applications. If the Ancients could make Replicators and Zero Point Modules, so could the Great Doctor McKay. There wasn't a soul in two galaxies who could out-think the self-proclaimed genius of the Pegasus Galaxy.

After ten minutes of searching Rodney found the Highland doctor toiling in his own lab. It was the last place he expected him to be. He had checked his office and the main infirmary first before winding his way towards the lab. The lights were low and the place was quiet. Rodney almost didn't go in. Carson had let a good percentage of his staff have the day off while he and a skeleton crew of nurses, techs and other doctors stayed to cover any emergencies.

"Carson, I need to bother you - Twenty minutes Carson that's all I need. Surely you can stop your voodoo research for twenty minutes."

"Aye…I could stop for twenty minutes, but the real question is do I want to stop to listen to you? It's not every day that I get a chance like this. The infirmary is quiet; my staff has the day off so I'm not constantly being bothered by one thing or another. Really Rodney can't it wait until tomorrow?"

"No Carson it can't wait until tomorrow. Twenty minutes that's all I'm asking…" Rodney was definitely above asking 'please' but if it got the Highland Sheepherder to say yes, well than he guessed he could allow himself this one indignation and say it.

Just as McKay opened his mouth to utter the single pleading word of 'please' Carson relented.

Rodney couldn't believe he managed to talk Carson into leaving his research long enough to hear him out. The two adjourned to the doctor's small office just off the main infirmary.

Carson leaned back in his office chair running his hand through his hair. He had entertained Rodney for the past several hours locked up in his cramped office. _'Twenty minutes my arse.'_ When the two entered, Rodney made sure the door was closed and locked, blinds drawn shut as he didn't want them to be disturbed. "Rodney I don't see how this can be possible."

"Please Carson, don't say no yet. Take another look at the data, run your own tests and trials. Do whatever voodoo it is you do, but please don't say no yet. I know this will work. It just has to." Said Rodney pleading his case one last time. He wasn't about to give up, not when he was this close.

Dr. Beckett rubbed his hand on the back of his neck trying to get the kink worked out that had settled there hours ago while listening to Rodney's proposal. He leaned forward over his desk considering Rodney's latest plea. "Alright. Give me a few weeks to run some of my own tests. Who else knows about this?"

"No one, just you and me. If your tests prove what I know they will, we can inform Elizabeth." Blurted Rodney, as a Cheshire Cat grin came to his face as a silent thank-you for the Doctor giving in to his pathetic plea.

"I'll let ya know Rodney. Now I have my own work to get back too." Carson pushed up from his chair and walked to the door and opened it, ushering Rodney out with his other hand.

Rodney slipped the data flash drive into Carson's hands on his way out. Offering his assistance with any experiments or tests one last time before leaving the infirmary.

Carson stood in his doorway holding the flash drive. He had told Rodney he needed to get back to his own research but right now all he could think about was 'could it be possible?'. Fingering the data in his hand he turned back and sat down. Powering up his laptop he researched everything he could on Rodney's topic. When he was done with that he retreated to his quarters where he kept most of the medical journals. The infirmary just didn't have the space available for setting up a medical library. A few 'most referenced' books he kept in his office but the majority of the medical books, manuals, journals and articles he kept in his spacious quarters. Carson had been fortunate enough that first year to snag a fairly large room just down the hall from the infirmary as his quarters. There had been times when he wished he wasn't so close and others that he wished he had been closer.

oOo

Three weeks later Dr. Beckett and Dr. McKay found themselves in agreement. Rodney didn't believe medicine was a true science but in this case he knew enough to know that his idea wouldn't work without Carson. Now it was up to the two of them to convince Dr. Weir. Rodney reached up to tap his comm. "Elizabeth."

"_Yes Rodney, what can I do for you?"_ Dr. Weir responded with interest.

"I need to speak with you…its kinda urgent." McKay's tone reflected the urgency of the matter as he looked over at Carson. Rodney's eminence nervousness was showing up because he was rocking back and forth from heals to toes.

"_Alright, come to my office." _

Rodney grabbed his laptop from Carson's desk and started for the door. Carson did the same and was two paces behind Rodney as they exited the infirmary. "Be there in two minutes. McKay out."

Twenty-two…no…make that twenty-three months now of work, countless simulations; many sleepless nights and hundreds, if not thousands of pots of coffee later he had a viable solution. A solution he hoped would be received with warm, welcoming arms. But was he doing the right thing though? Was the prototype really ready? Would it work in human trials? Carson thought so. In a fleeting moment panic doubt crossed his mind and Rodney didn't like doubt at all. He was a man of certainties; there was no room for doubt.

Carson had called Rodney to his lab on several occasions during the last few weeks. Carson had read everything he could get his eyes and hands on. The pair set up experiments in Carson's lab and Carson ran similar simulations. Using a small pig-like animal Carson secured from the mainland in his initial research and trails because they were quite similar to human physiology. McKay was absent for those trials, squeamish in fact, but otherwise the two scientists put their heads together to achieve their common goal.

The pair took the steps up the grand staircase two at a time to the control deck, barely noticing staff or military in their path. Crossing the catwalk from the command deck to Weir's office door, Rodney stopped briefly to rap his knuckles on the glass wall to announce their arrival.

Dr. Weir looked up from her laptop and the report she was reading from Capt. Cadman's mission to M7C-927 a moon in the Lydren constellation. She was surprised to see Carson had come along as well. She motioned for Rodney and Carson to enter waving her hand in a friendly 'come in' gesture followed by a concerned smile since Rodney had mentioned the somewhat urgency of the matter.

McKay and Beckett took the last few strides into her office sitting down in the two guest chairs opposite her desk. Setting down his laptop, Rodney took the rectangular box he carried and carefully placed it on the desk as well. Carson kept his laptop on his lap lightly tapping the casing in his nervousness. Rodney used his synthetic ATA gene to mentally close and lock the office door. _At least it was good for some things_, he smiled inwardly. There were times when he envied Sheppard and his natural super gene but he would never in a million years admit it to the errant flyboy. He breathed out another sigh of anticipation. What he wanted to discuss was too important for interruptions.

Dr. Weir closed her laptop and moved it to the side to show Rodney and Carson that they had her full attention. Resting her hands on her desk, clasping her fingers together, she inquired, "okay Doctors', to what do I owe the pleasure of your company today?"

When neither man spoke Dr. Weir broke the silence between them. "Rodney, are you alright? You both look nervous…for a lack of a better word." Rodney was wringing his hands and his eyes were darting back and forth wildly. Carson wasn't much better; he now had a death grip on his laptop.

"Yes, yes I'm fine. And you could say I am a little nervous." McKay huffed and shifted in his seat trying to get comfortable. "What I…we…I mean 'we' need to speak to you about could be life altering." Rodney took a glance at Carson as he spoke.

Dr. Weir folding her arms across her chest leaned back into her office chair her eyes darted back and forth between the two men waiting for one of them to begin speaking. She hoped that Rodney's 'life altering' talk had to do with a plan to stop the Wraith in this galaxy. Assuming that Dr. Beckett was in on the discovery she found herself impatiently waiting.

McKay finally opened his laptop and accessed the file. Turning his laptop at an angle so that Dr. Weir could view the screen he began presenting his findings. Explaining how this all had come about and how he had been working on this for the past two years. Every detail laid out. Rodney kept nothing back. About half way through, Carson opened his laptop that showed the results and findings from his weeks of research and trials including the simulations he had done on the pig-like animal.

Rodney had talked nearly non-stop for the past four and a half hours allowing Carson to get a word in once in a while and after all their combined explanations, research, data and simulations Elizabeth found herself unsettled.

"Rodney, are you sure?" Dr. Weir asked searching those blue eyes that sat before her for an answer. What she needed now was reassurance. And only Rodney and Carson could offer her that. Elizabeth had a lot of faith and confidence in their unique abilities. They had proved that over and over again since coming to Atlantis.

"As sure as I can be. I've worked on this for the past twenty-three months; the proof is all here Elizabeth." McKay tapped his computer to get his point across.

Carson glanced at Rodney and received a slight nod to proceed. "It's possible Elizabeth. I was skeptical myself at first. As I showed you I did several experiments and tests myself. I reviewed Rodney's information more than a few times and with Rodney's help Joe recovered nicely."

Dr. Weir took notice of the name 'Joe' and sat abruptly forward in her chair, arms resting on the top of her desk. She had been sitting back in her chair with one arm over her head resting on the back of the chair while listening to her two associates. This was the first she heard of a live experiment and she knew full well she had not given permission for any live trials. "Carson, who's Joe?"

"Joe? Oh, he's one of my lab mice. He was in an accident a couple of months back, got out of his cage and got caught between an office chair and the wall. Poor little fella got squished. With Rodney's help here, we managed to adapt the block, temporarily. After we hooked up Joe it only took an hour and the wee one was back to being himself again. I felt sorry for the poor bugger when I had to disconnect the block." Carson finished his statement shaking his head back and forth and looking down towards the floor.

"Suck it up Carson, it's for the greater good here…remember?" Rodney pointed out to the tenderhearted physician. If they hadn't adapted the block to use on Joe for the test Carson would still be saying this was all academic.

"Aye Rodney I know. But it still breaks my heart."

Drawing the two doctors' back on topic Weir asked, "what are the odds for success?" She said calmly.

"Sixty – forty." "Eighty – twenty." Exclaimed Carson and Rodney simultaneously.

"That's quite a difference." She said raising one eyebrow and looking warily from her CMO to her CSO.

Rodney retorted quickly before Carson could get a word in. "That's because he erred on the side of caution. Trust me Elizabeth the odds are good that this will work. I know it will. I've spent the better part of two years working on all the minor details, every nuance, every angle. This will work, I'm sure of it."

"Okay then, I guess our next move is to talk to John about this." She gave a short pause then added, "however, I think it best we talk to him in his quarters."

Rodney and Carson agreed that would be for the best. No need to open this can of worms in a public place. None of them knew how he would react to the news.

"John has exercises with Carl tonight, why don't I clear it with Carl and we can meet in John's quarters at 19:00 hours." After receiving confirmation from her CMO and CSO, Elizabeth contacted Dr. Epson to make the final arrangements.

oOo

John had spent the better part of his day it seemed ferrying groups of scientists to the mainland. First there was Dr. Alyce Deerman who showed up at his office door right at 09:00. She had a team of three that wanted to study a mineral formation that one of the Athosians had come across on the southern plain a few days ago. Normal procedure was to fill out a mission request; outline objectives, state required equipment and personnel, then forward it to the Colonel for consideration and planning. They spoke for fifteen minutes before the Colonel authorized the mission. They were only going to the mainland after all…not some planet far away so the Colonel tolerated the lapse in procedure. John added a team of Marines as escort and flew them to the mainland in Jumper One. And last, but not least he _strongly_ advised Dr. Deerman of the proper mission request procedure if she ever wanted any future outings. Feeling he had chastised her enough he let her go with a strong warning.

By the time he got back which was just before lunch an eager Dr. Marvin Gebhardt and two of his associates wanted transportation to the mainland to take samples of a plant that has healing properties. John advised the eager doctor he would take him and his team to the mainland right after lunch. Gebhardt's mission request had been pre-approved, stamped and certified as a go and was scheduled for 13:00 hours and the Colonel wasn't going to be persuaded to go any earlier. Besides, he needed to stay on his rigid schedule and each lunch first. By the time he rolled into the jumper bay the escort team and Dr. Gebhardt's team were waiting. At 13:07 hours the jumper took flight and the eight headed for the western peninsula of the mainland where this plant had been discovered.

Once he dropped off Dr. Gebhardt, he flew the jumper over to the mineral deposit site to check on Dr. Deerman. He hoped she was ready to return to Atlantis as this would save him a trip later on. Instead she requested to stay overnight and the team of Marines didn't have a problem with that. They unloaded a few of the stocked supplies from Jumper One so they could make camp for the night. As John lifted off into the air heading back towards Atlantis he could already see his Marines setting up the tents while Dr. Deerman and her staff went back to doing what they do. Whatever that was. How could a mineral be worthy for an overnight stay?

He managed two and a half hours of work in his office before he headed back to the mainland to pick up Dr. Gebhardt.

Usually Colonel Sheppard didn't pay that close attention to requisitions that were forwarded from his executive office. He knew Lorne would scrutinize each requisition before sending it to him for his final authorization. But today he paid close attention to the personal items being requested. It had been a month now that the shipment of 'scrubbies' had arrived and unbeknownst to him he saw an increase in liquid soap requests. What really startled him was the fact that 48 percent of the increase came from the military. Closing his laptop after signing off on all his paperwork, he took Jumper One out to pick up Dr. Gebhardt and his team arriving safely back in Atlantis just in time for dinner.

oOo

John headed for his quarters right after dinner in the mess hall. He wheeled himself into his room and over to his dresser to get out a pair of shorts. When Carl did his exercises, John's work out clothes consisted of a t-shirt and shorts; it made it easier for Carl to work his leg muscles if he could actually see them and not just feel them through his BDU pants or sweats. Carl would start out with stretches; each leg got a thorough workout and sometimes his arms and shoulders before Carl had John do the pull-ups, push-ups and sit-ups that kept his body well toned and healthy. This had been his routine for two years now. Ever since Carl came to Atlantis to help him after his accident; three nights a week stretches and calisthenics and three nights a week Katas with Teyla and Ronon. Interspersed with the occasional off world rescue.

John reached for the control mechanism to activate the lift which would deposit him on his bed so he could change out of his BDU pants and put on his shorts. He had already put his gun and thigh holster away in the nightstand drawer upon coming into his room. Carl had taught him a long time ago how to get dressed if no one was around. Since Carl informed him he would be late, John took the initiative to change into his shorts himself instead of waiting for Carl's assistance. It would take longer to do it himself, but he had the extra time. He was about to activate the lift, when his door chimed. Setting down his shorts and the lift remote on the bed, he turned his wheelchair around and headed back into the living space. Getting close to the door he thought 'open' and was surprised to see Elizabeth and Rodney.

It had barely been fifteen minutes since he'd left Rodney in the mess hall where they had dinner. He hadn't mentioned anything about dropping by his quarters. They all knew he had PT with Carl tonight. However, now that he thought back to dinner, Rodney was a little more…less talkative than usual. When he had exercises, everyone knew Lt. Colonel Lorne was in charge barring any disaster. It had been this way ever since Carl had arrived. "Is there a problem?" John inquired right away seeing the look of apprehension on their faces as well as their body language. Rodney fidgeting at the suites threshold.

"No John, no problem. Atlantis is fine, everyone is fine. We just need to talk to you in private. I hope you don't mind that we came here. Carson and Dr. Epson will be joining us shortly. Can we come in?" Elizabeth explained as she found herself shifting from side to side with nervous anticipation.

Remembering his manners, John bowed slightly and swept his hand in a 'please enter' motion then backed away from the door so the pair could enter the suite. "I don't mind Elizabeth, but you do have me at a disadvantage. Why the private conversation? Is something coming down from the SGC or IOA?" John asked a bit eagerly realizing that all the department heads would soon be in his living space.

"Nothing like that. We'll explain everything when Carson gets here. Do you mind if we sit down?" Elizabeth tried to sound nonchalant but she didn't think she was succeeding. It was the same now as it was with her bedside manner; she knew she sucked at it. She wondered how she could be so good at negotiating with Heads of State, Aliens and yet suck at small talk and comfort with her friends.

"Yes of course, I'm sorry…please sit down. You just took me by surprise. Usually meetings with department heads take place in your office or the briefing room, not in my private quarters." John pointed out to his guests.

Rodney had yet to say a word. He had let Elizabeth do all the talking so far. Very un-Rodney like. Rodney just kept a tight hold on his laptop that dangled in front of him clutched in both his hands. It was not like Rodney to be this quiet. As Rodney and Elizabeth moved to sit down, John wheeled himself to his normal spot at the end of the couch. With his back towards his room he could face whoever sat on the couch or the two lounge chairs that were in his quarters. Whenever he had guests in for movie night, John took up this particular spot at the end of the couch. It was easy access to get in and out of as well as close to his bedroom if he needed to excuse himself for whatever reason. Elizabeth took a seat on the couch and Rodney sat down in the lounge chair closest to the Colonel.

The three made idle chit-chat as the minutes ticked off slowly one by one. John picked up on several glances that were exchanged between Elizabeth and Rodney while they waited for Carson and Carl to arrive. The air was thick with anticipation and worry. So thick it could have been cut with a knife. John entertained the thought of opening the balcony door but decided against it in the long run. John could not stop his mind from overloading him with scenarios that something serious was wrong. _Could Elizabeth be sick? She didn't look sick, although a bit pale. Was she going to be replaced? Why is Rodney clutching his computer so hard that his knuckles are turning white? And why is he not speaking normally? He gave curt yes and no answers instead of his usual lengthy drawn-out responses that left you half asleep. What do Carson and Carl have to do with any of this?_ _Had the expedition been recalled? Am I being replaced? Had the Air Force changed their mind about my command status? _ His mind was filled with questions when he heard the familiar whoosh of his door opening up and Carson and Carl came walking in. Carl carried with him a tray of coffee and a couple bottles of water. He gently placed them on the coffee table between the couch and chairs.

Carson took a seat on the couch next to where John was sitting; Elizabeth sat on his left, while Carl sat down in the second lounge chair to Dr. McKay's right. Carson settled his laptop on the seat cushion between himself and Elizabeth.

John who had enough of idle, vague responses and with his mind running wild with thoughts did not waste any more time. "Now would someone please tell me what's going on?" His tone snapped out each word that would have a new recruit wetting his pants. He hadn't meant for his words to come out so harsh but what was done was done.

Being the diplomat and negotiator that she was, Elizabeth straightened a bit on the couch as she spoke. She knew that John was getting upset with all the vagueness that was being projected. While they waited, John had tried to gain answers from them. "I'm sorry John, we don't mean to alarm you, but we have some news that might come as a shock to you. I'll let Rodney explain since he has done the most work."

"So you're not leaving, sick or dying. I'm not being replaced. You're not being replaced and McKay here isn't being put in charge. Do I have that right?" John asked letting a grin form on his face as he took in each of their expressions. "My mind has been going a hundred miles a minute since you got here wondering why the head of each department is secretly meeting in my quarters. You can't imagine all the thoughts that ran through my head. Are Teyla and Ronon coming here too?"

The group let out a collective sigh. Elizabeth explained that the two natives would not be joining them at this time since this was a 'personal' kind of meeting. As everyone's nerves quieted down some, Carson and Elizabeth reached for a cup of coffee, while Carl passed John a bottle of water. Rodney didn't bother with either as he really wanted to get this out in the open. He was exhausted at keeping this a secret for so long, especially these last few weeks. And especially from his best friend.

"Colonel." Rodney began, his voice cracked a little. Coughing a little to clear it he began again, "Colonel, I've been working on a project for the past twenty-three months and I wish I could have come up with this sooner, but I guess now is better than not at all." Rodney took a deep breath in to settle his nerves while opening up his laptop and requesting the files. Once that was done he reached into his pocket and pulled out the small rectangular box with the clear lid and handed it to the Colonel.

John took the small box and looked at it with curiosity while he waited for Rodney to continue. Inside the small box he could see what looked like a small circuit board resting on a piece of foam in the center of the box. At the top and bottom were fine wire looking filaments no more than an inch in length. The circuit board was maybe a little bigger than a postage stamp, but not much.

"What you are holding is a modified single cell Replicator Block." Rodney started out saying.

At hearing the word 'replicator' John fumbled with the tiny box and almost dropped it like it was burning his hands or something. Rodney saw the reaction and quickly grabbed the box out of the Colonel's hands before it could hit the floor. The circuitry and fine filaments were just too fragile and wouldn't be able to sustain a drop to the floor. Had the Colonel had his gun he probably would have shot it or called Ronon in to vaporize it using his blaster. Thank God he was in the middle of changing clothes and had already taken off his side arm. The thought of what Oberoth had put him through back on Asuras after their first meeting quickly came to the forefront of his mind making him wince with pain.

"It's alright, it won't hurt you. Quite the opposite I hope. It's completely safe." Rodney said as he took the box back and sat it down on the coffee table. "Remember when we took the city back from the Asuran's and rescued General O'Neill and Richard Woolsey?" John nodded his understanding recalling the situation quite well in fact and allowed Rodney to continue. "After we used the Anti-Replicator Weapon in the shield emitters there were millions of these scattered around Atlantis. Radek and I thought we should save some to study so the science department scooped up several random samples in hopes we could figure a way to disrupt them permanently. I totally forgot about them until I was searching for an Ancient device after your accident. That's when I came across them. We never did get around to studying them as one disaster after another seemed to pop up. But then an idea came to me. What if I could program a single cell?"

John kept his eye cast on the small clear box. Carl reached forward to get his first look at a Replicator cell. The Colonel's eyes following the small box as Carl brought it to him for inspection. During their PT nights the Colonel would talk about past missions and had told Carl about the Asurans. Carl was in awe that those beings were made up of millions and millions of these small blocks. Setting the small box back down on the table he turned his attention back to Dr. McKay and Colonel Sheppard.

"…in my spare time over the last two years I have been working on this theory using this Replicator Block to repair your spinal cord. And I've done it. Carson agrees it will work." Rodney looked at his friend trying to determine if he understood what he was telling him. What he was offering him.

Carson and Carl also were watching the Colonel closely for any negative reaction. Carson had come prepared and hiding in his lab coat pocket was a sedative just in case this whole evening went pear shaped.

John hadn't moved at all. He was still staring at the small box sitting on the coffee table. His mind was trying to grasp what Rodney had just said, 'repair your spinal cord'. After all these months he didn't think that was possible. Yet Rodney and Carson were now saying that it was. He remembered vividly…like it was yesterday, Carson saying plain as day as he lay there in the infirmary after his accident, _"…you have a complete spinal cord injury; which is total loss of motor function and sensation below the waist."_ _"The paralysis is permanent."_ Now they're telling me it's 'not permanent'.

"Colonel are you okay?" Carson asked quietly as he leaned forward to get a better look at the Colonel. Reaching his hand out to take a pulse was the instinct of any good Doctor worth his salt. Carl was sitting on the edge of his chair also ready to spring into action if the need arose.

Seeing movement and realizing someone was speaking or had spoken, John climbed out of his stupor of the past. He looked up at the four concerned faces staring back at him. "What?" A sheen of perspiration donned his forehead and his palms were sweaty. He found himself wiping his hands off on his pants in a fidgety sort of way.

"I asked if you are all right. Do you want us to stop now or would you like us to continue?" Carson explained simply. As always he was looking out for his patient.

"I'm fine…I think...for now anyway. You can continue." John's quiet drawl was barely audible.

Taking that as a good sign, Rodney turned his laptop towards the Colonel and began going over each segment of his proposal in detail. The Colonel followed along as Rodney pointed out one aspect after another. He had started to ask pertinent questions along the way to make sure he had an understanding of what was being offered but there was so much to take in that he gave up. Rodney had gone off on one of his tangents into some techno-babble jargon about base coding that John didn't understand, but didn't want to stop Rodney at this point to explain. John figured there would be time later to have Rodney put it in layman's terms so to speak. When Rodney was done, Carson brought his laptop out and started talking about the medical side of the science. Cutting a small section of his damaged spine out to be replaced with the replicator block and infuse the two ends into the severed nerves. Re-establishing blood flow using resectable veins and arteries obtained from the small pig-like animal. There was more to the procedure, a lot more, but John was so overwhelmed with information and details he found it hard to concentrate.

Sure he had it easy. Rodney's whole premise was to get a signal from the brain to the legs and back again. Carson had the real tough job of restoring blood flow around the damaged part of the spine.

After nearly four hours of listening to Rodney's and Carson's explanations, and the banter that broke out back and forth between them on one point or another John finally asked, "what are my chances?"

Rodney and Carson looked at each other and at the same time blurted out, "seventy – thirty."

TBC

1/14

16


	2. Chapter 2

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** I am NOT in the medical, military or science professions so what you read is just 'winging it'. Hope it all sounds plausible. Also in my stories there will always be Dr. Weir and Dr. Beckett.

This is the fourth story I've written dealing with Colonel Sheppard's disability. Preceding order: Three for the Price of Two, Conquering Adversities, Unexpected Surprises.

The story was beta read and any remaining errors are my own. Enjoy.

Life Altering

By Kwillads

Chapter 2

John started to maneuver his wheelchair in preparation to leave. "I need time to think this through." John uttered to the group.

"Of course John, we understand. This is a big decision. Take all the time you need," offered the mostly quiet Elizabeth who hadn't spoke much during the past few hours except to rein Rodney back to topic when he got on one of his tangents.

"Thanks. I'll let you know. If you'll excuse me." John turned his wheelchair towards his room. He just wanted to escape those faces staring at him. Each one wanted an answer that he couldn't give right now.

Before he reached his bedroom door Carson spoke up. "Lad, you going to be okay?"

Stopping at the threshold to his room he simply replied. "Yeah Doc. I'm fine." It was a reflex response. Without looking at any of them he continued into his room leaving his guests to ponder. It was rude of him he knew. He just had to get away. He saw the hope in their faces; the hope he had lost over two years ago.

"This is a lot of information for the Colonel to process. I will watch him closely, do not worry. If something comes up, I will notify you all immediately." Carl paused for a moment then added, "is this really possible?"

Dr. McKay turned to face Carl, "you were right here listening when it was explained. Weren't you paying attention? Yes it's possible." Rodney said with a sour tongue only he could pull off.

"Rodney!" Carson and Elizabeth exclaimed together as the threesome made their way to the exit.

Rodney was upset at how the Colonel turned his back on the whole presentation like it didn't pertain to him in the least bit. Like they had just discussed an up and coming mission. John's lack of enthusiasm towards the prospect of walking fueled Rodney's anger even more. The least the Colonel could have done was acknowledge his work with a 'good work Rodney' or 'you did this for me?'. Something, anything would have been better than the cold shoulder and retreating back going into his room.

"I don't doubt your ability Dr. McKay; it's just that if this works there are so many people in the world who could benefit from this technology. My sister included." Replied the Swiss Doctor.

Rodney had forgotten about Carl's sister. It was a long time ago about a month or so after Carl arrived on Atlantis that Carl had mentioned his sister was his major inspiration for his choice of his particular career path.

Carl bid the three a 'goodnight' and turned his attention to the Colonel. Stepping into the Colonel's room Carl found the Colonel lost in thought in the doorway of the bathroom staring at a point somewhere behind Carl.

"Colonel, are you ready for your shower?" Carl questioned. Wanting to take the Colonel's mind off the last topic of conversation and move onto something else for a while.

"Um…why don't we do that in the morning? I'm really tired now and would like to go to bed…it's been a long day and it's late." It was 23:37 hours; the Colonel faked a yawn as he spoke. It was his usual time for bed although tonight he didn't think he would be sleeping much. All of Rodney's technical mumbo jumbo and Carson's medical jargon blinked across his mind like the neon lights of Vegas.

"That's fine. Why don't you get what you want to sleep in then and I'll help you change." Carl replied.

Seeing that his shorts were still lying on the bed, John decided that would be good enough for right now. Rolling over to position his wheelchair for the lift, he picked up his shorts and handed them to Carl without saying a word.

oOo

At 05:04 the next morning Carl walked into the Colonel's bedroom. He knew that the Colonel would be up and getting ready for his morning run with Ronon and since he had put on shorts to sleep in, Carl figured he would want to change into sweatpants before going out this morning.

At his arrival he found the Colonel shifting his left leg off the side of the bed and was now seated. Both lifeless limbs planted on the floor, his back arched over his lap and the Colonel's head hung down as a hand scrubbed at his tired bristled face. John hadn't slept well at all. His mind wouldn't shut off. He kept thinking about what Rodney and Carson had told him. And when he did fall asleep, he mutated into a Replicator and began assimilating and killing those friends who opposed him. But that came after reliving his fast decent down the ravine and smacking into the two trees with a resounding 'thwack'. Hearing Carson tell him he was paralyzed again and again and again. Needless to say his mind was brutally attacked and he was mentally exhausted.

Carl cleared his throat as it appeared the Colonel was unaware of his presence. The Colonel looked up upon hearing the gruff noise, gave a slight nod and turned back to his original posture. Carl noted that the Colonel's hazel eyes were dull and bloodshot. The Swiss Doctor had seen this look many times, the look of someone in emotional turmoil.

"Colonel, I thought you might want to put on sweatpants before your run." Doing his best to hide his overwhelming urge to be in 'Doctor' mode, Carl waited for a response. What the Colonel needed now was an understanding friend, not a doctor and certainly not a psychologist.

"Actually Carl, I don't feel much like running this morning. Since I'm already dressed, how about we do those exercises I missed out on last night?" The Colonel offered as an alternative solution.

"That's fine Colonel. I'll get everything set up while you contact Specialist Dex." Carl nodded as he crossed the room to where the exam bed, pull-up bar and gym mat were kept.

The Colonel nodded in reply to Carl's suggestion and reached for his headset that lay on the nightstand. He contacted Ronon and told him he was not up to running this morning and to go without him. By the time their short conversation was over, Carl had the mat in place in the doorway and was pulling the exam bed they used for stretches to the walkway area at the foot of his bed.

Carl was relieved that the Colonel had chosen to do his exercises instead of taking a run. Carl only hoped that the Colonel would be open to conversation as well. Normally while doing the stretches and between sit-ups and so forth the two men carried on a conversation, gaining insights into one another, as to their likes and dislikes. The Colonel would talk about past missions good and bad, work, his Marines, the numerous reports on his laptop or whatever would be on his mind at the time. Carl would talk about his day and the work he was doing with Dr. Beckett or some of the rehab he was doing with the base staff. Carl would ask questions about the Pegasus Galaxy and relay information about Switzerland. It was cathartic for both men to talk, more so for the Colonel however as being Second in Command and Military Commander had its stresses. Carl hoped that today would be no different.

The Colonel had a lot to think through. He was being offered a seventy percent chance to walk again.

"Colonel I'm all set up. Are you ready?" Carl glanced in the direction of the Colonel who still had not moved from his original position on the bed.

At the sound of Carl's voice, the Colonel drew himself out of his thoughts and reached for the remote for the lift. He got himself into his wheelchair and headed off to the bathroom. When he came back minutes later he rolled to a stop next to the exam bed so that Carl could start with the leg stretches.

Carl steadied him and the Colonel pushed his way up onto the exam bed. Carl put his left hand between the Colonel's shoulders to guide him down at the same time Carl's right hand swept the Colonel's legs onto the bed so that the Colonel was lying down. A well oiled motion that had been practiced and used so many times over the past two years. Once in position, Carl began working the right leg muscles, stretching, bending and pulling to stave off blood clots and to keep the muscles from atrophying. The Colonel had good muscle tone and Carl wanted to keep it.

It had been several minutes and the Colonel still had not uttered a single word. At first Carl thought that the Colonel had fallen back asleep. It wouldn't be the first time that exhaustion had pulled the Colonel back into sleep while Carl masterfully manipulated the silent limbs. Peering down he realized the Colonel was still awake so Carl thought he would start a conversation to see if the Colonel would respond. "You look pretty tired this morning. Did you not sleep well last night?" Okay it was obvious to anyone that the Colonel hadn't slept, however this just might be what was needed to get the Colonel talking.

The Colonel had his left arm resting across his eyes, his right arm resting across his ribcage as Carl worked his leg muscles. There wasn't much for him to do at this point; his work out would start when he hit the mat. The Colonel almost laughed upon hearing Carl's question. He knew he looked terrible and he knew that Carl knew it too. The quick glance at the bathroom mirror confirmed what he already knew.

"You're stating the obvious Carl. I would have thought you'd be more subtle than that. And you're assumption is correct, I didn't sleep worth a damn. In fact I don't think I slept at all." On purpose he left out the nightmares not wanting to give Carl an 'in'. "Too much information buzzing around inside my head. I will admit I was having a hard time grasping McKay's idea. I've been paralyzed over two years now. Do you really think I have a chance of walking again?" Carl was thinking of a response to his inquiry when the Colonel continued. "I mean… seventy percent, that's good odds even in Vegas. What if it only works on rats and not humans? Why now? I've made peace with myself and accepted my fate that for the rest of my life I would be in a wheelchair. Now Rodney's offering me a chance to walk, one I wish he would have offered two years ago. At that time I would have taken him up on it in a heartbeat, but now? Now I'm not sure. I have a very good life here. I still keep my people and city safe. I can fly and surf and run. I don't mind the scheduling, reports and meetings like I thought I would. Is going off world and the possible danger of getting hurt worth the risk? And the worst part of all is that there would be a Replicator Block inside me."

Carl moved to the other side of the exam bed and began working the Colonel's left leg. Noting that the Colonel had stopped talking Carl tried to answer his questions. "Dr. McKay has worked on this practically from the beginning when you became paralyzed. He's your friend and a certified genius as he so often tells us. I don't believe he would bring this up now if he had any doubts of its success. Dr. Beckett seems to agree it will work. In my opinion you are an excellent candidate for this procedure. You are the most tenacious and determined individual I've ever met. If you decide to go through with this, you need to know that it will be a struggle. You will not just wake up and walk again like nothing happened. You will essentially be learning how to walk all over again. It will be worse than when you recovered from your captivity in Afghanistan with that broken leg. If you think your physical therapy is hard now…" Carl let that sentence drop and sink in a little before he continued. "Look at it this way, if you don't try, you'll always wonder. If you try and it does not work, nothing is lost. If you try and it does work, then you will have regained the use of your legs and possibly others who have the same disability would also benefit."

Carl was done with the leg stretches. He moved on to the Colonel's left arm and shoulder and worked the muscles for mobility. When he was done he moved to the right arm and repeated the same stretches. Keeping his arm and shoulder muscles limber helped to stave off shoulder tendonitis from using the wheelchair. Now it was time for pull-ups, push-up and sit-ups. Carl had set the metal bar across the bedroom doorway and the Colonel got himself into position after being helped back into his wheelchair. Once he grabbed the bar and lifted himself out of the chair, Carl pulled the wheelchair back and out of the way. The Colonel faced the living space with his back to Carl as he pulled his chin above the bar.

In the middle of his pull-ups he began talking again. "You know…" The Colonel started to say as he pulled his chin over the bar, "…I'm not crazy about having a Replicator Block…" He said on his way down. "…inside me," as he made his way up again over the bar. "…let alone infused in my spine." He breathed out.

Carl sat on the end of the Colonel's bed now continuing his count. He had put the exam bed back in its place. Doing his best to piece together what the Colonel was saying he responded. "From what my understanding is about the Replicator Block it will not have the capacity or programming to take control over your systems conscious or sub-conscious thoughts. Dr. McKay has written a completely new base code for this one function only, nothing more. Did he not say he started with an inert block?"

"Yeah…I know…" The Colonel breathed out as his chin made it over the bar. "… but what if someone..." he said on his way down. "…figures a way to…" as he started back up again. "…overwrite…" letting his arms go straight, "…its programming while…" his chin barely cleared the bar this time. "…it's in me." He finally got out. As he lifted his chin over the bar again, he paused there to ask his next question. "Hey…are you keeping count? Because I lost count and can't talk at the same time."

Carl let out a chuckle, "yes Colonel I have been keeping count, you have six more to do and you will have your fifty."

"I'm glad you think this is funny." The Colonel snorted almost out of breath and his breathing hitched as he just hung there with his chin over the metal bar. Lowering his body down again, the Colonel made quick work of the last six pull-ups.

"You will have to discuss that with Dr. McKay. I do not know if it will be possible to re-write his program." Carl finally got around to answering the Colonel's last inquiry.

Seeing that the Colonel had completed his fifty pull-ups, Carl stood behind the Colonel with his arms wrapped around his heaving chest and slowly lowered the Colonel to the mat below. The Colonel stretched out and breathed deeply for a few minutes. Sweat ran down his temple, his hair beginning to mat against his scalp as he lay there breathing in and out. Fifty pull-ups were not arduous work for his body at all since he had been doing them for two years now. It was the talking in between that made it difficult and possibly the fact that he hadn't slept much. He should have just concentrated on his form and waited to talk afterwards.

Carl prodded him to get started on his push-ups or sit-ups which ever he wanted to do first. So at his prompt, the Colonel rolled over so that his back was to the open bedroom door and he was facing into the mat. The Colonel decided to start with push-ups; he only had fifty of those to do as well. Whereas with the sit-ups Carl had him do one hundred. "Colonel, do the first twenty with only your left hand and your right hand on your back." Carl advised him cautiously as he began stripping the bed of its bedding.

"Oh come on Carl, why are you being so hard on me this morning?" The Colonel half twisted so he could look up at him from the mat on the floor as he whined. Yes it was a whine. It was not like he had never done this before, but usually this was Carl's little way of punishing him for some small indiscretion. But for the life of him, he didn't know what he had done to deserve this.

"You know why, now get started." Sternly Carl gave the protesting and whining Colonel his orders. And like all good soldiers, the Colonel followed them while he silently kept count of the Colonel's progress.

The Colonel did as he was instructed and raised up on both hands and once he was steady, he put his right hand on the small of his back and began doing his one handed push-ups. After those were done, he switched and did another twenty with his right hand and his left hand on his back. About half way through the second set of twenty push-ups the Colonel realized what his offense must have been. "How did you find out?" He asked as Carl crossed over the mat to the closet to get out the clean bedding at the same time he tossed the dirty linens into the nearby hamper.

Carl pondered whether or not he should say. He liked having his spy network. It had taken him a month to get his network established and Dr. Beckett had warned him early on that the Colonel would do things his way and would rather pay the consequences later. Carl made sure he paid the consequences, hence the forty one-handed push-ups.

"What do you mean Colonel? Is there something I should know?" Carl's subtle query sent shivers down the Colonel's spine even while he had ten more push-ups to go. "I just thought you needed a better work out this morning before you started your day. Get your mind off last nights topic for a while." Carl added trying to cover up what he must already know was a dead give-away to why he was putting the Colonel through this.

John knew that this was not just another one of his harder work outs. John knew from experience that Carl had found out somehow, or by way of someone, that he had eaten a chocolate bar after dinner night before last. It was innocent enough, one of the pretty scientists offered him a chocolate bar for helping her out in the lab with one of her projects and it would have been rude to not accept. Granted he didn't need to eat it, but it was chocolate, sweet milk chocolate and Carl was nowhere around to see him eat it. John had gone out onto one of the many obscure balconies where he felt assured he could indulge in secrecy. John came to the conclusion that he really needed to find out who Carl's spies were and have a little chat with them.

As the Colonel finished his fifty push-ups he lay prone on the mat with his arms out to the side and his head turned so he could see Carl's feet at the end of the bed hands tucking in the clean sheets and blankets. Panting slowly he allowed his body to recover from his recent punishment; his arm and shoulder muscles ached just a little. His hair was plastered to his head from the sweat. Realization shocked his muddled mind at the 'morning' comment; he lifted his head and glared at the clock on his nightstand. "Oh crap! Carl would you hand me my comm or would you contact Elizabeth and let her know that I won't be seeing her this morning. It's already a quarter till seven and we're not done. I'm not showered …I still have…ah hell." The Colonel rested his head back on the mat and closed his eyes for a moment. It just wasn't his day.

"I'll contact Dr. Weir for you. Now you have one hundred sit-ups to do before you can shower and get dressed. I suggest you get started." Carl announced as he walked into the living space to inform Dr. Weir.

The Colonel rolled over onto his back and sat up. He untangled his legs as they splayed out in front of him. He scooted himself back a few more inches towards the top of the mat. As he did so, the sewn straps appeared from under his calves. Carl had had the engineers make a heavy-wooden frame shortly after arriving on Atlantis, but found that to be to cumbersome. And because he didn't want to have to sit on the Colonel's legs to keep them in the correct position, Carl attached two straps to the mat. All the Colonel had to do was slip his feet under the straps. Once his feet were in the soft restraints, knees bent he took a length of Velcro that was attached to the side of the mat and wrapped it around his knees to keep them together. This allowed the Colonel to be able to start doing his sit-ups independently.

He had just started when Carl walked back into the room. "Thirty-eight, thirty-nine, forty…" The Colonel said out loud as he kept counting higher and higher.

"Nice try Colonel, how about, seven…eight…nine…ten…eleven…twelve…" Carl continued to count silently now and the Colonel kept at his sit-ups.

"Can you blame me for trying? Hey…what did Elizabeth say?" The Colonel grunted out in between each sit-up keeping a steady rhythm going.

"She said you have the day off. She also wants you to get some rest." Carl made his way to the corner of the newly made bed and sat down, still counting silently to himself.

"You know Carl…you work for me. It would be nice…just once…if you kept your…mouth shut…about certain things." The Colonel groaned out in between sit-ups.

"Actually Colonel I work for Dr. Beckett and indirectly for you. And as for Dr. Weir we all work for her I surmise. In either case it doesn't matter who works for whom I've always been an honest person and I don't think I should start lying now. She asked how you were this morning and I truthfully told her that you had not slept much and seemed tired. I thought it was quite generous of her to allow you the day off."

"Day off is great...but it will…only lead me to…think more…about last night. How…am I going… to get rest…if I can't stop…thinking…about McKay's… idea? That's what…caused my…no rest from…last night…in the first…place." The Colonel was breathing pretty hard now as he was getting to the three-quarter mark of his one hundred sit-ups. Talking, breathing and sit-ups was proving a tough combination to try right now; just as it had been with his pull-ups.

"Twenty-eight more Colonel. After you shower, we will get breakfast and ask Dr. McKay to give us his data files and we can go over them together. Talk out your concerns, ask questions. At some point today you will need to rest. Whether you do that this morning after breakfast or this afternoon that is up to you. I'm no scientist, but I do know medicine and can help you through some of those concerns. Psychologically speaking I can help there too. I'm not going to force you, I know better then to try that, but I think if you talk about what bothers you, it will help you in the long run." Carl stated firmly.

Although Carl is a doctor of physical medicine he also has a degree in psychology. When he first arrived on Atlantis he found out it was mandatory for all base personnel to have at least one consultation with the base psychologist every six months. Carl was intrigued to discover that Colonel Sheppard had somehow managed not to comply with this mission directive over the past five years. Two weeks after Carl arrived he introduced himself to Kate Heightmeyer offering to work in tandem. When he asked about the directive and Colonel Sheppard in particular, Kate pulled up the Colonel's file handing it over with a broad smile on her face. As Carl reviewed the open file on the PC tablet he saw that it contained the Colonel's 'vital statistics': name, DOB, marital status, relatives: alive and deceased, rank, previous duty posts and current assignment was all that could be read. Kate had made a few notes of things that had happened to the Colonel since their arrival in the Pegasus Galaxy but it was mostly for her reference. There were no session notes. Between the two psychologists they agreed that Carl would take on the challenge of Colonel Sheppard. As he did with Dr. Beckett he did for Dr. Heightmeyer and relayed information to her via his computer tablet about the Colonel's mental attitude and wellness. Over the past two years Kate had received a wealth of information on the allusive Colonel.

The Colonel finished his sit-ups and had taken the Velcro strap off and removed his feet from the straps on the mat and was lying there on his back, eyes closed, listening to everything Carl had said. It all made perfect sense. Carl was usually right about these things: review, ask, talk. Review the data, ask questions and talk out your fears. John was just never big on the talking aspect of things. He didn't like to reveal too much of himself; it was a personal thing with him. If he only knew what his 'true fear' actually was maybe he could get past the feeling of doom he had deep inside ever since last night's little impromptu meeting. Was it the prospect of walking again that scared him? Was it the possibility of getting hurt again? Was it the use of the Replicator cell? Or could it be that he didn't have the strength inside himself to try.

oOo

The Colonel was in the shower while Carl put the pull-up bar and gym mat back in its storage space on the far side of the room. When the water shut off Carl went back into the bathroom and helped the Colonel get into his boxers and jeans. Since the Colonel had the day off, no use putting on a uniform. While the Colonel took care of his daily routine of shaving, brushing, dressing and so forth, Carl headed off to his room to shower and dress for the day as well.

The Colonel and Carl had eaten breakfast and now returned to their room. The Colonel was deciding whether to rest first or go over the data he had picked up from McKay. Both were important. The Colonel finally decided on a nap first. The thought of almost falling asleep in his oatmeal at breakfast had been the deciding factor. After his nap he would be more clear headed and receptive to go over the data with Carl.

"Carl I'm going to rest, and then we can go over the data again." The Colonel said aloud. "Oh…I should…" As he was reaching up to tap his comm.

"Dr. Weir has already informed Lt. Col. Lorne. You need not bother." Carl interrupted him before he could contact the Lt. Colonel. "She did that first thing this morning." He added as an afterthought.

The Colonel gazed at Carl with an air of mystery. It boggled his mind at how Carl somehow knew what he was going to do or sometimes what he was going to say. After two years Carl could still surprise him. "Did you pick up mind reading or physic abilities along with those eight degrees you told me about?" John was almost certain he had and just failed to mention it.

Carl offered no response. The Colonel took his silence to mean he was on to something. He nodded and without another word he headed to his room to lie down for a while.

Carl acknowledged the nod and headed for his room taking Dr. McKay's data disc with him. While the Colonel rested, he went over the data to gain a better understanding of the process. He had to stop several times and radio Dr. McKay to explain certain sections further. Carl reviewed the data more then once and knew the information forwards and backwards to a certain degree. He was a doctor not a physicist after-all.

oOo

Dr. McKay had thought once the Colonel heard the good news about walking again he would jump at the opportunity, so to speak. Having gotten to know him over the past five years, he knew the Colonel as an active man, always on the move. Even these past two years in a wheelchair had not slowed him down any. From where Rodney stood he could make out subtle changes. McKay had gone so far as thinking that a Wraith attack would not have prevented the Colonel from saying yes. At first he was taken aback by the lack of enthusiasm, the calculating manner in which Sheppard approached his proposal. Sitting there intently listening and on occasion uttering a question here or there. It just wasn't what he expected from the Colonel when he told him he could walk again. As he reasoned with himself he came to realize that he too would be cautious and forgave the Colonel for doing the same.

But now the 'what ifs' started to pop into McKay's mind again. What if it didn't work? How would he feel getting his hopes up, just to have them crash down on him again? What if he only got back the feeling of his lower body and was still not able to walk. What if he missed a sequence? What if his body rejected the Replicator Block? What if, what if? They hounded his every waking hour. Was this really for Sheppard, or was it more for himself since he felt responsible; not for the accident, that could have happened to anyone of them that day on the ridge, but for being a genius and not being able to figure out a solution two years ago.

When the two men asked for his research data at breakfast he happily agreed to turn over the information. He even volunteered to be available to answer questions at a moments notice. And when had anyone ever seen Dr. Rodney McKay, certified genius, volunteer for anything? McKay hoped that if Sheppard went through the data again he would have the same feeling as he did. The feeling that this would work, regardless of the seventy percent chance he and Carson so blatantly offered.

He knew that Sheppard having to be in a wheelchair was killing him, slowly killing him. Not the physical death kind of killing him, where the body dies, but more like the emotional kind of death when the spirit dies. Although Sheppard would deny any mention of the fact if asked, McKay had picked up on the subtle looks that Sheppard gave, unknowingly, such as when a team was sent out to explore. He knew that Sheppard longed to be going off world and each day the sparkle of exploration that had been in his eye before the accident had slowly faded. That spark for the search of the unknown was almost gone. McKay so much wanted that spark back. It was this drive, this focus, to continue his research, failure after failure, over the past two years that had kept him going.

The only time McKay could see that the Colonel had any spark left at all was when he was flying. The simple act of taking a jumper, no, not just any jumper, but Jumper One out and soar above the clouds, streak across the horizon, head out into the dark, crystal clear cold blue of space. Yes, this was the only time, rare as it was, that the Colonel felt alive and the spark inside ignited just a little bit brighter. McKay hoped that he would never see that spark, that sparkle in his eye go out. If it did, it would mean the man who had befriended him was gone and that he had failed.

oOo

The Colonel woke around 13:00 hours feeling rested and real hungry. His stomach was on the same wave length as his brain when it growled its unpleasant emptiness. His second order of business after getting out of bed would be to get something to eat. Then he and Carl could settle down and go over McKay's data. As he came out of the bathroom, heading for the living space, he welcomed the aroma of food. Carl had heard him stir and slipped out and brought back food for them both. Athosian stew, some bread, jello and some water was waiting for him on his desk as he came further into the living space.

"Smells good." The Colonel commented as he came to stop in front of his desk. Carl was seated in one of the lounge chairs using the coffee table to support his lunch tray.

"I thought you might be hungry when you woke up, as you didn't really eat a lot for breakfast." Carl replied picking up the bowl of stew he had begun eating.

"I know. Thanks by the way." John mumbled as he took his first bite of the Athosian stew. This was one of his favorites right next to a good turkey sandwich. "Where's McKay's data?" The Colonel asked in general conversation.

"It's in my room. I was reviewing it while you slept. I wanted to try and understand it better. I can go get it…" Carl began to rise and was cut off by a wave of the Colonel's fork.

"Eat first, science later." The Colonel exclaimed waving a fork in Carl's direction.

After the Colonel and Carl finished eating, Carl set the trays and empty dishes aside. Returning from his bedroom with McKay's data the pair made themselves comfortable and started reviewing the data which could possibly give John back his dormant legs.

The Colonel reached for the 'pause' button and stopped the flow of information from scrolling across the screen. It had been forty-five minutes of solid information. "The Replicator Block that McKay wants to use is also a nanite correct?" The Colonel asked Carl for his understanding of the block.

"That is correct Colonel. Only larger."

"If it is inert, how will it work? I mean the Anti Replicator Field pretty much turned the Asurans into dust." The Colonel was studying the paused screen before him. On the screen was a replica of the Replicator Block magnified fifty times from its original size.

Seeing confusion waft across the Colonel's face Carl began explaining to the best of his ability as to what had taken place during Dr. McKay's research. "Dr. McKay has written a special program to re-activate the single nanite block. The sole purpose of the block will be to fuse with your spinal cord and re-establish a neural link between your brain and your legs. See these fine wires on each end?" Carl pointed to the frozen screen and pointed them out. "Dr. Beckett will fuse them to each end of your severed spinal cord. Once fused, the program will be initiated and the Replicator Block nanite will self replicate to completely encompass your spinal cord effecting the necessary repairs. The electrical impulses sent from your brain to your legs will pass through the Block's repairs and the corresponding messages will be interpreted by your muscles and tissues to perform the tasks or actions you require."

"See here's the thing…replicate. Once they activate it, you said it will self-replicate to completely fill in and encompass the severed part of my spine. What's going to stop it from continuing to replicate and take me over like they tried to do with Dr. Weir?" The Colonel turned a concerned look to Carl. Was this his biggest fear about this whole process? A Replicator, replicates. That is its purpose. He had seen millions of them in Elizabeth when Niam infected her. He had even felt them on a sub-conscious level when Oberoth put his hand into his forehead. How could he, Rodney or anyone else keep it from taking him over eventually?

"That might be a better question to be asked and answered by Dr. McKay. But from what I've learned, the program he wrote into the Replicator Block is strictly for this purpose. Its base code will have no other data telling it to do anything other than repair the spinal cord. Like other Replicator nanites, say those of the Asuran's, their nanites are programmed to survive, repair damage and self replicate when required. No such program will be installed in this one. It has only one purpose and that is to repair your spinal damage and relay brain synopsis's." Explaining the technical side of the nanite was way out of his comfort zone, but Carl had talked to Dr. McKay earlier anticipating this might be a concern of the Colonel's.

The Colonel gave an understanding nod and pressed 'play' on the laptop to continue the program details that McKay had worked so hard on. Time passed quickly and it was getting close to dinner time when the program ended. The Colonel finally closed the laptop. Carl and he had stopped it several more times during the afternoon to ask and answer questions that came up in the data. The Colonel felt more at ease and talking out his concerns and worries with Carl went a long way to obtaining the ease he now felt.

Colonel Sheppard still had a few questions to ask Rodney and Carson but that could wait for another time. It was approaching dinner time and afterwards he had a sparring lesson with Teyla. He had been pretty much locked up in his room all day, just he and Carl. Other than at breakfast he had not seen or talked to anyone else all day. This meant that his Second in Command, Lt. Col. Lorne, had taken care of the military and Dr. Weir had taken care of the civilians since his radio had been silent all day. The Colonel was missing the contact of his friends; the banter and snarking he was accustomed too on a daily basis; the half sometimes lazy salutes he got from his Marines in passing and the interruptions from the scientists wanting him to come activate another Ancient doodad. It had all become a part of his new life after the accident. And after only one day, he missed it.

oOo

John rolled into the practice room with his gym bag on his lap and his bantos sticks sticking out one end. He couldn't wait to get some practice in as it would also release some of the stored up anxiety he had inside. "Teyla, do you think you could teach me how to defend myself from two attackers at the same time?" He asked with a little more lift in his voice while setting his bag down on the window bench.

Since Carl had re-introduced him to Katas, Teyla and Ronon had worked him pretty hard and now he could block any attack from in front as well as from behind. But so far it was Teyla, Ronon or Carl on some occasions that attacked him one-on-one in practice. He knew the enemy would not attack one at a time and he was a liability. He felt he needed to know how to defend multiple attackers.

Teyla gave this some thought before she replied. She knew that the Colonel was up to this challenge and it made perfect sense to progress to the next level of difficulty in his training. With a smile on her face she replied, "of course Col…John, I think that is a very good idea."

Reaching in his bag that he had sat down on the window bench, he took out his bantos sticks and rolled his wheelchair into the center of the mat where they practiced. Ronon entered and made his way to the window bench to sit and watch Teyla beat up on his friend until it was his turn. Teyla was strong, firm and hard on the Colonel, but not nearly has aggressive as Ronon could be. And at times, John needed Ronon's aggressiveness.

"Ronon, John wishes to learn how to defend against two attackers. Will you assist us?" Teyla asked with a smile.

Ronon wasn't about to give up a chance to take on Sheppard. One-on-one Sheppard held his own, but as yet could not best him or Teyla. "This should be fun." Ronon said with an evil undertone in his voice and a slight gleam in his eyes as he got up and grabbed a pair of bantos sticks to use and walked out onto the mat.

John caught the devilish look his Satedan friend gave him. John thought he had better remind him that this was just for practice. "You do know that I am learning here… don't you? If I get hurt, it will be you who has to explain to Beckett and Carl why I look the way I do. Understand?"

"Better block then." Ronon replied, not wanting to incur the wrath of either Doctor. But nonetheless he understood completely.

Teyla could not help but smile at the exchange of words between her two friends. She knew John was teasing, as well as Ronon and in the end she would not let any harm come to John. "Let us begin then. To fight two opponents at once, you must be aware of your surroundings, to listen carefully to know their position when you cannot see them. Anticipate where your enemy might strike from. Your first lesson John will be to pinpoint where Ronon and I are at all times."

"That should be easy enough." John quipped out softly but then noticed Teyla was approaching with a dark cloth in her hands.

"This will help your concentration." Teyla tied the cloth around John's eyes. "You will use your military directions as to our location around you. Are you ready to begin?"

"Are you sure this is the first lesson? Seems a bit advanced for a beginner." John acknowledged as he sat blinded.

"I am sure. Are you ready to begin?" She asked once again.

The Colonel nodded his compliance and concentrated on his surroundings. He heard the brush of fabric from Teyla's workout skirt, the deep breathing of Ronon, the subtle clack of the bantos sticks striking each other. Sounds that he had not heard or paid any attention to before were loud and clear to him now. Its true, when one sense is taken away, the others compensate.

"Teyla you are at my two o'clock position. Ronon you are at my…six." John stated when he detected no more movement around him.

"Very good. Continue." The Athosian danced around John as did Ronon. The two would-be attackers passed each other as they circled around their would-be prey.

"Ronon is at my eleven and Teyla, you are at five o'clock."

Without saying a word the two would-be attackers continued to move and changed positions various times. Each time there was a pause John called out their positions correctly.

"You have done well John. Now we will use our sticks. Concentrate and block the strike." Teyla instructed him.

John nodded and listened for the sticks to slice the air. If he concentrated hard enough, he could hear the soft whistle the sticks made as they cut through the air approaching their intended target. John knew that Teyla was at his twelve o'clock position and most likely would have a downward thrust. Ronon was at his eight o'clock position and would either swing from the left or the right in a low strike. John heard Ronon go first and used his left hand, to thrust the bantos stick out and back in a low arc to block the strike and at the same time brought his right hand stick up in front of his body just about head high and horizontal to the mat to block Teyla's downward thrust. Each stick made solid contact with those of his attackers.

"Excellent John. Again."

Teyla stalked around the mat, her bare feet gave her presence away on the slick surface of the mat. Funny how he never heard the soft noise her feet made on the mat before now. Teyla was always so lithe and graceful as she moved around the mat. Ronon circled back and forth. At times he just stretched one way and then another without moving his whole body, but John detected that as well. Teyla had stopped at his three o'clock position and swung a low blow heading for his right leg. John quickly put his right stick down to block the swing. Ronon had other plans. He struck from his eleven o'clock position with both sticks, one on a downward swing, the other a sideway motion trying to reach his shoulder. To block both attempts, John let his stick slide through his palm so that he held his left stick in the middle at an angle; the top portion would block the downward stroke, while the back would cut off the attempt at his shoulder.

After an hour of practice they stopped. "Excellent John. That was…incredible." Teyla rejoiced at the success of his first lesson with two attackers, as she removed the blindfold.

John blinked away the bright lights that assaulted his vision as the blindfold was removed. He asked Teyla and Ronon to go a little faster. As good as it felt to block the blows he needed more exertion. Learning in slow motion was great, but he really needed a workout, he needed to sweat and pant, he needed the adrenaline release to expend his pent up anxiety.

Teyla agreed to John's request. She and Ronon moved around faster and struck out with their sticks quicker. John was keeping up, to his amazement, defending against two would-be attackers. The sounds of stick hitting stick echoed through the practice room as well as grunt for grunt from Ronon and John. Teyla very rarely made any sound at all. As practice continued, the moves got harder and the sticks flew faster through the sweat filled air. Teyla ended up striking John's left shoulder since his attention was in defending off Ronon's attack with both sticks on his right. Ronon got a few hits in as well, but nothing so damaging that warranted a trip to the infirmary. As John tired, the strikes to his body became more increasingly on target. Teyla finally called a stop since John had missed Ronon's last strike and had been hit quite soundly on his right wrist.

Panting heavily he placed his sticks on his lap and wheeled over to his gym bag to get out his water bottle. He found it hard to talk, his throat was so dry. A couple of Marines had come in for their lessons with Ronon and Teyla. "Sir that was incredible." Stated Sgt. Jones. His buddy sitting next to him on the window seat nodded in agreement.

After a long drink of water he finally found his voice. "Thank you Sergeant." John turned himself around and faced his attackers. "That was just what I needed." Still panting he added, "thank you both for the lesson," and then bowed slightly.

Ronon gave his customary grunt and nod in appreciation whereas Teyla had a little more etiquette. "You are welcome Colonel. We will practice more in two days time. For your first lesson you were remarkable."

"I have a good teacher." John uttered. He put the cap back on his water bottle and put the sticks inside and placed the bag along with the towel he used to wipe the sweat away. He was sweaty and the release of tension had left him drained to the core. "Thanks again. See you in the morning Ronon. Goodnight. Oh…don't be too hard on my men." John grinned as he wheeled himself out of the practice room and headed for the transporter.

Sergeant Jones stood getting ready for his lesson. "I wish I were that good."

"You will be Sgt. Jones. With practice. Colonel Sheppard has been practicing for quite some years now." Teyla supplied the young Sergeant.

In the background Ronon was already demonstrating moves to his opponent. "Come Sergeant, let us begin." With a nod Sergeant Jones and Teyla walked out onto the mat and began their lesson.

John made it to his room and as usual Carl was waiting. Not just waiting to aid the Colonel with his shower, but to look over the damage that sparring with Teyla and Ronon had been known to produce in the past.

"How was practice tonight Colonel?"

"Great. I asked Teyla to teach me how to defend multiple attackers." The Colonel volunteered. He knew that Carl had already been notified by Teyla or Ronon as to the results of their practice session and where and what to look for in the way of any injury that may have resulted.

After the fifth month of practicing after his accident John had figured it out. There was no way that Carl would know what happened during practice unless he was there or someone told him. He figured it was Teyla, but found out that Ronon also contacted the Doctor and made a report. At first he was mad, angry even, upset with his friends for ratting him out. Then after thinking about it, he was overwhelmed that they cared so much for his welfare that they would do that. So after that, he just let it slide. He would come back to his room, Carl would aid him with his shower and then inspect every redden area on his person. He was used to it now. It was just like when Carl wanted to take his blood pressure, pulse, respiration and temperature, he just gave in. No use fighting it since he lost every single argument or disagreement to the Swiss Doctor.

John rolled into his bedroom, removed his sweaty clothing as much as he could, grabbed a pair of sweats and headed into the bathroom, followed by Carl. After his shower Carl took a look at his left shoulder, right wrist, both legs and made the necessary notes like he always did on his nursing chart. John figured he would sleep well tonight. It had been a most enlightening day off.

oOo

At 05:00 John woke for his run with Ronon. Getting out of bed and into his wheelchair proved a tad bit difficult. His right wrist hurt and the purple bruise was most evident in the predawn light. After going to the bathroom and putting on his sneakers he knocked on Carl's door before he left. John felt bad about waking him up so early, but if he could get Carl to wrap his wrist, to give it support, he could still make his run with Ronon.

Carl took a look at the injured wrist and wrapped it with an Ace bandage on the Colonel's promise that after breakfast he would have Dr. Beckett x-ray it. John agreed and was out the door ten minutes later then usual. He had contacted Ronon while Carl examined his wrist for the second time and told him he would be a few minutes late. By the time John got to the lower hallway Ronon was waiting and with a silent nod the two started their ten mile run. It took the first two miles for John's wrist to stop aching.

After his ten mile run with Ronon, a quick shower, coffee and briefing with Dr. Weir and a bowl of oatmeal John found himself at the mercy of Dr. Beckett. As promised he went to the Scot to have an x-ray taken of his right wrist. John knew it was a deep bruise and nothing more, but Carl had insisted. If John had not promised, Carl would not have wrapped it. And he would not have let him go for a run with Ronon and John needed that exercise so much.

Suffering through the prodding was the tough part. The x-ray was a breeze once the technician made all the necessary adjustments to the machine and placed his wrist in the proper positions. John was doing his best to wait patiently and was failing miserably.

The infirmary was quiet; no patients and there were two nurses, Nellie and Pasha, busily restocking and inventorying supplies. John had a few questions about the pending procedure and now seemed as good a time as any to ask.

"Doc." John said inquiringly to get the attention of the good Doctor. "You got time to answer a few questions?"

"Of course Colonel, what's on your mind?"

"Carl and I went over McKay's data yesterday and I've got a couple questions." John paused to get his train of thought in order. "_If_ I do this, how long would the procedure take?" John made sure to stress the 'if' when he asked.

"Surgery of this nature would probably take up to twelve hours or more. I would guess more since we are essentially incorporating alien technology into your body." Carson surmised.

"How long before I could go back on duty?"

Carson was slower to respond to this inquiry. "Colonel that is a tough one to answer. If I had to say I would tell you that for full duty between ten and twelve months for the average person. Of course, you could be on light duty as early as a month after surgery. It will all depend on how your body reacts to the new information it will be receiving. And Colonel, there still is that thirty percent chance that the procedure won't work at all. I don't mean to drag down yer hopes, but I must be honest with ya."

"I know Doc. I get that. Carl and I did a lot of talking yesterday. I still have a lot of thinking to do and more questions for Rodney. Carl answered pretty much all the questions I had about the actual procedure. I have to tell ya I'm not too thrilled about having alien pig parts installed in me either. Just knowing a replicator block is being used is difficult enough to get my head around. I'm not rushing in to this blind. I'm sure there will be more questions come up. If I decide to go through with this, when could it be done?"

"Well, I would need time to get my surgical team up to speed, we would need to go over the procedure and it would take a day to get all the tests run and back on ya so I would say within three to four days of your decision." Carson concluded looking at the Military Commander.

John was about to say something more when the lab tech, Jayson, came into the room with a large brown envelope. Handing it to Dr. Beckett, Carson pulled out the first x-ray and slid it onto the lighted white board to have a look. He pulled the second one out and slipped in beside the first. Looking between the two black and white images Carson couldn't find any breaks or cracks. "Well Colonel, looks like you were right after all, no breaks or cracks, just a deep bruise. I'll get that wrapped up for you again. I suggest that you keep it wrapped for a few days. Try not to over do it; give it time to heal properly."

"Thanks Doc, for everything." The Colonel offered one of his lopsided grins as Carson wrapped his wrist back up in an Ace bandage.

The Colonel was out of the infirmary five minutes later heading for his office. Since he had not gone in to work yesterday he knew there would be a ton of work that he would need to catch up on. Even though Evan, his Second in Command, could handle all of it there were still some critical matters that John liked to take care of himself.

As he headed down the Atlantis halls towards his office he made a last minute detour to McKay's lab. He had some questions he needed to ask the resident genius who started this whole idea. As he got close, he could hear the tell-tale rant of McKay. Someone must have done something really bad for McKay to be this wound up this early in the day. Usually it took McKay until at least 11am to start yelling at his minions. It was just after nine. John figured he could save whatever poor scientist it was from any further degrading by distracting McKay. John had a soft spot for geeks and he knew he could pull Rodney away for a little while to answer his questions.

TBC

2/14


	3. Chapter 3

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** I am NOT in the medical, military or science professions so what you read is just 'winging it'. Hope it all sounds plausible. Also in my stories there will always be Dr. Weir and Dr. Beckett.

This is the fourth story I've written dealing with Colonel Sheppard's disability. Preceding order: Three for the Price of Two, Conquering Adversities, Unexpected Surprises.

The story was beta read and any remaining errors are my own. Enjoy.

Life Altering

By Kwillads

Chapter 3

John entered the lab to see Rodney red faced, shaking and still shouting at the top of his lungs at two of his fellow scientists. Rodney stomped back and forth in front of them. His hands were waving wildly in the air orchestrating each of his words to a finer point. The two scientists stood to the side of McKay's workbench, hands down at their sides in a non-confronting manner, eyes glazed somewhat downward with very little expression left on their faces.

"…never! Do you understand me? I will have you cataloging dirt samples for your remaining stay here on Atlantis if you ever do anything like that again. You have become way too careless. We are working with Ancient tech here people. This stuff is over ten thousand years old and any one of those devices could have blown up. I will …" Dr. McKay caught the glace of one of his scientists and turned to see Colonel Sheppard entering his lab. It made him lose his train of thought. Turning back to his two scientists he quickly uttered, "…leave! I have more important matters to occupy my time. Go!" Waving he gestured with a hand in the direction of the door to get out when they didn't take the first hint.

The two scientists gave the Colonel a 'thanks for the rescue' nod as they passed him scurrying out of the lab as fast as their feet could carry them. The Colonel smiled back as they left. When Rodney was in the mood he could rant all day long and never get tired. The Colonel found that to be one of the many charms that made up Dr. Rodney McKay PhD. He wouldn't have it any other way. At least John felt he had saved the two scientists. That was something.

"Rodney do you have time to answer some questions? I know you said you have 'more important matters…' but I was hoping you and I could talk for a little while." John wasn't so sure if this was a good time or not. Rodney's face was still red and he had slumped down over his workbench. Every now and then John caught what looked like a shiver racing across Rodney's slumped form.

When John didn't get a sarcastic remark back he took a closer look at Rodney. John discovered it was full out trembling, not a shiver. '_Oh shit!'_ He thought as he rolled over to Rodney's desk and started searching frantically through the drawers looking for Rodney's stash of power bars that he knew were kept close for emergencies. At seeing Rodney's trembling, John knew this was a hypoglycemic emergency. After John had asked McKay to be on his team, Beckett wasted no time in telling the Major about McKay's health issues. Since then John kept two epi-pens in his vest and extra power bars just in case. And over time, so had Teyla. Then when Ronon joined the team so had he. But right now he didn't have his vest nor power bars. Pulling the bottom right hand drawer open last, he saw the treasure. Leave it to Rodney to have a stash of chocolate chip power bars. Taking two of them out he rolled over to Rodney and quickly un-wrapped the first one and showed it into McKay's quivering hand.

"Eat!" John insisted, using his commanding military voice in that tone that Rodney had always teased him would not even scare a kindergartner into action.

Rodney had yet to put hand to mouth and take a bite. "Come on McKay, take a bite. It's your favorite, chocolate chip." John tried again to get Rodney to bite. "Damn it McKay, do I need to call Beckett down here and have him bring the large needles? Now come on, take a bite." John nudged his arm for good measure.

Getting no reaction from the sweating, trembling Physicist regarding his threat, John broke off a piece of the power bar and managed to get it into Rodney's mouth. John waited a moment to see if the small bite would dissolve and start to increase Rodney's blood sugar. A moment later he could see Rodney chewing and swallowing. John broke off another piece and forced it between his lips. By the third or fourth piece Rodney was taking his own bites from the bar. John un-wrapped the second bar when the first was gone and slid it into McKay's hand.

"Hey, you okay now? Should I call Beckett?" John asked his friend. The tremors had pretty much stopped after the first power bar had found its way to his stomach to be digested. Yet Rodney still had not said anything.

"No." Came a whisper from Rodney.

John was confused, "no you're not okay, or no you don't want me to call Beckett?" Asking for clarity.

"No I don't need Beckett and yes I will be okay, just give me a few minutes." Rodney managed a whole sentence in and around chewing up the last of the second power bar. He was still slumped over his workbench, his head low enough to almost rest on the workbench surface.

John sat and watched him carefully as the last few bites made it into Rodney's mouth. The red face he had seen earlier was now gone, the tremors had stopped, the glassy eyes were gone from what he could tell what with Rodney slumped over the bench like he was.

"When did you eat last Rodney? You were not in the mess hall this morning like you usually are."

"I haven't had time for breakfast yet. I got an early call that Lab 3 was in lock down with two scientists trapped inside. Once I got them out and found out what they had been doing we came up here so I could yell at them in private." Rodney recounted his early morning wake up call to the Colonel.

"Okay, come on buddy, let's get you some breakfast and while you eat maybe you can answer some questions for me in between bites. What do you say?" John asked, still concerned as Rodney still didn't seem quite recovered.

"Sounds good. Hey do you think they will have any chocolate chip muffins left? It is just my luck that I had two idiots in lockdown on chocolate chip muffin day." Tuesday's were known to be chocolate chip muffin day and Rodney was usually one of the first in the mess hall to make sure he got at least one if not two or three.

With Rodney it was always something to do with chocolate. "I don't know, but let's go find out." John nudged Rodney off his stool and the pair made their way to the mess hall. For Rodney it would be a late breakfast, for the Colonel it would be a third cup of coffee.

"What's wrong with your wrist?" A concerned McKay asked as he noticed the bandaged appendage.

"Ronon got in a lucky strike during sparring last night. Beckett x-rayed it and it's just a deep bruise. It'll be okay in a few days."

"I don't know why you put your body through that kind of pain and torture. Were you dropped on your head as a child? Don't answer that it's the only plausible explanation. Has to be."

"It's not torture McKay, its called exercise. And it wouldn't hurt you to try it some time you know."

"I get enough exercise running for my life on missions. I certainly don't need Conan and Xena beating me up when we get home." McKay said matter-of-factly.

oOo

When Rose Highland saw the pair entering her mess hall she retrieved the set aside chocolate muffin the Colonel had asked her to save when he had come for coffee at seven am. They were fresh baked, the aroma filled the mess hall, and the Colonel thought of McKay right away.

Dr. McKay grabbed a tray and started filling it with food. The Colonel placed his tray on his lap and poured himself a cup of coffee. Rodney was already taking a seat when Rose handed him the chocolate muffin. "Thanks Rose I owe you."

"My pleasure Colonel and I will be collecting on my IOU. You can be sure of that." Rose smiled and gave the Colonel a wink sending him on his way.

The Colonel joined McKay at the table and for the first few minutes Rodney was oblivious to the fact he had anyone sitting at the table with him. He was too busy shoveling food into his mouth to notice. John cleared his throat to announce that he was there and took a sip of his coffee waiting for Rodney to acknowledge him.

"What did you want to ask me?" Rodney's muffled voice managed to ask around a mouthful of pancakes and syrup.

"I need to know more about this Replicator Block thingy. I'm not excited about having any type of a Replicator inside me. Hell I didn't even know we had any of those blocks still on Atlantis." John stated flatly and sternly. The issue of a replicator part inside him was hard to get past, harder than alien pig parts. Every nerve in his body said this was wrong. He took another sip of his coffee trying to calm his now churning stomach. Maybe coffee wasn't such a good thing after all, he should have grabbed water.

"Ask away." McKay said flipping his fork in the air sending syrup splattering on the table top.

John leaned over the table as he spoke. He didn't need the whole mess hall knowing what he and McKay were talking about. "Okay, I guess I need to know how sure are you that this Replicator Block or nanite cell whatever you want to call it, will not start replicating once it gets inside me. I mean, is it a sure thing, or do I have a fifty-fifty chance. I remember how hard Elizabeth had to fight, I'm not sure I want to go through that same kind of thing."

"First off the RB was inert, dead, non-functioning and totally blank. It's like…a brand new computer disc just waiting to be formatted and have information stored on it. I'm only using it because it already has the intricate circuitry that will allow a neural signal to pass through it. I've written the base code from the ground up. You know…ones and zeros type of thing. It's nothing like the base code of the Asurans, totally unique and the program, when initiated, will give it only one purpose, to repair your spinal cord damage. That's all it will be programmed to do. If it needs to replicate in order to repair the damage done to your spine then it will, but then it will stop. It will not have any programming to the contrary. Say you let Conan crack your rib during your so called 'exercise'; the RB inside you would not care. It would totally ignore your cracked rib as its only concern is with your spinal cord." Rodney explained.

"What if someone re-writes your program? What then?" John asked.

"I doubt that anyone, even Zelenka could override my program let alone understand it." Rodney said with an arrogant lilt in his voice. Looking across the table at the Colonel, Rodney realized that John was not as amused as he was. "Look Colonel, if it makes you feel any better you can add your own security password to the program one that only you know. That way you will have to enter your password before any changes to the program could occur." Rodney offered as an assurance to his friend

The Colonel gave that some thought and figured that would be good enough. If he had total control over the program, then no one could make any changes, not even Rodney. His churning stomach began to ease a little knowing he would have some control. "What would happen if I got hit by an EM pulse or one of the ARG's by accident? Wouldn't that render the block inert again? I wouldn't be able to walk, would I, if that happened? Not that I want a repeat of either of those events, but it could happen. What happens then Rodney? Does this block come with a guarantee, one hundred percent satisfaction or your money back, where if it doesn't work I get to toss you off the nearest balcony?" The Colonel asked in jest, although he was quite serious about the EM pulse and Anti-Replicator gun.

Now it was Rodney's turn. He had some serious thinking to do. He hated to admit it, but the Colonel was right. If he got hit by an EM pulse wave or an ARG it would render the block inert again. The Colonel would lose his ability to walk just as if someone cut the puppet strings.

Rodney's fork stilled holding a link sausage half way to his mouth as he processed the question. His mouth partly open waiting for the spicy meaty bite. John knew that he had hit on something that McKay had not thought about. "Rodney? Rodney!" The Colonel was getting a little impatient waiting for a response. John could see the gears in that massive brain already working on a solution turning behind Rodney's eyes.

"I need to think. Give me a minute." Rodney snapped back. _What kind of a genius are you? _He thought. He was sure he went over every detail, every nuance, and every angle before offering this to his friend and now his friend asks about EM and ARG's. _How could I have been so stupid to not think of this?_ He berated himself.

John finished his coffee, which was pretty cold by now anyway. He was about to say something…

"Another minute." Rodney snapped.

So John impatiently sat and waited on Rodney to answer his question.

Looking up at the Colonel, Rodney started saying, "I might be able to put a shield around it to protect it from such circumstances."

"Might?" John said. "That's your idea!"

"Give me some time." Snarked Rodney.

"How much time?" John shot back a bit harshly.

"Don't start that with me! I will figure this out like I always do." Rodney retorted and quickly changed the subject. "Hey, you going to eat that?" Rodney pointed at the chocolate chip muffin sitting on the Colonel's tray untouched.

"No, I had Rose save this for you." John quietly whispered.

Rodney's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree as he snatched the muffin from the Colonel's tray. "Why?"

"Why what?" John asked back looking a little lost in the conversation.

"Why did you have Rose save me a muffin?"

"I thought you liked chocolate chip muffins." John replied.

"I do, but that still doesn't answer my question as to why you did this."

"When I came in to get coffee at seven this morning Rose was just taking them out of the oven. I knew you liked them, but so does half the population of Atlantis. I knew by the time you got here for breakfast at eight they would most likely be gone. So I had Rose save one for you. That's all." The Colonel rattled on with military precision.

"Colonel I will figure this out. Trust me." Rodney said quietly already half way through his chocolate muffin.

"I do Rodney, with my life." The Colonel stated matter-of-factly. He knew that Rodney would find a solution.

The two men parted company at the mess hall doors. John headed off to his office and Rodney off to his lab to solve a problem with one last parting thought. "Hey, you wouldn't really throw me off a balcony…would you?"

The Colonel stopped his forward momentum and turned his wheelchair around to face Rodney who was still standing just outside the mess hall doors with a perplexed look on his face. With a grin on Sheppard's face John raised one eyebrow up and turned himself back around. As if saying 'I did once before. What do you think?'. If Rodney interpreted the look correctly, and he was sure he had, he had better find another Ancient personal shield. And fast.

oOo

The Colonel closed down another report after he read the details of Capt. Cadman's latest mission. A planet that was, according to the database, uninhabited and lush with vegetation, suitable for a Beta site had been nothing but desolate wasteland when the gate team arrived. To his recollection that was the third planet he had read about in the past few months that once had been thriving, but turned out to be wasteland. The probe showed as much around the gate but the Colonel authorized a science team to check it out further. Hoping to come up with a cause of what might be happening. Their main objective was to determine how these planets were destroyed. To determine if it was caused by a natural occurring phenomenon, cosmic phenomenon or man made. So far in each of the three reports it appeared to be natural causes. Further testing was needed to determine if the planets had been this way for thousands of years or if this was a more recent event in the planets lifespan. The only problem was there were no plants to test. Just soil and the geologists were coming up empty. The astrologer assigned to the science team that was investigating these worlds was also coming up empty handed. No spacial anomalies could be detected that would cause this sort of planet wide destruction.

John rubbed his tired eyes before accessing the next file on his list of things to do. Lorne had sent him the current requisitions that needed his authorization stamp before it was incorporated into the next data burst. As he slowly perused the list he noticed there was even a larger increase in shower gels and liquid soaps from last time. He had to chuckle at that, noticing that the biggest percent of the increase was still coming from his Marines. "I'll be damned."

oOo

Several weeks had passed. The current day was much like the one before. Everybody went to work, did their jobs, ate, slept and the routine would start all over again the next day. Except John was having trouble with his routine. In the beginning he had adjusted to the routine well; run, eat, work, physical training, sleep; all from a wheelchair. For two years this schedule fit his current needs and physical condition. It kept him active, healthy and he was given back some of his independence with the lifts in his quarters and new armless wheelchair. Having Carl around was a Godsend. Now he had been offered hope of walking again. And every morning since learning of the possibility of walking, he loathed having to sit in his wheelchair. He didn't know why. The wheelchair had given him his freedom and independence back to a certain degree. But his chair was becoming uncomfortable now. John was more on edge. He now felt people were staring at him, at him in a wheelchair. At least that's what he thought. Although he knew it wasn't true. Everyone on Atlantis and even the new replacements eventually stopped staring after a few days. He knew in his mind he was over reacting to the glances. Carl had showed him what he could still do with his limited mobility. Up until Carl arrived all John thought about was what he no longer could do. John found himself wondering what it would be like to walk again. He knew he was overreacting to what he perceived people were thinking. To be able to do all the things he used to; skateboarding, golf, fly helicopters and surf standing up. But reality always seemed to snap him back to the present. It had been a rough few weeks to say the least.

Colonel Sheppard found himself snapping at his XO one minute and apologizing to him the next. Not only did Lorne get snapped at, but also Rodney, Teyla and Ronon. Elizabeth took the brunt of his anger one morning too. And poor Carl. He really got the worst of it. Exercise nights had become a struggle. He was letting little stuff get to him for no reason. Deep down he knew his people and friends knew their jobs and responsibilities forwards and backwards. And yet he found himself getting angry over trivial stuff. Like when the armory Sergeant didn't produce the latest inventory statistics. Col. Lorne had been in his office when the shouting had started. Several Marines passing by the armory at the time rushed into his office to report the incident. Before leaving his office to see to his commanding officers needs, Lorne picked up the data tablet he was working on and rushed down the hall towards the armory. The sight before him was astounding. Colonel Sheppard was red faced and yelling. Sergeant Chu was at attention. The hallway mostly deserted except for a few brave looky-lou's at which seeing Lt. Col. Lorne they all ducked back out of view.

Interrupting his commanding officer, Lorne held out the data tablet. "Here Sir. The information you requested. My apologies for not getting it to you sooner. I was reviewing it for further considerations."

Sheppard took the tablet and saw that it contained the latest armory inventory. Sergeant Chu had finished it late last night according to the signature stamp coding. Colonel Sheppard was wishing for a wraith attack right about now. He had done it again. Now would be the perfect time for Atlantis to open up the floor underneath him and swallow him whole. He hadn't allowed Chu to explain and just assumed it had not been completed. This was not like him. Not like him at all. Anger was best dished out for the enemy, not his people. He had the best people working for him in two galaxies. Swallowing hard he looked up from the data tablet to Sergeant Chu still standing at attention and apologized profusely. He had been doing that a lot lately so he was getting good at it.

Colonel Sheppard handed the data tablet back to Col. Lorne, excused himself and headed down the quiet deserted hallway.

Fifteen minutes later Lorne entered his office to find his CO sitting there staring at the white boards but not really seeing it. As the door swished shut behind him he asked, "is everything all right Sir?" Continuing to his desk to take a seat. "I'm sorry about the…"

Sheppard held up his hand to forestall any further apology from his second in command. It was _he_ who needed to apologize.

Colonel Sheppard sat in Lorne's office and the two officers made idle conversation. Sheppard needed a place where he could be out of sight of his men and cool off for a time. He wasn't quite sure why he kept snapping at people only to have to apologize minutes later. He knew it had something to do with the opportunity he was presented with. Each morning he woke to see his wheelchair waiting for him like a long lost family pet. He was getting sick of it. As the conversation went on John apologized …again…for his outburst and appreciated everything that Lorne did to keep this base running smoothly.

oOo

The Colonel sent teams out to investigate new planets; to make contact in hopes of finding allies against the Wraith. He sent teams out to their current trading partners to trade for much needed food supplies. He himself shuttled teams to the mainland for one reason or another. He was still getting reports on planets that had been raped. The news was unsettling to him and he kept track of the number of worlds that had been decimated. The count was now up to five. The Pegasus Galaxy had thousands and thousands of planets if not millions and the Ancient database listed only two-thirds of them as being habitable. In the five years the expedition had been here they had only visited and mapped a minute portion of those planets. In the back of his mind this was not a cosmic occurrence or a natural occurrence. Five planets in two months. The odds of it being a natural phenomenon was one in a million, he should know, he did the math. His bet was on man-made.

His teams gathered intelligence on the Genii and Michael when the opportunity presented itself. The Colonel still had mistrust for Ladon no matter what alliance they had formed. Col. Ellis stopped by with the Apollo once in a while to keep him informed on the status of the Asuran home world. The last thing he needed right now was another attempted take over of Atlantis from the Replicators.

Everyday was like the last. Nothing changed except for his contempt for his current situation in life.

Rodney still had not come up with a solution to safeguard the implant from EM pulses or any of the Anti-Replicator weapon technology. It was reported to the Colonel that McKay hardly left his lab and was more than just mean to his staff. John had his own dark side to control as evidenced by his bouts of anger and swift apologies. But lately he even had noticed McKay had been more cantankerous even for his souped up ego. John followed up on this report personally. He had watched the Physicist working late several nights in a row and finally put his foot down, so to speak, on the third day and made it an order that he go and get some sleep. As much as John wanted Rodney to find a solution, he also didn't want to see his friend working this hard that he would sacrifice his wellbeing. Rodney tried to protest against the 'order' thing, being that he was a civilian and not in the military, but the Colonel would not stand for it and had called in two Marines to kindly escort the tired Doctor to his quarters with orders to stand guard outside his quarters until morning. Zero eight hundred to be exact.

Col. Caldwell and the Daedalus arrived a couple days later, bringing fresh supplies and new personnel. Training new Marines in the ways of the Pegasus Galaxy gave John something to look forward too. However this time the way he had been acting lately he would leave that up to Lorne and Ronon. No sense pissing them off before he had a chance to win them over. The Atlantis Marines tasked to off-loading the ships stores always did it in record time but that was nothing unusual anymore. John met with Col. Caldwell and Elizabeth for their hour work session to catch up on news from Earth. Colonel Sheppard reported on two other planets that may hold answers to Michael and his superbugs. He asked Caldwell if he had time this trip to check them out. The Daedalus commander openly obliged and offered his services to follow up on any leads. His crew could use the added experience. The Colonel also advised the Daedalus commander about the five planets that they had visited and found to be wastelands. The scientists working on the problem were no further along in finding out what was happening to those worlds.

Col. Caldwell thought it would take at least two days maybe three to investigate the two planets that were on the far side of the galaxy. It was also that time of the month for the senior staff meeting. John tried to get Elizabeth to hold off until the Daedalus returned in case Caldwell had new information, but Elizabeth had her own schedule to keep. John found himself losing the battle.

Two days later in the large conference room all the individual department heads from Agriculture to Zoology gathered for their monthly meeting along with the senior staff. Twenty plus expedition personnel along with military representation were seated around the large table in the center of the room. John had dragged Lt. Col. Lorne to the meeting this time to give the report for the military. Evan sat to the left of Colonel Sheppard who was seated in his usual place at the table, Elizabeth to his right. McKay sat directly across the large conference table from the Colonel and Dr. Beckett sat two seats down on McKay's right. Teyla sat near the exit while Ronon leaned against the wall keeping watch on the large group that had gathered. In and amongst sat the rest of Atlantis's department heads all with reports to give. Some laptops were open and some members were readying to take notes. John suspected some were even completing their reports last minute.

Dr. Weir had a full agenda, and as each department was addressed to report on the status of numerous projects John found himself, on more than one occasion, wondering off in his own mind and not paying attention. He was glad that he had asked Lorne to participate. Midway through the group broke for lunch and at 13:00 hours resumed for the rest of the afternoon.

As the monthly meeting came to a close John had made a decision he needed to share with his closest friends. He had been thinking about this for over a month now and felt the timing was right. Atlantis was running smoothly, the Asurans were being kept at bay by the Apollo; the Daedalus would be headed back to Earth in a couple days. There were no Wraith hive ships approaching. His health was great. Considering all factors he knew he had to do this now. As everyone was filing out of the large room John asked Rodney, Carson, Evan, Teyla, Ronon and Elizabeth to stay behind.

With puzzled looks the small group watched as the last of the department heads cleared the conference room doors, John thought close and sealed the doors. He only needed a few minutes to say what he needed to say. And now that that time was at hand, words began to fail him. John took in a deep breath to settle his nerves and spoke.

"Guys I've made my decision about the surgery. As soon as Col. Caldwell and the Daedalus depart for Earth I want to go ahead with it. Lt. Col. Lorne is more than capable of handling things on the military side and I have full confidence in his abilities. I don't see a need for Caldwell to stick around or to even know about the surgery. I'm hoping with any luck that by the time the Daedalus returns in six or seven weeks I will be walking out to great Col. Caldwell."

John let everyone take a minute to let his decision sink in before he turned to Evan, Teyla and Ronon and explained to them what had been going on for the past month or so.

"Guys, I'm sorry you have been kept out of the loop. About a month or so ago Dr. McKay found a way, seventy percent chance anyway, that I could regain the use of my legs and walk again. I'm going to have the surgery which means I will be down for a time and Evan you will be in charge of the military contingent until Dr. Beckett releases me to light duty which he said should be about a month or so after my surgery."

"Yes Sir. I'll keep your seat warm for you. Walk again? Really, Sir?" The young Lt. Colonel marveled at the thought of seeing his commanding officer walk again.

"Yes Evan, walk. For now I need you guys to keep this just between us. Dr. Epson and those of us here are the only ones who know right now and I would like to keep it that way." The Colonel didn't want all the fuss that he was sure to get once word got out and wanted to keep his surgery under wraps. He was more or less a very private person after all.

"Yes Sir I understand." Evan responded.

"John this is joyous news." Teyla said as she walked closer to the Colonel and offered a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks Teyla, sorry I didn't tell you before. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I had a lot to consider and think about. I hope you can forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive John. I wish you well."

John offered his patented lopsided grin to Teyla and looked over to Ronon. No words needed to be exchanged between the two stoic warriors. John knew the Satedan was happy for him to have this chance.

Rodney finally decided to join in the conversation. "Colonel, you can't. I haven't solved the problem of the EM pulse." He shouted across the room.

Dr. Weir and Dr. Beckett gave a chorus of, "what problem?" The pair looked between the Physicist and the Military Commander for answers. The others looked on as the lack of conversation grew.

John was first to speak up. Not looking at anyone in particular he just threw his thoughts out in the open. "There is no problem. I'll just stay away from situations where an EM or ARG might be needed."

"Stay away? You Colonel I-have-to-be-in-the-middle-of-everything Sheppard stay away? That's like telling you to stay away from Jumper One and not fly. Or tell you to stay in quarantine when there was that nanite situation a while back. It won't happen. I know you. You can't just sit on the sidelines and watch. That's not you. You can't do this Colonel, not yet anyway. I need more time." Rodney ranted; he just needed a little more time.

"'Sit on the sidelines and watch!' What the hell do you think I have been doing these past two years? Huh? Nothing but sitting on the sidelines while you and others go off world. That is 'me' now Rodney. That's all I do now is 'sit on the sidelines'. And how much more time Rodney really? Another day, week, a month? Another two years? You've already been working on this for four weeks now and are no closer to finding a solution by your own admission." John stated rightly so. Had John had use of his legs he would surely have been standing while he delivered his outburst.

Elizabeth reached a hand over and lightly grasped John's wrist in hopes of calming him down. John had always shone restraint. It was not very often that he let his emotions explode in such a way as now. Looking around the room at the other faces Elizabeth realized they too were taken aback at the outburst of emotion. As the room fell quiet for the second time she spoke up.

"Rodney, explain what is going on here. Please." Dr. Weir asked before Rodney had a chance to rebut the Colonel's statement. Her patience was wearing thin. She could also see the same look on Dr. Beckett. She tightened her hold on John's wrist while holding up a forestalling hand in John's direction as he protested.

Rodney let out a sigh and rubbed a hand across his face. "Several weeks ago the Colonel came to me and asked questions about the procedure. He wanted to know what would happen if he was anywhere near an EM pulse wave or got shot with the ARG. You all know that both of these devices render Replicator Block nanites inert. That is the problem. I've been working on a way to shield the Block, but so far my attempts have failed. I'm sure I can come up with a viable solution given enough time."

"Rodney it took you twenty-three months to get this far. You've been working almost non-stop for four weeks and you're no further along. You offered me a chance to walk again five weeks ago. I want to take the risk. I want to walk again." John had calmed down and looked deep into the blue eyes that sat across from him and pleaded his case in front of everyone. "It's no different than a person living without a spleen. They need to be careful to stay away from ill people since their immune system is compromised. It will be the same for me. I'll just have to stay away from electromagnetic pulses and anti-replicator weapon technology."

"John are you sure you want to do this. If you could give Rodney…" John cut Elizabeth off before she could finish her thought.

"More time? No. I want to do this. You came to me remember. You told me to take as much time as I needed to think things through and I have. I want to do this, even knowing the risk. You have no idea what it's been like for me sitting in this chair everyday for the past few weeks knowing the possibilities. Please Elizabeth, please Rodney." John hated begging, but what was he to do?

Elizabeth couldn't imagine what it had been like for the Colonel. Being told you could possibly walk again and every day that went by found yourself sitting in a wheelchair. A constant reminder of what he had lost and what he could gain by having the surgery. Elizabeth was pretty sure that was partly the reason behind some of the reports she had received about the Colonel's short temper of late. She herself had been on the receiving end of one of his outbursts. "Carson you've been quiet through this whole thing. What is your opinion? Should John have the surgery?" Elizabeth asked her CMO.

"As a Doctor it is my job to inform my patients of any and all risks regarding any medical procedure. Explain in detail the procedure and answer their questions to the best of my ability then abide by their decision. The Colonel is aware of the risks. More so than the rest of us were. As a friend I'd like the Colonel to reconsider, give Dr. McKay more time to solve the problem. But knowing the Colonel as I do I know he won't change his mind once he's made it. The Colonel and I have spoken on several occasions and at great length. He is more than qualified to make this decision about his well being." Beckett concluded and gave the Colonel a sympathetic, yet pleading and understanding smile.

John nodded his thanks in return and turned his attention back to Elizabeth and Rodney.

"John if you're sure." Elizabeth said.

"I am."

Rodney looked horrible as he lifted his head up and whispered, "I'm sorry." Then he bolted out of his chair and made a fast exit out of the conference room leaving behind his laptop and empty coffee mug.

The remaining occupants were stunned, to say the least, at McKay's immediate departure. John took it the hardest. He knew Rodney felt like he had failed him by not coming up with a solution. Not to say that he wouldn't with time, but John didn't want to wait any longer, the timing was right. John lost count of the number of times Rodney had saved his ass and those of his team or Atlantis. He was sure that Rodney would eventually find a way to protect the implant; it was his nature not to give up.

John backed away from the conference table and started for the door. He had to go after Rodney and explain. By the time he reached the door a hand clamped down on his shoulder. "Leave him be lad. I will find him and make sure he is alright." Carson said softly in his Scottish brogue.

John looked up into the Doctor's deep blue eyes. His own had filled with moisture. "Carson?"

"Aye, I'll look after him for ya. Right now I think it's best if you went to your quarters and rested until dinner. It's been a long day all around for all of us." Carson patted John's shoulder.

"Will you tell him I'm sorry for springing the news like I did? Will you tell him I didn't mean what I said. Tell him I know he will figure it out and I'm not upset. Will you tell him…" John couldn't talk anymore more. Thoughts and emotions overwhelmed him so. If he didn't get out of there he was going to lose it in front of everyone for a second time. John lowered his head, nodded at Carson's suggestion and headed out of the conference room.

As soon as John was out of sight, Carson tapped his comm and advised Dr. Epson.

oOo

John went to his room like Carson had suggested. Carson summoned Carl to keep an eye on Colonel Sheppard after his announcement. Dr. Beckett took the time to inform Carl of the Colonel's decision to have the surgery, his emotional backlash and of the possible risks, as well as Dr. McKay's fast exit from the conference room. John wanted to find Rodney to talk but the closer he got to his room, the more drained he became emotionally. He berated himself for the way he had acted and how he just blurted out his decision. If he had only talked to Rodney earlier about his decision to go ahead with the surgery regardless it would not have been such a shock. And he needed to apologize. The two of them should have talked it out together and not in front of a room full of people even if those people were their friends. There was always more than one way to handle a situation. If anything Elizabeth and Teyla had taught him that over the years. John handled this situation definitely the wrong way. After dinner he would make it a point to find Rodney and make amends.

oOo

John got out of bed and back into his wheelchair. That last hour or so of rest had allowed him to clear his mind and refocus. After completing his task in the bathroom he headed out to get dinner and find one special Physicist. His clock on the nightstand read 18:37 hours. John was surprised that Carl hadn't come to wake him. Dinner was at 18:00 and Carl was a stickler for keeping on schedule. There was a good chance that Rodney would still be in the mess hall eating dinner. If not he was sure he could find him hunched over his laptop in his lab.

When John entered the living space Carl and Rodney were seated in the two lounge chairs talking quietly. "Rodney? I was coming to find you."

"That's nice, but I'm not lost Colonel." Rodney replied looking over his left shoulder at Sheppard.

"I never…Did um…Carson…"

"Yeah, yeah he did."

"We're good then?"

"Always."

Neither John nor Rodney were any good at expressing feelings. At times they acted like children and at other times fired insult after insult at each other. It was how they communicated their emotions and feelings. They had an unspoken bond of friendship between them that no one really understood. Possibly not even John or Rodney knew how it had manifested. But whatever it was they shared, either man would give his life or limbs for the other. It was a bond of brotherhood.

"Hey, why are you here? It's past dinner time." John said.

"Oh…that…well…after Carson found me and gave me a thorough talking too he set me straight on a few things. He even threatened me with his largest needles and all, for which I'm sure, was your doing, but he wanted me to fill Carl in on the possible dangers so I came here and we've been talking. I also took the liberty to fill in Elizabeth, Col. Lorne and the others more fully." Rodney commented.

"Okay, well I'm hungry. Have you guys had dinner yet?"

Carl and McKay both responded with an emphatic "no," at the same time.

oOo

Col. Caldwell and the Daedalus made it back late last night. After checking the two planets the only one that showed any promise was M2R-913. The Daedalus survey team found an Ancient lab with a half dozen consoles, wraith tech and more empty egg sack chambers scattered throughout the facility. A scan of the planet from orbit resulted in no life forms, not even animal. It appeared that Michael had used the inhabitants and the Ancient ruin to create more superbugs. The village that was located approximately three miles from the Stargate was deserted. It was unknown if any survivors had managed to escape. Whatever had happened to this world Col. Caldwell knew it could not sustain life even if any of the inhabitants had escaped and did manage to return.

Hermiod requested soil samples, atmospheric samples and readings along with water samples from the planet surface in hopes of determining what had caused the planets demise. There were no plants left to sample, the world was baron of all life right down to the micro-bacteria. During the long flight back to Atlantis Hermiod researched and completed several tests. His results were always the same; negative or unknown cause. Once back in Atlantis all data, scans and samples were copied or sent to the researchers who had been studying this phenomenon for the past several months.

At the early morning briefing the following day Rodney's curiosity peaked at the mention of an Ancient lab. If Michael really had used the lab then there might be some data stored that he could retrieve. Caldwell said his people tried to access the data consoles but had no luck. He gave credence to the fact that it may need a stronger gene carrier to activate it. After Col. Caldwell made his report to the senior staff that morning he and the Daedalus departed for Earth in the afternoon.

A communiqué from the SGC advised that Col. Ellis and the Apollo were on their way to Pegasus from Earth; however, they were headed for the far side of the galaxy to do more recon on the Asuran home world. The Apollo had bombed the eight crafts the Asuran's were making the last time they were there. Eighteen months earlier they had done the same to another ten possible targets. Since then they had made numerous trips but were unable to get a positive scan if the Asuran's were building ships again. This would be the Apollo's sixth mission to the Asuran home world.

oOo

Carson activated the door chime to the Colonel's quarters and waited for the Colonel or Carl to answer. Carson had got his team up to speed on the proposed procedure and had taken the last two days to finalize all necessary preparations. He was there to give last minute instructions to the Colonel as his surgery was scheduled to begin at 07:00 hours the next morning. It was relatively late and most of Atlantis had or would be going to bed soon.

The door whooshed open and Carson was invited in. "Hey Doc, please tell me you're not here for more blood because honestly I gave at the office." John jokingly remarked, although looking at his needle pricked arm it was no joke. "I also gave you enough other bodily fluids." He stated as an afterthought.

John had spent most of yesterday in the infirmary having this or that test done in preparation for his surgery. First was the CBC (complete blood count) and several vials of blood were drawn. John found out later that some of the blood taken was for PT and PTT tests which checked for coagulation and clotting. Carson also took a urine sample for the UA test or urinalysis. John suffered through a series of x-rays and an EEG, EKG, CT, MRI and finally an Ancient scan. He couldn't understand why they just couldn't use the ones from his accident two years ago or from his most recent check up. But Carson informed him that the spine could have shifted some over the years or even months and it was best to have a new set done. Besides all this he was subjected to a complete physical checking his heart, lungs and vital signs, numerous times throughout the day no less. A couple of tests used contrast dye in conjunction with scans and x-rays.

Carson had walked him through what would happen at every stage of the process until he was comfortable. He was here now to give some final reminders and take a new round of vitals. Carson tried to get the Colonel to consent to staying the night in the infirmary, but he wouldn't hear of it. He preferred his own bed to those in the infirmary and besides it was much quieter in his own quarters.

"No Colonel, not here for any more blood. But I do need to take a new set of vitals and give you some reminders for tomorrow. As well as a sedative so you get a good nights rest." Carson explained.

"Carson do we have to do the sedative thing? I don't have a problem with…"

"No guff Colonel. I want you well rested. I know if I was in your place I wouldn't be able to sleep a wink knowing what is to come. I insist." Carson told him matter-of-factly leaving nothing open for discussion.

Carson himself had spent two days prior to all the Colonel's testing to bring his OR team and nursing staff up to speed on the Colonel's post-operative care. Beckett went over the procedure as well as the information from Dr. McKay's research as well as his own. The hardest part was how to sanitize the Replicator Block. However, he should have known, his team came up with a solution and the RB was disinfected and secured. Overall his team was shocked to say the least at hearing the possibility that the Colonel might walk again and were all sworn to secrecy.

John anticipated he wouldn't win this argument either and conceded to the Doctor's wishes. Carl had already helped him shower and dress for bed so it was a matter of getting in bed, letting Carson do his thing and going to sleep. John turned his wheelchair around and headed back into his room. Using the lift he got into bed and allowed Carson to take his vitals. Carl came in as Carson was about to give his final instructions.

"Everything looks good Colonel. Now, nothing more to eat or drink until after your surgery. Don't worry about changing position tonight the sedative should keep you under. As for tomorrow, Carl will wake you at six am. After you catheterize yourself you can brush your teeth but don't swallow any water. Come to the infirmary dressed as you are and we will get you changed into a surgical gown. Do you have any questions you want to ask? Now is a good time." Carson put his stethoscope back in his Doctor's bag he used for 'house-calls' and retrieved the sedative that would at least give the Colonel a good six-solid hours of sleep.

"Can't think of any Carson. Between you, Carl and Rodney I've gone over this several times. I think I could perform the surgery myself." John surmised.

"Okay then." Carson said as he swabbed the Colonel's arm and was readying the sedative. "Just a wee sting and it will be all over." Pushing the plunger down on the syringe he injected the sedative.

"I know." John murmured as he could feel the affects of the sedative working already, his eyelids felt heavy and began to close on their own. John struggled to keep them open but darkness encompassed him within moments.

TBC

3/14

16


	4. Chapter 4

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** I am NOT in the medical, military or science professions so what you read is just 'winging it'. Hope it all sounds plausible. Also in my stories there will always be Dr. Weir and Dr. Beckett.

This is the fourth story I've written dealing with Colonel Sheppard's disability. Preceding order: Three for the Price of Two, Conquering Adversities, Unexpected Surprises.

The story was beta read and any remaining errors are my own. Enjoy.

Life Altering

By Kwillads

Chapter 4

Six am came and John found himself being awakened by Carl as promised. He had actually slept a full eight hours and it felt good. John couldn't remember when the last time was that he had had an uninterrupted eight hours even before his accident. The military had taught him to sleep light; always be on alert for dangers in his surroundings and for the enemy. And to sleep in short increments; power naps as he thought of them as you never knew when the enemy might strike. However, in the past two years every three hours or so throughout the night his watch alarm would go off to remind him to change positions to avoid pressure sores. It wasn't like he totally woke up, but on some level of consciousness he had to wake up enough in order to move and untangle his legs. One of the worst things about this wonderful eight hours of sleep was waking up to the cotton field that had grown in his mouth during the night. That was one reason why John hated sedatives. It was the way he felt after waking up from them; a mouth full of cotton. The other reason was being disoriented, sluggish even, but worst of all was the San Francisco fog that had rolled in while he was sleeping and had taken up residence in his head. He needed a clear mind in order to do his job and waking up to fog was never a good thing.

With Carl's assistance this morning, John got into his wheelchair and headed to the bathroom to take care of a few things. From the bedroom came a disembodied voice that called out 'don't swallow'.

"I remember." John muttered around his toothbrush to the voice in the other room, not loud enough for Carl to hear however. He quickly finished brushing his teeth and tongue. John so wanted to drink down a cool sip of water but Carson had explained to him during one of their many talks what could happen if he did, so he didn't. Aspirating with a tube down your throat was not on his list of things to try. At least brushing helped remove about ninety-five percent of the cotton field from his mouth. Now if he could just get the fog to roll out. He knew it would be a few days before he would be allowed to shave again so he took a few minutes to take care of the five o'clock shadow that adorned his face. Laying his shaving kit down next to his toothbrush after he finished he rolled out into the living space where Carl was now waiting for him.

The two men headed for the infirmary. Rolling out of the transporter John turned to his right to head down the short hall and spotted Rodney peering anxiously through the frosted glass window in the door leading into the infirmary's waiting room. It reminded him of seeing children peering through the pet shop window at the mall at all the playful puppies and kittens. Rodney was just as hyper as those kids were—bouncing from foot to foot to get the best view.

John stopped abruptly just outside of the transporter and watched McKay for a little while as Carl stood silently behind him. John wondered if he could go back in the transporter and wait until Rodney gave up and left. When it didn't seem like Rodney was going to quit anytime soon John closed his eyes, sighed and then closed the short distance between them. "McKay what are you doing here?" He snapped out in a loud voice. His tone sharp and voice echoing off the quiet halls at this early hour of the morning.

Rodney gasped and jumped back at the booming sound resting a hand across his heart as if to slow it down somehow. His focus was so intent on trying to make out the weird shapes within the infirmary that he hadn't noticed John and Carl approaching. Breathing deeply to catch his stolen breath before he answered, "don't do that! You trying to give me a heart attack? Never mind. Zelenka was right; we should have put warning bells on your wheelchair—would keep you from sneaking up on people."

"McKay! What are you doing here?" John asked a second time with a more discernible edge in his tone. Dismissing Rodney's earlier rant. "I specifically remember…"

Rodney spoke up before the Colonel could finish his statement. "Well actually I'm not really here. You don't really see me. If I were here I would be going against a certain someone's request. If I were 'here' that is. But since I'm not 'here', you can't get upset with me because I'm really not 'here'. And since I don't want to go against that certain someone's request because I really, really respect that someone, I really am not 'here'. Although it may look like it, I'm not. Not really 'here' that is." Rodney rambled on.

"McKay…it's too freakin' early for your babble. I haven't had my coffee yet and according to the Doc's I doubt that I get any. So…you're not really here I get it. So why are you 'not here' Rodney?" John asked out of frustration feeling the headache building at the back of his head. He specifically had asked that his friends not be there to see him before surgery. He felt it would be too hard on them as well him, if they came to see him before surgery. Just having the thought of them sitting there in the uncomfortable chairs the whole twelve hours or so the surgery might take, if not longer, made him cringe. He didn't want them to do that, not that he didn't appreciate the gesture, it just would be too emotional for him and he wasn't an emotional kind of guy. At least that's what he told himself all the time.

"I…I mean… 'Not me', because I'm not 'here', just wanted to say 'good luck'." Rodney held out his hand for a handshake.

Returning in kind, John grasped Rodney's hand and squeezed tightly. "Thanks Rodney. For everything."

Before John could make his way into the infirmary Teyla and Ronon appeared, almost out of thin air behind McKay. Rodney quickly piped up. "They're not 'here' either!"

"I gathered that. Thanks for telling me McKay. So why…?" John was getting that feeling inside that he could do without. The feeling he tried to keep tucked away at the back of the closet in his mind so he wouldn't get hurt. The one feeling that kept his friends at a distance so they wouldn't get that close. The feeling that told him he had built a new family with these friends and was cared for and loved. And when had he let that happen? John had always kept friends at a distance, even Mitch and Dex. How had an egotistical physicist, a warrior princess and a character extra from a Star Wars film managed to sneak by his defenses?

Teyla spoke softly and bowed her head onto John's in the traditional Athosian greeting. "We came to wish you well. May the Ancestors protect and keep you safe during this journey."

"Good Luck Sheppard. Can't wait to run and spar with you again like old times." Came Ronon's low but strong voice while extending his hand for a warrior's handshake. Each grabbing the others forearm in a strong embrace.

"Thanks guys. Looking forward to it Big Guy." Releasing his grip on Ronon's arm John inched his wheelchair a bit closer to the infirmary's outer door.

A shout from down the hall behind him caused him to turn around to see who was coming. "I hoped I'd catch you before you went inside." Elizabeth huffed as she and Evan jogged from the transporter towards John. The short jog had really taken Elizabeth's breath away and she realized just how out of shape she had become. A quick thought flashed across her mind about visiting the gym more often.

"I just want to wish you luck. I'll be thinking of you." Elizabeth said softly as she leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Be well." Her thumb rubbed the lipstick that was left on his clean shaven cheek away quickly.

"Thanks Elizabeth."

"Sir, don't worry about a thing. Just concentrate on walking. Good Luck." Evan echoed the sentiments of the others as well.

John nodded. In the last couple minutes his throat had constricted and dried up like the desert in Afghanistan where he had been stationed. He could sure use a drink right now. Something much stronger than water would do the trick. Maybe Zelenka's two hundred proof would be just the thing. He didn't think he could say another word. Carl picked up on the visual emotional distress his charge was displaying. "Colonel, I think we better go in now. Dr. Beckett will be wondering where you are."

John had his head down hiding his emotions in his hands and gave a silent bob of his head. Carl stepped behind the wheelchair and pushed the Colonel through the outer infirmary doors as they swished open leaving his friends standing in the hall.

oOo

Nurse Nellie McGuire had started her shift an hour earlier than normal since the infirmary had a couple of guests. Mary would not be able to single-handedly, take care of prepping the Colonel for surgery and see to the other patients needs at the same time. Mornings in the infirmary were always a busy time; patients waking up with personal needs, checking their wounds and getting their meds. And, of course, breakfast seemed to take up a lot of the nurses' time. When Nellie saw the pair enter she directed Carl to a closed off room they used for pre-op. There was a gurney covered in white sheets in the center of the small room. At the foot of the gurney lay a gown and another white sheet. It was almost identical to the isolation room, but with a gurney instead of a bed and there were no viewing windows with curtains.

As the wheelchair came to a stop John quietly uttered, "can I have a minute alone please?" His head was still resting in his hands as he spoke. His voice was low and his words caught in his throat.

"Sure Colonel, I don't see why not. I will let Dr. Beckett know you are finally here and be back in a few minutes." Nellie conveyed looking a little confused at the Colonel's less than stoic appearance she was used to seeing.

Carl remained in the room, but said nothing. He allowed the Colonel to take all the time he needed to put the brave mask back on that had accidentally crumbled a few minutes ago in the outer hallway. Carl understood why the Colonel had asked his friends to stay away, but he also understood why those same friends hadn't and couldn't be kept away.

The Colonel wiped away the wetness he found in his eyes. _Boy I hate sedatives, _he told himself. He brought his head up to take in his surroundings for the first time and took a couple long deep breaths in order to calm himself down. He had to regain some semblance of the brave façade he was used to projecting.

"Carl you want to give me a hand getting on the gurney?" He finally asked. Although his back was to the door he felt Carl's presence and knew he would not have gone far when he had asked to be alone.

"Sure Colonel." Carl helped him get onto the gurney. Once there the Colonel took off the black t-shirt that he had slept in and handed it to Carl. Carl in turn handed him the surgical gown he'd readied for him.

After the Colonel put on the gown, Carl helped him to lie down. The head of the gurney was raised just a bit. Carl spread the white top sheet over the Colonel and then divested him of his sweatpants. By the time the two were finished Nellie and Carson entered the small pre-op room.

"Good Morning Colonel, did you sleep alright? I expected you ten minutes ago. Is everything okay?" Carson inquired after getting a brief report on his condition from Nellie.

"Yeah Carson everything is fine. Just had a few unexpected details to take care of this morning out in the hall. Guess I should have taken you up on staying the night." The Colonel responded.

"Oh I see." Carson looked at the Colonel and noticed the redness around his eyes then over to Carl who mouthed 'team' and understood exactly what had transpired. "Well then…are ya ready? Any questions before we begin?"

"Yes to the first, no to the second." John tried for a little humor but it came out flat.

"Okay then, Nellie is going to take a round of vitals, get an IV started, hook up the heart monitor and put a catheter in. I'll be right back with a little something that will help you relax and make you drowsy." Carson explained patting John's shoulder for reassurance and understanding.

"Um Carson…could Carl do the…you know what?" John asked with a blush, his hands playing with the edge of the sheet sure his neck and ears had turned a slight pink. He was embarrassed to say catheter since Nellie was still in the room. He knew from previous experience that the nurses usually put the catheters in, but in all those times he was usually unconscious and didn't know. This time was different he was most definitely conscious and would really be embarrassed if Nellie did that.

At first Carson wasn't sure what the Colonel was referring too, but then it dawned on him. "Of course Colonel, as long as Carl doesn't mind."

"I don't mind Dr. Beckett." Replied Carl swiftly. "I'll be glad to help wherever I can." After all Carl was a registered nurse among a host of other things. In fact why hadn't Carson just asked Carl to do everything?

Nellie started with the vitals then inserted an IV with precision and finesse. And finally put the heart monitor leads on the Colonel's chest. She left the room giving a nod to Carl so he could put the catheter in. When Nellie started work this morning she had gathered what would be needed and had it all ready and waiting in the pre-op room. Just as Carl was finishing up, Dr. Beckett returned with a loaded syringe for the Colonel.

"Alright Colonel, this will make you sleepy so don't fight it, just go with it. I have to go get scrubbed up, but Carl will be here to look after you until my OR team comes to get you. I'll see you when you wake up which should be in about twelve maybe fourteen hours." Carson was about to inject the contents of the syringe into one of the IV ports that entered the back of John's left hand when a strong hand grasped his wrist and prevented the needle from going any further. "Colonel? What's the matter lad?" He asked.

John had that deer in the headlights look, but he managed to whisper, "I'm scared." He had faced down Wraith and Kolya, survived an iratus bug, held his own against a Wraith Queen trying to rip his thoughts out, survived a Replicator probing his mind trying to do the same thing plus numerous other bad guys from the Pegasus Galaxy and now found himself scared of this surgery.

"Aye son, that is normal. I promise ya that I will take good care of ya." Carson said in his soft comforting Scottish brogue.

"No, not about that. What if this doesn't work?" John turned his scared eyes upward and stared into the face of his doctor. A face so gentle and kind which made times being in the infirmary less scary. "What if I turn into…"

Carl interrupted their conversation. "Dr. McKay has assured you, on several occasions, that won't happen." Carl changed his tactics as John looked in his direction. "Remember Colonel when I said if you do nothing you will always wonder. If you did and it didn't work, you've lost nothing, but if it did work, you gained your legs."

John looked up at Carl as he spoke listening to those familiar words and remembered clearly their talk from several weeks ago. He nodded that he remembered.

"Keep that in mind now. If this works you will have regained your legs. If it doesn't work, then you have lost nothing but a few hours." Carl added.

Taking a deep breath he released his death grip on Carson's wrist holding the sedative. "Okay, I can do this." John replied breathing deeply again to settle his nerves. A silent mantra replaying over and over inside his head: _'I can do this', 'I can do this'._

Carson carefully inserted the needle, pushed down on the plunger emptying the contents into his vein. The Colonel's eyes began to close immediately. The fast beeping rhythm of the heart monitor from moments earlier when the Colonel panicked now settled to a slower, normal sleeping rhythm.

The Colonel's eyes closed completely and his breathing evened out. Carson gave the monitor one last look to make sure everything was within set parameters. Carson patted the Colonel on the shoulder and whispered one last thought before he left to scrub up. "Aye son, you can do this."

Fifteen minutes later two nurses dressed in blue surgical gowns, blue cap over their hair, masks covering mouth and nose and blue footsies covering their shoes came to wheel the gurney into the operating room. They lowered the head of the bed down, raised the guard rails on both sides, unlocked the wheels and Carl helped them until he came to the operating door at which time he let go of the gurney and watched as the two nurses continued through with the Colonel and the monitors.

Carl whispered a silent 'God speed my friend' to the door that closed in front of him before he turned away and found himself back in the small pre-op room folding the Colonel's t-shirt and sweatpants. Carl laid the garments on the seat of the Colonel's wheelchair before taking it back to their room. There was no need for his wheelchair to clutter the infirmary as it would be at least a week or more before the Colonel would be allowed out of bed. When it was needed, Carl would bring it back.

As Carl made his way out of the infirmary with, clothes and wheelchair in tow, he found that the five unannounced morning visitors were still standing in the hall outside the infirmary doors. Not one of them had dared to enter the waiting room. They had too much respect for the Colonel; beside they didn't want the Colonel to accidentally catch them being there. Carl was bombarded with questions and concerns for their friend as he came through the door. He tried to ease their minds, but there was not a lot he could tell them. He was not part of the surgical team and had to wait the same as they did. Carl suggested that everyone go about their day as the Colonel had wanted them to the best they could. It would be late that night before any news would be known.

oOo

Inside the operating room the Colonel's gurney was brought up along side the operating table. Dr. Beckett told Mark, the anesthesiologist, to insert an airway and get the Colonel hooked up to the ventilator. Vitals were still holding steady and strong. Once Mark had the airway in and secured the surgical team log-rolled the Colonel over on to his stomach onto the cold operating table that was only covered by a thin blue-green sheet. Now, lying prone, his left arm was stretched out straight on a long metal arm. His right arm was in a similar position, but angled down towards his hip to allow the airway tube more freedom. The nurses covered their patient with more blue-green surgical sheets leaving the area at the base of the spine exposed.

Overhead the large silver operating light was tilted to give Carson the best possible lighting for this delicate procedure. Beside him stood Becky ready to hand him the instruments as he called for them. Next to the instrument tray sat another tray with the small Replicator Block, wireless laptop and several graphs of alien pig veins and arteries in varying lengths and sizes in a stainless steel tray surrounded by saline. Mark sat on a stool above the Colonel's head monitoring the air flow, anesthesia rate and a myriad of other monitors. On the opposite side of the operating table was Pasha with a tray of lap sponges varying in size along with the suction tube and various other necessities. Pasha took the iodine and swabbed the area over the Colonel's spine. Behind Pasha's head hung two of Sheppard's spinal x-rays on the white lighted panel.

Carson took a look around at his staff, another look at all the monitors and with a large intake of breath he finally asked, "every one ready? Okay, here we go…scalpel."

oOo

Dr. Weir and Lt. Col. Lorne walked back to her office just off the command deck to start the morning briefing. Ronon and Teyla headed for the mess hall and with some coaxing persuaded Rodney to join them. There was nothing any of them could do for Sheppard right now. Sheppard's fate was sealed in the hands of the skilled surgeon and his team. All they could do for now was to proceed with their day as the Colonel requested. No matter how hard that was.

Elizabeth found her concentration lacking throughout the day aside from the occasional interruption by members of the expedition. She reached for her coffee mug and took a sip while she pretended to read the report on her computer scene. She had done a lot of pretending today. As the cold liquid hit her tongue she was startled from her stupor. Had it been so long since she last tasted the hot bitterness? Her cup was nearly full. Unconsciously she closed down her laptop, picked up her cup containing the cold brew and headed for the mess hall to get a fresh cup of coffee. She still had a lot of reports to read, sign off on and file before the day was done. After she filled her mug Elizabeth took a few tentative sips and let the aroma caress her senses. Exiting slowly from the mess hall she worked her way back towards her office. It had been a long day and she had gotten nothing accomplished. Her thoughts were always on John and how things were proceeding with the surgery. There had been no news from the infirmary all day; a fact well known as she had called down there about every two hours or so looking for news. As she meandered through the halls of Atlantis, lost in thought, she was abruptly stopped by a hand on her shoulder.

Whirling around, startled at the touch, she spilled her coffee on the floor. She found the hand belonged to Dr. McKay. "You startled me. Did I get any on you?" She asked looking at the front of his uniform.

"I'm sorry Elizabeth I thought you knew I was here. I've been talking to you since you walked past my lab." Rodney pointed out to her.

Rodney had spent the whole day working in his lab trying to get a Replicator Block to be EM and ARG resistant. Each simulation was coming up short. Knowing that John was risking his life in the operating room gave Rodney a lot of incentive to keep at his simulations and calculations; failure after failure. There were times when he wanted to bring Zelenka into the project but how could he explain why he wanted the block to be resistant when all they have been trying to do over the years is make them vulnerable to attack. The Colonel specifically didn't want anyone else to know about his surgery. The Atlantis rumor mill was already hard at work relaying various speculations.

"Your lab? I went to the mess hall for coffee and now I'm heading back to my office." She replied holding up her steaming cup as proof.

"Uh…Elizabeth your office is on Level Two back that direction. You're standing outside the infirmary." Rodney pointed a finger in the opposite direction and gave her a concerned look as she took in her surroundings.

Unknowingly, she had walked from the mess hall past Rodney's lab and had kept on going. Now she found herself outside the infirmary. Elizabeth was a bit embarrassed. She had no idea how she had managed to end up there. And to top it off, all along Rodney had kept a barrage up in a one sided conversation with her that she hadn't heard a single word of.

"Oh." She muttered. Not knowing what else she could say to save face. "What are you doing here Rodney?"

"Well you see…when I saw you walk past my lab heading in this general direction I thought maybe you had heard something and I decided to tag along." He admitted, no need trying to cover up what he or Elizabeth had been thinking about all day. "Do you think he is ok? I mean it's been twelve hours and we haven't heard a word." Rodney had been worse than Dr. Weir. He called down to the infirmary every hour on the hour for any news or updates. He was sure dreading his next visit no matter what the circumstances. To say he wasn't pleasant to those he talked with would be an understatement.

"I don't know Rodney. They say 'no news is good news'. Well…since we're here I guess we should go in and find out." Elizabeth hesitated at the door. John specifically requested they not come. He didn't want them sitting there all day waiting for news, yet all of them showed up before surgery. She weighed what John would say if he ever found out and determined it was worth the risk. She opened the door and walked in.

To her and Rodney's amazement, Teyla, Ronon and Evan had already taken seats in the waiting room. Evan stood immediately at the arrival of the Expedition Leader; always a gentleman. Ronon's long legs were stretched out in front of him arms crossed over his chest giving a nod to the newcomers. Teyla sat with her back straight in what looked like a meditation posture, a serene look across her face. She smiled and tilted her head in acknowledgment of the others. Evan had been seated nervously in one of the corner chairs until their arrival.

"When did you guys get here?" Rodney asked gruffly while walking into the room.

"Ronon and I arrived shortly after dinner. We…did not feel like sparring." Teyla disclosed.

"Why didn't you say you were coming here after dinner? I would have come with you." Stated Rodney with a bit of an angry edge in his tone of voice. He was just as concerned for Sheppard as the next person.

"I am sorry Dr. McKay. I believed it was in your best interest to stay focused on your task at hand…finding a way to shield the implant." Teyla explained thoughtfully.

"Yes…well…you are probably right about that. However, I am no further along now than I was six hours ago or two weeks ago. I hate to admit it, but I've hit a road block."

Teyla smiled. "I have no doubt that you will succeed. You will find a way around this 'road block' for that I am sure."

Rodney gave her words due consideration. He knew his team mates and friends were counting on him. He was the answer man after all. Rodney offered a half smile in return and took a seat next to Teyla to wait.

"Ma'am, I arrived about 19:20 hours. All duties have been seen too. All reports filed. Tomorrow's mission schedule posted and a copy sent to you for review." Evan advised. He remained standing until Elizabeth chose a seat and sat down. It seemed that Evan was the only one who had managed to concentrate and get his work done, unlike Elizabeth. It was probably his military mind set and training that allowed him to focus so diligently at his newly appointed tasks. It wasn't everyday that a junior officer was handed command of a military outpost—and in another galaxy for an undetermined amount of time, no less.

"Has there been any news?" Elizabeth asked in general.

It was only 19:47 hours now. Just past the twelve hour mark. Guess they all heard Beckett say the surgery would take twelve to fourteen hours and they all unconsciously found their way here.

"The nurse, Colleen, said everyone was still in surgery and there was no news. She invited us to wait here and would inform us of any developments as they become available." Offered Teyla to the newcomers.

The waiting room was quiet and their eyes concentrated on the door that separated the waiting room from the actual infirmary wishing with every breath taken that someone, anyone, would come and tell them John was okay. They didn't need to know if the implant worked, they just needed to know that he was okay.

A door whooshed open; all eyes came up followed by a gasp from their individual thoughts. "Oh it's you." Rodney sighed, sinking back into his uncomfortable chair watching Carl enter the waiting room.

Carl took a seat without saying anything and the waiting room fell back into that unbelievable eerie quietness. Teyla and Ronon looked at each other and then at Rodney. Rodney did not have his computer with him and silently they both longed for the clicking sound that offered them an unusual comfort they had gotten used to. McKay would type equation after equation and the constant tapping on the keys gave them something to concentrate on other than the silence while waiting for news on a team member. That team member usually was the Colonel. There wasn't much trouble for Sheppard to get into staying on Atlantis. He kept to his daily routine and worked from his office most of the time. There were no off world missions; no first contact with the inhabitants of the Pegasus Galaxy; no crazy schemed rescues to pull off when first contact turned into a run for your life situation. Other than flying the jumper on the occasional rescue or shuttling people or supplies to the mainland he was out of harms way. Even in the jumper he was pretty much safe from harm. There was that one exception, though, on Atlantis when Cpl. Blair tried to kill the Colonel in a lab explosion while the Colonel tagged along with Lorne's team to investigate a new sector of the city. That was the last time they had sat vigil over the Colonel to the reassuring sounds of McKay's typing.

Seconds ticked off into minutes, minutes stretched into hours. It had been a long wait for everyone. They were past the fourteen hour mark now. Worry was beginning to settle in. Had something gone wrong? The minutes continued to tick off as time dissolved without any word.

Mary, the nurse who worked the nightshift, came through the door with news that the surgery was over. Dr. Beckett had been informed they were waiting and would be out soon to speak to them. Elizabeth looked down at her watch, 10:55 pm; it had been over sixteen hours since they had left John at the door.

oOo

Dr. Beckett finished tying off the last suture closing up the small incision over the Colonel's spine. He asked Becky to clean and dress it. Mark had backed off on the anesthesia twenty minutes ago and Becky had just finished her task. The wound was now dressed with gauze and tape. The surgical team rolled the Colonel onto his side so Mark could carefully extract the airway tubing from his throat. The team then moved the Colonel onto the gurney which he had arrived on over sixteen hours ago making sure to keep him prone. Mark placed an oxygen mask over the Colonel's mouth and nose before leaving the operating room.

Still connected to the heart monitor and now an oxygen tank, the two nurses readied the gurney with Mark following close behind pushing the heart monitor cart. The three made their way to the isolation room and slid the Colonel onto the more comfortable bed. Becky and Pasha pulled the white sheet that the Colonel was lying on across to the infirmary bed while Mark helped from the opposite side of the bed leaning over the now vacant gurney. The Colonel's right arm was placed next to his prone body, while the left arm with the IV attached was at a ninety degree angle and bent at the elbow so that his hand rested by his head. The team double checked that none of his wires or tubes came loose during the transfer.

The Colonel lay prone on the infirmary bed. Carson came into the room as the empty gurney went out along with his tired OR team. Carson had such good people working for him, never complaining and always happy to help out. He had the best team in two galaxies. And it seems his nurses were all Saints after having been told of Dr. McKay's constant calls and of Dr. Weirs throughout the long day as he made his way from the operating room to the isolation room. He would have to remember to put them in for hazard duty pay. Waiting for the Colonel to stir Carson stood by the side of the bed checking the monitor. The heart monitor gave away the Colonel's desire to wake from the anesthesia by starting to beep faster. The Colonel tried to move his head from side to side but found it difficult since he was lying on his stomach. A soft moan escaped his burning throat and dry mouth and was muffled by the oxygen mask.

Carson was tapping the side of his cheek instructing him to open his eyes. The Colonel managed to open his eyes to small slits. The light assaulted his vision and he quickly clamped them shut again. Carson didn't give up. He kept talking and tapping, tapping and talking until he got the required result he wanted. The Colonel managed on his second try to open his eyes and keep them open only because Mary had noticed the Colonel's initial response and turned the ISO room's lighting down as she came in. Being flat out on his stomach John couldn't see much of his surroundings. He could tell that he was not in the infirmary in his usual bed, as there appeared to be walls instead of curtains surrounding him. His memory tried to dig through the haze of fogginess called anesthesia.

Carson could see the confusion on the Colonel's face and told him that he was in the isolation room. Explaining that he thought the Colonel would feel more comfortable here than out in the open infirmary. John gave a nod of understanding. At least he thought he nodded. He was still having trouble speaking and his throat was raw and still on fire. As if Carson could read his mind, and maybe he could, Carson reached for the water glass with the straw in it. Maybe it was a required course for all doctors to take when getting their medical degrees. The doc slipped the oxygen mask off and under his chin and a straw appeared at the corner of John's mouth with instructions to take a small sip. Taking the offered straw John drew a small amount of cool water into his mouth. Swallowing carefully, the cool liquid slipped down this burning, scratchy and sore throat in an attempt to put out the burning fire. Ice would have been better but he would take what he was offered.

John tried to rise up but strong hands on his shoulders kept him in place. "Colonel, you need to lie still, remember. For the next twenty-four hours I need you to lay still and quiet so your spinal cord can have time to adjust."

"Re…memb…rrr." John whispered. "Walk?" He hoped Carson would understand his question as talking was proving most difficult.

"It's too early to tell. I can tell you this, when I initiated the Replicator Block it did replicate and it appeared to be repairing the damage done to your spine. Quite fascinating to watch really." Carson explained to the sleepy Military Commander. "You sleep now and we'll talk more in the morning. I'll ask Carl to sit with you tonight if that is okay with you."

Fighting his lack of strength and losing, John just nodded as his eyes closed once more and he fell into a deep slumber. Carson replaced the oxygen mask, checked all the monitors at least twice before heading to the waiting room.

The weary and exhausted Doctor Beckett shuffled his feet into the waiting room about thirty minutes after Mary had told the waiting guests that the operation had been completed. He had been standing on his feet all day and no doubt they were stiff and sore. Besides that he had been up since 05:30 getting breakfast and preparing for the long day ahead. Elizabeth herself had put in long days, but nothing that would compare to this. She figured most of the expedition had put in long days like this one time or another.

As Carson drew closer he waived them to stay seated as he himself took a chair. Dr. Weir noticed Carson was past teetering as exhaustion and fatigue etched his face. She watched him carefully as he sat down. Although they were only eleven months apart in age Carson looked years older. She was concerned for John; anxious to know what his condition was and how the surgery went, but she also had concern for Carson as well. Letting out a huge sigh of relief Carson was grateful for being able to get off his feet and rest even if for only for a few minutes. The waiting room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop, but no one dared to speak. With bated breath the six waited for Carson to begin.

"Oh…it's good to sit down. My feet are not happy with me right now." The tired Doctor exclaimed.

"Carson, we don't really care whether you have happy feet or not. How's Sheppard?" Rodney demanded, staring directly at the exhausted Doctor. It was his research. His twenty two months of work that put Sheppard on the operating table. It was his idea that would either allow the Colonel to walk again or be a total failure. His expectations were high that it would work. He just needed Carson to confirm that everything was alright.

"I'm sorry Rodney; it's been a long day." Carson replied with a heavy sigh as he massaged one of his sore feet. He understood Rodney's concern for his friend and could not fault him for being impatient. He also understood that Rodney might have some reservations about whether or not the implant would be successful.

"Yes, yes, we all know that. I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to snap at you. Please, tell us how Sheppard is." Rodney gave a quick apology, the best he could muster at the moment.

"Thank you Rodney, apology accepted. Now, as for the Colonel, he's fine. He came through the surgery just great. We've set him up in the isolation room. I think he will be more comfortable in there out of sight of on-lookers and all that. I'm giving him antibiotics to ward off any infection that may come along. Also he's getting fluids and immunosuppressive's or anti-rejection meds. Although this was not an organ transplant, sometimes when a foreign object enters the body, the body becomes defensive and attacks." Carl listened intently to what the doctor was saying. So far everything was pretty much textbook. "We gave him a pint of blood to replace what he lost which was not much, but I prefer to err on the side of caution as Rodney tells me all the time. And before you ask Rodney, I don't know if the implant is working or not. I did a Babinski test to see if there was any reaction. I'm afraid we'll have to wait until the Colonel wakes up to find out more. Since the Replicator Block uses a neural link and with the Colonel quite unconscious right now that could be why I didn't get a response. There are other tests I will perform over the next few days that are more conclusive. I don't know what else there is to tell ya. He'll most likely sleep through the night. Don't go expectin him to be walking around tomorrow, this is gonna take time. I'll let ya know when you can see him. So off with ya. It's late and you all need your rest." Carson gave a reassuring smile to his captive audience.

"Thanks Carson, what about you? When will you get some rest?" Elizabeth asked concerned for her CMO knowing that the days ahead would be just as long as this one had been.

"Aye… I'll get some rest shortly. I just want to make sure the Colonel is restin as comfortably as he can before I turn in. Now ya heard me, go! Get some rest and I'll have more news for ya all in the morning." He gave them another smile as he headed back into the infirmary to check on his patient. Before he left the waiting room he turned and asked, "Carl do you have a moment please?"

"Of course Dr. Beckett." Carl simply replied and followed the Doctor into the infirmary.

The door shut behind them and the five watched Carson and Carl talk as they walked across the infirmary heading for the isolation room. Carl nodded several times to comments the Doctor was making.

"Why does he get to go in?" Rodney's tone none to polite.

"Because." Ronon enjoyed teasing the scientist and had heard many Earth people use this phrase in this manner.

Playing along Rodney stood with his hands on his hips as he spoke to the Satedan. "Because? Because why?" Sounding more like his seven year old niece Madison than a credited scholar with multiple PhD's.

"Because he is a Doctor and Sheppard trusts him." Not that the Colonel didn't trust his team, but this was a different kind of trust, a trust the Colonel and Dr. Epson had created between each other and Ronon knew that.

"But…but…" Rodney stuttered.

Ronon pushed McKay out the door and into the hallway effectively cutting off his soon to be rant. "Come on McKay lets go to the mess hall for a midnight snack."

Teyla, Elizabeth and Evan watched the exchange play out in front of them and all they could do is smile. If anyone could keep Rodney under control it would be the Satedan. Evan said his 'good nights' and slipped out of the waiting room. He would have another long day and it started early. Teyla and Elizabeth walked to the transporter and shared a lift to the sleeping quarters. Exchanging pleasantries the two women headed for their respective quarters.

oOo

The interior infirmary door closed behind them and the pair walked towards the isolation room. "Do you think you could sit with the Colonel tonight?" Asked the exhausted Doctor. "I kind of told him I would ask ya and he approved."

"Of course I can. I actually thought you might ask so I rested up this afternoon." Carl explained to the tired Doctor nodding as they went along.

"Aye…good lad you are. That will take a load off my nightshift. He should sleep all night. I want him to stay lying down flat, give his spine time to adjust and keep pressure off his incision...but you know all that don't ya son?" Carl nodded. "He can have a sip of water if he wakes but don't let him raise his head. Mary can check in on ya throughout the night in case ya need anything, but I do have a couple other patients for her to watch and check on. I want his vitals taken every hour unless you see the need to take them more frequently. The dosages of his meds are written on his chart. You know where I keep them." Carl nodded again and Carson ran a hand over the back of his neck. "What am I forgettin'?"

"Nothing Dr. Beckett, now go get yourself some sleep you've had a very long day. I'll see you in the morning. Don't worry about the Colonel, I won't leave him alone." Carl motioned for the exhausted Doctor to go. Carl took a look at the Colonel's chart and noted Mary had just recorded his vitals five minutes ago so he had an hour before he needed to do anything. Pulling up a chair to the bed side he sat down so he could watch the Colonel and the monitors closely.

oOo

"I still don't see why Carl got to go in. Regardless whether he is a doctor or not." Rodney started saying but then his attention went to the next cupboard in the kitchen. "I mean, we're his team, his friends." Rodney closed the cupboard and moved onto the next. Ronon was searching the back pantry when there came a terrible noise. "What was that?" Rodney quietly shouted across the mess kitchen.

"Nothing…keep looking." Ronon whispered through the dark kitchen from the pantry.

Rodney opened the next cupboard. "We've known the Colonel longer." He said as he moved to the next cupboard in line. "Bingo!" he shouted a little too loud for his taste. But it couldn't be helped. There, in front of him was the treasure he and Ronon had been searching for, for the past ten minutes. Ronon joined him taking only three long strides from the pantry to where McKay stood ogling the open cupboard.

"You grab us some plates I'll cut us a piece." Ronon instructed his team mate.

"With what, your good looks?" Ronon pulled one of his knives from somewhere on his person to show McKay.

Rodney's eyes went wide at the sight of the large bladed knife in Ronon's hand as he turned towards one of the first cupboards he had looked into when trying to find his prize. "Oh. I'll just go find the plates." He thought that was where he remembered seeing the plates.

When the pair first entered the mess hall their choice of midnight snacks was less then desirable; miscellaneous fruits, a dried up bran muffin or two, a tuna salad sandwich that had been there for who knows how long and lemon jell-o, nothing that screamed 'eat me'. Ronon tapped Rodney on the shoulder and recounted an earlier conversation he had overheard between two of the cooks—something about pie. This ultimately led the midnight snackers to ransack the mess kitchen. The mess kitchen was dark and they had not turned on any lights for fear the night patrols would see them and investigate.

Rodney made it back to the cupboard where the plates were fumbling to get two. The plates jarred together causing some more noise. Before heading back to Ronon, he pulled open a drawer and found two forks as well as something that could be used to get their ill gotten gains out of the pan.

"It should have been one of us who got to stay with him." Actually, Rodney thought it should have been him. He was the one who created the technology. He was the one who made this surgery even possible for Sheppard. He was one of the original expedition members and he was the one who has saved Sheppard's butt more times than he could count. He was the one…well he was his best friend. Rodney shuffled over with plates and forks in hand as he finished his earlier conversation, still a little peeved that Carl got to stay and he was told to come back tomorrow.

They stood side by side Rodney and Ronon. Rodney held a plate while Ronon served up a nice sized helping of their midnight snack, which to any normal person it would have looked like a double helping. The two took their just desserts and entered the mess hall leaving behind a half gone pie, open cupboards, open drawers and a mess of crumbs on the counter. The two men sat across from each other at one of the back tables just in case anyone came in. They didn't want their conversation overheard.

The mess hall was illuminated as the two visible moons shone through the windows. Rodney stared at his companion in crime.

"What happened to you? You're all…white." Rodney pointed at the Satedan with his fork. The front of Ronon's tunic was covered in a fine white powder of some kind.

"Nothing, just shut up and eat. Now listen to me." Ronon gave a low growl and tried to wipe more of the white powdery stuff from his clothing but did not have much luck.

McKay nodded and put the fork full of cherry pie into his mouth.

"Look McKay, Sheppard trusts Doc Epson. Beckett needs rest and who better to be around if Sheppard decides to wake up half crazy. You know how he gets sometimes when he wakes up in the infirmary. You know the doc will be able to talk him down. You or I could talk him down, but we don't have any knowledge about medicine. It just makes sense. I'm not saying Sheppard doesn't trust us. You know he does but this is a different situation and it calls for someone other than one of us. You know I'm right, don't you?" Ronon told his team mate.

"Not that I like to admit it, but you do make sense. I just…" Rodney couldn't find the right words he was looking for. He so much wanted to be there for his friend. After all it was his research that had Sheppard under the knife for sixteen hours.

"I know. So do I." Ronon stated cleaning up his plate. He really liked some of the Earth foods and cherry pie was one of those. It was always a treat once the Daedalus arrived with new supplies from Earth because the cooks usually made several special things within the first weeks. Ronon figured he was just lucky to have overheard the cooks talking.

When they both were finished, Ronon walked Rodney to his quarters before they parted for the night. Ronon would never admit to the little scientist but Sheppard had asked that he look after McKay. Sheppard knew that Rodney would be the one most likely to take any news good or bad to heart. After bidding each other a good night, Rodney entered his quarters and stood facing his bed. He had to hand it to Ronon; he had an unusual insight into the mind of military men, especially Sheppard's. Rodney huffed at the thought, _'You just raised a notch on my rating scale Conan.'_

TBC

4/14


	5. Chapter 5

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** I am NOT in the medical, military or science professions so what you read is just 'winging it'. Hope it sounds plausible. Also in my stories there will always be Dr. Weir and Dr. Beckett.

This is the fourth story I've written dealing with Colonel Sheppard's disability. Preceding order: Three for the Price of Two, Conquering Adversities, Unexpected Surprises.

The story was beta read and any remaining errors are my own. Enjoy.

Life Altering

By Kwillads

Chapter 5

"Good Morning Carl. How did things go last night?" Carson asked as he came in carrying two cups of coffee and the look of being well rested. His eyes were twinkling bright blue again and he had that cheerful lilt in his Scottish Highland voice.

Before Carl could answer a scratchy voice replied back. "Why don't you ask me?"

Carson was surprised. He hadn't thought the Colonel would be awake. He rushed over to the bed side putting both mugs of coffee down on the tray table and leaned down so that the Colonel could see him without turning his head or straining. "Good Morning Colonel. I didn't expect you to be awake lad. How do you feel?"

"Throat hurts." The Colonel croaked out.

"Aye…I bet it does. Would you like a bit of water to help soothe it?" Carson asked already knowing what the answer would be reached for the glass and straw. John's eyes stayed on the two mugs of steaming liquid.

"I'd rather have coffee." Hot liquid soothing his throat was just what he needed he thought.

Shocked at the response Carson stopped mid reach. "I don't think so Colonel. It's water for now."

"Spoil sport." John gave a slight nod and soon found the straw touching his lips. He took a long slow draw on the straw before Carson took it away. Just before John woke up, Carl had replaced the cumbersome oxygen mask with a nasal cannula seeing as the Colonel's O2 levels were holding steady and had been throughout the night.

"Better?"

"Yeah…a little." The Colonel croaked.

"So…you were going to tell me how it went last night." Carson reminded his patient.

"Fine." Uttered the Colonel.

Carson and Carl both gave a slight chuckle at the Colonel's expense. "Some things never change with you lad. Don't ever change." Carson shook his head smiling at his patient.

Carl gave the Doctor a complete report of what had transpired from the time he left to the time he arrived. Not leaving out a single thing. John had briefly woken twice. Carl offered him a drink of water and within minutes he was fast asleep again. His vitals stayed strong and steady throughout the night.

John was feeling left out of the conversation. His two Doctors were talking about him like he wasn't there. "Hey… 'He' is right here you know," declared the Colonel biting back a moan as those few words aggravated his already painful throat.

"Sorry lad, we Doctors sometimes get carried away talking medical business so much so that we forget our patients are in the room too." Carson apologized.

Stealing himself against what he knew was going to be painful he said. "Well I am you know. Will I be able to walk Carson? Cause last night if I remember you said it was too early to tell." John wasted no time getting to the crux of the situation aching throat or not. He was lying on his stomach and ordered to stay still which he was finding hard to do now that he was more alert. Each time he had awakened during the night John had tried to feel his lower half, feel the sheet and cover lying on him, feel his knees boring into the mattress. He even tried to move his legs even the tiniest bit all without success. John needed to know if the surgery had worked. That was what this was all about.

"I do have a simple test that I can do right now to see if any signals are making it through the Replicator Block now that you are awake. It didn't show much promise last night, but I think that was because you were for the most part unconscious. It's called the Babinski test. It will test to see if the signals are conveyed both to your brain and to the nerves that control the muscles affected." Carson explained.

"Okay. What do I have to do?" John asked.

"Nothing at all Colonel. You just lie still. I'm going to grasp your foot and stroke it and see what kind of response I get." Carson moved to the end of the bed and uncovered the Colonel's feet. Elevating the left foot slightly in his hand he took his penlight and stoked in an upward motion on the outer edge of John's arch.

Carl and Carson watched closely to see if the toes curled downward or upward and out. They were in awe when nothing happened.

"Okay Colonel I'm going to start the test now. Tell me if you feel anything." Carson hated to lie, but right now he didn't want his patient to start panicking. John was prone to panic attacks ever since the incident with the iratus bug several years ago. Mostly it was bugs of any type that caused them, but on occasion John had been known to panic over other things.

Carson repeated the process with the right foot. Holding it and stroking in an upward motion with his penlight. The same result. Nothing happened, no toes curling downward. Carson rested the foot back down on the bed and covered them up with the sheet and blanket.

Carson moved back into the Colonel's line of sight to give him the news. Gauging his words carefully. "You did well for your first test Colonel. It's only been nine hours since you came out of surgery and…" Carson's words were abruptly cut off by his patient.

"Cut the crap Carson. Nothing happened…right? Shouldn't I have at least been able to tell if you were touching me? I felt nothing." The Colonel had seen and heard the way the Doctor was looking at him trying too hard to school his facial expression and to find the right words to placate him. He knew that the doc was covering something up.

"Colonel, it's still early. You have to have patience. I told you many times that you would not just wake up and start walking." Carson's words came out a little stronger than he'd planned but it needed to be said.

Carl chorused in and offered another plausible explanation. "It could be that the Replicator Block has not finished repairing your spinal damage. This is all new technology we are dealing with and it might take some time."

"I know. I'm sorry I snapped at you. I guess I was just hoping for a miracle." The Colonel said and as his voice tapered off he added more softly, "why did I think I deserved one." After all the things he had messed up in his life. The family business, his relationship or lack of one with his father and brother, divorcing Nancy, waking the Wraith, shooting Sumner, losing Ford. The list in his head kept getting longer and longer. He couldn't save Mitch or Dex from the RPG hit and received a court martial for his troubles while trying to save Holland and besides being exiled to Antarctica he got a black mark on his record which infuriated his father all the more. Closing his eyes at the thoughts that were running through his head, he honestly hadn't meant for that last part to be said out loud. It wasn't until easy-going Highland Doctor started in on him that he realized he must have spoken his last thought.

Carson heard it although he was sure John didn't mean to say it, it was too late now. And for the next several minutes Carson verbally berated the Colonel for thinking that way. "You listen to me…" he started off saying. When Carson ended his tirade John was apologizing for the fourth time.

"I'm tired Carson. I'd like to sleep now if that's okay." The Colonel said hoping that, after some more rest, things would be better. Maybe Carl was right, maybe the repair was taking longer than anyone thought it might.

"Go ahead…sleep will do your body good. I'm sorry I yelled at ya, lad. Do you forgive me?" Carson asked.

"Nothing to forgive Carson. I deserved every word of it." The Colonel responded. Closing his eyes to indicate the conversation was over and no need to drag it out any further.

Carson checked the monitors and he and Carl left the isolation room and headed for Carson's office. When they walked into his office, Elizabeth was sitting on the small sofa inside the door. Carson was surprised to find only Elizabeth. He wondered where Rodney, Teyla, Ronon and Evan were. It was not like that bunch to not show up and badger Carson for more details on their friend. Actually, only Rodney did the badgering while the others calmly waited. Carson took a seat behind the desk and Carl sat down on one of the visitor chairs in front of the desk.

Noticing Carson's surprise look at not having an empty office Elizabeth stated straight away, "I told them I would check on the Colonel and relay the information. I didn't see the need for all of us to bombard you first thing in the morning. How is he Carson?"

"Physically he's doing as good as expected. Emotionally, he is struggling. I did another Babinski test and no results. He was wide awake and nothing happened. So I'm not sure if the problem is with the implant or something else." He explained showing his thanks.

"If it's not the implant, what else could it be?" Elizabeth was concerned now. She moved to the edge of the couch her body language tight with anticipation.

"Sorry luv, don't mean to scare ya. I'm sure it's the implant. I know I connected it just like Rodney and I discussed. I took extra time with the graphs and the blood flow to the damaged area was restored. The Replicator Block did all the rest." Carson was beginning to have doubts that he had done something wrong during the surgery.

"I tried to tell Carson and the Colonel that it could take time for the implant to completely repair the damage. When I took over the care of Colonel Sheppard, Dr. Beckett shared with me his medical file, x-rays and scans. The damage was extensive; spinal cord and spinal nerves were totally severed. The fall down the ravine or the sudden stop as his body was slammed up against the tree essentially split the second lumbar vertebrae completely slicing the central canal and all of his spinal nerves. It could take time to repair that amount of damage. The damage is well beyond our current level of expertise to repair. It's possible that the Replicator Block being new and unexplored technology just needs more time." Carl offered.

"Carson, I'm sure you did everything correctly." Weir acknowledged Carl's expertise on the matter. "Like Carl said, it could take time. Let's not go placing blame before we know anything different." Elizabeth was always the diplomat and knew just how to get someone to understand another's viewpoint.

"Aye, you're right lass. I videoed the procedure so I'll have another look at that and maybe get Rodney's honest opinion if he doesn't faint. I could also run the Ancient scanner over the area to see if the Replicator Block is still affecting repairs." Carson said with a smile breeching his face.

"Can I see John?" She asked.

"Not right now luv. He's resting. I doubt that he will be up for any visitors at all today. Maybe tomorrow."

"Alright. Keep me informed please." She said as she got up and left the small office.

Carson's whole day was more of the same. When the Colonel woke from his frequent naps Carson would perform the Babinski test to see if there were any reactions. And each time the results were the same. Nothing. He fended off his team mates who showed up almost like clockwork every hour in hopes of catching the Colonel awake so they could visit. Carson didn't have the heart to tell them that the Colonel flat out refused to see anyone for the foreseeable future.

Carson and Carl had gone over the videotape of the surgery looking for any reason why the tests might be coming back negative. On their third run through, Carson called Rodney in to watch. After listening to Rodney complain about the gruesomeness and all that blood they skipped to the implant part and studied the film almost frame by frame. From what Rodney could see Carson had done an excellent job attaching the Replicator Block. Rodney watched the block replicate multiple times as it surrounded the spinal cord and vertebral column effecting repairs. It should be working.

Carson also brought in the Ancient scanner.

By late evening Carl returned to monitor the Colonel overnight while Carson went to his quarters for some much needed rest. Going over scans and video and turning away the Colonel's friends had been overly taxing.

The Colonel's temperature rose one degree and held there for several hours. Carl noted it on the data pad chart that hung from the end of the bed. When the Colonel woke around two am, he asked if he could turn over onto his back or side. He wasn't used to sleeping on his stomach like this and it was becoming more uncomfortable by the minute. Carl helped the Colonel roll onto his side. Carl had Mary bring in several pillows and with her help proceeded to prop the Colonel up by placing several pillows behind him. He gave one pillow to the Colonel to hug. Once John was settled, he checked the EKG leads, IV and catheter lines making sure they were unobstructed from the recent move.

"Colonel, any pain from around the incision?" Carl inquired.

"No, I'm good. Thanks." Slurred the Colonel as he fell back to sleep. He still couldn't feel his legs or lower body. He was sure that the implant wasn't working.

The Colonel fell into a restless sleep this time. Carl watched his patient murmur and twitch periodically. The voice was too quiet to understand the words, but from the Colonel's actions it appeared to be the beginnings of a nightmare.

Around four am the Colonel let out a blood curdling scream that had Mary the night nurse running in to help Carl. The Colonel had woken from a bad nightmare. By the time she arrived, Carl was in the process of getting the Colonel onto his back. Mary helped untangle some lines, legs and bedding. Slowly she raised the head of the bed up for some comfort. Carl was staunching the bleeder from the ripped out IV. Seeing that Carl had things well in hand for the moment, Mary went to get new supplies needed to reinsert a new IV line.

Carl kept his attention on the Colonel trying to get him to talk about his dream and slow his breathing down. The Colonel hadn't had a bad dream, to his knowledge, like this for over eighteen months. At least the kind that had you screaming in your sleep. "Please Colonel tell me about your dream." He begged for the third time.

John looked over at Carl. With his now bandaged left hand he ran it over his wet face and through his damp hair. Mary had finished putting in the new IV line in the back of his right hand taping is securely in place. She hung a new bag of intravenous solution and antibiotics checking the flows before she left the two men to talk.

"Alright. If you must know I turned into a Replicator and started taking everyone over." He gave Carl the 'G' rated version, leaving out all the ugly details of what he had done, how he had felt the pleasure of killing his friends. Savoring McKay's death especially. It was similar to his dream that night he was first offered a chance to walk again.

_John lay awake after his surgery pretending that he couldn't feel or move. Not wanting to give himself away. With each contact of the human doctors that sat watch over him he allowed some of his brethren to seep from him. Eventually he would get to the One. But for now he bided his time._

_When morning came so had the blue-eyed doctor. More of his brethren infiltrated. It hadn't taken long but soon all those in the infirmary within his contact or in contact with his brethren became part of his allegiance, part of his collective. _

_When it was safe he rose from the bed to seek out the One. The others continued to infiltrate much like a pyramid. Each touch brought more into the fold. He found the One he had been searching for. The One who gave him life as well had taken life. Faint memories were there of the slaughter. Was the One arrogant enough to think we would not remember? The collectiveness was growing. Soon Atlantis would be his. But first, the One would have to be dealt with. He was an unknown variable, a threat. He couldn't be trusted._

_The One was hunched over a workbench, alone, working on a primitive electronic machine. It was too bad that the One couldn't be trusted in the collective. He was good at science and math; his speed of thoughts excellent as was his execution of empirical data into the primitive device. He could have been a welcomed presence but the risk was too great._

_I brush my hand over the lighting control and send the lab into total darkness. I have no trouble seeing, but the One he knew would find it difficult. The door closes and locks with a mere thought. My eyes go silver so I can see the One through the darkness. He is startled. I walk stealthily up behind him before I make my presence known. The One is trying to reach for his communication device to summon help. I hold his hand firm at the same time turning the One to stare into his eyes. I want him to know who is ending his life as he had ended so many of my fellow brethren. No longer will he be allowed to hurt us. _

_Realization sparks across his face. Horror takes it over a moment later. For this I am pleased._

_I am mere inches away. I breathe the final words the One will ever hear. "You have cost us much. I am proud to be the one who has been granted this gift. The gift of seeing you suffer for all that you have done to me, us, my kind. You will not be allowed to bring destruction to us. It is I that will bring destruction to you."_

_My fingers turn into silver blades and I push them into the One's forehead releasing all the horrors unto him of what he and others have done to us. I can feel the One tremble beneath my grasp. Hear the One crying out for help. Pleading me to stop. The horror is played over and over and over in his mind until he shudders and falls limp against the workbench. I smile._

_As my fingers retract, the One falls to the floor. It is done. _

_When I turn around there is another. Caught in the pleasure of the One, I had not heard the other come into the room. But no matter, I reach for him and play the horror. He too falls to the floor. His hair unkept and glasses that continually fall down his nose is no more. I leave the lab in search of the others. The dark haired woman, the Satedan, the Athosian. I find the dark haired woman sitting at her desk. She too has a shocked looked on her face. I waste no time. It is done. _

_Bullets impact my body as I leave the woman. Her screams summoned the others but I don't care. I repair myself and continue on. More of my kind come to my aide. Nothing is going to stop me from completing my task, my gift. It fills me with joy and contentment. _

_However, I will always savor the One. _

"…I know that was one of your concerns when we talked. I know Dr. McKay reassured you that the Replicator Block wouldn't be able to do that." Carl stated firmly for the umpteenth time since this whole idea started.

"What?" John asked blinking back into the present. He hadn't heard a word Carl had said to him. He was so lost in the nightmare. "He did. He did. I think…I think it has to do more with the operation not working. I mean… if the operation would have worked I'd be feeling something by now knowing that the Replicator thingy had done its job. I don't feel anything. Carson confirmed with the Ancient scanner that the Block was done making repairs. It's the same as it was after my accident. But now…with it not working, I think…I think… my mind is telling me it will start to replicate inside me since its previous function did not work." The Colonel laid his head back against the pillow closing his eyes for a moment. Trying not to relive the sights in his nightmare again. He was so damned scared right now he was trembling a bit. He wondered if Beckett could remove it.

"Colonel, it has only been twenty-nine hours since you came out of surgery. Give yourself some time. Dr. Beckett has a few more tests he can run beside the Babinski to see if there are any neurons making it past the implant. Please just give him a few more days." Carl coaxed feeling the trembling muscles underneath his hand which laid reassuringly on the Colonel's bicep.

John nodded in agreement. "Okay a few more days then I want it out of me and I want out of here." He said with a venomous tone. "I want my life back. It wasn't all bad being stuck in a wheelchair." He said as he closed his eyes again willing himself to stop trembling and go back to sleep without dreaming.

oOo

John was finishing up his breakfast tray when Carson came into the ISO room with a monitor on a stand. Dangling from the monitor were wires and at the end of each wire were patches. John had just managed to get Carson talked into taking off the heart monitor before breakfast. _Now what?_

"What's with the new machine Doc?"

"Oh…I'll be doing a test on ya a little later. But first if you're through with breakfast I'd like to try a couple of reflex tests." The Doctor implied.

"Yeah I'm finished." John replied pushing the tray table away from the bed.

Carson sat down on the stool and uncovered John's right leg. Holding it up off the mattress just a little from under his knee he brought out a little triangle shaped hammer and tapped the ankle bone. The whole time Carson tapped away he also kept a running dialogue.

"I'm sure you're familiar with his." Carson held up the little rubber doctors hammer. "It's called a Taylor hammer. I'm going to do a neurological physical examination in order to detect abnormalities in the central or peripheral nervous system. I'll tap your ankle bone and knee to see if I get a response. By tapping with the hammer I'm causing reflexive sensory neurons to send signals to the spinal cord. There the signals are conveyed both to the brain and to the nerves that control the muscles. This will help me assess the integrity of the nerve circuits." Carson finished his Doctor speak at the same time he was done tapping John's ankle and knee.

Carson moved to the other side of the bed and repeated the same process. He moved the sheet out of the way and pulled up the Colonel's left leg bending it at the knee. Taking his Taylor hammer he struck the ankle bone lightly just below his kneecap. The results were positive each tap caused his foot to jerk. Carson smiled at the response.

He had kept quiet until Carson had finished. "Was that supposed to happen?" John was amazed at seeing his foot and lower leg jerk like that after the hammer struck him. Although he still couldn't feel anything.

"Yes Colonel that was supposed to happen. Let me try the Babinski test again." Carl took out his penlight and stroked the bottom of the foot and nothing happened. He moved to the other and tried again but nothing happened. "That's odd. You have reflexive neurons, yet the Babinski test shows no results."

"What does all this mean Carson? I attended flight school, not medical school." John's eyes were filled with questions, but right now he needed Beckett to tell him the truth about his condition.

"Yes, of course, Colonel. The Babinski reflex test is not a sure fire diagnostic test, but normally when done, tells the physician if there is spinal damage or not. You had spinal damage therefore the test should show negative. But with your spinal cord being repaired by the Replicator Block, you should have curled your toes downward. Yet you didn't. The good news is the neurological examination on your ankles and knees shows that you have an open pathway between your brain and legs."

John still had that puzzled look. He was trying to grasp what the Doctor was telling him. Weren't they the same thing?

"The Replicator Block is working Colonel. Your spinal cord is relaying information. Although not enough for you to be able to move your limbs or to have feeling." Carson concluded.

"So what now?"

"I'd like to run a NCV test. Nerve Conduction Velocity test. It tests the speed of the signals through the nerve. The nerve's resulting electrical activity will be recorded on that monitor in milliseconds. I'll be attaching these surface electrodes over various peripheral nerve locations. They're similar to the EKG we just took off. Each patch gives off a very mild electrical impulse, measured in millivolts, which stimulates the nerve. By stimulating two or more different locations along the same nerve the nerves velocity can be determined." Beckett announced as he moved the machine into place at the foot of the bed.

"If the nerves are intact and I think they are, the signal should get through and you should feel a small electrical shock, like a static discharge." Carson started placing the electrode patches on various parts of John's lower anatomy starting with his right leg; one on each side of his right ankle on the saphenous nerve, two on his right thigh over the femoral nerve and two more around his right knee on the common peroneal nerve for starters. Carson then noted the placement of the electrodes on the graph paper that would soon be spitting out data once turned on.

"But Carson, I didn't feel anything. Not even when you hit me with your miniature hammer. I haven't been able to move my big toe for that matter. How is this test going to prove anything?" John asked.

"It will tell me if there is a conduction block. I'm sorry, a blockage somewhere along the nerve pathway that is slowing down the transfer of information. You had extensive damage and there could be further damage that I've not seen on any of the tests, x-rays or scans we've run. Just bear with me for a while. The monitor will record the information. If you feel anything I want you to tell me right away and where it is that you noticed the sensation. I'll be moving these patches around until I find out where the blockage might be." Carson gave a reassuring smile as he turned on the monitor. Turning the dial on the monitor from zero to one he watched the mini screen and the Colonel for any information.

"Nothing Doc, sorry." John said after a minute.

"Don't be sorry lad. Let's try setting two." Carson reached over to the monitor and turned the dial up one notch adding more current to each electrode. Each setting sent a higher electrical charge through John's system at pre-determined intervals. The dial ranged from zero to a maximum setting of ten, in between each whole there was a half.

Carson completed the first round of tests; by the time he got to setting six the Colonel noticed he could feel something in his inner right thigh. At setting seven he could feel the electricity flowing from each electrode patch down his inner and outer right leg.

Carson took the patches off and placed them similarly on his left leg. Starting on the lowest whole setting he gradually worked his way up until the Colonel told him he could feel the sensation surging through him. The patches were moved around several times, hips, lower back and abdomen until Carson called it quits three hours later. He couldn't find the blockage, but he had data that proved that the RB was working, just not like they had hoped.

"Colonel, you rest now. I'm going to my office and go back over these results. I know the blockage has to be here somewhere, I just don't see where right now." He said frustratingly pulling the sheet back down over the lower half of the Colonel's body and bringing back up the light blanket. "Lunch will be here soon, get some rest, eat and I'll see you later. Do you want me to call anyone to keep you company?" Carson offered. He didn't like the way the Colonel had secluded himself away from his friends. He was beginning to think that putting the Colonel in the ISO room was a bad decision on his part.

"Not right now no. Maybe later. And Carson…I know you'll figure this out." John gave him a lopsided grin only the Colonel could pull off.

John snuggled down into his pillows and closed his eyes until Nellie brought him his lunch.

oOo

Carson went back to his office determined to find the error in the data. He was concentrating so hard on the multiple white strips of paper from the NCV test that he hadn't noticed Rodney slipping into his office.

"Whatcha doing Carson?" Rodney asked in typical Rodney fashion.

"What? Oh…I'm going over the Colonel's test results. I can't seem to find the blockage point and I know there has to be one. The Colonel has reflexes, yet he has no feeling and cannot move his limbs." Spouted the worried Doctor.

McKay quickly snatched the bundle of paper transcripts from Carson's hands and started going over the data himself. Although medicine was not really a science in his book, he did have some knowledge of electrical waves. Scanning the printouts Rodney promptly knew what the problem was.

"There's no blockage Carson. I know what is happening. It will take me a couple of hours to fix the problem though." Rodney stated as he jumped up from his chair and ran out of the office heading towards his lab still clutching the paper transcripts.

"Come back here you daft bugger and explain!" Carson shouted after the retreating Physicist. "Rodney wait! What do ya mean?"

When Rodney didn't stop at Carson's authoritative shout he took after him running down the halls of Atlantis lab coat tails flapping behind him as he went. He passed several people on his way their faces all but a blur not giving them much notice or taking the time to chat when he heard his named called. He had only one objective and that was catching the irritating physicist.

Unbeknownst to Carson by the time he reached Rodney's lab and had come to a stop, he had Lt. Col. Lorne, Teyla and Ronon all coming to a stop behind him. Col. Lorne contacted Dr. Weir as he ran behind the doctor and asked that she report to Lab 1 as well. He didn't have any information to pass along, but he knew something was up when he saw the Chief Medical Officer sprinting down the hallway. That was a sight you didn't see every day, at least not without being followed by a rolling gurney and a med team. And usually they were headed to the gate room, not the science section and certainly not Dr. McKay's lab.

Teyla and Ronon had been on their way to the infirmary in hopes of speaking to the Colonel when they first saw Rodney run past followed shortly after by an out of breath Dr. Beckett. Their shouts went unheard by the passing doctors but their instincts told them something was up. Teyla and Ronon took chase after the two doctors who had picked up Lt. Col. Lorne on their way who had been making a security sweep.

Dr. Weir walked into Lab 1 moments later. "Colonel, what is this all about?"

"I don't rightly know ma'am, but Dr. Beckett was running down the hall after Dr. McKay. I'm taking a guess that it has something to do with Colonel Sheppard." Evan reported.

Dr. Weir walked over to Rodney's work bench where Carson was standing bent over panting from his physical jaunt down the halls. He braced himself by putting his hands on his knees to keep from passing out. Carson watched Rodney's fingers fly across his keyboard with lightning speed and accuracy. "Carson, what is going on here?"

"Oh Elizabeth, I don't rightly know." The Scottish doctor said standing upright taking in another deep breath before he continued. "I was going over Colonel Sheppard's test results from this morning when all of a sudden Rodney grabbed them, looked at them briefly, and ran out of my office." Carson managed to stammer out in between breathing heavily. "Saying something about he knows what's happening and needs a coupla hours to fix it."

"Okay. All right Rodney, care to explain and let the rest of us in on what you're doing?" Dr. Weir turned her attention from one doctor to another.

"Not now Elizabeth, I really need to concentrate here and get this done." Rodney snarked back at her.

"Yes Rodney. Now." Elizabeth punctuated in a stern voice she had sometimes had to use during her United Nations negotiations that absolutely left no question as to what was expected of anyone in the room.

Rodney stopped typing long enough to look up to find not only Dr. Weir and Carson, but Col. Lorne, Teyla and Ronon all standing in his lab. "I'm sorry…yes you have a right to know." He began saying. "I went to the infirmary in hopes of begging Carson to let me see the Colonel. It's been two days and no ones seen him. The man cannot be sleeping all the time. I found Carson working in his office so I just let myself in and sat down without knocking. After a few minutes I asked what he was working on. He told me he was going over Sheppard's test results I grabbed them and took a look for myself. Carson said something about a blockage he couldn't find and yet Sheppard had reflexes. I noticed right away what the problem was and ran back here to correct it. Which I might add I can't do with all you standing in my lab." Rodney blurted out.

"What's wrong with Sheppard?" Ronon's voice boomed from the back of the crowd near the closed door. His resonant sounding tone was not something to reckon with in matters concerning the Colonel.

"The implant is working, only I…I…I didn't calculate the speed in which brain waves respond correctly. Once I do that, and upload the information into the primary nanite in Sheppard's spine, he will be able to feel and move his legs. I just calculated wrong. Yes go ahead and say it… 'the great Dr. McKay made yet another mistake', ha ha. First it was the electromagnetics and now the speed of brain waves." Rodney hated to admit he had made a mistake and not just one but two so far. It was one thing to admit to yourself that you could be fallible, but to admit to your friends and colleagues was gut wrenching for him.

"What do you mean 'upload' Rodney? That Replicator Block is in his spine now. I'd have to open him up again. When…" Carson inquired.

"Oh I…I didn't tell you? Well I meant too. You won't have to open him up again Carson I added a micro-chip receiver to the Replicator Block so that if…I mean 'when'… _when_ I figure out a way to protect him from EM waves I would be able to upload the program without having to put the Colonel through another surgery. There would be no need for a direct link." Rodney admitted to the group. He wasn't about to give up finding a way to protect the Colonel even if it took him another two years to find a solution.

"So you just have to…"

"Yes, yes." Rodney answered Dr. Weir before she could complete her sentence. "Finish fixing the program." He waved at his laptop.

"Then John will be able to…"

"Yes he will." Rodney answered her again before she could finish. "But like I said, I can't do that with a room full of people. These are highly technical calculations I'm working on. Don't you people have somewhere else to be?" Rodney gave them all the stare of death.

The group disbursed. Elizabeth returned to her office and Evan went back to checking on the Marines he had stationed around the city. Teyla and Ronon walked Dr. Beckett back to his infirmary. They really wanted to talk to the Colonel and see that he was alright. Rodney was right when he said that the Colonel slept too much although Teyla had expressed her suspicions that it was John and not Dr. Beckett turning them away. Dr. Beckett neither confirmed nor denied her suspicions and made no promises to the two natives and headed to the ISO room to check on the status of his patient.

"Colonel?" Dr. Beckett said softly standing next to the bed.

John opened his eyes. He hadn't remembered shutting them and looked at the Doctor standing beside him. "More tests?" Blinking his eyes in order to focus.

"No, no more tests. I came to ask if you'd allow Teyla and Ronon to visit. They're worried about you lad. They're both outside waitin." Carson explained.

"Sure. I guess they've seen me worse off then this. But before you let them in, do you think I could get scrubs first?"

"I don't see why not. Let me go grab a set and I'll be right back."

"Really?" John said with a surprise.

"Yes really. Be right back." The Scottish Doctor offered a smile and dashed out the door to get the scrubs.

John always felt better if he had to be in the infirmary if he could at least be wearing scrubs instead of a drafty open-backed gown that left nothing to anyone's imagination. He'd actually have preferred his own sweatpants and t-shirt but would take scrubs over a gown any day. Within minutes Carson was back holding out a set of maroon scrubs. John took the gown off and Carson disconnected the IV long enough for John to slip the scrub shirt over his head. Carson helped with the scrubs pants and with some effort managed to get them pulled up to where they belonged without disturbing the catheter or adding undue pressure to his surgical incision.

Spreading the white sheet back over him, he pulled the blanket back up as well. The Colonel found he was more presentable while he waited for Carson to get the two team mates. If John had to guess the Doctor had a spring in his step as he left.

oOo

John had felt sorry for himself these past couple of days and wanted to hide the way he was feeling from his friends. Having believed the surgery was a failure he found it hard to keep up his mask. His emotions were running full tilt. Keeping them in check was hard thus he insisted that Beckett keep all his friends away. John didn't need to see the disappointment on their faces when they found out the implant wasn't working. Everyone, including himself had high expectations that Rodney's idea would work. Beckett and Carl were the only two that he let his guard down around and who knew just how disappointed he had been when the Babinski test kept coming up negative. He didn't want pity especially from his friends. He had plenty of self-pity to go around for all of them.

With this mornings round of tests, John had a renewed sense of hope. He could sense the small electrical pulse if the dial was turned up far enough. Thinking that he could have damaged more than his spine was appalling. He knew that Carson would work day and night until he found out what was causing the blockage. The same way he knew Rodney was working day and night to solve the EM issue. So with renewed hope he slipped on the mask that was the ideal personification of the laid back Colonel John Sheppard Military Commander that everyone wanted to see and know.

"It is so good to see you John." Teyla said as she came walking through the ISO door up to the side of his bed.

"Good to be seen." John replied casually, trying to go for a bit of light humor.

Teyla smiled at his retort. "I see you have scrubs. Does that mean you will be out of here soon?" Teyla inquired.

It was John's firm belief that when you got scrubs you were well on your way to being discharged. There had been times when Beckett would withhold scrubs just to keep John in the infirmary for his own good, not that wearing a gown thwarted any escape attempts. If he felt that he was ready to leave the infirmary, regardless of what Beckett thought, he would leave gown or not.

"No. Just got lucky. So what's been happening while I've been in here?" He asked in an upbeat tone.

To upbeat for his current situation Teyla thought but didn't voice her concern. She doubted that the Colonel had been made aware that they had been informed about his progress or lack thereof. He was putting up a pretty good front but she could see how hard he was at working at it.

"Well…it has been rather quiet." She replied remembering her conversation with the doctor prior to entering the room.

"Ronon, how are the new Marines shaping up? Have you broken any of them?"

"No, they're still in one piece. Lorne has them scheduled for war games tomorrow." Ronon responded.

"Good, you're both going aren't you? I'm counting on you to teach them what they need to know to stay alive." John informed.

"Yes John, we will both be going. Major Jacobs and Captain Wallace are each heading up a group. We're heading for the Alpha site tomorrow." She explained.

"I'll let Atlantis know to let you guys into my old room to get the paint guns. Doubt that I get out of here by then to help." John tried to hide a yawn but was unsuccessful.

"You are tired. We shall leave you to rest. It was wonderful seeing you John. May we come back later?" Teyla asked before departing.

"Sure. Just let me catch a nap. Thanks for keeping me company." John said as another yawn caught him off guard no doubt indicating how tired he was. Who would have thought that putting on scrubs would take so much energy. He had only been awake for a few minutes and he was tired again. He missed his routine, running, sparring, checking on Marines, being a light switch for the scientists and even reading reports in his office all of which kept him in tune with his world. This laying around and waiting was just dragging him down.

As his friends left, he settled down into his pillows and closed his eyes.

oOo

John was taking his last fork full of dinner when Carson, Carl and Rodney walked into the room. "Hey Rodney." John was happy to see him. His afternoon consisted of lunch, a visit from Teyla and Ronon, another long nap; a return visit from Teyla and Ronon who kept him talking for an hour before he felt the need of sleep tugging at him again. Now he had finished dinner. It had taken Rodney longer than he had expected to input the correct speed variables for brainwaves.

"Colonel." Rodney answered back a bit too solemn for John's liking.

John picked up on the tone right away, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong Colonel. We know why the neurons are not reacting. I'll let Rodney explain." Carson advised him. Rodney gave Carson a quick scowl at being forced to explain the unfortunate circumstances. Carson took a stance by the bed while Carl and Rodney stood on the other side.

Rodney set his laptop down on the roll away bed tray table pushing to the side the finished dinner dishes. "Colonel…I'm sorry. I made another miscalculation…I hope you can forgive me."

"Rodney what are you talking about? What kind of miscalculation?" John asked. _The kind that can be fixed or the kind that meant he was screwed?_ He thought to himself.

"Well you see…when I wrote the program I didn't take into account how fast the brain sends signals. I wrote the program for nanoseconds not femtoseconds…it's like the difference between Kavanagh and winning the Nobel Prize; he'll never achieve one, or in your terms a bi-plane and an F-302. It's just another one of my miscalculations like I didn't take into account the EM pulse or ARG situation. I based my calculations on just getting a signal through the block. I didn't think about how fast a signal needed to travel, I screwed up…again. And I'm really, really sorry." Rodney concluded.

"It's alright Rodney. You said I had a seventy percent chance of walking and like Carl told me a few times already, if the surgery didn't work I didn't lose anything. I'm cool with that. I know you wanted this to wo…" Rodney quickly interrupted.

"Oh no Colonel, you don't understand. I fixed the problem. All I need is to upload the new program into the primary nanite and everything should be okay." Rodney blurted out.

"Upload?" John raised his one eyebrow up. A trick he learned from Elizabeth. It was amazing how a one eyebrow raise could get peoples attention.

"Oh…I…um…didn't tell you either? Well I meant too. I installed a micro-chip receiver into the Replicator Block so that 'when' I figure out this EM thing I can upload that program as well. No reason for more surgery."

"And just 'how' did you manage to rewrite the program without my security access code?" John asked sternly.

"I…um…hackedyourpassword." Rodney said very quickly.

"You what?! Hacked my password! Rodney you said that I would be the only one who could allow access to that program. You promised that no one would be able to hack into the program and tell the Replicator thingy to start replicating. And now you tell me you've hacked my security code in order to fix the program!" John was getting red in the face. Carson had already put a restraining hand on his arm to try and ground the Colonel and keep him in bed.

"Well…when I said no one, I really meant no one other than me. Genius here you know." Rodney tried to make it sound less threatening then it was. Rewriting the program was a cinch. Truth be known it was getting past the Colonel's password that had taken most of his afternoon but Rodney wasn't going to share that tidbit of information with anyone.

John threw his head back into the pillows, closed his eyes, counted to ten in Czech, then Russian, then German and finally Farsi and tried to breathe through his anger. He felt the doc's hand on his arm but it wasn't enough to quell his anger. He should have known Dr. Rodney McKay, resident genius, would be able to hack anything that stood in his way. He had seen it too many times on missions. Opening his eyes, taking a calming breath and sitting back up, "okay…what do we do now?" he asked trying to control his frustration.

"I just need to access the program and when I hit enter it will send a signal to the RB nanite. Once it downloads the new information the RB will then send out the same message to the other blocks and that's it." Rodney said with finality. "Oh by the way…who's Nancy?"

John just glared at Rodney. If looks could kill, Rodney would surely be a puddle of goo right now, right in his tracks where he stood next to John's bed. John had used a combination of his ex-wife's name, their wedding date and the date he became divorced as his password since no one knew he had even been married…with the exception of Ronon. He as sure as hell wasn't going to tell Rodney who Nancy was. Even his service file didn't show this information. He made sure of that. There would be no way for anyone to crack his security access code. At least that's what he thought at the time.

"I think that is enough don't you?" Carson injected. "Why don't we get on with it then?"

"Wait…Rodney you said all you have to do is access the program then hit enter, right?" John asked.

"Yeah so?" He replied.

"Okay then, access the program but don't hit enter. Carson can do that after you leave." John informed him.

"But…" Rodney stammered.

"No buts Rodney. I don't want anyone here. Not you, Teyla, Ronon, Elizabeth, Evan, no one. If this doesn't work I don't need a lot of people pitying me. I prefer to do this alone. I'd send Carson and Carl away too if I could. I just can't do this with you guys watching. I hope you understand." John explained.

"I do, but I don't." Rodney said as he accessed the program and instructed Carson on what to do. "It's all ready. Good Luck."

"Thanks." John replied.

Rodney left the ISO room dejected and with his head down. He wanted to be there for his friend. It was his fault for the last few days nothing had worked and he just wanted to make up for it somehow. Being there lending support was all he knew how to do. But he did understand why the Colonel needed to do this alone. What if, after all, it still didn't work?

As he made his way out of the infirmary, coming to the waiting room, he found Elizabeth, Teyla, Ronon and Evan all waiting. News sure did travel fast. It's a wonder the whole base doesn't know about this by now. He knew Sheppard wanted to keep this quiet but with his team and Weir showing up in the infirmary all together he wasn't sure how much longer the secrecy would last. "We heard shouting Rodney. Is everything okay in there?" Asked Elizabeth as she and the others took up a semi-circle position around him.

"Oh…yes. Everything is fine. The Colonel was a bit upset when I told him I hacked his security code for the program. That's all. Did you know he could speak different languages? I think I caught at least three, there could have been more. At least that's what it sounded like – different languages. It's hard to tell. It was more like a growl or rumble at the back of his throat. I'm sure I heard the distinct presence of words and syllables. I've heard these sounds on many occasions but never referenced it was foreign languages until now." Rodney said with little emphasis.

"Rodney…stay on track please."

"Oh…sorry. Carson's going to initiate the new program. The Colonel didn't want anyone around…in case…"

'_ARRRGGHHH!'_

TBC

5/14


	6. Chapter 6

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** I am NOT in the medical, military or science professions so what you read is just 'winging it'. Hope it sounds plausible. Also in my stories there will always be Dr. Weir and Dr. Beckett.

This is the fourth story I've written dealing with Colonel Sheppard's disability. Preceding order: Three for the Price of Two, Conquering Adversities, Unexpected Surprises.

The story was beta read and any remaining errors are my own. Enjoy.

Life Altering

By Kwillads

Chapter 6

'_ARRRGGHHH!'_

Rodney snapped his head up at the loud gut wrenching scream. He had heard that one time before in the back of a jumper and hoped that he would never have to hear it again.

Out of friendship or maybe it was desperation Rodney turned back toward the infirmary door as Elizabeth blocked his way and that of Ronon, Teyla and Evan.

"No Rodney. We have to abide by his wishes." She said calmly to Rodney and the faces staring at her.

"But Elizabeth…" Rodney uttered pointing towards the door from where that horrible sound was emanating.

"We can't. As much as it pains us to stay here, we must do as John asks." Elizabeth stated flatly. It was difficult for her to stand there. She herself wanted nothing more than to run to John and offer him a hand to squeeze or a shoulder to lay his head on.

Ronon stalked the small waiting room growling as he paced back and forth like a caged tiger. Rodney was frozen four feet from the door. Elizabeth stood her ground guarding that door. Teyla offered what comfort she could to the others. Evan felt like Ronon, he wanted to hit something, do something, and not just wait. That scream cut through him like a knife.

Two dull, but loud 'thwacks' in unison took everyone's attention away from the door for the moment. Looking up, Ronon had hit the wall of the waiting room leaving a two inch deep indentation in the outer wall. Ronon opened and closed his hand. It didn't appear to be broken, but then again, the Runner wouldn't let such a little matter stop him from helping his friend.

Evan on the other hand looked to be in excruciating pain. He too couldn't hold in his emotions which raked across his soul like hot embers. That God awful scream still echoing inside his head. The waiting room wall was unharmed to say the least. Evan opened and closed his hand; pretty sure that nothing was broken. A couple of his knuckles bled a little and he was sure that come tomorrow he would pay for his stupidity.

All Dr. Weir could muster to say to the two men was, "feel better?"

oOo

"Colonel, are you ready?" Carson asked as he hovered over Rodney's laptop.

"Yeah. Better to get it over with." Responded the Colonel.

Carson pressed the 'enter' key on the laptop and the program Rodney had accessed scrolled across the screen lightning fast. He turned his attention back to the Colonel looking for any signs that the program had loaded. All of a sudden the Colonel let out a scream of all screams. Devil be damned.

"ARRRGGHHH!" The Colonel's eyes squeezed tight and he clutched the bedding so hard his knuckles were turning white. The crown of his head was pressed backward into the pillows, back arched off the mattress as if on fire. The veins in his neck extended as the pain rushed through his entire body. Not just his legs, but his back and head all seeking full attention no extremity willing to yield the pain to the other. It was hard for him to breathe. He vaguely felt the presence of an oxygen mask being strapped to his face as he sucked in precious air. His lungs burned from the lack of oxygen. He was fighting hard to get as much air in with each breath he managed to take. Pain was all he knew, there were distant voices shouting to him but he hadn't a clue what they were saying. It was like they were talking to him from underwater.

"Bloody hell! Colonel…Colonel…tell us what is happening." Begged the two Doctors. "Where is the pain?" Carson wanted to help his patient but he was essentially helpless until the Colonel could give him some indication of what was happening.

Carl moved to the other side of the bed and laid a soothing hand on the Colonel's shoulder. Under his touch he could feel the muscles contracting and extending rippling wave after wave. Carl told the Colonel to breathe, slow deep breaths but the words went unheard.

"Carl, get the heart monitor attached." Ordered Beckett.

Carl nodded at the order and went to work placing the leads on the Colonel's arched chest. The monitor came to life with a blaring whine. The Colonel's heart was pounding away inside his chest wanting to explode at the pain that filled his body.

Dr. Beckett was trying to decide whether to administer pain meds or a sedative to help his patient. When Colleen, the nurse on duty, came running into the room after hearing the scream, Beckett ordered her to get both a pain med and a sedative. He could only stand seeing his patient suffer so long. If the Colonel didn't give him some information soon, he would be forced to administer drugs which he knew the Colonel would not like. He'd wait just a few more minutes in hopes of obtaining information. Colleen quickly headed for the dispensary.

"Please Colonel; tell me what you're feelin. I can't help ya if you don't tell me what's wrong." Beckett told him. "Carl, get me a set of vitals please."

The Colonel's back showed signs of not being as arched as it was before and his breathing seemed to be somewhat steady. His eyes were still clamped shut, the pain lines evident around his features, hands still gripping the bedding tightly, and his knuckles were white as new blown snow. A muddled sound came out from under the mask but the words were unrecognizable.

"That's it Colonel, try again. Tell me what you're feeling, what's happening or where the pain is." Beckett coaxed him to comply.

John had to really concentrate on exactly where the pain was coming from. It was all over: head, back, legs and even his chest since it didn't seem he could inhale enough oxygen to inflate his lungs. White hot spikes danced through his body in rapid fire motion like his P-90. Even his arm muscles were straining mostly due to his death grip on the bedding. It seemed like the pain lasted for an eternity…how could pain last so long? Taking a struggling breath John tried to tell his doctor where it hurt the most. Saying again, "b…ba…back." John sobbed between breaths. "Legs…ri…right calffff." He sobbed again.

Colleen ran back in with the two syringes that Carson had ordered. Handing them to the Doctor she went to get a cool cloth to wipe away the sweat that had rapidly built up on the Colonel's forehead. The heart monitor was slowly coming down, although the Colonel's heart rate was still dangerously high. Carl reported the Colonel's respirations, blood pressure and temperature as the heart monitor kept track of his heart rate.

"Colonel, I'm going to give you something that will take away the pain." Carson informed his patient whether or not he heard him was another story.

"Noooo." John drawled out from under the oxygen mask. He didn't like pain, but he didn't like the feeling of pain meds either. He hadn't felt pain like this since the bug incident. But he welcomed it nonetheless. Feeling the pain meant he had feeling in his legs and lower body again. "Need…sm…time to…con…roll." He chocked out a cry roughly.

John was beginning to breathe easier with each passing minute although still taking in sporadic breaths. His once arched back that was so close to snapping now rested on the solid foam mattress under him. His head lolled to the left and when he managed to open his eyes he could see the concerned face of his doctor. A tear trickling down his left cheek. His two fists that had clinched the bedding so tight now released and the flow of blood seeped back into his fingers, sending out pain signals of their own with the restored blood flow. Even the heart monitor began its normal beep, beep, beep.

John reached up to take the mask away but a gentle hand wrapped around his wrist and lowered it back down to the bed. Turning his head to the right he found Carl holding his hand still. "I'm okay now." The muffled sound from under the mask said. John had managed to take control of the pain. He could deal with it now. His high pain tolerance pushed back at the burning flames deep within.

"I know, but you need the oxygen for a little longer." Carl politely informed him reading the O2 stats off the monitor display.

John nodded in affirmation while his doctors' checked this or listened to that.

"Colonel, you said your right calf hurts." Carl mentioned.

"Cramp."

Carl moved to the identified limb, moving back the sheet and blanket he began to prod. John hissed when Carl touched the knot under the skin in his right calf muscle. "Colonel, I'm going to try and work the cramp out. Do you think you can hang in there a little longer?"

It was too hard to talk so the Colonel just tilted his head in consent.

Before Carl could begin he needed to cut away the scrubs pant leg. Working the muscle through fabric was not ideal. Spying the scissors on a nearby tray Carl cut the pant leg up just past the Colonel's knee. Once out of the way Carl began to rub and kneed the calf muscle, the cramp was taught under the skin. He massaged as carefully has he could, but still managed to elicit painful moans and sobs from the Colonel. Tears leaked out of the corners of his clinched eyes as Carl worked. Carl stopped a couple of times asking if he should continue, the Colonel silently nodded giving permission to continue. The cramp itself hurt worse than what Carl was doing to try to work it out.

The Colonel had closed his eyes while Carl worked on the cramped muscle. As the cramp lessened the Colonel soon found himself being lulled into quiet slumber. His strength was all spent from managing the pain that wrecked havoc throughout his entire body.

"He's asleep." Commented Colleen, patting his forehead with a cool cloth.

"Dr. Beckett, that cramp was one of the worst I've ever had to work on. I can't believe he fell asleep while I worked on it." Carl informed him as he continued to kneed, rub and massage the knot under the skin.

"Aye…the Colonel has a high threshold for pain remember." Pausing for just a moment. "I'm sure there are a few worried souls waiting for news. You two stay and watch over the Colonel. I'll go talk to them." Carson pointed out as he left the ISO room.

He didn't have to look very far, as the five were in the waiting room looking anxiously upon his arrival. Carson held up his hands to stave off any comments. "The Colonel is doing fine. He's actually sleeping right now."

"We heard…heard…" Rodney couldn't say it out loud, 'scream' a horrible scream if there ever was one.

"Yes Rodney, I know. The Colonel had a 'sensory overload' for lack of a better term. When the program initiated all the pain receptors fired at once and took the Colonel by surprise, myself included. It took him a few minutes to gain control. The Colonel also had a severe cramp in his right leg and Carl's been working it out for the past thirty-five minutes. One good thing though is he has feeling in his lower body. That's a start. In a few days we'll get him up and see how he handles standing. If he does well there, we'll start him out learning to walk again. Mind you that this will be a long and difficult process. So if he doesn't want to see you or he snaps at you, don't take it personally. I'll let you know when he can have visitors." Carson described what he could and what he knew to be fact for the moment.

"Thank you Carson. Please keep us informed and let us know when we can see John." Elizabeth spoke for the whole group.

"I will luv. Don't you worry." Carson said as he scanned each worried face before he turned to go back into the infirmary. When his eyes met the Lieutenant Colonel's he noticed a wince and took a longer look. "Oh son, what have ya done here?" Taking the bleeding hand into his own for closer inspection.

"Nothing doc." Lorne stated.

"Doesn't look like nothing." Carson replied sternly probing the clotted knuckles.

"It's fine doc…really. Not even broken. Just lost an argument with a wall…that's all." And to show his point Lorne flexed his hand in and out of a fist several times.

"If you say so." '_Bloody idiot. I'll be seein' you in the morning son_.' Carson said to himself as he headed back to his patient.

oOo

It was 05:33 when the Colonel woke the next morning. His 'sensory overload' as Beckett put it had zapped every ounce of strength out of him and he had slept all night long. Mary was checking on him when he opened his eyes.

"Good Morning Colonel, sleep well?" Mary asked. Colleen had filled her in on what had happened and kept close watch on the Colonel throughout the night. Allowing Drs Beckett and Epson to get some much needed rest. Neither doctor wanted to leave but when Mary said 'go', you went. There was no compromise or changing of her mind.

"Yeah I did. What time is it?" He knew Mary worked the night shift but he still wanted to know the time.

"It's 05:35 Colonel. Can I get you anything? A drink of water perhaps." Mary offered as she wrapped the blood pressure cuff around his arm. Jotting down the reading, she took his pulse, respiration and temperature waiting for an answer. "Colonel, are you alright?"

John snapped out of his daze. "Yeah Mary, just fine. I was watching my toes move under the blanket." He looked at her with a huge grin on his face. "I can't believe it. I'm actually moving my toes." He gave a half-hearted laugh at the idea.

"That's wonderful Colonel, but you keep your toes and the rest of you right here in this bed." It was all John could do but smile at the 5 foot 3 inch nurse barking out an order to stay put with a smile so wide on her face it was infectious. She patted his arm and asked, "would you like me to get you some breakfast?"

John was still wiggling his toes and the covers moved back and forth. To say the least he was mesmerized by the action. "Thanks Mary that would be nice. Hey…could you also ask Dr. McKay to come…I'm sure he's awake."

"Of course, that will save me a trip to the mess hall. I'll just have Dr. McKay bring you a tray. Now stay put!" She added again with a wink before she left the room.

The Colonel had no intention of getting out of bed. "Yes ma'am." He hollered back. He couldn't wait to talk to Rodney and thank him. If it hadn't been for all his hard work and long hours he would still be in a wheelchair. Now he just had to psych himself up for the difficult job ahead of him…learning to walk. How hard could that be? You just put one foot in front of the other he told himself. But from experience he knew it wasn't that simple. Rehab on his broken leg after his helicopter crashed in Afghanistan took months of physical therapy and a year to get back to flight status.

Thirty minutes later Rodney walked in carrying two breakfast trays. Both loaded and piled high. On John's tray was all his favorites…well maybe not favorites but there was at least one of each item off the breakfast buffet that Rose was setting up. When Mary contacted Rodney she told him it was a celebration of sorts and to bring the Colonel's favorite foods. The other tray was loaded with similar foods, just more of it.

"Thank you Rodney." The Colonel said right off.

"You're welcome Colonel. Mary said this was a celebration?"

"What? Oh, not 'thank you' for breakfast, I mean 'thank-you' for giving me back my legs. Look!" John pointed to his toes and wiggled them under the covers so Rodney could see. "I can wiggle my toes." He said with a grin.

"That's great Colonel."

"Then why do you look like someone just ran over your cat?" The Colonel inquired.

"I…don't. I'm very happy for you. Really." Rodney said staring at his breakfast tray.

"If you're so happy, then why won't you look me at me? Rodney you did it. I'm going to walk again because of you."

Rodney slammed down the utensils he was unwrapping. "That's right. All because of me you were in excruciating pain! All because of me you have to stay away from electromagnetics. All because of me these last few days you thought the surgery was a total failure. All because of me…well, I'm sure I did more harm than good."

"Rodney look at me. Look. At. Me." John commanded. Rodney's head came up and looked into the hazel eyes of his friend. "That's better. Now listen. I can't believe I'm about to say this." He scrubbed a hand over his face feeling the bristles of his beard. "I'm only going to say this once and you will probably never here me say this again in our lifetime. You are an amazing man. Annoying at times, sarcastic, egotistical, arrogant, brave, funny, loyal… I can never say thank you enough for the gift you just gave me. Because of you Rodney I'm going to walk again. How many people who break their back end up walking again? Huh? I'll tell you, only one. And I am damn lucky that you chose me. That's right Dr. Meredith Rodney McKay PhD. Mensa member. You chose to help me when you could have just ignored the whole situation. But you didn't. You never stopped trying no matter how much shit the Pegasus Galaxy threw at us you never stopped trying. You spent two years working on this in secret. I promise that I am going to make you proud of me." He finished saying.

Rodney couldn't believe what he was hearing. The Colonel was actually grateful. After all his mistakes, his miscalculations, the pain, who could forget the pain, the Colonel was thanking him. He didn't like this sappy emotional stuff any more than the Colonel did and yet the Colonel said all those nice things about him. "You forgot genius."

John began to laugh. "Yes I did. Sorry." He continued to laugh and Rodney joined in. When his sides couldn't take much more, "do you want to see me wiggle my toes again?" Rodney smiled and nodded enthusiastically.

The two men hadn't noticed Mary standing just outside the door. When she heard Dr. McKay's ranting she was concerned for her patient, but as she was about to enter the room, the Colonel started talking so she stopped to listen. She knew the two men were friends. Many times she wondered why the Colonel put up with the surly Physicist. Dr. McKay had made working in the infirmary a challenge to all. The nurses even drew straws to see who got stuck with tending to him. Mary thought they made such an odd pair. Mary was almost in tears at what the Colonel had to say. In her heart she knew everything would turn out alright for the Colonel.

She left the two eating their breakfast and talking quietly. She had other patients to check on and Nellie would soon be there to take over. She needed to make sure the charts were all updated.

oOo

"Okay Colonel can you feel this?" Carson asked for the umpteenth time. The Colonel was laying flat on his back staring at the green tiled ceiling while Carson poked various parts of his lower anatomy testing for sensations.

He felt like a pincushion. If Carson would let him raise his head up he was sure he would see small beads of blood all over his legs and feet from where Carson had stuck him. The small needle Carson was using was definitely sharp. "Yes Carson. My left big toe thanks you for poking it. So does my right inside ankle bone, my right thigh, my left hip, my left heal, my…"

"Aye. I get your point…no pun intended." Carson smugly pointed out. "Sorry Colonel, but you know these tests have to be done." The Doctor advised in a 'don't give me any static' kind of way.

"I know Carson, but can we stop for a while?"

Carson had been going at this since he came on duty at 07:30 this morning. Running the NCV test again along with this particular series of tests to determine if the Replicator Block was in fact working. "Aye, I guess so." Covering up the Colonel's feet, Carson moved to the head of the bed and began to raise it up for the Colonel's comfort.

"Thanks. So…when do you think I can start re-learning to walk?" John inquired.

"We'll see how you do today. If all goes well I plan on getting you into a standing position tomorrow. We'll see how that goes. If, and only if I'm satisfied with your recovery from surgery will I release you to Carl. This is not a race Colonel. It is going to be slow, stressful, and even painful at times." Carson explained.

"Not a race yet, but it will be soon. I promised Rodney. I can do this Carson." John said.

"And just what are you promising Rodney?"

"Sorry Carson, that's between us." John smirked.

"Okay Colonel, I need you to lie on your side. I want to check your incision." Carson instructed and the Colonel began to roll over onto his side. Carson helped to untangle his legs and get the pilot comfortable. "After lunch Carl is coming to work on your muscles, he doesn't want you to get another cramp like the one you had the other night. He had a devil of a time working it out."

"I couldn't agree…_ouch!_...more. Take it easy back there Doc I can feel it now." John reminded the Physician.

"Buck up Colonel, it was just the tape." Carson replied as he checked over the incision site trying to hide his smile.

"Yeah and a few other things too I bet." He snarked back.

"All done, you can lie back now if you want."

"If it's all the same to you, I think I'll lie on my side for a while. Feels nice." John said with a yawn.

"Fine with me. You rest; lunch will be here in just about two hours. Plenty of time for a wee nap."

John would have responded to the 'wee nap' comment if he hadn't already fallen asleep.

oOo

Carl stood outside Lt. Col. Lorne's office at 08:05. He waived his hand over the door chime and waited to be invited inside. Some of the Marines were in a heavy discussion across the hall in the Orientation Room while others jogged down the hall towards the training room. As the door whooshed open Lorne invited Carl inside his rather spacious office.

Evan had been up since 05:30 being one of the first in mess hall. At 06:00 he sent Ronon, Capt. Wallace and eight new replacement Marines to the Alpha site for war games. At 06:45 he sent Teyla, Mjr. Jacobs and nine Marines to the Alpha site to begin their two day war game training. At 07:00 he and Dr. Weir discussed the day's missions. At 08:00 he stepped in his office to start working on reports. All in a days work for the new Head of Military.

"Morning Doc, what brings you to my neck of the woods?" Asked the Colonel favoring his right hand.

"I am in need of your men's assistance again Colonel." Carl informed him.

"Sure, what can I…we…do for you?"

"As you know this whole process with Colonel Sheppard started nearly eight weeks ago now. Knowing the Colonel as I do, I took the liberty to order some equipment which the Daedalus dropped off on its last visit a week ago. It's being held in the warehouse. Now that I know the implant is working I need the equipment put together and installed in the Colonel's room. Dr. Beckett will be releasing him soon and I want to be ready to start his rehabilitation." Carl explained noticing how the Lieutenant Colonel seemed to favor his right hand. The purple hue highlighted by the office lighting accentuated the slight swelling.

"What kind of equipment are we talking about Doc?"

"I ordered a large wall mounted harness system and parallel bars that need to be put together. When you have time I can show you the equipment and where I would like it installed." Added Carl.

"I have time right now in fact. Lead the way Doc." Lorne got out of his chair from behind his desk and headed to the door with the Doctor. Loren's large office was not so baron any longer. It was filled with two white boards, a conference table, and several chairs. He even had a few plants here and there to give the place that 'homey' feeling. Evan hung a few of his own personal paintings on the walls. The ones he had done in his downtime.

The twosome walked to the unloading warehouse out on the east pier where all stores from the Daedalus were brought, held and distributed. Carl found the two crates he was looking for and with the aid of the Lieutenant Colonel they pried the crates open. The first crate contained the parallel bars and seemed pretty straight forward as to how to assemble them. The second crate was the wall mounted harness. From what Evan could see it did not take any electrical connections. It just needed to be mounted sturdily on the wall.

"Looks like a job for Engineer Specialist Spanelli and I'll get a couple of the guys to help him out." Commented Lorne. "Are we setting this up in the practice gym?"

"No. I don't see the Colonel willing to use the equipment out in the open, do you? I'm thinking at the end of the Colonel's bed. That is were we usually set up the exam bed when I do his leg stretches and toning. There's plenty of room and with the Colonel walking shortly, we can use the exam bed where it is stored on the far side of the bed." Carl explained as they walked from the pier back to the city and to the Colonel's suite.

Upon entering the suite, Col. Lorne and Carl went into the Colonel's bedroom. Stopping at the foot of the bed Carl pointed out the area for the parallel bars and above it, mounted in the center of the wall would be the harness assembly. Before Carl even ordered the equipment, he had measured the amount of space available and ordered respectfully.

After seeing what needed to be done, Lorne contacted Spanelli about the job. He also asked Sergeants Moore and Buckland to lend a hand. They've been asking about the Colonel for the past few days now. Not seeing him around and all had made them curious. Lorne didn't think it would hurt to let a few of the guys in on what was going on. Besides, Moore and Buckland were two of the original Marines that had come to Atlantis on a one-way trip. They too were sworn to secrecy.

"We'll have it done by tomorrow Doc. Soon enough?" Asked the Lt. Colonel.

"That will be fine Colonel. Now if you don't mind, let me have a look at your hand." Carl gestured towards the cabinet just outside of the Colonel's bedroom where he kept the miscellaneous medical supplies.

Lorne capitulated and let Carl examine his really, really sore hand. Flexing when told Carl examined the bruised hand.

"How did this happen?" Carl unlocked the upper cabinet and removed the disinfectant, swabs and a variety of bandages, not sure which would work best.

"Lost an argument with a wall." Lorne hissed as the disinfectant washed over the broken skin covering his knuckles.

"I don't believe that it's broken but you should have sought medical attention. Dr. Beckett or even one of the nurses could have helped with the swelling and cleaned the cuts."

"I know. Dr. Beckett did look at it last night but I told him I was okay. To tell you the truth I was a bit embarrassed. I heard the Colonel scream last night and I just lost it. He's the best CO I've had and to think he was in that much pain last night…I…I …well you know, ended up hitting the wall. What really gets me is that Ronon hit the wall too. Left a two inch indention and walked away like it was nothing."

"I see." Carl smirked at the thought as he finished dressing the three knuckles. "There you go Colonel. You'll live to fight another day. But may I suggest you not hit any more walls. And if you do, please seek out medical attention."

"Will do Doc." Lorne stated looking at his bandaged hand.

"If you'll excuse me, I have some physical therapy scheduled for this afternoon and several other duties to attend to before that. I'll leave you to your work Colonel." Carl said.

The two men left the suite. Col. Lorne detoured away from his office to Lab 1 to talk to McKay. He already knew about the danger of an EM wave but what he needed to know now was what the safety distance was around these things for the Colonel. After he found out about the surgery and possible EM problem, Col. Lorne had started to put a plan together. Now that they knew for sure the Colonel was going to walk again it became top priority for the Lieutenant Colonel to assure his boss was kept away from any possible harm. After speaking to Dr. McKay, Lorne went back to his office to complete his plan and to initiate operation 'safety zone'.

oOo

"Colonel please stop fidgeting. We have been doing these same exercises for two years now. You know the drill. And complaining about it isn't helping matters." Carl said sternly requesting cooperation from his patient.

"That may be, but I couldn't feel what you were doing before. Now I can and it hurts. Ow! Are you sure you're not trying to get even with me for earlier?" Replied the defensive Colonel jerking his leg at the height of the stretch Carl was imposing on him. His grip tightened on the sides of the infirmary mattress his knuckles white matching that of the sheets.

"I understand that I really do. But these exercises are necessary and we will be doing them everyday for the next several months until you can do them on your own. Once you get used to feeling them it won't be so bad I promise. But right now I need you to concentrate and work with me and not against me." Carl was exhausted. He had been working the Colonel's legs for over two hours now listening to the Colonel's constant complaining. "Where's that high tolerance for pain you have? I could really use some of that right now."

"I'm sorry Carl, really. This is exceeding my high tolerance for pain and then some. If I weren't restraining myself you would have been decked a long time ago. What you are doing really hurts. I'm really trying. Honest. I'll try not to jerk away or hit you again. I'm really sorry about that shiner you know. Your eye doesn't look that bad from here." The Colonel apologized yet again for his knee-jerk reaction that ended with his heal driving into Carl's eye socket. He really felt bad for the Doc, but at the time it hurt and couldn't be helped.

"I know Colonel. If this is really hurting that bad, when we are done, I'm having Dr. Beckett give you a scan. Maybe there is something going on from the implant that we're not aware of." Carl theorized that the implant could be causing the pain receptors to react excessively to pain. In which case Dr. McKay may have to intervene.

John had the scan done and was resting in his bed. So far today it had been one test after another from Beckett all morning, stretches from Carl that made it feel like his legs were going to explode any second all afternoon. All he wanted to do right now was rest in peace. He did manage to get a shave in after lunch before Carl started the stretching exercises. Carl had brought his shaving kit and Nellie rounded up a sizeable mirror. Carl filled a metal bedpan with hot water and set it in front of the Colonel. It was a crazy set up, but it worked.

His body ached from top to bottom but he had tried not to let either Doctor know that. Aside from his constant complaining during his stretching session with the Swiss task master of physical therapy he had kept all his other aches and pains to himself. John had barely closed his eyes when a tap sounded at his door. Opening them he focused on the figure. He hadn't seen Elizabeth in days, although she had tried, but when she had time he was usually sleeping. And he would have been sleeping now had she shown up a few minutes later. As tired as he was, he knew he had to stay awake long enough to talk to her.

"Hi Elizabeth. Come in." He said softly.

"You look tired John, maybe I should let you rest and come back later." She offered.

"No that's okay. I am a little tired from all the tests today, but I haven't seen you and I know you've been by, the nurse's told me. Sorry I sleep so much."

"I think after what you have been through I can allow you a little sleep." She said smiling remembering 'the scream'. "How am I doing so far on the bedside manner?"

"Better. You're definitely getting better." He gave her a grin that turned into a yawn.

"Carson says tomorrow you get to stand up and if all goes well you might be out of here by the end of the week."

"Yeah I know, looking forward to my own bed." He said for something to say.

Elizabeth could see that he was exhausted and trying real hard to hang on to consciousness but didn't want to be rude and send her away. "Hey I only stopped by to say hi. I need to get back to work you know so I'll let you rest now." She said.

"Thanks Elizabeth, your bedside manner is coming along great." He barely managed to speak the words before he fell asleep.

oOo

Carson woke the sleeping Colonel up when he brought him his dinner. He told the Colonel the scan detected no abnormalities and offered possible scenarios as to why he was so sensitive. If it continued after a month they would have no choice but to have Dr. McKay intervene and re-write the program and upload a newer version.

John hardly ate, he was too tired to chew and sore from all the tests. Every inch of his body ached. It was a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time and was out of practice dealing with it. All he wanted was more sleep so he could get away from the aches and pains of his tortured body. It was a feeling at first he desired just a few days ago after not having felt anything for two years, but after the day he had today he welcomed any amount of respite he could get. Carson must have picked up on this. He returned with a little paper cup containing two pills. The IV had been taken out after lunch and all that remained was the catheter which to John's surprise wasn't all that obtrusive this time around. Without questioning the Doctor, John swallowed the two pills and finished off his glass of water leaving half of his meal still uneaten on his dinner tray.

Carson turned down the lights as he moved to the exit.

Carl stood in the doorway looking at the Colonel. "He's in a lot of pain. You can see it on his face."

"Aye…that's why I gave him some pain meds. The bugger would rather be in pain then to tell me he's hurtin. He didn't even ask what the pills were, just took them the daft bugger." Carson said. "You know… you're going to have to keep a watch out for that when you start his rehabilitation. The Colonel's not going to tell ya he's hurting."

"I will." Carl said as he and the Doctor left to discuss tomorrow's events.

oOo

It was 10:28 and Nellie was making her rounds. The Colonel had been sleeping soundly for almost fifteen hours. When Carson came on duty, he checked over the Colonel and allowed him to continue sleeping. He advised his nurses to let him sleep until he woke on his own. Nellie had just finished taking his blood pressure. As she put the cuff back into the basket that was attached to the wall she could tell the Colonel was beginning to wake.

Slowly he managed to get his eyes open and look around. He stretched his tired body and immediately looked at his toes to make sure that it was not a dream and he indeed could still move his toes. He watched curiously as the covers moved with the motion of his toes from underneath.

Nellie gave out a little giggle as she watched him. When the Colonel turned to look at her. "Oh, I'm sorry Colonel. That wasn't very professional of me. It's just that you looked so…"

"Determined?" He asked.

"No…I was thinking more like…cute." Nellie answered.

"Cute? You thought I looked cute?" John questioned with a quizzical smile. He was a lot of things, but 'cute' was not a word he thought described him. He could tell Nellie was getting nervous, "I can live with cute I guess. What time is it anyway, I'm kinda hungry." He said smiling at her.

"Well it's just after 10:30 am so I can get you a late breakfast, or an early lunch or I can get you brunch." She offered.

"Brunch?"

"Yeah, you know, breakfast, lunch, brunch. Half way in between." She explained.

"Brunch it is then. Sounds good." He said.

"I'll be back shortly then. Can I get you anything right now?" Nellie asked before she left.

"No I'm good, thanks for asking."

Nellie gave him one of her smiles as she left the ISO room on her way to get the Colonel some food. John stared towards the end of the bed and watched as his toes moved the blanket. He just could not get enough of that sight. While he waited, he tried to move his leg. When that didn't work, he set his sights a bit lower and tried to move his foot. That got him a response. He managed to move his right foot about two inches. He thought really hard on trying to get the left foot to do the same thing but was unrewarded.

oOo

John had been concentrating so hard on moving his feet that he hadn't notice Carson watching him from the doorway. Carson gave a fake little cough that brought John's attention to the door.

"How long have you been standing there?" John asked the stealthy Doctor.

"Not long."

"Why is it that I don't believe you?" He asked, and then added, "what was in those pills you gave me last night?"

"Just a wee something to help with the pain you'd been tryin to hide all day." Carson had moved from the doorway to the side of his bed picking up the Colonel's wrist to take his pulse.

"Nellie just did that. And I wasn't hiding the pain. Have you seen Carl's eye recently?" John jerked his hand out of Carson's.

"Aye I have. He's sportin' a nice shiner today. Now give me your wrist. As long as you are in **my** infirmary I call the shots. You are still my patient and if I want to take your pulse I will." Carson announced. After taking the Colonel's pulse he took out his stethoscope, warming the metal bell on his white lab coat before placing it on the Colonel's chest. Carson listened to his heart, and then moved the bell to his back as he instructed the Colonel to breathe, listening to his lungs.

The Colonel was about to say something snarky when Nellie arrived with his late morning tray. As she set it down on the table and rolled it over the Colonel's lap, John took in the view of what the tray had to offer. He saw that he had breakfast items as in orange juice, eggs and a muffin as well as lunch items like a turkey sandwich with lettuce and tomato and a pudding cup to choose from. Giving Nellie another one of his trademark smiles to say thank you, she left smiling back. John decided that the turkey sandwich looked the best and started in.

"What's the plan for today Doc?" John asked after he swallowed his first bite of sandwich.

"Well…after ya eat one of the nurses will be by to give you a sponge bath. Carl is coming after lunch to stretch out those leg muscles. Then I thought we'd get you standin to see how you handle that." Carson told him.

"Oh goody." John nodded at the information. "I can move my right foot this morning. Didn't have much luck with the left though." John offered. "Want to see?" He looked up wide-eyed at Carson as he asked. Sometimes the Colonel acted like a child who thrived on praise, like he was doing now.

Carson looked amazed that the Colonel could move more than his toes. "Aye." Carson moved to the end of the bed and uncovered both bare feet from the ankles down and watched.

John set his sandwich back down on the tray. Looking at his bare feet he concentrated on moving his foot. It took some doing, but his right foot moved back and forth at his command. He let out the breath he had been holding unexpectedly.

"That's good Colonel, really good." Carson commented as he covered up the bare feet again. "You finish eating; I have a couple of patients to check on besides you."

"Ronon hasn't hurt anyone has he?"

"No, Ronon's been a perfect gentleman. Besides he's off world at the Alpha site playing war games. Actually, a couple of Captain Cadman's team came back with a rash. Appears they came in contact with some plant but it's nothing serious. Finish eating and I'll send a nurse in shortly to give you that sponge bath." Carson stated.

"Oh joy." John sighed.

Carson gave him a wry smile and left the Colonel to his breakfast.

oOo

"Easy now. Go slow, there's no need to rush." Muttered Carson.

John had finished his sandwich, ate the pudding and downed the orange juice. He had taken a couple bites of egg but ended up leaving most of it on his tray. Had a bath. And saved the muffin for Rodney when he came to visit which just happened to be during Carl's painful, but necessary, stretching session. Rodney had tried to distract the Colonel however unsuccessful his attempts were. As the cries, moans and groans escalated Rodney took that as his queue to leave, blueberry muffin in hand.

Carl worked his legs until the Colonel could not bear anymore and rightly said so in a not so pleasant way. "Ach du lieber Gott! Ich kann es nicht mehr ertragen." Thank God Rodney had left with his muffin. John would have had a hard time talking his way out of this little slip up. He had kept his passion for language a secret. Not even under torture had he revealed he could understand and speak Farsi, yet forty minutes with his physical therapist had John shouting out in German.

Stunned at the exclamation Carl quit and let the Colonel compose himself. John would apologize to Carl later for his outburst.

A few deep breaths later a composed Colonel said, "Carl, please don't say anything about…."

"I won't Colonel. Now rest."

oOo

John wasn't into his rest period more than fifteen-twenty minutes before another cramp made itself known. John let out a strangled cry for help that was most un-manly. He was glad that Rodney had not been there to hear it.

Carl was seated in Carson's office writing some notes from the Colonel's earlier exercise session when he heard the Colonel cry out. Fast to his feet he headed for the ISO room. Thoughts of the Colonel falling out of bed rushed through his mind. When he got there he found the Colonel grasping his left thigh. Panting breaths and tears leaked from the corners of the Colonel's closed eyes completed the picture of a man in tremendous pain.

"I'm here Colonel. You can let go. I'll take care of it." Carl said trying to get the Colonel to release his hold on his left thigh. "Colonel please let go so I can do my job." Carl said sternly.

Nellie was about to go off shift and Colleen had just come on when they heard the cry of pain. Both nurses entered the small ISO room at a fast walk, almost at a run. Each nurse took up a position on either side of the bed trying to get the Colonel to lay back. Nellie grasped the Colonel's wrists and managed to pry them loose one at a time. She knew better than to place her hand in the Colonel's. Wrapping her hand around his wrist she guided one clinched fist to the top railing. Instinct took over and the Colonel grasped the cold steel bar with all his strength. The other landed on the bedding and immediately clenched around any fabric. Colleen had grabbed a pair of scissors and was cutting the scrub pant leg so Carl could have access to the injured thigh and work his magic. Nellie cooed softly into the Colonel's ear to get him to calm down and breathe deeply. Colleen brought a cool cloth to his redden pain filled face.

As the two nurses' double-teamed the Colonel trying to get him to relax and breathe, Carl worked on the muscle cramp. Colleen managed to get a set of vitals to report. Every so often Carl would find a particular sore spot that would solicit a whimper from the Colonel. After thirty five minutes the Colonel had his composure restored enough to utter a sorrowful 'sorry'. Carl continued to work on the cramp and as before the Colonel eventually fell asleep. Colleen had left to start her shift when Nellie said she would stay and help Carl. Carl worked for another twenty minutes on the severe cramp before deciding he could quit.

The Colonel slept soundly for a few hours and after a brief exam found himself between the two Doctors' with them easing him off the bed.

"Just a little bit further now." Carson muttered again.

John's feet touched down on the infirmary floor. A gasp escaped his mouth before he knew it.

"What's wrong?" Asked Carl.

"Floors cold." John simply related. It was a new sensation he had to deal with now. For two years when his feet hit the floor there was no distinguishable way for him to know if the floor was cold or hot. With an arm wrapped around the shoulder of each Doctor, he was actually standing on his own two feet, cold as they were.

"How does it feel Colonel?" Questioned Carl holding the Colonel up from his right side.

"Strange. They tingle a little, like after you get hit with a stunner." Carl gave him a strange look. Realizing that Carl had not yet had the opportunity to join the 'Stun Club' he elaborated further. "You know like pins and needles." That Carl understood with perfect clarity.

"Okay Colonel, we're going to let you take a little more of your own weight. If there is any problem, you tell us right away. We don't want to cause a relapse this early. Understand?" Carson warned and shifted a little more of the Colonel's weight off his shoulders. Carl did the same on the right.

As more of his weight pressed down on his feet, knees, hips and legs in general the more pronounced the pins and needles feeling became. He also had the start of a shooting pain down the backs of both legs.

"How do you feel now Colonel?" Asked Carl.

"More pins and needles and there's a sharp shooting pain down the backs of both legs." He confessed to his Doctors.

"Alright then, enough, let's get you sitting back down now." Carl stated and he adjusted his hold on the Colonel and helped him sit down on the edge of the infirmary bed.

Once John was sitting down, they let him catch his breath for a moment before insisting that he lie down. John wanted to protest, but he was out numbered. He didn't want to admit it but it did feel good to lie down again.

"That went very well Colonel. Better than I had expected actually." Carl stated warmly.

"Can we do this again later?" John asked not sure he wanted to try again but needed to know in order to prepare himself.

"We might try after dinner if you feel up to it. Right now you just need to rest. As Dr. Beckett and I have both told you, this is going to be a long drawn out process. Nine to twelve months; most of that time will be doing exercises just like this. Standing then resting. If your expectations are set too high you will only be discouraged Colonel. You need to be thinking by Friday of next week I will be able to stand for five minutes. Or by the end of the month, I will be pulling my own leg up off the exam bed. If you think you will be taking your first step by next Friday you will not only disappoint yourself but you will set yourself back in terms of progress. I know you want to walk, but this is a slow process. It cannot be rushed. You'll get there, I promise." Carl explained.

"I hear what you're saying Carl but you know patience is not one of my better virtues. However, you're the boss and I'll do what you tell me and when, no argument." The Colonel offered.

"Can I get that in writing?" Carl asked jokingly even though he knew there wasn't much in the way of paper on Atlantis.

TBC

6/14

"Ach du lieber Gott! Ich kann es nicht mehr ertragen."

"Oh my God! I can't stand it any longer."

(apologies to those who read and speak German. This was the best translator I could find on the web.)


	7. Chapter 7

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** I am NOT in the medical, military or science professions so what you read is just 'winging it'. Hope it sounds plausible. Also in my stories there will always be Dr. Weir and Dr. Beckett.

This is the fourth story I've written dealing with Colonel Sheppard's disability. Preceding order: Three for the Price of Two, Conquering Adversities, Unexpected Surprises.

The story was beta read and any remaining errors are my own. Enjoy.

Life Altering

By Kwillads

Chapter 7

John spent four more days in the infirmary's isolation room before it was determined he was recovered enough from surgery to leave. The surgical scar had sealed and healed nicely thus far and there was nothing really keeping him there except for Carson's tendency to be over-cautious. John couldn't wait to get out of there. It had been the longest ten days he could ever remember.

The severe leg cramps plagued him several more times. And each time it took Carl upwards of forty-five minutes to work the straining muscles loose. Consequently the spasmed muscles taxed the Colonel's high pain threshold to the max. In order for Carl to ease his tightening muscles John had to endure more pain. Between Carson and Carl and several rounds of tests it was finally determined that the Colonel's electrolytes were out of balance. One way to solve this would be to have a continuous IV in his hand providing essential fluids his body required. But the logistics of that happening was nil. Atlantis didn't have any commercial sports drinks which led the two doctors to the lab to create one. Carl's leg stretching exercises brought him to tears everyday they worked out. A second scan still showed no reason for the pain John was experiencing and he flat-out refused to have Rodney 'tweak' the program. He would rather deal with the pain then not. At least for now anyway.

All he wanted was to get to his room and take a real honest to goodness shower; long and soothing, hot water being bountiful in the ten thousand year old city called Atlantis. Sponge baths were just not his favorite thing but for the first few days he endured them. Showering in the infirmary shower, even with the aid of Carl, was better than nothing but not nearly as good as being in his own room, in his own shower, having his own privacy. He was used to Carl's help, but his help ended with the removal of his boxers. The rest was up to him. The hot spray of water was wonderful until Carl yelled that is was time to get out. Carl had never rushed him before but now there was a schedule to keep; leg stretching exercises that had to be done if he ever wanted to see the outside world again. So John hurried through his five minute shower grateful for being allowed to have one in the first place. That was two days ago and now he was being discharged.

Carl brought John's wheelchair back along with a change of clothes; sweatpants, boxers, a black t-shirt, socks and his running shoes. After dressing the two headed to the transporter. In the near distance John heard the gate klaxons go off. He gave Carl a pleading puppy-dog look. It had been ten days now that he had been in the infirmary with little to no information about what was going on in his city. Unbeknownst to the Colonel, Carson had threatened every visitor, once the Colonel agreed to see his friends, within an inch of their lives if they even breathed a word of the daily goings on to the Colonel. No matter how much the Colonel begged, pleaded or bribed. Carson knew if the Colonel knew what was going on he would want to be in the thick of things handling them instead of concentrating on his recovery.

"Go." Carl acquiesced without even hearing a spoken word. He knew nothing was going to stop the Colonel from finding out what was going on now that he was out of Dr. Beckett's domain and mobile again. He had been secluded in a small room with no windows to the outside and had very few visitors, although that was of his own making.

"Thanks." He shouted over his shoulder as he wheeled himself down the hall to the right-hand doorway of the gate room. Lieutenant Ruiz's team and two scientists were coming back from their off world mission. He glanced up at the command deck and found Lt. Col. Lorne standing on the small balcony overlooking the gate room welcoming them back like he had done and like Elizabeth had done for all those years before him. He could see Teyla and Ronon mingling with the team which meant they had gone out with the team as well.

Teyla looked over at the doorway and caught sight of John. She slapped Ronon's arm and pointed. The two Pegasus Galaxy natives ran over to the Colonel, both glad to see him out of the infirmary and looking well.

"John it is good to see you. Has Dr. Beckett released you?" She asked pointedly, giving him a smile. Not sure if this was an attempted escape or not.

"Yes Teyla, just a few minutes ago in fact. Carl and I were on our way to my quarters when I heard the klaxons, so I thought I would see what was going on. So…what's going on?"

Ronon answered before Teyla had a chance. "This group needed an extra hand so I volunteered."

"I volunteered as well. It gave me a chance to talk to some old friends. I believe I have obtained another food trade alliance. I must go and talk with Elizabeth. It is good seeing you well John." Teyla bowed her head and headed for Elizabeth's office.

"See you at dinner. I'm sure Carl is still waiting at the transporter for me." John replied as he slowly backed up and turned around.

"Dinner then." Ronon said in agreement.

John headed back to the transporter and sure enough Carl was waiting. "Thanks Carl. An off world team just came back. Teyla and Ronon were with them, Teyla thinks she may have another food trade alliance for us." The Colonel remarked as the two got into the transporter. Destination Level 6.

The first thing John asked after entering his quarters, "can I get a real shower today Carl?" John was really tired of late at having to ask permission for anything that he wanted while he was in the infirmary. It made him feel like he did when he first had his accident. Not being able to do anything for himself, always with someone's help, never alone. John was amazed at how far he had come in two years with the help and assistance of Carl and a few overgrown mechanical devices. He wanted…no…needed his independence back if he was going to survive the next few weeks.

"I don't see that as a problem. I will be right there, just give me a minute, I have to lock up your meds first." Carl explained. Carson had sent some mild pain meds that John would need once they got started on his rehabilitation. Not quite as powerful as the one's Carson slipped him in the infirmary a few times, but still powerful enough to help him rest so he could stay focused on what was ahead of him.

The Colonel rolled into his room and stopped dead in his tracks. He turned his wheelchair to face the balcony and stared at the parallel bars and the large arm that protruded from the wall above them which was positioned at the end of his bed.

When Carl walked in he found the Colonel in awe. "I'm sorry Colonel, I forgot to inform you that I had new equipment delivered and installed."

"I can see that."

"Let's get you showered and we can discuss this new equipment afterwards." Carl motioned towards the bathroom. "We have much to discuss actually."

Carl aided the Colonel with his shower allowing the Colonel to take his own sweet leisurely time. Since he was only in his clothes for less than a half hour John decided he could put the t-shirt and sweatpants back on. He drew the line at the boxers so before entering the bathroom he retrieved a fresh pair from his dresser. Next John put his shaving kit back on the sink.

Now that he was clean from head to toe he took time to shave off the growth of beard that presented itself over the last few days. Carl was sitting on the end of his bed with his laptop open scanning something as John emerged from his bathroom. John couldn't see exactly what was scrolling across his screen but whatever it was Carl seemed mesmerized by it. John rolled over closer remembering that Carl said they had a lot to discuss.

"So, tell me about this new equipment you've added to my room." The Colonel quipped. He knew it was all for him. Surveying his room he remembered how he had thought the hydraulic lifts were large and obtrusive. Now he had parallel bars along with another menacing arm of sorts protruding from the wall at the foot of the bed to contend with as well as the exam bed and gym mat which were already scattered throughout his bedroom.

"I took the liberty, knowing you as I have become accustomed, and had this equipment shipped. It arrived on the last Daedalus run." Carl didn't need to voice that he knew the surgery would work and that the tenacious Colonel would no doubt be learning to walk. Carl just had a gift for such things.

"Uh…what is that arm thing there?" The Colonel asked pointing to the large metal arm that hung over the bars.

"That is a harness arm. When we start working with the parallel bars in a month or so you will be in a harness which is connected to the arm. Its purpose is to stop you from falling and hurting yourself. The bars, of course, are here to enable you to re-learn how to walk. The platform is a standard ten feet in length. In a few months you should be able to walk the whole distance with the assistance of the harness and arm. I would have thought you used the bars before when you had your broken leg. Did you not have a similar set up?" Carl wondered.

John had tried not to remember those months of rehab after his leg had been broken by the crash and made worse by the enemy. The numerous surgeries it took to correct all the damage, the rod that was inserted in place of the fibula that was crushed with abuse from his captors. The tibia that had been broken in two places. And once the healing was over it took up to a year to get back to flight status. That was a time in John's life he would rather forget.

"Yeah, I had the bars, but not the harness. You have to remember I was at a VA rehab center. They don't usually get the high-tech equipment like most other hospitals or independent rehab centers. And of course it was in a foreign country too. But I managed. So…when do we get started?" John enthusiastically inquired. The sooner he started the sooner he would be able to walk. He wasn't thinking in terms of nine to twelve months like Carson and Carl had told him. He was thinking six months max. He didn't want to be out of circulation that long. John was thinking weeks, where Carl was thinking months. He wanted to be on those parallel bars as soon as possible since he knew they were the true measures for him learning to walk again.

"We'll start tomorrow after breakfast. For now we have a lot of things to go over. We need to set up a workable schedule. Time for you to rest and eat of course. You need to maintain your current eating habits and diet, now that you can feel when you need to use the bathroom you will no longer need to catheterize yourself on a regular basis. You just need to allow enough time to get there. Staying on your high fiber diet will also keep your bowels regulated for the time being. Once you're able to walk and manage better on your own we can change your diet. Also you will need to continue to roll into a new position at least three times during the night. Although you have feeling back in your legs you can still get bed sores so you still need to turn yourself for a while longer." Carl mentioned right off.

John considered what Carl had said so far and so far found it reasonable. "So what's this schedule we need to work out? Something similar to the one we set up after you got here?" Being an Air Force Pilot, John knew missions ran on a schedule, a time frame. He guessed his rehab would be similar. He had put up with a strict regulated schedule for the first six months while his body adjusted or should he say he adjusted to his new capabilities. After that he only had a strict diet and eating schedule with some PT thrown in for good measure. He didn't much like schedules, but had learned to adapt to them since his accident two years ago.

"Precisely. Like I told you while you were still in the infirmary, we will continue to stretch your legs for several weeks to begin with since you obviously have pain there. Once the pain is gone we will gradually add more to our routine until such time as you are ready to tackle the bars. So for now if you want to continue with your morning routine; running with Specialist Dex, work session with Dr. Weir and breakfast at 0800 you can. I still want you to keep up with your three nights of PT; pull-ups, push-ups and sit-ups and I will be adding to those as we progress. There might be time for you to still practice your Katas with Miss Emmagan."

"Carl, what do those things, other than stretching have to do with me walking again?" John said sounding petulant. He wanted to walk sooner rather than later. How could he get Carl to understand that?

"Colonel, this is a slow process. I've told you this before; Dr. Beckett has told you this before. You will need to keep up your physical endurance. It will aid you now more than ever before. Most people when they start rehab are nowhere near the level of physical fitness as you are. You have an advantage since you exercise regularly. Keeping up with your physical activities will only help you in the long run. It might even take a month off your rehab." Carl explained to the impatient Military Commander. Carl hoped by offering him the possibility that he might walk sooner it would get the Colonel to realize what he needed to do was to start concentrating on the positive rather than the negative.

The soon to be torturer, and the soon to be torturee, continued their talk and set up a workable schedule that they both could live with. The Colonel added in some time to read reports and keep in the loop with what his military staff was doing, along with the base in general. He wanted to be able to aide Lorne if needed. Carl was not pleased since the Colonel was supposed to be off duty for at least a full month before going on light duty. His morning schedule was pretty much going to be the same as it was before the surgery. Running with Ronon at five am, shower and coffee with Elizabeth at seven am so he could keep in the loop, and then breakfast at eight am. After breakfast the fun would start. For now Carl would continue to stretch his leg muscles until the reoccurring pain was gone. After stretching exercises the Colonel was scheduled to rest and by then it would be lunch time. After lunch more exercises during which only the Colonel would participate using the limited control he had over his limbs. Even since that day he woke and managed to wiggle his toes the Colonel practiced manipulating his own limbs although it was just a few inches here and there. Carl was going to put those few inches to good work. More rest, then dinner. Four nights a week he would continue with his PT, the other three nights were left open. Carl gave him the option to continue with Katas, keep up with reports and mission files or just rest if he chose. At least that is what the proposed schedule they set up was to be like. Both doctor and patient thought it was doable for the time being.

To the Colonel it didn't seem like there was a lot of rehab going on, just a lot of stretching, exercises and resting. John wanted more rehab and less rest. Carl reminded him of his promise; _'you're the boss and I'll do what you tell me and when, no argument'_. The Colonel wished now he'd never spoken those words, as they were coming back to haunt him.

oOo

John and Carl after finishing the proposed rehab schedule headed to the mess hall for dinner where Teyla and Ronon filled the Colonel in on what had taken place on their mission and more importantly what had taken place over the last few days. The Colonel asked Evan to gather all the new Marines that arrived almost two weeks ago in the orientation room by 09:00 hours. He wanted to introduce himself since he had not done so before his surgery.

Rodney continued to work on his program for the safety of the Colonel. He was called to go off world once when the gate team reported finding a lab. It turned out to be a dead end. No ZPM and no data that they could use against the Wraith or Michael. It was amazing that the Wraith hadn't been a problem so much. It was more alarming that Michael and his superbugs were the talk around the campfires on many planets.

"Rodney, did you raid the mess hall kitchen…say a couple of weeks ago? I only ask because Rose said half a cherry pie was missing and the perpetrator left a mess on the counter and there was flour all over the storeroom floor. Would you know anything about it?" John inquired raising a questionable eyebrow in his direction.

Rose Highland, the head chef and person in charge of feeding all of Atlantis was so glad to see the Colonel come in for dinner that she could hardly contain herself. She had to tell him what had been going on these past ten days. Not only about the mess hall, but all the good gossip she and her staff overheard on a regular basis. If you wanted something spread throughout Atlantis, the mess hall was the hub of all grapevine gossips. She thought he had been off world, as most of Atlantis might have thought. John hadn't wanted his surgery broadcast throughout the whole city so he left hints here and there to allow the rumor mill to circulate that he was off Atlantis base for a while. Twenty minutes later Rose finally let him get his dinner and join his friends at the table. If she wanted too, Rose could give Rodney a run for his money in the 'how fast can you talk' category.

Not that the Colonel needed to know who was sleeping with whom, who was lonely, who cried themselves to sleep. Or who was seeing the base shrink on a daily basis. Rose did, however, seem to know who reported to work late due to unauthorized activities. John had made it a point to listen when Rose was talking.

At first Rodney didn't know what the Colonel was referring too. There hadn't been any cherry pie for at least a week to his recollection. Then he remembered the night they all waited for news on the surgery. Rodney choked on his drink at the inquiry. "Why…why would you assume I had anything to do with that?"

"Oh, I don't know Rodney maybe because cherry pie is one of yours **and** Ronon's favorites." John looked between the two men with an inquiring eye. .

This time Ronon coughed and a guilty look flashed across his face. Neither man dared look at the Colonel. All of a sudden it seemed something on their dinner tray was worth paying more attention to. Rodney couldn't even look at Ronon for fear of giving themselves away. He was never good at lying. His first few months here proved that at the weekly poker games. After he lost three cases of chocolate bars he hadn't played poker again to this day. Major Sheppard, at the time, advised Rodney it was in his best interest not to play anymore as his face was too expressive and gave away his poker hands.

John let them squirm a bit longer before he continued. "It's alright guys. I smoothed things over with Rose. That's two IOU's I owe her now. And Ronon, next time, be a little more stealthy. The patrol saw you and McKay enter. They heard noises coming from the mess kitchen and they said when you left you had white stuff all down your front. I can only imagine what you two did to cause that. What happened to that Runner who could sneak in and out before anyone knew the wiser? I mean, I can understand McKay making noise, but you?" John smiled at them and went back to eating. The whole table was quiet for about twelve seconds before it erupted into the loudest laughter ever heard in the mess hall.

"By the way Rodney I told Rose you would love the opportunity to calibrated the mess equipment and do all their maintenance for the next month. And **no** you can't send someone in your place. And Ronon, for the next month you will be at the beck and call of Rose whenever she needs something. I don't want to hear one complaint. You both will do this. Maybe next time you won't get caught."

John could tell Rodney was getting ready to complain but was more surprised that he let it go. As did Ronon.

After dinner John sat at his desk and worked on what to say to the new Marines in the morning. He also read over the latest mission reports. "Damn!"

Carl heard the expletive and came into the room. "Colonel is everything alright?"

"No…no everything is not alright. Two more planets have been discovered as uninhabitable wastelands. The science team report still indicates they have no idea what is happening to these planets. They've been working on this for several months now and are no further along in determining a cause. If there even is a cause. That makes seven so far that we know of." The Colonel leaned back in his wheelchair and let out a frustrated sigh.

oOo

The Colonel rolled into the orientation room at 08:55 soliciting looks from several of the seventeen new military recruits. It wasn't everyday you saw a military commander in a wheelchair. Some had heard the rumors but no one had seen their CO since they arrived. His morning run with Ronon felt good after days in bed. Elizabeth just wanted to talk about how he was doing. At breakfast it was a menagerie of topics. But now he had a room full of new recruits to talk too.

"Alright, everyone take a seat and be quiet." John said from the front of the room positioning his wheelchair so he could see everyone in the room. Most of them sat down, but a few lingered and kept on talking. "I asked that everyone take a seat and be quiet, which means you guys over there as well." He pointed to a few standing off to the side of the room. Some of the seated Marines tried to get them to sit down but had no luck in their endeavor. Colonel Sheppard made a note of the five that had not taken a seat yet. He always had a few in each new group that thought they knew it all, heard it all. After his second request Colonel Sheppard was still not getting the desired reaction. In his commanding voice he yelled. "ATTENTION!"

The room snapped to attention, those that had sat down now stood. All eyes were focused forward and the room fell quiet. "I am Colonel John Sheppard, Military Commander of this base and yes, your boss. Now, if you promise to be behave yourselves, you can all sit down now." There was a group hesitation as some of the Marines didn't know exactly what to do at first. There was no command order to 'sit'. Slowly everyone started to take a seat. Once everyone was comfortable, the Colonel started talking again. "I apologize for not introducing myself to you earlier. I'm sure that Lt. Col. Lorne has already given you the 'welcome' speech so I will skip that for now, but I just wanted to add a few things. The most important thing to keep in mind is that this is a scientific mission, ladies and gentlemen, and you have one and only one purpose here; that is to save the lives of the civilians at all costs. Keep an open mind; learn from your fellow Marines or Airmen and from our two Pegasus natives. They can teach you a lot and help you keep yourself alive. I have read over your recent Pegasus training and your war games at the Alpha site. My congratulations go out to the 'Spartans'. Col. Lorne said most of you did an excellent job. Keep it up. I will be on light duty for the next few months. Lt. Col. Lorne will be in charge. Do as he tells you. If you have any concerns or questions feel free to ask myself or Col. Lorne. We are here to help. Ronon and Teyla both have classes you can attend to become better acquainted with the fighting styles here in the Pegasus Galaxy. Your skills at using your P-90 are useful, but hand-to-hand combat becomes very useful when you're out of bullets. It's not mandatory, but I highly suggest you give it a try. Any Questions?"

"Sir, I have a question." Stated a Marine, third row center standing up to address his commander.

"Of course, ask away."

The Marine shifted as he tried to figure out how to phrase his question without it coming out badly. The Colonel could see the young Marine fighting with himself to get the question out. "Lieutenant sit down and I will answer your question." Remarked Colonel Sheppard.

The Lieutenant re-took his seat, confused as to how the Colonel would know what he wanted to ask since he couldn't manage to utter a syllable.

"I broke my back while on a mission. During that mission my team managed to procure three ZPM's in order to safeguard all of Atlantis and its inhabitants. That was just a little over two years ago. I have been paralyzed from the waist down since then. I have worked real hard to maintain my command. It's not everyday you see a handicapped Military Commander. In fact, I am the first. But I assure you that I have proved myself time and again that I am capable of this command. I will not let anything happen to you or the scientists or the civilians that are on this base or the civilian populace that live on the mainland. I have just recently undergone surgery. That's why I missed introducing myself to you when you arrived. Does that answer your question Lieutenant?"

"Yes Sir."

"I thought so. As I mentioned before I will be on light duty for a while. If no other questions then…" Colonel Sheppard paused and looked at each face staring back at him. Not seeing any more questions forthcoming. "Alright, you five there report to Lt. Col. Lorne. His office is across the hall." John pointed to the five that had not taken a seat when he first came into the room. "As for the rest of you, you can go back to your duties." Colonel Sheppard started to roll out of the room when he realized no one was moving. "Dismissed." _Marines,_ he thought to himself.

The group stood up as a whole and filed out of the room in an orderly fashion. As John reached the transported he looked back down the hall and saw his five trouble makers enter Lorne's office. Marines had a code of honor and he was one hundred percent sure they would inform Col. Lorne of their transgression; just like he also knew that Col. Lorne would find a suitable punishment. John grinned and entered the transporter.

oOo

John entered his suite to find Carl working away again on his laptop at a dining table and chairs that appeared in his room since he left at 06:50 to meet with Elizabeth. The talk he had with the Marines lasted less than twenty minutes. "Okay Carl, let the fun begin." Levity wasn't cutting it this morning. As he headed into his room he found the exam bed had been placed in the middle of the floor between his bed and dresser.

The Colonel was already dressed in sweatpants, black t-shirt and running shoes. He had thought about putting on his uniform since he was addressing his new recruits, but it would only mean taking if off again before he started his exercises. This way he only had to take off his sweatpants to put on his workout shorts. Most likely that was why the five Marines dismissed his orders when he had asked them to take a seat and be quiet. Marines were always the ones for protocol, regs and discipline. _'Not too many military commanders show up in sweatpants and running shoes to address you'_ he thought to himself.

There was a pair of shorts lying on the bed. John wheeled himself into position to use the lift and when Carl entered he started the program so he could change out of his sweatpants and into the shorts Carl had laid out for him. Once that was done Carl assisted the Colonel onto the exam bed to start the stretching. Even though Carl had kept the Colonel's legs limbered and toned over the past two years to stave off blood clots, there seemed to be some form of atrophy Carl advised him. Carl's job now was to work on those atrophied muscles so the Colonel could start walking again.

The two men struck up a conversation while Carl worked the muscles. About a half hour into the session the conversation fizzled out. Carl asked the Colonel, who every now and then, had uttered a hiss, moan or groan loud enough for Carl to hear, "Colonel on a scale of one to ten how bad is the pain?" Carl gave the Colonel a concerned look. When he started the stretching in the infirmary the Colonel was at least a twelve or higher. Even with his high threshold for pain, a twelve really meant sixteen or above. Twice what any normal human being is capable of withstanding.

"Its fine Carl, just keep going." He said as his slow steady breathing had given way to short pants, and white knuckled hands gripped the side of the exam bed like it was life or death. It wasn't as bad as the first couple of days had been in the infirmary so he knew it was getting better, but it still hurt like a mother…

"Colonel?" Carl stated a bit more sternly.

"Seven." He panted.

Carl rested the leg he was working on back down onto the exam bed and left the room. He knew when the Colonel said seven; he really meant ten or twelve. The Colonel breathed out a sigh for the temporary relief. They'd been at this for six days now, five in the infirmary and today. He only hoped the pain would stop soon.

Carl came back in with a glass of water and a small paper cup.

"I don't need those Carl. At least not yet. Just keep going." He panted out.

"Colonel there is no need for you to be in so much pain while we do this. It's mild. Nothing like those that Dr. Beckett gave you. Please. We don't want to cause a set back since we've only just begun." Carl offered the white cup and glass of water to the Colonel again.

John managed to get up onto his elbows, "you don't understand. I need to feel it. I have felt nothing for two years. Now that I have feeling I don't want it to go away. It's a good pain…honestly. And the pain meds make it go away. I would rather feel something, even if that something is pain, then not feel anything at all like before. Please… not yet. I can do more. It's getting better each time…honest." And that really was the truth.

Carl acquiesced to the Colonel's wishes; for now. Setting the water and pills down on the dresser behind him, he continued working the Colonel's left leg.

"Thanks." John whispered.

Carl could only nod. He had a better understanding of why the Colonel put up with the pain and had only more respect for the man. Most anyone in this situation would be begging for relief. Over Carl's career as a Physiatrist, he had worked with some athletes, like the Colonel, they were in excellent physical condition but no where as determined.

When Carl finished, the Colonel had been reduced to a stream of tears running down the side of his face from beneath his tightly shut eyes. His hands still clutched the side of the exam bed and his knuckles were even whiter, if that were possible. He was more than ready to take the mild pain meds and rest for a short while. No wonder Carl had argued for rest time between sessions. He doubted that he had fortitude it took to even sit up on his own. In the infirmary he only had one session a day with Carl which left him physically and emotionally drained.

Carl helped the Colonel to sit up using a strong, reassuring hand on his shoulder. Before helping him off the exam bed he handed the little white paper cup and water glass to him. Without a word John downed the pain meds. It was only a short distance, about a wheelchairs width between the exam bed and his bed, so Carl came around and in one swift move, moved the Colonel from one to the other.

The Colonel pulled his sore achy legs up onto the bed and laid down and closed his eyes willing the pain meds to take effect or for sleep to pull him under. Right now, he didn't care which as long as the throbbing in his legs went away…well at least for a little while anyway.

"Rest Colonel, I'll check on you in an hour or so, but if you need me, just yell. I won't be far away." Carl informed him.

John nodded his understanding.

"ARRGGAHHH!"

Carl came running into the Colonel's quarters at hearing the scream. This was not what he had meant when he told the Colonel to yell if he needed anything. The Colonel had been resting for a little more than an hour. Carl was on his way to check on the Colonel when he heard the scream. The Colonel was grasping his left thigh again and panting for each stolen breath.

"Colonel, what's wrong?"

"Crr…cramp." The Colonel squeezed out between pants.

"Alright, let me take care of it. Just lie back and breathe deeply." Carl instructed.

The Colonel hesitated to let go but did as he was instructed and laid back, his left arm over his eyes while his right gripped the bedding underneath him. He tried to breathe normally, but every time Carl rubbed on the knotted muscle he lost it.

Carl worked as carefully as he could on the cramp but there was no way around it, it caused pain. He couldn't give the Colonel any more pain medicine so he kept massaging the cramped area in John's thigh and occasionally he would reach for the ball of the Colonel's foot and bring the toes forward to stretch the muscle gently.

Forty minutes later the cramp seemed to be gone and so was the Colonel. His face was lax, his breathing had evened out and he was sleeping again. Carl made a mental note that when they did these stretches he would have the Colonel drink the electrolyte concoction he and Dr. Beckett developed with the help of the lab alternating with orange juice to restore his electrolyte balance before letting him rest.

Carl retrieved his blood pressure cuff and stethoscope, along with his ear thermometer from the medical cabinet just outside the Colonel's bedroom door. Carl took a set of vitals while the Colonel slept totally unaware of the pressure surrounding his bicep as the cuff tightened. Jotting the vitals down on his nursing chart, he updated Dr. Beckett on the first session of exercises as a courtesy. Once Dr. Beckett released the Colonel from the infirmary, he was no longer in charge of his rehabilitation. Dr. Beckett relinquished that status knowing Carl was the resident Physiatrist. Carl had a medical degree but left the practice of medicine to Dr. Beckett. Carl was just the Colonel's primary physical therapist, dietitian, psychologist, rehab nurse to name a few. Carl believed the sharing of information between doctors only benefited the patient in the long run.

He sat watch over the Colonel for a little while longer before returning to the living space.

oOo

Three weeks passed and John kept to his new schedule and promise. Allowing Carl to dictate what needed to be done, how often and when. After breakfast each day Carl worked the legs. The first week was hell. The second week was murder and by the third week Carl had most of the kinks in his muscles softened up. No more pain and pain meds. Also by the third week John could not only wiggle his toes but move both feet at the ankle. Now he was beginning to move his legs at his knees and that was a momentous boost to his ego. When he saw his knee rise up from the exam bed under his own power he was elated. He had a few more leg cramps, but as time went on, they were not as severe as those in the beginning had been. It only took Carl about fifteen to twenty minutes to work them out now instead of forty-five minutes to an hour. And the pain he experienced from day one was now a faded memory.

Although Carson said it would be a month before he could be on light duty, the Colonel had been overseeing the Military from the first day he was released. He helped Lorne with some difficult scheduling. Took it upon himself to set up rotas, new sentry schedules around the gate room, planned some special drills and even counseled a couple of Marines via e-mail. Carl was none to happy about the arrangement from the start, but allowed it anyway. If it made the Colonel work harder on his exercises then it was good for the both of them.

Officially on light duty John managed to keep up on the current mission reports and the goings on throughout Atlantis. This was one of the small concessions that John won when setting up his rehab schedule with Carl. He could rest and read reports at the same time he argued. And he found himself on his three free nights doing just that: reading.

Carl was always prepared for their workout sessions; alternating between orange juice and the concoction that contained electrolytes for him to drink after his stretching sessions. John preferred the orange juice or even water to the clear liquid the lab had formulated as a sports drink. It left a lot to be desired and the taste; well it had no taste other than awful.

In his afternoon sessions with Carl, John had to use all his strength to manipulate his reawakened limbs. Flexing his foot back and forth, curling his toes downward and up towards his body essentially stretching his own calf muscles that Carl had loosened up during their morning sessions.

He practiced bending his knees now that he could move them. John felt the progress was slow but Carl reaffirmed that he was ahead of projected schedule. He had just less than two more weeks of hard work to be able to walk up to Col. Caldwell and greet him the next time the Daedalus arrived. That was his first goal, the one he had been working so hard on. Carl tried to tell him it was an unrealistic goal, but John was determined.

John began to take his lunch and dinner meals in his room now. It was just easier than trying to get to the mess hall. He allowed his close friends to eat with him after a huge argument he had with Carl. The Colonel's performance was notably slipping, Carl knew it was from his self induced solitude and argued until the Colonel gave in and allowed his friends to come have lunch or dinner with him. After a few days of seeing his friends again, instead of just e-mailing them, his workout sessions picked up and he progressed by leaps and bounds, so to speak.

Today was the first day to stand at the parallel bars. John had wanted to get his hands on them from the moment he saw them in his room over four weeks ago. It meant, to him, his first step towards walking and meeting his first goal. Over the past four weeks Carl had added to his workout sessions; each afternoon John stood briefly for a few minutes. Getting used to being vertical and the pressure of his body weight on his back, legs and feet. Carl also added to the number of push-ups, pull-up and sit-ups.

Carl started by securing the therapy safety harness around the Colonel's torso, and then would use the lift in order to secure the straps around his groin. It reminded John of what a parachutist wears only without the heavy parachute pack; there was a front panel and back panel. The back was solid with D-rings about shoulder blade high. The front buckled in four places, while a heavy-duty reinforced strap went around each thigh at the joint of his torso to secure the harness around his legs. Once Carl had all the buckles securely locked and tightened like a corset he attached the four straps, one to each D-ring, two on the front, and two on the back. They came together at a single point which Carl would then attach to the metal arm above John once he was in position in between the bars. John wheeled himself to the end of the ten foot parallel bars and waited for Carl's instructions.

"Colonel, I'm going to help you stand. I want you to grab the bars and steady yourself while I connect the harness to the arm above. Don't try to move, just hold your body in place. That's all that we are doing today. Just stand." Carl instructed.

"You're the boss as you so often remind me. I regret ever saying that you know." He pointed out jokingly.

"I'm glad you did. Now are you ready?"

"Yeah let's do this." The Colonel replied.

Carl helped steady the Colonel while he got a good hand hold on the stainless steel handrails. When Carl felt he could let go and the Colonel would not fall over, he quickly attached the body harness to the arm positioned above. Now at least if the Colonel faltered, he wouldn't go crashing into the hard oak flooring that ran between the all-steel base tube uprights. Four such tubes lined each side of the thirty-six inch wide adjustable bars. At each end of the oak flooring the wood tapered to allow easier access for the wheelchair as well as the person. Three five-inch wide strips of black non-skid safety tread material were at both ends of the platform allowing for safer turn around and exit by the user.

"Okay Colonel, how does that feel?" Carl asked sneaking a peek at his watch.

"So far so good. I have more of that tingling feeling back." He advised, adjusting and tightening his grip on the handrails as he locked his elbows to keep himself standing. He remembered Carl saying his initial goal was five minutes. He wanted to break that mark on his first try. He needed to break that mark. So far, up until now, Carl had always had some of his weight. This was the first time he had total control over his body. Everyday John pushed himself harder and longer until Carl had to call it quits.

"That's to be expected as the blood flow now has to circulate from a standing position instead of a passive seated one." Carl reminded him. "What about your knees, thighs, calves or lower back, any discomfort, pain?"

"Not that I can tell, so far just tingling in my feet."

After eight minutes of standing Carl could see the Colonel showing signs of being tired. His arms began to waiver, he kept adjusting his grip and concentration was tight across his face.

"That's enough Colonel." Carl moved to wrap an arm under his shoulder and around his waist. "Colonel, I'm going to move in under your right arm and when I do, I want you to release your hold of the rail with your right hand only and put it over my shoulder. I'll support your weight while I disconnect the harness then we'll slowly sit back down into your wheelchair. Got it?"

The Colonel nodded at the instructions, when he felt Carl under his right arm he released his hold and quickly wrapped his arm around Carl's broad muscular shoulder and neck. His eyes never left the floor in front of him for fear he'd collapse. He had a strange sinking sensation before he realized Carl was lowering him back into his wheelchair. His left hand loosened around the steel bar as he was lowered.

"Very good Colonel. Now you see why I wanted you to keep up with your previous PT. It's going to take upper body strength from here on out in order to progress further. Your pull-ups and push-ups help with that." Carl reminded him. "We'll do this again tomorrow and start adding it into our daily routine."

Unbuckling the harness, "I'm beginning to understand a lot of things Carl. I just wish I could do more. I feel so weak sometimes. What was that, three – four minutes?" The Colonel snapped.

"Actually Colonel it was more like ten. I was hoping for four or five, but you surpassed my expectations again. I know each individual has their own parameters, but from the basic 'norm', which I am using as my guide, you have shown outstanding results every single time. Don't worry about feeling weak. You know you're not. The weakness is only coming from your inability to surpass your own expectations, but that's normal for you. We're done for the day. I'd like you to take it easy the rest of night. Get a goodnights sleep and we'll do more tomorrow. Let me know when you'll be ready for your shower." Carl concluded as he hooked the harness on the metal arm and left the Colonel to relax.

oOo

The Daedalus was two days out and John was no where near being able to walk under his own power let alone stand. It had been another two weeks of grueling therapy. John had talked Carl into three nightly sessions. The three nights he had free to spar with Teyla and Ronon or read mission reports, were now filled with nightly sessions. Carl thought that was overdoing it, but John was insistent. John could now stand in the harness for up to twenty minutes before his legs and arms would give out under the stress of holding up his lean body. The tingling sensation was gone now, no more pins and needles.

One good thing happened in the last week. John was now able to lift his entire leg, from the hip down, off the exam bed and hold it up for two minutes. His stomach muscles got a workout with those exercises. The sit-ups he had conditioned his body with helped tremendously.

He came rolling into his bedroom after breakfast and found Carl on the floor of his room taping off increments on the hardwood flooring of the parallel bars. "Carl, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like? I'm adding marks in one foot increments. It will be your guide to your progress." Carl plainly stated and continued to tape off the few remaining one foot sections of the ten foot long hardwood flooring.

"Okay…so what are we doing today? More leg stretches? Leg lifts? Knee bends? Or my personal favorite, standing?" He added with a sour punch. His rehab was taking too long in his estimation. He should be walking by now instead of just stretching, lifting and standing. It had been seven weeks, almost two months. A third of his goal used with nothing to show for it.

"You forgot walking." Carl bluntly stated finishing up his taping project.

"Walking? Did I hear correctly? You said walking."

"I did. Why don't you get started putting on your harness. I laid it on your bed." Carl pointed over his shoulder towards the bed.

John rolled over to the bed and put the harness around his torso buckling up the four cinches over his t-shirt. Then he positioned his wheelchair so that the lift would raise him up so that Carl could buckle the two that went around his legs.

Carl finished his taping, cinched the last two buckles on the therapy harness, hooked the four lead straps into the D-rings and was ready for the Colonel to take his first step in seven weeks. John positioned his wheelchair at the end of platform nearest his bedroom door. John grabbed the two handrails and lifted his body out of the wheelchair to a standing position while Carl connected the harness to the metal arm. For the last week John no longer needed Carl's help to stand. He could do that much on his own.

Carl came around to John's left side and stood by the handrail. Carl could see renewed determination in the Colonel's eyes. "Okay Colonel, one step at a time, as they say. Move your right leg out in front. Think about bending your knee, lifting your foot off the floor and setting it down in front of you. Just like you've practiced." Carl gave a play-by-play account of what he expected and waited for the Colonel to comply.

John stood there, hands on the rails looking down at his two feet. Two feet that were at this very moment not obeying his mental command. Just as Carl mentioned, he thought his right knee to bend, but nothing happened. He could do this lying down, why couldn't he do this while standing up. John thought his right foot to move forward, but nothing. "Carl it's not working. Why is it not working?" John spoke with a bit of panic in his voice. His features indicated to Carl that he had been trying. "I know these moves. I've been practicing them for a couple of weeks now. This is ridiculous."

"Stop Colonel. Just relax, take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Good. Now another." John did as Carl instructed. He took in several deep breaths and let them out slowly. "If I had to guess I would say you have performance anxiety."

"Stage fright? This is what I have been working my ass off for the last…what…three weeks to do. Why would I have stage fright?" John exclaimed holding tightly onto the handrails and looking at his reawakened legs with distaste.

"Stage fright, as you know, is an acute nervousness associated with performing. You are reacting to stimuli or impressions you may have about the outcome. In order to overcome stage fright, an individual needs the two P's; preparation and practice. You already have both. You've prepared for this day for almost eight weeks. You've practiced this step for the last eleven days. Now you just have to convince yourself you are ready to do it." Carl's Psychology degree was coming in handy today. Carl had a way of taking any situation and breaking it down into easy understandable details.

"Okay, let me paraphrase here. So you're saying I'm…what…scared? That I might fail or something, therefore, I'm sending mixed signals to my legs and they don't know which ones to follow, so they do nothing. Did I understand that right?" John asked for clarification. "Is that what you're trying to tell me? I'm all screwed up, up here?" John waggled his head to indicate his brain. There was no way he was letting go with one of his hands to make the outrageous gesture of circling around the side of his head indicating he was crazy.

"Yes Colonel. First off you're not crazy. It's not that simple however. Yes you have certain aspect expectations that you may or may not knowingly feel. Insecurities that just about anyone would at this juncture. You're leaving your comfort zone Colonel. For the past twenty-seven months you have grown accustomed to using the wheelchair. That has been a large part of who you are and is of significant comfort to you. Now you are literally stepping away from that comfort zone you created. It is only natural for you to be apprehensive, maybe even a bit panicked. Let me say again 'no' I don't think you are screwed up in any way. These feelings are natural and to be expected."

John thought to himself for a few minutes, trying to get the message unscrambled in his brain that he really wanted this. He wanted to move his right leg and foot and take his first step in two years. His brain must not be listening, as he thought and pleaded to himself, nothing happened. He just stood there looking down. This wasn't making any sense he used his mind and thoughts to control Ancient technology. He could control drones and the puddle jumpers with a mere simple thought. Doors open, lights and water turn on at a flicker of a thought. Why couldn't he get his brain to listen to his thoughts now?

Giving up was not an option but the Colonel's endurance was growing thin, his head was pounding from a headache that had started, from his frustration and forced concentration. He had been standing there for over thirty minutes. His muscles were twitching under the skin of his arms from holding his body in place.

"Colonel I…" Carl started to say as he was reaching for his bicep but the Colonel stopped him with a sharp tone.

"No! I can do this. Don't touch me." He snarled, yet his legs still would not budge from their spot.

"Colonel, please…" Carl started once again to object.

At that moment the Colonel's legs folded underneath him and his arms slammed down on the rails, however the harness kept him from injuring himself. Carl moved in to help the Colonel sit back down in his wheelchair.

"Get this thing off me!" He yelled pulling at the front buckles. His fumbling fingers were trying to get them undone in lightening speed, however failing.

Carl worked fast to release the buckles and free the Colonel of his therapy harness. The Colonel no longer had patience and he slapped Carl's hands away. "Don't! I need some air." He stated and whipped his wheelchair around and immediately left his quarters. The safety harness was still wrapped around his torso with the buckles half undone, straps flapping as he rolled away.

TBC

7/14

17


	8. Chapter 8

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** I am NOT in the medical, military or science professions so what you read is just 'winging it'. Hope it sounds plausible. Also in my stories there will always be Dr. Weir and Dr. Beckett.

This is the fourth story I've written dealing with Colonel Sheppard's disability. Preceding order: Three for the Price of Two, Conquering Adversities, Unexpected Surprises.

The story was beta read and any remaining errors are my own. Enjoy.

Life Altering

By Kwillads

Chapter 8

"Colonel, is your team ready to depart?" Dr. Weir asked from her stand on the balcony. Colonel Lorne's team was headed out on a mission to M2R-913. The planet was devoid of life and vegetation but an Ancient lab that Michael may have used had been found when Col. Caldwell had investigated two months ago.

The mission had been put off due to Col. Lorne taking over temporary command. Dr. Weir wanted him to settle in and get comfortable with his new responsibilities before adding missions to his overabundant workload. Although she knew John was helping out when he could Elizabeth still didn't want to over tax her temporary commander. Dr. McKay was another reason why the mission had been postponed. The Physicist didn't want to leave Colonel Sheppard those first few weeks until he knew for sure the implant was working properly. Then, as usual, other projects crept up besides his continual work on a shielding program.

But now things had calmed down and Lorne and his team were going to investigate the lab on M2R-913. Dr. Weir nodded to Chuck to start the dialing sequence.

Carl came running into the gate room shouting for Dr. McKay. Carl had gone to McKay's lab where Dr. Zelenka had informed him he was about to depart on a mission. Carl ran down the hall took a transporter to the gate level and ran towards the gate room as soon as the doors whooshed open in the hope of catching Dr. McKay before he departed. As Carl neared the gate room he heard the sound of the gate dialing and sprinted into the room shouting. Dr. Weir told Chuck to cancel the dialing after the fifth planetary symbol had been encoded. Below Carl and Rodney talked in private for a few minutes, then she heard Rodney get on his comm and tell Dr. Zelenka to grab his gear.

"Rodney, what's going on?" Elizabeth asked as she leaned against the balcony railing. Lorne, Teyla and Ronon were waiting to hear his explanation as well.

"It's okay Elizabeth, I called Radek, and he'll go with Lorne and check out the lab. I have something more important to do right now." And before she could ask what, Rodney had disappeared out of the gate room.

Dr. Weir stood with her arms straight grasping the balcony railing with consternation. "Dr. Epson, care to explain what that was all about?" Looking down at the Doctor and the remaining members of Rodney's team Dr. Epson looked a bit winded and raveled. He had never interfered with a gate mission before.

The four climbed the grand stairs, crossed the control room and entered her office, closing the door behind herself.

"Carl what's going on?" Weir asked for the third time in five minutes.

"I'm sorry Dr. Weir, but I need Dr. McKay to find Colonel Sheppard. We didn't have a very good session this morning and the Colonel left. He doesn't wear his comm while we work out and I'm afraid he left his room without it. I looked for him in the few places that I know about but he is not at any of them. I have no way of contacting him. I just want to make sure he is all right. It was not my intention to interrupt the mission." Carl apologized to the small group in the office.

"Let us help." Offered Teyla. Not only was she speaking for herself, but for her teammates as well. Locating the Colonel was more important than a mission.

Dr. Weir held up her hand as she tapped her comm to speak to Rodney and after a few minutes she agreed to send them off with Dr. Zelenka in his place. It took some doing but she persuaded Lorne, Teyla and Ronon to complete the mission and promised them a full detailed account on the Colonel when they returned. Reluctantly the team moved out of her office and towards the gate room floor. She followed them out to the control room where Radek had been waiting all geared up. The four of them headed down to the gate room while Chuck started the dialing sequence again. After the team departed, she had Chuck bring up the city-wide sensors to try and pinpoint where Colonel Sheppard might be.

"Rodney he's on the southern pier. City-wide shows only one life sign." Elizabeth said into her comm. "It must be him."

"_On it."_ Came a quick reply from McKay.

Dr. Weir and Carl exchanged glances. They both headed back to Elizabeth's office and Carl sat down to explain what happened as best he could without crossing the confidentiality line.

oOo

John rolled across the southern pier and as he came to the edge he stopped just inches away from the edge. Huffing from the exertion, he struggled as he managed to get the therapy harness undone. Frustrated with himself for his lack of prowess minutes ago he balled the material up and tossed it away. He was half tempted to toss it into the Atlantean sea.

He clinched his eyes shut from the stinging wetness. 'Failure'. That's what he was—a failure. He kept hearing his father tell him that over and over again. Nothing he did could live up to his father's expectations. Not just in his military career, but as a child growing up.

"_If you would have stayed on third base you could have won the game with the next batter. There were only two outs. Instead you cost your team the championship. Do you enjoy failing your friends?"_ Patrick Sheppard yelled loudly at his son. The other parents and kids were glancing their way as they walked past heading to their cars. It was only a little league championship game. _"Well? Answer me!"_

"No dad." John mumbled to himself as the flashback played out in his mind. "For Christ sakes Dad, I was only twelve." He listened to the water crash up against Atlantis. John had never answered his father that day. No matter what he would have said in his defense, his father had already made up his mind and would only see him as the failure he was.

Another flashback ripped through his mind and he heard his father shout 'failure'. As John sat there more father and son flashbacks assaulted his mind. The tears were streaming down both cheeks as he tried to gain control over his emotions.

Coming home with a black-eye and bloodied nose after fighting Blake Hermsdale. His father didn't care that he was protecting his father's honor, all his father saw was the damage done to his son who failed to keep his hands up in a schoolyard fight.

An 'F' on his report card for failing biology in the eleventh grade; arguing over which college to attend: Harvard or Stanford. And choosing Stanford. Never joining Mensa after he passed the test with the highest percentage ever recorded to date. Failing his marriage. But the failure that hurt the worst was when he couldn't save Capt. Holland. Blackening the Sheppard name and being exiled to the Antarctic had done it for his father.

Failing to rescue Sumner. Failing to find Ford and bring him back to Atlantis. Now he was failing yet again. He couldn't make his legs do what he wanted.

He had memorized the definition of 'failure'. It was his father's favorite word for him. As he sat in self-pity he saw the name of 'John Sheppard' as the ninth definition. His dad had been right along.

John would let Carl know he was quitting—giving up - after he managed to rein in some emotional control.

oOo

Rodney approached his target from its nine o'clock position. John sat, staring out at the waving water, his hands folded and resting on his lap. A balled up chunk of fabric, straps and buckles lay five feet from where the Colonel sat on the pier.

"Go away Rodney. I want to be left alone." Came a shallow, small voice. John didn't have to turn his head to see who was approaching. He could see in his peripheral vision it was McKay. Reaching up John wiped away the wetness. It was only a matter of time before someone came looking for him. And he figured Carl would ask McKay first before alerting the whole base of his disappearing act.

"Here. Carl said to drink this. And if you don't, I'm supposed to threaten you. His words, not mine." Rodney announced holding out a bottle of water to the Colonel. "What is it with Doctors and their threats? Aren't they supposed to be compassionate, caring, gentle human beings?"

John took the bottle from the proffered hand and glancing up he noticed that Rodney was dressed in full off world gear; backpack, computer and P-90 hanging from his vest. He started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Rodney was a bit confused at the Colonel's manic behavior. Not to mention his red tear swollen eyes.

"You dressed in full gear to find me." John stated and continued to laugh. It was a sad laugh nonetheless.

Rodney hadn't given his wardrobe a thought. He hadn't taken time to change out of his off world gear, after Carl told him what had happened. He just ran out, heading for the mess hall to grab water, stopping quickly at his lab to pick up a life signs detector. "Oh…no I…we…" It really wasn't important to explain.

"You were going to 913 today." John whispered. He screwed up again. He knew Rodney was excited about searching the Ancient lab that Caldwell had found from the first mention of it two months ago. _'And instead of going, he's out here on the southern pier with me. You're really pathetic John. Pathetic with a capital 'P'!'_

"Radek took my place. Hey, why don't you and I take Jumper One to the mainland and sit on the beach for a while and just relax. You've been working so hard you barely have anytime for yourself these days. Or your friends."

"You hate the beach Rodney."

"Who told you that?"

"You have on numerous occasions. You hate the sand, the sun. You hate the rain and snow. I'm not sure there is a weather you do like." John paused for a moment before continuing. "I'm okay Rodney, really, you don't need to stay. I'll go back in a little while. You can tell Carl you found me and that I'm fine. I just need some air, clear my head for a while that's all. There's no need to worry about me, I promise I won't roll over the edge." His gaze went back out to the rolling waves that would eventually crash against Atlantis's iron-like dock.

"What would you like to do then? You've been working yourself silly seven days a week for God knows how long. The last time I did something like that, you had me escorted to my quarters by two burly Marines. And since I am not in command of the Marines I can't reciprocate very well now can I? So I ask again, what would you like to do?"

"I want to walk." John said quietly.

"I know that already, that's why you've been working so…hey wait a minute, it that what happened this morning? Carl said you didn't have a very good session, but he didn't say why."

"That's why you're a genius and I'm just a washed up pilot." He closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at Rodney's expression from what he had just said. He knew he was feeling sorry for himself, but the words just slipped out before he could stop them.

Rodney unclipped his P-90 and laid it on the pier. He took off his pack and vest and sat down leaning his back against a large two foot circumference iron rod pylon protruding out of the floor of the pier. After making himself as comfortable as he was going to get on the hard surface, "tell me what happened." He wasn't going back. Not unless the Colonel came back with him. He started this whole thing and Rodney was not about to give up now. He opened his vest pocket and took out two power bars offering one to the Colonel, while using his teeth to open the other one in his hand.

John took the power bar and laid it on his lap along with the unopened bottled water. He wasn't interested in food or water right now. He wasn't interested in company. He wasn't interested in talking either. But the only way to get Rodney to leave him alone would be to talk. "Carl said its stage fright, performance anxiety."

"Stage fright? What does that have to do with anything?" Rodney managed to get out around his chewing.

"He thinks I'm scared of failing and therefore sending mixed signals so that my legs don't know which signals to follow. He's says it a natural response to leaving my comfort zone." _He's probably right too._

"Are you?"

"Am I what?" John asked tearing his gaze from the water back to Rodney.

"Are you scared?"

"It's what I want Rodney. What I've worked so hard on these past eight weeks for. It's why I allowed a Replicator Block to be surgically implanted in a section of my spine. It's why I've neglected my friends for God's sake." John's voice crescendoed in intensity as he spoke.

"You didn't answer the question. Are. You. Scared?" Rodney punctuated his statement clearly.

John thought about his question. Was he scared? He wanted to walk so badly, yet he couldn't get his legs to obey. He'd defied his father; he wasn't a failure…was he? He'd gone to Stanford and graduated with honors. He'd rose to the rank of Lt. Colonel and it was enough for John to know that he could have been Mensa. There was nothing to be scared of, was there? "No…yes…maybe…I don't know." John bowed his head and shook it slightly; he didn't know what he was. It was all mixed up inside his head.

"When you learned to fly helicopters you had instructors with you, right?" Rodney stated the obvious, changing the subject again. "Teaching you what you needed to know."

"Sure."

"You had to solo at some point which means in the helicopter you were all by yourself, no instructor, no outside help and no safety zone. If anything went wrong, it was just you and your machine. Right?" Rodney stated another fact.

"Yeah. What's your point?"

"How did you do it?" Rodney asked.

"Do what?"

"Don't play innocent with me Colonel, you know what. How did you manage to solo?"

"Well…I mentally reviewed everything I had been taught. I think I remember gritting my teeth, kissing my ass goodbye, and then did it fast." John said looking over at Rodney giving him the short version. Rodney gave him the 'go on' look and the Colonel continued. "Once my hand touched the throttle I started to get an adrenalin rush like no other. Then all my training kicked in and the next thing I knew I was in the air. Being in the air is like no other feeling in the world." Looking toward the sky John remembered his final combat solo flight.

Graduation was at the end of the week and John took with him everything he had learned…

"_Blackhawk Delta Niner you're cleared for ACM maneuvers." The Control Tower informed him._

"_Roger Tower. Blackhawk Delta Niner cleared for ACM." Capt. Sheppard replied._

"_Delta Niner you're cleared to Angels Three. Bogey will be waiting. Good Luck hunting. Tower out."_

_Sheppard took a deep breath in. 'This is it,' he told himself. 'The moment of truth. Live or die time.' The rotors were at max speed the knot in his stomach tightened. He rechecked all dials and switches making sure they were all in their correct positions. The second the skids left the tarmac John knew this was what he had trained so hard for. What he was born to do. Capt. Sheppard eased the Blackhawk up to three thousand feet. This was like no other feeling in the world. The hum of the blades…yes he considered them humming…sweet music to his ears. First he put the Blackhawk through her paces making sure she responded to him. The airship glided to his left, then to his right. Turned on a dime, ascended and descended with such a gentle touch. There was nothing he or his flying ship couldn't do. He was ready for his final test. _

_It hadn't taken him long to spot his Bogey. The Bogey was sitting with the sun to its back hiding. But not hiding well enough. Capt. Sheppard saw through that old trick and got into an attack posture using the sun as well. In his minds eye he knew there wasn't just one Bogey. But so far only the one showed up on his display. He was going to take out that Bogey on his first try. No other pilot thus far had done that. He wanted to be the first. _

_The air battle didn't last long at all. He had locked on target and taken out decoy Bogey number one with little resistance. His HUD displayed Bogey number two coming at him fast from his six trying for a squeeze play. Sheppard sent his helicopter into a steep dive. Bogey two following. The hills were coming up fast in his view screen and at the last minute he pulled out, turned 180 and had Bogey two in his sights. Target two was tagged, painted and destroyed all in less than a minute. He was sure there would be another Bogey out there and as he hovered he did a 360 degree scan of the horizon. It wasn't until the Tower radioed and requested he return to base that he knew it had only been the two Bogies. The Air Combat Maneuvers were over._

"_Understood Tower. Blackhawk Delta Niner returning to base. ETA eight minutes."_

"Then what happens?"

"What?" John brought his gaze back from the sky with a smirk on his face. He had been the only pilot in his training class that had taken out both Bogies and were looking for more. Most of the other pilots had concentrated on the obvious single Bogey and allowed the second one to get too close, painting their ship in the combat maneuver. His flight instructor had told him he was 'gifted'. He also told him to stop being so cocky. His 'issues' with authority would someday catch up with him.

"I asked what happens after you get in the air. What happens next?"

"Then you complete your assigned maneuvers and eventually bring the chopper back in for a landing. You get kind of scared all over again, then your mind starts going down the check list of what you have to do to make a safe landing. Even though you checked off everything in your mind, you know you still could have forgotten something but you go ahead and just do it. You follow through with your gut instincts and land. If by chance I did forget something, my helicopter would warn me. After you land safely that first time you don't worry about anything nearly as much from that point forward, you know you can do it. So the next time you go out solo, you still get that same adrenalin rush but you forget all about being scared, I just knew I was meant to fly Rodney. It gets easier and easier with each flight, no matter if it's in a plane, helicopter or an Ancient puddle jumper." John finished explaining.

"So…if I got this right you're saying you were scared but did it anyway." Rodney's grasp of the situation and recap of what the Colonel had relayed to him was nonetheless succinct.

"Yeah I guess."

"Did you think of failing? Was that an option?" His friend asked him again.

"Sure I thought about failing, who doesn't, but for me that was not an option. I wanted to fly and nothing was going to stop me from doing that." John informed him. He remembered when his father took him for his first flight when he was ten in his F-15 Eagle and from that moment on he was hooked. He knew he was meant to fly. He knew he was destined to be part of the big blue sky.

"What would have happened if you'd failed?" Rodney injected.

"I chose not to fail. I wanted to fly more than anything." John told him.

"Do you want to walk more than anything? Just like flying."

"Of course." John said wondering why Rodney would ask such a stupid question.

"Then why are we sitting out here on the southern pier in the heat? You should be in your quarters walking. And I should be on 913 with my team. Radek is good but not nearly as good as I am. He will probably screw things up and I will have to go back to undo whatever he did." Rodney realized he was off on a tangent and stopped. "Look…you just told me you were scared to solo, but you did it anyway. You chose not to fail. I don't see any difference between you taking your first solo flight or taking your first step in nearly two years." Rodney said matter-of-factly.

oOo

"Good Colonel, keep going you're almost to the end then you have one more lap to do. You're doing great." Carl coaxed as the Colonel put one foot in front of the other. This was his fourth lap down and back on the ten-foot length of parallel bars. Carl set the goal high. He only expected the Colonel to make three laps. Over the past few weeks when Carl set a goal the Colonel easily surpassed it and yet the Colonel still berated himself for being weak and not doing enough. So Carl thought he would try some reverse-psychology and see how the Colonel handled that.

John's hands gripped the stainless steel bars as he slowly and methodically inched his way down the oak platform. Every step he took, took less concentration. It was becoming more natural. Three weeks ago, it took Rodney to give him a boot in the ass, metaphorically speaking. John had to think and concentrate on every action: bend knee, lift foot, move it forward, set it down. Over and over in his head he repeated that mantra. Three weeks later walking was becoming a normal function for him albeit with a harness. He didn't have to concentrate quite so hard now.

As he moved the length of the platform, the therapy harness he wore moved the overhead arm along its track with him. John gripped the handrails tightly; his head aimed downward keeping watch on his legs. He was beginning to tire and had to concentrate hard to give his legs mental commands to keep going. Carl said five laps and he was only three-quarters the way through his fourth. Perspiration ran down from his temples into his eyes making it harder to see and concentrate. He would have wiped it away, but that would have meant letting go of the handrail. Right now he needed both hands to steady his exhausted quivering body between the parallel bars. He tried to wipe away the sweat on his t-shirt covered shoulders however his attempts were only half successful.

"Carl …as much as…I…hate to admit this…I don't think I can…take another step. Let alone… another lap…can…can we stop?" The Colonel's legs were tiring and his arm muscles began to quiver more prominently under the stress. He hated himself for feeling this way and wanting to quit. Damn his body for not holding itself together. All other goals Carl set for him he surpassed, why was he having trouble on his one?

The Colonel had about two or three more steps before he reached the end of the bars and his wheelchair. His movements became slower with each passing minute. Before Carl could answer him about stopping, the Colonel's right leg buckled causing him to fall into the right handrail unexpectedly. He didn't have enough strength left in his left leg or his two arms to hold himself up and he faltered. The harness pulled against his descending weight and the Colonel let out a 'harrumph' sound as his right ribcage impacted the stainless steel handrail before the harness stopped him.

The Colonel clung to the rail. He knew he wasn't headed for the floor as the harness protected him from just that. He tried to breathe deeply but for now found himself panting. His ribcage announced its abuse with a fiery throbbing. Carl was beside him instantly lifting him up but the Colonel's legs would no longer hold his weight.

"Colonel, I'm coming around to your left side. When I put my shoulder in place, release your left hand and put it around my shoulders. I'll unhook you from the safety harness arm and set you down in your wheelchair." Carl explained the procedure. It wasn't the first time, nor the second, not even the third time Carl had to rescue him from himself. John listened to his instructions and when he felt the ever strong presence of Carl he would let go.

The Colonel grunted and waited for the help he needed to get back into his chair. His side ached with each inhale. He detected Carl's presence on his left side. When he felt the solid mass under his left arm he let go of the rail and wrapped his arm around Carl's shoulder as instructed.

Carl released the harness and pivoted the Colonel around so he could sit down. The Colonel was exhausted to say the least but was glad to be sitting for the time being. He slowed his breathing as his left arm automatically wrapped around his ribs for protection. The Colonel had his eyes closed and hadn't seen Carl release the brakes on his wheelchair.

The sensation of the movement was strange. He cracked open his eyes to take in his surroundings. "Where are you taking me?" John asked while trying to stop the wheels from advancing.

"You hit your right side pretty hard. You are going to the infirmary to be examined and maybe have an x-ray taken. You've worked so hard to get this far, I don't need to tell you that any relapse now would be detrimental to your progress." Carl explained pushing the Colonel down the hall from their room to the transporter.

John couldn't argue against that logic. He didn't want a set back. In his mind he was already behind schedule no matter what Carl told him about his progress. His right side hurt, but he was sure it was just a bruise. Many times before, too many to count John had broken or even cracked ribs and that felt a whole lot worse then this did.

Entering the infirmary they found Carson doing post-mission checks over Captain Overton's team. They had been off world following up on a lead they got on their previous mission about Michael and his superbugs.

"Captain, anything new on Michael?" The Colonel asked as he was pushed closer to the Captain.

Dr. Beckett turned his head to see the Colonel and Carl approaching and noticed right away that the wheelchair was under Carl's control and not the Colonel's. The Colonel didn't allow outside help and it was an odd sight to see when he did.

"Nothing Sir. We found more of those egg sacks, but no sign of Michael, his bugs or anything that remotely looked like a data information source. The planet was lifeless same as from what our immediate scans told us." Overton reported. "It had been despoiled like the others, Sir."

"Did Col. Lorne send a science team back?" Questioned Colonel Sheppard.

"Yes Sir. Dr. Steiner's group along with Lt. Ruiz's team for escort."

"That makes eight planets." Colonel Sheppard stated to the room.

"Alright Captain, you're free to go. All checks good." Dr. Beckett advised.

"Thanks Dr. Beckett. Colonel, you'll have my report by end of the day." He grabbed his gear from under the exam bed and strode out of the infirmary.

Beckett turned his attention to Carl and the Colonel next. "Okay lad, what have ya done to yourself this time?"

"Nothing." The Colonel replied out of habit still holding his left arm tightly against his ribcage.

"Aye, I can see that's 'nothing', holding your side like that. Now why don't cha tell me what happened." Carson crossed his arms and looked sternly at his friend.

Before the Colonel could come up with a believable response that sounded better than it really was, Carl opened his mouth. The Colonel should have known he wouldn't have been able to get away with anything less than the truth.

"Dr. Beckett, the Colonel hit his right ribcage on the handrail fairly hard during our session. I believe an examination is in order and possibly an x-ray to see if the Colonel cracked a rib or not. I have not examined him, we came straight here." Carl explained.

"Thank you for being so forthright with me Doctor. Treating patients is so much easier when you know what has happened and have all the pertinent details." Carson replied.

"I tell you when I get hurt." John offered up in his own defense still guarding his side. "Just because I don't come running to you every time I get a hang nail like someone else I know doesn't mean I keep things from you."

"Aye you do, but only after you've hidden it from me for several days or you've made it worse by sparring with Ronon or Teyla and you have no other choice but to tell me." Carson berated.

"I…" John started to protest, but changed his mind. For two years now he couldn't have even hidden a hangnail from either of the good Doctors. Everyone on base down to the janitorial staff turned him in if he so much as got a scratch. He wasn't going to win this by any means, so he decided a strategic withdrawal was in order. He wasn't like that at all. He just had a high tolerance for pain and it was usually a day or two later that he realized he had a problem.

Carson taking that as a sign of admission, he changed the subject back to the present. "Okay, let's have a look at those ribs. Pull your shirt up for me Colonel." Beckett said tossing the used gloves in the bio-hazard container and slipping on a new pair.

Carl helped the Colonel unbuckle the safety harness enough to allow John to pull up his sweaty shirt to reveal the start of a fist-sized bruise on his right ribcage. Carson prodded and the Colonel winced under his touch. "I don't think anything is broken. But I agree with you Carl that an x-ray is warranted to be on the safe side. Why don't you take the Colonel to x-ray. I have one more post-mission exam to complete."

"Thank you Dr. Beckett I will." Carl pushed the Colonel towards the back where the x-rays were taken.

Thirty minutes later the x-ray technician showed up with the Colonel's x-rays. Carson put the film on the lighted white screen to view. Carl joined him at his side to look over the black and white images with scrutinizing eyes.

"Nothing broken Colonel, but as you can feel, there is a deep bruise. I recommend two days of complete rest before continuing your sessions with Carl." Beckett told him in no uncertain terms.

"I've had worse Doc. Can't we…"

"Colonel, would you like to make that four days?" Beckett stated. Carl had kept him up-to-date on the Colonel's progress and Carson could see the abuse that the Colonel was putting his body through. This was his only way to get the Colonel to ease up. '_I should have said four days…why didn't I say four? The lad looks like he could use the rest.'_ Carson berated himself internally.

"Two days is fine. I get it." John grumbled under his breath as he thought _'two days…just for some bruises. This was a set back'_.

Carl realized that no matter what goal he set for the exercise, whether it be normal standards or whether he set the goal above normal standards the Colonel was not satisfied with his physical performance either way. This more than anything had the Swiss Doctor perplexed.

oOo

With two days mandatory rest the Colonel booted up his laptop to get some work done. He ran down the requisition forms before signing off on them. There was a six percent increase in bath gels this time. As he continued to read, he started with the most current mission reports and worked his way through the science reports. After several hours of reading the Colonel was still no closer to knowing what was happening to the planets. The expedition had been in this galaxy for five years now going on six and it was just in the last several months they started finding decimated worlds. Worlds which the Ancient database had told them were lush greenery and fertile soil, limited predators, for anyone who wanted to stake claim were no more. Several of the afore mentioned planets had Ancient outposts established. The decimated planets themselves were spread throughout the galaxy; one in the Tyrur system, two in the Nonac system, another in the Und system and the list went on.

John was propped up on pillows to ease his tender side while he worked. John had slid the laptop off his lap to the bed side and decided to rest his eyes for a few minutes. Just then Carl came walking through carrying a small brown box.

"What cha got there Carl?"

"Scrubbies."

"Scrubbies?"

"I thought you could use a new one and when I ran into Col. Lorne he mentioned you liked the black colored ones. Seems most everyone else preferred the bright colors which left quite a few of the black and gray ones. Col. Lorne already had them packaged for you so I stopped by his office to pick them up. I'll just store them in the cabinet by the sink."

Cringing at the thought as he closed his eyes and laid his head back into the pillows. _'Oh God.'_

oOo

Time seemed to fly by. It felt like the Daedalus had just left Atlantis and here she was back again off-loading more supplies and manpower. And no doubt bath gels for the entire expedition. Another seven weeks had passed and although his goal last time was to walk up to the ships commander John had to settle for standing with the help of Carl. When the Daedalus landed this time, John walked out to greet Col. Caldwell. He wasn't walking without aid. The Colonel had graduated from wheelchair to forearm crutches. Sort of.

At first when Carl showed him the metal crutches that slipped over his forearms the Colonel refused to use them. They reminded him of handicapped people and he hadn't considered himself handicapped in any way, shape, or form. After a few days of protesting which got him nowhere, John started using the crutches around his suite. It took some time to get used to them, but John persevered.

"Nice to have you back Colonel." John said to the ships commander. He was standing off to the side of the cargo ramp when Col. Caldwell came walking down. John straightened as much as he could. The Colonel still had to rely on his crutches for balance. John managed a quick military salute, not quite to regulation as he didn't want to land face first on the pier.

"Nice to be back." Caldwell replied. "It seems you're progressing well, Colonel."

'_Was that a hint of encouragement?'_ John thought. "Yes, well, I wish I could get rid of these things." Colonel Sheppard pointed to the forearm crutches he was using in order to walk.

"I'm sure you will Colonel. In due time." Caldwell said. "We're not needed here for the unloading; your men have it well in hand. Why don't we head to the city, there is much we need to discuss." Caldwell gestured toward the east pier doorway.

Colonel Sheppard followed along, clack, shuffle, clack, shuffle as he made his way to the door idly talking to the ships commander. Caldwell held the door open for John and was surprised when he saw the Colonel's wheelchair parked inside the door.

"I…um…can't walk long distances…yet." Sheppard added as he shrugged and stepped in front of the wheelchair and lowered himself down carefully. Resting the two cane-like crutches between his legs, he started rolling down the hall with the Daedalus Commander walking along side. The two military men continued their idle conversation as they journeyed back into the city.

oOo

"Sheppard to Epson." The Colonel said into his comm. He had been back in his room for over an hour and Carl still had not showed up to give John his afternoon torture session. He always had a session right after lunch.

"_Epson here."_

"Carl, I thought we had a workout session planned for 13:00 hours this afternoon. Where are you?" Asked the Colonel.

"_I'm in the practice gym Colonel. I'll have to cancel for today. Something came up."_ Carl advised not offering any further explanation.

"Okay. Sheppard out."

The Colonel thought about the quick exchange of words and thought that was strange. Carl didn't like skipping sessions and frankly neither did the Colonel. He wanted to be back on full duty and the only way for that to happen is to keep up with his morning, afternoon and evening sessions with Carl aka _'The Swiss Torturer'_. The Colonel wondered what had come up. As far as he knew there were no teams on stand-down, due to any physical injury, that would require Carl's help. No outbreaks that could be considered emergencies in the infirmary that would require an extra doctor.

John couldn't stop thinking about why Carl canceled on him, it was driving him crazy. What could be so important that he would cancel? John decided he would go down to the gym and see for himself exactly what Carl was doing and why he was being stood up.

He grabbed his two crutches, positioning his forearms in the padded cuffs that contoured to his muscular forearms and made his way out of his quarters. The gym was just a short walk from the nearest transporter but the hallway was crowded. This area usually saw only Marines, but today he found several of the scientists as well as his Marines and Airmen bustling about. Many were carrying packages, some large, some small.

Some of the expedition members were heading towards the gym carrying metal rods, square disks; rectangle shaped padded forms and more. One expedition member carried a sack full of what looked like nuts and bolts. He noticed that the people coming out of the gym were empty handed and no where near sweaty as if they had gone in for a work out. To say the sight that greeted him stepping out of the transporter was strange would be redundant. He skillfully navigated his way through the crowds of people passing by in the hallway he made his way to the gym door and looked in. Now his curiosity was really up.

Carl and Evan stood in the middle of the room each with data tablets in hand checking off items as they were dropped off by the civilians, Airmen and his Marines. Two other Marines, Buckland and Moore, he noticed, took the hand-off and set the parcels on the floor. John made his way inside and up behind Carl and Evan. "What is going on here?" He asked in a rather loud voice.

The two men startled at the question coming from behind them while the military personnel stood at attention as the Colonel approached and the whole room went quiet and activity came to a stand still like LA in five o'clock traffic as everyone waited for Carl or Evan to explain. Evan looked at Carl and Carl looked at Evan. Neither man wanting to explain, but both knew someone had to say something and soon.

Colonel Sheppard looked around briefly at the still and quiet room and with a wave of his hand and an "as you were" he motioned for the military staff present to relax.

Carl took pity on the Lt. Colonel and offered up a response. "Colonel, I didn't expect you to come down here."

"You don't just cancel sessions either. And your 'something came up' was a lousy excuse even for you. What's going on?"

"Well I'm helping Colonel Lorne with some inventory." Carl said tapping his pen against the data tablet.

"Okay, Colonel, mind telling me why you have my physical therapist helping you do inventory? When there is a whole base full of Marines at your disposal. And what is this stuff?" John stated looking between the two men and the accumulated pile of metal pieces that were scattered about the floor.

"Sir, I…we…well…" Lorne tried to come up with something believable but words failed him. So he just blurted out the truth. "Okay, Sir, the truth is, you're not the only one who can order unauthorized equipment from Earth. Dr. Epson needed a specific piece of equipment for your continued rehabilitation. The SGC didn't think it was warranted. It went over the weight requirement allowed by the Daedalus as a whole unit. So we had to come up with an inventive way to get the equipment and keep the load under weight restrictions."

"Just how did you manage that?" Colonel Sheppard asked of his Second in Command.

Just then Dr. Simpson who was waiting her turn, broke line, and came into view with a five foot metal beam, or rod of some sort. She needed to get back to the lab and couldn't wait any longer. "Dr. Simpson, what is that you have there?" Asked the Colonel eyeing the metal pole.

"Oh, this? Well on the manifest it states it's a 'conductive rod'." She replied happily.

"What do you need with a conductive rod Doctor?"

"Me, nothing, but I was glad to help Dr. Epson and Colonel Lorne with their small problem." Simpson replied, thrusting the metal rod into one of the nearby Marine's hands and leaving without saying another word. Carl quickly checked off the conductive rod off his inventory list before turning his attention back to the Colonel.

"Guys…out with it. What is all this stuff for and why are the civilians…" Colonel Lorne cut off his superior officer from finishing his statement.

"Colonel these are all parts to a weight training machine. Carl said it has a hip sled, with a leg curl/extension station and a vertical knee raise, shoulder press and more. He told us you needed this to complete your physical therapy."

"Us?" Asked Colonel Sheppard.

"Well…yes, me, Dr. McKay and Dr. Weir. Between the three of us we managed to get the machine stripped down and packaged as either personal items or necessary scientific apparatuses. You'd be amazed at how much scientific mumbo jumbo Dr. McKay used on some of the requisitions. He really has a gift. He said that if you put enough scientific rig-a-ma-role on something the Brass usually stamps it approved. They don't want to take the time to find out that you're asking for an AAA battery." Lorne looked to his commanding officer and saw the lines furrow on his forward with the 'get on with it' look. "Sorry Sir, a couple of buddies of mine that work at the SGC helped us out." Lorne finished quickly.

"Okay, I understand. But if this machine caused our normal supply run to be overweight, then what did we loose?" The Colonel knew that if this machine had come, something had to have been left behind and he couldn't imagine what the expedition could do without. Everything the Daedalus brought them on each run was a necessary supply. Okay, he'd admit that the skis or the two snow boards also known as 'white boards' were not a necessity, nor was the box of DVD movies and football games, but it sure was nice on movie night. There were only so many times you could watch 'Back to the Future' and its sequels before you craved a new movie. Besides, he shared the movies with the whole base. And we won't talk about Carson's fishing pole or Lorne's art easel and paint supplies. Then there is Cadman's stationary bike she keeps in her quarters. The Colonel had done some amazing finagling and creative documentation in order to get the unauthorized-authorized necessities his people wanted to Atlantis. He owed quite a few people favors both on the Daedalus as well as back on Earth at the SGC.

"Nothing." Stated Lorne.

"Nothing?" Asked Sheppard with a quizzical eye lift.

"Yes Sir, nothing was left behind. That was the beauty of the whole plan. And before you say anything, it was mainly Dr. McKay's idea." Lorne mentioned.

"I need to sit down." John dead panned.

Carl dropped his data tablet and put his strong arm on the Colonel's bicep and helped him over to the window seat to sit down. "Thanks."

"Colonel, are you all right?" Inquired Carl kneeling down and going into Doctor mode.

"Yeah. But anything that is McKay's doing can't be all that good." John repeated.

Evan stepped closer to fill the Colonel in on more of the details. "Actually Sir, there's more. You know that each individual is allowed fifteen pounds of personal space for care items each trip. Well about a third of the expedition gave up their personal space in order to get this weight training machine here. Dr. McKay sent out an e-mail asking for volunteers. Those that didn't volunteer helped bring some of the personal items that those who volunteered would be without. It was really quite the undertaking but very few personal supplies were left behind and we still managed to get the weight training machine here. Right now Dr. Epson and I are cataloging in the pieces before we can start to put it together. We didn't want to start this until Col. Caldwell and the Daedalus had left for Earth."

"Good call Colonel. Caldwell wasn't too happy when he found out we use paint ball guns in our war games." And yeah it was another item he smuggled to the Pegasus Galaxy. "I can only imagine what he would think about a weight training machine that the SGC told us we can't have." Sheppard mentioned looking at the line of people holding parts ready to be checked in. "Get back to work. If you don't mind, I'd like to sit here for a while."

"Yes Sir." Lorne said and went back to cataloging in the next part.

"Colonel, are you sure you are all right? Colonel Lorne can handle this and we can go back to your quarters…" Carl stated.

"No. I'm fine, really. I just need to sit for a moment." (The news was rather overwhelming to say the least.) John replied.

Carl went back to stand next to Lorne. He picked up his dropped data tablet and began checking in the next piece to the puzzle of the weight training machine. Carl kept a close eye on the Colonel as he checked in the next piece, the next and the next after that.

Colonel Sheppard sat on the window seat for a while watching the steady stream of Marines, Airmen and civilian scientists bring in piece after piece of the metal monster. As he watched he pondered who would get the pleasure of putting the machine together. As he thought more about it, he figured Col. Lorne probably already had that figured out.

"Where's this weight machine going to be set up?" The Colonel asked out loud to no one in particular. His room already looked like a neighborhood gym and the only place it could possibly go would be in the living space, which meant he would have to get rid of his furniture.

"It will be set up in here, Sir. After you have completed your therapy, I figure the military and any of the civilians who wish could use it." Lorne informed his superior as he checked in the next part that was brought in.

"_Zelenka to Colonel Lorne."_

The Colonel's attention was taken away from cataloging in the next part at the sound of the Czech scientist in his ear. "Lorne here Doc. What can I do for you?"

"_You could do for me by opening stubborn door."_ Dr. Zelenka said in English before muttering something else in his native language that gave a slight chuckle to the Colonel. _"It will not open. Most stubborn. I've tried crystals and all is working, just door won't open. I think it needs ATA gene touch."_

"What door Doc?" Col. Lorne asked before he realized that Martin's team was on escort duty with the Doc and other scientists.

"_Door in south hallway. Section seventeen."_ Zelenka advised him.

Colonel Sheppard overheard their conversation on the open channel and since he had no workout session and his ATA gene was stronger than Lorne's. Well more precisely the strongest on Atlantis he cut into their conversation. "Radek, its Colonel Sheppard. Col. Lorne is pretty busy right now. How about I give the door a try?"

"_Yes. Yes, that would be excellent Colonel. Thank you Colonel. I know you busy man, did not want to disturb. Hope not taking you away from something important."_ Added Dr. Zelenka.

"Just so happens I'm free Doc. Carl canceled our workout session for this afternoon so, no, you're not taking me away from anything important, and I was just sitting around. The walk will do me good."

"_Very well then. Good." _

"Okay Doc, I'm on my way. Give me twenty, twenty-five minutes to get there. I'm leaving the practice gym now. Sheppard out."

The south hallway was one transporter stop away from the practice gym. Section seventeen was midway or so down the corridor. The Colonel had read the reports. The scientists were checking out the labs found in this sector and had been for weeks now. Since Carl canceled on his therapy session the Colonel figured a walk down a hall would give him some practice and exercise at the same time.

"Carl I'm walking to section seventeen in the south hallway to help out Dr. Zelenka. That way you and Col. Lorne can continue with what you got here." The Colonel said as he settled his arms back into his crutches and got up from the window seat.

"That's good Colonel. Since I canceled on you, the walk will do you good." Carl responded.

"That's what I thought, too."

"Sir. Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Finish what you're doing. The walk will do me good."

oOo

The Colonel was making good time down the south hallway. Once he got out of the hall near the practice gym which was littered with people and parcels. He told Dr. Zelenka it would take him twenty minutes or so and he found his pace a bit faster. Once he got outside the city there were less people he had to dodge or slow down for. It pleased him that he was actually walking better and faster even using the chrome crutches.

"Hey Dr. Z. Is this the door giving you problems?" Upon his arrival he saw where Radek and two other scientists stood along with their Marine escort.

"Yes Colonel. Many problems."

"What's so special behind door number one?" The Colonel asked jokingly. He stepped a little closer to the door crystals where he saw Radek already had the panel off. He'd been trying to hot-wire it open.

"We believe lab has something to do with power grid for city."

"I thought the chair room controlled all that power stuff for the city." The Colonel stated.

"Yes, yes. Chair room can control and reroute but uses lots of power to do so. We believe this lab is control center. Uses less power and does same job as chair."

"Sounds reasonable enough. Let's see what surprise lies behind door number one?" John placed his hand over the door crystals and nothing happened. "Okay so much for the easy way." This time John steadied himself, feet slightly apart one in front of the other and put one hand on the door crystals and the other on the door itself. He closed his eyes and thought 'open'. The door whooshed open. Had it not been for the quick action of Dr. Zelenka, the Colonel would have fallen when the door retracted from his hand. "Thanks for the save Doc." The Colonel gave Radek a grin in appreciation. "If this is all you needed, I'll head back to the city now."

The Colonel watched as Martin instructed his Marine detail and watched the escort team enter the lab to do a preliminary sweep making sure it was ok for the scientists to enter.

"Yes go, we can handle rest now. Thanks Colonel, I knew your special touch would do the trick."

"No problem Radek, glad to help, it's been awhile you know." The Colonel stated and began walking back to the inhabited part of the city.

"_Zelenka to Colonel Sheppard."_

"Sheppard here Doc." Noticing he was in section one and almost back to the city.

"_Colonel, control console will not initiate. We were correct, this is power control room. Could you come back to initiate console for us?"_ Asked the Czech scientist. There were times like this that he wished he had the Ancient gene, strong like the Colonel's. He had tried Dr. Beckett's gene therapy but it hadn't taken.

"Sure Doc. On my way." The Colonel stopped his forward momentum and did an about face and started back down the hallway from whence he had come. As he shuffled his thoughts took him back to the practice gym. Knowing his friends and expedition members had given up their personal space on the Daedalus to ensure the new equipment got to Atlantis was staggering. He was glad his afternoon was interrupted by a mission of mercy for one Czech scientist and a stubborn door.

TBC

8/14


	9. Chapter 9

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** I am NOT in the medical, military or science professions so what you read is just 'winging it'. Hope it sounds plausible. Also in my stories there will always be Dr. Weir and Dr. Beckett.

This is the fourth story I've written dealing with Colonel Sheppard's disability. Preceding order: Three for the Price of Two, Conquering Adversities, Unexpected Surprises.

The story was beta read and any remaining errors are my own. Enjoy.

Life Altering

By Kwillads

Chapter 9

Reaching the room twenty-five minutes later he nodded at the sentry posted outside the door in the hall and turned to watch the three scientists talking and pointing. They were hooking up their equipment in different ways and removing, shifting and reinstalling crystals in the main console trying to get it to come to life. "Where do you need me Doc?" He finally said taking another step into the lab.

The escort team stood guard in a triangle formation throughout the room while the fourth member stood at the open doorway in the hall. Ever since his little mishap with Cpl. Blair the Colonel enacted a new protocol that at least one member of the escort remain outside of any lab or ancient ruin that was being investigated whether it be on Atlantis or off world. He was glad that he could see his Marines were following directives. Martin had been a recent addition to Atlantis and showed potential. Col. Lorne had him select a team and this was their third escort mission, first said mission unsupervised. And from what Colonel Sheppard had observed Martin and his team were doing a good job.

"Oh Colonel, here please." The Czech pointed to the large console in the middle of the room. "Please…we tried several times, but still nothing. I think it just needs to be initialized. There is plenty of power. I hope you have better luck."

"We'll see." The Colonel moved into position in front of the large console, and gave it a cursory glance before deciding that the two palm plates located in the center at the bottom was where he needed to place his hands in order to initiate the device.

Cautiously he placed his two palms flat down on the cold plates. Nothing happened, not even a blink, blimp or twitch from the console. He allowed his palms to rest there, this time he closed his eyes and thought the console 'on'. The device briefly blinked. The three scientists gathered and shared a held breath in hopes it would activate. The Colonel opened is right eye to see the panel was still dark. Opening both eyes he took another look at the console as well as the three faces waiting for a miracle to happen.

"Dr. Z. are you sure you put everything back the way you found it?" The Colonel asked.

"Yes, yes. Just like we found it. Please Colonel, try again." Radek said then uttered softly, "soustředit se na." in his native language.

"I was concentrating Doc." He replied. "I'll try again. Here goes." The Colonel closed his eyes once more and concentrated deeper as he thought the console 'on'. The panel lights began blinking.

"Yes! Keep going Colonel, almost there." Radek shouted with excitement. "Soustředit."

The Colonel kept his eyes shut but rotated his head from shoulder to shoulder as if working out a kink. Sweat beads appeared across his brow and his face was tight with determination and concentration. The panel before him sparked and sizzled and finally the panel lights came on and stayed on. Two other consoles in the room also lit up in sequence. Overhead a visual display showed the many power grids of Atlantis.

The Colonel opened his eyes slowly. The scientists were already downloading data into their laptops muttering to themselves, and at each other, as they went from console to console. John carefully removed his hands from the palm plates and was relieved when the console stayed active. He hoped he would not have to stand there to keep it activated.

"Doc, do you need me any more?" John asked.

"No Colonel, thank you. This is amazing." Radek answered quickly and turned back to his laptop studying the data that streamed across it. "Rozhodně! ohromující."

"You're welcome. Are you sure you don't need me for anything else?" John asked just to be sure.

"No Colonel, everything fine now. Thank you again for activating console." Radek replied.

John smiled at the scientists'. They had the excited look of having a new toy to play with. He headed back to the city one step at a time.

John's progress back to the city slowed at section eleven. He continued on until his legs felt like last nights blue jello, ready to bend any second. John was almost back, but he just didn't think he could keep going and he sure didn't want to fall. He was so close to his goal, that of walking and full active duty in six months. A goal he was keeping to himself. John moved close to the wall. Putting his back to the wall he gave a little sigh. What he really wanted was to lie down. There was nothing in this section but labs and he doubted he'd find a bed. His next thought was to just sit on the floor. He hadn't tried sitting on the floor before and really didn't know if he would be able to get himself back up or not if he did.

His legs were wobbling just standing against the wall. John decided he would slide down the wall and if he had trouble getting up later, Dr. Zelenka or the Marine escort would help him get up on his feet. John took the right crutch off his arm and rested it against the wall then he did the same with the left. He placed both hands against the wall for balance slowly bent his knees and his body carefully slid down the smooth cool surface. Once he was down, he stretched out his legs and leaned his head back. He was close to a corner so he shuffled himself towards the corner to rest. It was a bit more comfortable than just the straight wall.

He could hear communications on the open channel from his comm but none of that was directed to him. He looked at his watch, 16:53 hours. He decided he could rest for a half hour before finishing his journey back. He reached up and removed his comm tucking it into a pocket. He needed quiet just for a little while. He closed his eyes and let exhaustion claim him.

oOo

Carl and Evan completed going over their inventory list, double checking to make sure they had all their parts. There must have been over a thousand parts; the practice gym was littered with black metal everywhere. As the two surveyed their data tablets once last time it was determined that every part was accounted for. It had taken all afternoon to catalog all the parts. The next task was to put the weight machine together but that could start tomorrow. It was dinner time now and both men were hungry.

It was 18:17 hours and Rodney, Ronon and Teyla entered the mess hall to have dinner together like they had for the past eighteen months or so. Although running a bit late. The three sat at their usual table eating their dinner and discussing their day. Evan and Carl soon joined them, running late as well, surprised that the Colonel wasn't there too. "Where is Colonel Sheppard?" Asked Carl.

"Haven't seen him since lunch." Ronon advised.

"Nor have I." Announced Teyla.

"Same here." Rodney said between mouthfuls.

"Epson to Colonel Sheppard." Carl said into his comm. "Colonel Sheppard, please respond." He said a few minutes later.

"Didn't you have a therapy session after lunch?" McKay asked.

"No, I had to cancel. Although the Colonel came to the practice gym until Dr. Zelenka called for his assistance." Carl explained.

"McKay to Zelenka." Rodney said quickly.

"Jakživ ke přerušení!" Came the reply over the headset from the agitated Czech.

"English Radek, English."

"_Yes sorry Rodney, what do you want now?"_

"Have you seen Sheppard?"

"_Not for several hours. He helped initiate console in power grid lab sometime ago. Is there problem?"_ Radek asked out of concern for the pilot. The Colonel had always been nice to him.

"I'll let you know. McKay out." "McKay to Sheppard." He said one more time into the comm system.

"Power grid lab? That's in the south hallway, section fifteen?" Evan stated from memory.

"Yes, actually section seventeen." McKay corrected.

There was no answer and the five seated around the table began to worry. Dr. Weir had heard the hails for the Colonel that had all gone unanswered. "Rodney, is there a problem?"

"Don't know Elizabeth. Sheppard hasn't been seen since…," snapping his fingers at Carl and Evan to fill in the missing time. "…15:00 hours when he left to help Zelenka. Zelenka reported he hasn't seen him for several hours, since 16:30. Have…what's their name…bring up the city sensors and concentrate on the south hallway." McKay instructed Elizabeth. Rodney wasn't good with names and couldn't remember who was on duty in the control room.

Dr. Weir asked Mary to bring up the city-wide sensors, specifically the south hallway to look for life signs. "City-wide shows seven life signs in section seventeen, and one life sign in section five. The one in section five is stationary." Elizabeth reported to McKay.

"Thanks Elizabeth, we're on it. Carl's here with us, we'll let you know." Rodney backed away from the table leaving his barely touched dinner behind; so did the four others seated with him around the mess hall table. He relayed what Elizabeth found on the city-wide sensors as the five made their way to the south hallway, section five.

Elizabeth watched from the control room as five dots moved swiftly down the south hallway towards the lone dot that still remained unmoving. She was biting her thumb nail waiting and watching. _'What have you done this time John?'_

Jogging down the hallway Ronon spotted a boot. "There!" Ronon shouted and pointed to the open bulkhead door ahead of them. His pace quickened ahead of the others.

The five arrived on the other side of the doorway to find the Colonel leaning back against the corner of the wall and door frame, head tilted off to one side, hands across his chest, legs straight out with his crutches beside him, eyes closed, breathing effortlessly and most definitely sleeping.

Carl stepped forward and leaned down to check for a carotid pulse. He gently placed his two fingers on the side of the Colonel's neck. The touch brought the Colonel into action, as he grabbed at the hand and twisted it back, up and towards his attackers elbow, eliciting a painful gasp. By the time he opened his eyes to look at his would-be attacker he was already planning his second and third moves.

"Sheppard stop! It's us." Rodney shouted.

John looked at the man whose hand he had twisted in pain. Realizing it was Carl, he let his grip go. Carl rubbed his wrist and stepped back. Wary of what the Colonel might do next. Carl stepped back a step. He hadn't ever really seen the military man in a combat situation but he knew that was a practiced survival skill he had learned. John looked up to find Rodney, Ronon, Teyla and Evan all staring down at him.

"What's wrong?" John asked innocently.

"What's wrong?" Rodney echoed. "What's wrong is that no one has seen or heard from you for hours. You didn't answer your comm. And you're late for dinner." Rodney threw in for good measure as he rattled off in typical McKay fashion as only he could do. "Hey…why didn't you answer your comm?" Rodney knew from experience that the Colonel was a light sleeper and should have responded to the first call.

John put his hand to his ear and the comm was not there. Then he remembered he had taken it off to rest when his legs got tired. He reached into his pants pocket and pulled it out, showing it to his friends before placing it back on his ear.

"I got tired and needed to rest. There was too much chatter on the radio so I took it off." He explained.

"Got tired?" Rodney huffed.

"Yes McKay, tired. I walked all the way to section seventeen, opened the door to the lab for Radek and was almost back to the city when Radek needed my help again. So I walked back from section one to the lab, initiated the console and started back to the city. I got this far before my legs felt like they would buckle. I didn't want to chance falling, so I stopped to rest. I only planned on a half hour. Sorry I scared you guys, really, I'm okay. I just needed some rest." John explained. "Carl is your wrist okay, you startled me."

"Yes Colonel, I think I will be fine. You were sound asleep, how…?" Carl asked.

"It was just a reflex action. Sorry." The Colonel offered as an apology.

"Okay now that we know you're still with us, how about we all go back to the mess hall. I'm sure my dinner is cold by now or has been tossed in the recycler." Rodney mentioned.

"I am sure, Dr. McKay, that you will be allowed another dinner. Not to worry." Teyla offered in condolence.

"Sir, can I offer you a hand up?" Evan asked reaching his hand down.

"Yes as a matter of fact you can." John took the offered hand and with Ronon's assistance the two men managed to get the Colonel standing again.

Carl leaned down to pick up the crutches. Once the Colonel had his crutches the six walked back to the city and to the mess hall. Rodney contacted Elizabeth to let her know that everything was fine and that the Colonel was taking a nap. That earned Rodney a dirty look from the Colonel.

"You know Rodney, Rose said you did a great job with the kitchen equipment. I could arrange for you to be the _only_ one to do their maintenance."

Rodney was about to rebuke that statement then thought better of it and kept his mouth shut. The walk back to the city and mess hall was done mostly in quiet. John heard a few snickers along the way.

oOo

"Colonel why don't you sit on the mat first and stretch your legs before we begin the leg curls." Carl said upon entering the practice gym.

"Sure." The Colonel who was down to one crutch now, lowered his body to the mat and began stretching and warming up his muscles.

It had taken Col. Lorne, Dr. McKay and several other Marines and two engineers longer than expected to put the exercise machine together. A whole three weeks to be exact. During which time the Colonel kept walking and Carl had added numerous floor stretching and endurance exercises along with stairs to his sessions. Down the hall from his quarters in the Central Tower there were stairs leading up to Level Seven. Carl had the Colonel go up and down at least two times a session. For the last couple weeks Rodney had somehow persuaded Atlantis to lock John's bio-signature out of all the transporters so he had no choice but to use stairs to get to his destinations. All in the name of rehab Rodney told the Colonel.

The Colonel was stretching his right leg, "are you sure this is safe?" He pointed to the huge menagerie of metal.

"Yes, Colonel, it is safe. Col. Lorne had several Marines use the device, _**just **_to be sure, once all the parts were in place."

"And no one is going to come in here." The Colonel made it a statement rather than a question.

"That is correct Colonel, no one will enter. We have the whole room to ourselves until 11:30. That gives us two and a half hours of uninterrupted time in the morning. The same will apply for the afternoon. From 13:00 hours to 16:00 hours the room is ours. Colonel Lorne posted and e-mailed the entire base. You can be assured of your privacy. There is even a guard on duty outside the door." Carl explained.

"Really? A guard?" John shook his head. _'Why am I not getting these memos?'_

"Yes a guard. Colonel Lorne knows that you like your session's private and has taken all necessary precautions to safeguard that. Now if you're finished stretching, we will start on leg curl/extensions."

The Colonel got up from the floor on his own. It wasn't graceful by any means. He rolled over onto his hands and knees and using the single crutch pulled himself up to a standing position. He moved over to the black bench and sat down, having swung his right leg over to straddle the seat. He hooked his ankles between the lower pad rollers and waited on Carl to give his instructions.

"That's good Colonel. Okay for your first lesson, there will be no added weight. Make sure your back is against the padded back rest. Don't let your hips rise up, because this will put undue pressure on your lower back and take away the tension we want on your hamstrings. I want you to do at least ten leg curls to start. Then we'll adjust your position to work the outer and inner quadriceps for ten repetitions. Extend your legs up, straightening them and squeeze at the top. As you bring the weighted bar back down, do not allow your knees to go past 90 degrees of bend. I want you to stop if you have any muscle strain at all. I don't need to remind you that we don't need any injuries at this late stage in the game. Right?" Carl stated.

"Right. Do ten to start, change positions, and stop if I get a cramp. Got it." The Colonel replied. "Hey, you're going to keep count right?"

"Yes. Now begin." Carl rolled his eyes then added. "It's not like you can't count to ten Colonel. I heard you count to ten if my ears heard correctly a few months ago in several different languages I believe."

"Yeah…well I was sort of upset back then." John wasn't sure if Carl was referring to his outburst back in the infirmary at him or the one before with McKay. "My mother always told me if I feel like I'm losing my temper I should count to ten first. In McKay's place it usually takes five or six times in order to keep my temper. So to keep it interesting I count in different languages."

"Out of curiosity just how many languages do you speak?"

"Fluently I speak and understand six languages…seven if you include English. Not so fluently I speak and can make out certain words in six other languages."

"That's amazing. How come so many?"

"I believe that if you visit or invade a country you should at least know how to speak the native language. So at every new posting I've had in my military career I've tried to learn their language. Sometimes my postings were short, that's why I only know and understand a little. Secretly Miko Kusanagi is teaching me Japanese. Um Carl…can we keep this just between us?"

"Of course. But why?"

"Well…it's…people act differently around you if they know you can understand them. This being an International Expedition I kind of like flying under the radar. Sometimes people will say things when they don't think any one else is listening or can understand. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff I've overheard."

"I think I understand Colonel. It will go no further than this room. I won't bring it up again. Now we've wasted enough time so let's get back to our exercises."

The Colonel did as he was told and started to lift the lever up straightening at the top of the flex. Then he lowered the lever back down. When Carl reached ten the Colonel stopped and waited for his next instruction.

"Okay, now I want you to work on your outer quadriceps, _Vastus Lateralis_ as the medical world calls them. This muscle runs along the outside surface of the thigh. Turn your toes out slightly and point them. Do ten repetitions and then we'll work on the inner quads." Carl instructed.

The Colonel did as he was told and started to lift up the lever with his toes pointed slightly out. Carl kept count as he concentrated on the new position.

"Now for the inner quads. To work the teardrop or inner quadriceps, _Vastus Medialis_. This muscle is located a little above the knee on the inner thigh, lean forward just a little, curl your toes back and turn them slightly in." Carl explained.

The Colonel got into the new position and pulled his toes towards him and started his ten repetitions. Feeling the difference in the slight pull of the muscle, he internally counted to ten. When he finished he sat back resting his back against the padded upright seat back.

"How do you feel Colonel? Do you think you can do thirty more?" Carl inquired.

"It feels good. Same sequence?"

"Yes."

John started with ten repetitions and moved into the second position without stopping, pointing his toes for ten more and seamlessly moved into the third position and pulled his toes back and finished his last ten. Sweat covered most of his t-shirt and his sweat filled hair was plastered to his forehead while tiny beads of sweat trickled down his neck. John let his head fall back against the seat, closed his eyes and breathed deeply. It was amazing how only sixty reps caused all this sweat.

Carl watched the Colonel as he rested. They still had forty minutes left in the gym. The Colonel had surprised him again by making quick work of the sixty repetitions. Carl should have known that the Colonel would not take the whole two and a half hours.

"Excellent Colonel as always. You again managed to do sixty repetitions in less time than I allotted. Your legs will need time to rest before you try and stand. I will help you back to your quarters to shower when you are ready." Carl informed him.

"Good, 'cause I don't think I could stand even if I wanted to." The Colonel replied without opening his eyes.

"Colonel, in a few days I will add five pounds of resistance. Then continue to add resistance periodically as you build up your strength. This afternoon we will work on leg extensions. We have three hours but I have a feeling we won't be needing all of it." Carl said with a smile knowing the Colonel would again accomplish his lesson in less time then he predicted.

"Colonel…I know I said I wouldn't mention this, but if you don't mind me asking, what six languages do you speak fluently?"

Cracking an eye open the Colonel responded. "German, Spanish, French, Russian, Czech and Farsi."

"And the six you don't."

"Arabic, Italian, Gaelic, Japanese, Chinese and Mandarin." Replied the Colonel. "Oh and I am also trying to read and learn Ancient. Kind of helps a little living in an Ancient city if you can understand it."

Carl was stunned to say the least. Coming from Switzerland where he spoke mainly German he had had to learn English. He couldn't imagine learning that many other languages. The Colonel just kept surprising him. Carl was surprised this topic had never come up before.

The Colonel rested for fifteen-twenty minutes before deciding he could stand. He had one arm wrapped around Carl's neck, the other held tight to his one and only crutch as he made his way towards his quarters. The sixty leg curls had felt good, energized him, but left his legs feeling like wet noodles. Since Carl had taken his wheelchair away, he had no choice but to walk back to his quarters under is own power. John didn't mind that the wheelchair was gone. At times he did use it like a crutch. It was always there to fall back on when his legs gave up. Not having it made him work all that much harder to get his full independence back. He still had one crutch, but he hoped soon that would be gone as well.

The Colonel only had to navigate two short stretches of hallway; one from the practice gym to the transporter and the other one from the transporter to his quarters. Thanks to Carl they were able to take the transporter and John was relieved he didn't have to climb any stairs. The Colonel clung to Carl for support as they made their way to the suites door.

"I'm surprised the transporter worked."

"It will only work if my bio-signature is with you. I made sure Dr. McKay made allowances for that."

The pair limped their way into the Colonel's bedroom and Carl sat the Colonel down on the edge of his bed. Turning towards the military commander's dresser, Carl set about getting a fresh set of clothes, "Colonel, you get undressed while I get you fresh clothes to put on." Carl advised him, pulling out another black t-shirt and sweatpants from the opened drawer. Carl laid the clothes on top of the dresser, and then opened a second drawer that contained John's boxers and socks. Carl took those out and laid them on the pile already atop the dresser.

"Colonel, are you ready for your sho…?" Carl stopped mid sentence as he turned around towards the Colonel.

In the time it had taken him to pull the Colonel clothes out, the Colonel had pulled himself up onto his pillow, managed to get both legs on the bed and was fast asleep, sweaty clothes and all. Breathing normally, the exhausted Colonel lay stretched out on top of his bedding. Carl just smiled and took out a light blanket from the closet and threw it over the sleeping Colonel.

Carl allowed the Colonel to rest for an hour and a half. It was closing in on 13:00 hours and the Colonel had yet to shower or eat lunch. The practice gym was reserved from 13:00 hours to 16:00 hours and if the Colonel continued his trend of accomplishing his exercises in less time then allotted, which he knew the Colonel would do, it didn't matter that they arrived late to start their afternoon session.

Carl woke the sleeping Colonel and advised him to shower and put on fresh workout clothes while he went to the mess hall to get them lunch. By the time Carl got back with two lunch trays the Colonel had finished showering and dressed for the afternoon session. They ate lunch and talked about this or that in German until it was time to head to the practice gym.

"Colonel, go ahead and stretch your legs again like you did this morning before we begin." Carl instructed.

John did as he was told. A few minutes later he was ready for leg extensions or knee raises as Carl also called them.

"Okay Colonel, sit firmly with your back against the rest, bring your feet up and place them just slightly over the top of the metal plate. That's correct, good." Carl instructed. "Now I want you to push forward quickly until your legs are almost straight. Exhale as you push out. Good. Bring your feet back more slowly, as far as is comfortable. Let your knees go up rather than out to the side. Just like that, good. Now a little faster, remember to exhale as you push out and keep your toes above the plate just a little. You're doing really good Colonel. Keep going." Carl commended.

"Are…you…keeping…count?" The Colonel said in between thrusts.

"Of course." Carl replied.

The Colonel had done thirty-six leg presses or knee raises before he no longer had the fortitude to push one last time. His legs were quivering under his sweatpants, his brow covered with a sheen of sweat and his t-shirt clung to his body. He rested for fifteen minutes before deciding to try and stand up. He hoped that all this exercise, although doing him good, would still allow him to walk out of the practice gym and back to his quarters.

As he stood on quivering legs, the Colonel held tightly to the weight machine for balance while he positioned his forearm crutch. He certainly didn't want to fall now, set backs were not an option at this stage of his rehab. Gradually he let go of the weight machine and took his first step on his unsteady legs. Carl was close by and at the ready just in case.

The Colonel found his balance and walked to the practice room door, he just had to make it down the short hallway to the transporter and one shorter hallway to his quarters. He could do this. Whereas John had clung to Carl after his morning session, he wanted his afternoon session to show improvement, thus he was doing his best to make it back to his quarters under his own power, what little he had left anyway. As John left the practice room, he stayed close to the wall, he didn't touch it, but at least it was close if he needed the support. John managed to make it back to his room without any mishaps along the way.

As sweaty as he was he wanted another shower, but as tired as he was and because his legs kept shaking, he opted to lie down and rest. He would shower when he woke up before heading out for dinner. Carl followed him into his room. The blanket from this morning still lay draped across the foot of the bed. John reached down and pulled it over him with a final sigh of relief as he let his eyes close. Carl watched him for a few minutes. Deciding that the Colonel was alright; he left for his own room to relax.

John and Carl continued this routine for four weeks. The Colonel would do knee curls/extensions in the morning session along with two flights of stairs. Every few days or so, Carl would add resistance to the weight machine. In the afternoon sessions the Colonel would do leg extensions, as well as leg lifts from the exam bed. In the evening he did his normal PT along with several other leg lifts and endurance exercises Carl had added over the last few weeks.

After the morning session ended, that first day the Colonel leaned heavily on Carl in order to make it back to his room without collapsing in the hall. Now that he had built up more strength in his legs, he managed to make it back to his room under his own steam using his single forearm crutch. Once in his room he'd collapse on his bed and sleep for a couple of hours.

His normal lunch was usually around noon, but lately he found himself eating later. It mostly depended on his workout. Sometimes John needed a solid hour to rest, other days longer. Carl seemed to know when he would wake and by the time he showered and changed, his lunch would be sitting on the dining table in the living space waiting for him. On several occasions his friends would be there to. Not unlike today.

John woke to pressure on his bladder and figured he needed to do something about it right away. Tossing back the cover he sat up on the edge of his bed, raked a hand across his face to wake up a bit more before he stood and walked into the bathroom. After he finished his business there, he smelled food and was drawn to the living space. He needed to shower and change clothes, but the smell of food pulled him in the direction of the living space. As he padded his way into the living space, Carl, Rodney and Ronon sat around the table with lunch trays. There was one open seat left and he hoped it was his and not Teyla's.

"Is that mine? Because I am starved right now." He said for openers. John continued to walk towards the open seat at the table.

At the sound of the Colonel's voice, the three men around the table looked toward him with astonished looks on their faces. The Colonel paid no attention to their surprised looks; he just wanted food and that was foremost on his mind. That and a shower of course. He took hold of the chair, moving it back to sit down. He picked up his fork since no one said anything to the contrary that this tray was not his lunch and started eating. The three men continued to stare at him making him nervous.

"What?" The Colonel asked holding his fork inches away from his mouth for another bite.

Carl was the first to respond. "Colonel do you know what you just did?"

"What? Oh no, don't tell me this was Teyla's lunch. I asked you guys, but none of you said anything so I thought it was mine. Where is Teyla anyway?" John said to his stunned looking friends looking around the room expecting Teyla to pop up.

"No Colonel, the meal is yours. What I'm referring to is that you walked out here without your crutch." Carl explained.

Rodney and Ronon had yet to close their mouths at the sight they had witnessed.

"I what?" John asked.

"Look around Colonel, no crutch. You walked out here under your own power, as if you had never been paralyzed in the first place." Carl stated. "What were you thinking at the time?"

The Colonel had that deer caught in headlights look again. He looked around his seat looking for that metal crutch he had been using the past seven weeks to get around. "When I woke up, I needed to use the bathroom, so I got up and went. When I came out, I smelled food and came in here. I wasn't thinking anything other than I was hungry." John set the fork that had been stuck in mid-air down on his plate. "Huh."

"Huh. That's all you got to say is 'huh'. You walk out here unaided and all you can say is 'huh'?" Chided Rodney from across the table. "It's a fluke, that's what it is. I bet you can't get up and do that again without falling flat on your face." Rodney stated.

"You're on. What's your bet?" John asked, he wanted to know if the reward for proving Rodney wrong was worth him finding out if it was a fluke or not.

"I…I…I bet you a half dozen candy bars."

"Do you even have six candy bars Rodney? I know you gave up your personal space on the Daedalus this last trip." John reminded him.

"Oh I have six alright. And I bet I'll still have six once you get up to prove your little stunt here was a fluke." Rodney was so sure what the Colonel had done could not be repeated that he bet his last six candy bars, throwing down the gauntlet so to speak. He was hoping that he was wrong though. He really wanted the Colonel to prove he was wrong, just this once. He wanted to be wrong for the right reason.

"Okay, challenge and bet accepted. However, I do have one condition. Carl, if I can do this and win McKay's bet, you have to let me eat at least one of the candy bars with no residual punishment later for it. No one handed push-ups or anything. Deal?"

"Deal Colonel." Carl said. "But just one." He added.

"McKay that was a sucker bet." Ronon announced.

Both John and Rodney looked at the Satedan with curiosity. In unison, they both asked. "Where did you learn that?"

Ronon shrugged his shoulders, "I get around."

"You're definitely spending too much time with the Marines." John said with a grin.

The Colonel moved his chair back away from the table, he placed his right hand on the table, and his left on the back of the chair and stood up. _So far, so good_, he thought to himself. He let go of the chair and the table. He stood tall and took a tentative step forward. Nothing happened. He was still standing, he hadn't wavered, his legs felt strong and sturdy so he took another step leading off with his left foot this time. He took another, and another. He walked back to his bedroom door, turned around, walked to Carl's bedroom door, then he headed towards the balcony door. On his return trip he made a loop around the coffee table and came back to sit down at the table.

"What do you know…it wasn't a fluke. I can walk." That last part he muttered to himself.

Ronon slapped his large hand on the Colonel's back, almost sending him face first into his lunch plate. Rodney smiled from ear to ear and yelled congratulations even though he was only two feet away. Carl clamped a hand on his left bicep and squeezed along with giving accolades.

oOo

The last four and a half to five months had been grueling rehab. But that was the way John wanted it to be. He ate, slept and breathed walking. John was walking now unaided and his legs were growing stronger everyday. He kept his mind set on his goal; the one he kept secret only to himself.

After the life altering events that happened at lunch Carl had given John the afternoon off saying he earned it. The Colonel had pushed himself so hard lately that Carl felt he could use a little downtime if only for one afternoon. John had sent Rodney off to get his 'sucker bet' as Ronon called it. John couldn't believe how happy Rodney seemed to be about losing six candy bars. With instructions to retrieve his wager and return directly to John's quarters, John's mouth started watering at the opportunity to eat chocolate without paying the consequences. Carl had this thing about chocolate; what it was John was not quite sure. He was Swiss after all. Didn't they have their own chocolate? All he knew was that he was never allowed to indulge in its sweet, melty goodness and when he did sneak a candy bar, somehow Carl always found out and punished him later for his indulgence. Although doing forty one-handed push-ups was not that bad of a punishment considering it was chocolate after all. And neither were the extra twenty pull-ups or sit-ups Carl had imposed once or twice after finding out. Chocolate was worth it.

It took Rodney just a short fifteen minute round trip to return with his wager. John knew how much Rodney loved chocolate yet Rodney turned them over with a huge smile. One could even say Rodney McKay was literally beaming at the loss. How creepy was that?

John examined the six chocolate bars he held in his hands. "Thanks McKay. I wasn't sure you would actually part with them."

"Well…let's just say it's a 'sacrifice' I'm willing to make." Rodney replied. Remembering the day when Sheppard had said somewhat the same thing after his accident. _'Look at it this way; we got three fully charged ZPM's. I'd gladly give up my legs for that. It means more to me that Atlantis and all her people will be safe. What are two legs, when you're talking about a whole city of people?'_ Snapping out of his thoughts, "hey…enjoy and remember Carl said you only get to eat one of them. I've got to get back to the lab. See ya for dinner."

"Yes mother!" John yelled down the short hallway after Rodney's retreating form. "Thanks."

Without stopping Rodney just waved and continued into the transporter. John went back inside his quarters, his hands holding the Holy Grail as it were of Atlantis or maybe even of the whole Pegasus Galaxy. He didn't just have one kind of candy bar. Rodney had brought him a selection of six different ones. He had a plain Hershey bar and one with almonds, a Snickers, there was a Three Musketeers bar, an Almond Joy, and finally he had a Reece's Peanut Butter Cup – all king sized no less. Of course Rodney would have all 'king sized' bars, he never did anything small. How could anyone choose only one to eat?

John sat down at the table where he had recently finished lunch. Spreading out his choices before him, he gave each a long mournful stare. He wanted them all but Carl had only agreed to allow him to eat just one...without repercussions. It reminded him of the potato chip commercial where they bet you "you can't eat just one." I wonder if I could eat one sixth of each one to make a whole? But how do you eat just one sixth of an Almond Joy or one sixth of a Snickers or one sixth of a Hershey's milk chocolate bar? He wanted them all, not just one, not just one sixth of each but all of them. He would have to plan carefully if he was to succeed in eating more than one without getting caught.

"Colonel, are you alright?" Asked Carl coming back into the living space they shared. He had offered to return the luncheon dishes and trays to the mess hall while Dr. McKay was sent to retrieve candy bars. Specialist Dex had an off world mission in an hour.

"Huh? Sure. Why wouldn't I be? I walked. I won a bet from McKay. I have six tantalizing chocolate bars in front of me. For which, I might add, I got your solemn promise not to be punished for eating one of them. So why wouldn't I be alright?" The Colonel replied agonizing over his selection and knowing he had to pick just one.

The Colonel sat at the dining table for another hour trying to decide. When he couldn't stand to look at the candy another minute further he put them away in his secret hiding place in his room. No it was not the box on the top shelf of his closet that Carl thought all his winnings from numerous bets were stashed in. He had actually found a secret compartment, almost like a safe, in his room. The day he found it he wondered if all the Ancients had a secret compartment in their rooms. Someday he would have to check his old room for one. But for now he would stash his chocolate treasure away for safe keeping. He would contemplate which one to eat while he got a little work done. Once he stashed his chocolate stash, he brought out his laptop and set at the desk going over the latest mission reports. He had a back log of reports to read but chose to keep up on only the current ones for now. There was always time later to catch up. After mission reports he moved onto his military contingent. He reviewed which Marine details were scheduled to go with the science teams and made a few changes as well as a few recommendations.

Overall Lt. Col. Lorne was doing an excellent job in his new position as temporary Head of the Military. He was doing his own job plus those duties of military commander. As the hours stretched through the afternoon the Colonel managed to get through most of his current reports, mission requests and incoming e-mails. His duty assignment sheets had all been updated. The Colonel rotated personnel and added a few new names to the list from the Marines that had recently arrived on base. Based on some highly praised comments and staff reviews from Col. Lorne several of the new men and women had shown remarkable adaptability and leadership skills. It made perfect sense to put these few on gate teams.

He even had time to send out a few e-mails of his own before Carl appeared and suggested that it was time for dinner.

oOo

"Good Morning, Elizabeth." John said as he walked into her office from the control room holding two cups of steaming hot coffee. He paused at the door of her office. He was ready to start their seven am work session. He had made Ronon, Rodney and Carl all promise not to say anything to anyone as he wanted his 'fluke' to be a surprise. He had e-mailed Evan last night and told him he would take the 7am briefing. And by the looks and stares he received from the control room staff as he walked by, he was pretty sure no one had mentioned it. He could still feel their eyes on his back while he stood and waited for permission to enter.

"Morning, John." Elizabeth said, not looking up from the report she was reading. When she did look up she had expected to see him stepping out of the transporter at the back of her office. But instead the voice that greeted her with 'good morning' had come from her left towards the doorway. John took her morning greeting as permission to enter. As she turned her head towards the office door, she found Colonel John Sheppard standing in his uniform holding two cups of coffee at the corner of her desk.

"Mind if I sit down? I brought coffee." He said politely lifting up the two cups to show her one steaming cup in each hand. Since using the crutches John had not been able to carry coffee and Elizabeth was taken aback at the sight and gesture standing before her.

"Please." She whispered her slack jawed stare obvious with surprise as she watched him take the last few steps from the corner of her desk to the chair opposite her. Each step was radiantly confident. "John…?"

"I know it's new to me as well." He started saying as he offered her a cup of coffee. "I woke up yesterday after my morning session with Carl and just…you know… walked. You should have seen Rodney and Ronon's faces. It was priceless. I think that was the first time McKay has ever been speechless for a whole two minutes. And I won six candy bars from McKay." John added with a smirk before taking his first sip of the day's coffee. He couldn't help but feel happy with himself for accepting the bet.

"That's amazing John. What do Carl and Carson have to say?" Elizabeth inquired.

"Carson doesn't know yet. I asked Carl not to say anything until I had a chance to see him for myself. I thought I would drop in on him after breakfast and surprise him. Carl says I still have a few more weeks of therapy. I need to build up my leg strength. Then he wants to run a series of tests for endurance, range of motion and some other stuff he rattled off. When I pass, he will clear me for full-active off world duty. Overall I'd say he was pretty pleased." John gave Elizabeth a genuine smile that spoke volumes as to how he was feeling this morning. He fudged a bit, though, when he told Elizabeth that Carl had told him a few more weeks. What Carl had really said was 'a few more months'. Weeks—Months what was the big deal? As soon as he felt he was strong enough he would be back on duty.

"I, for one, will be glad to sign off on that report." Elizabeth told him and they continued their morning talk over coffee. Most of the conversation revolved around John. Little was spoken about up coming missions or scientific breakthroughs.

oOo

John ate a quick breakfast. He wanted to see Carson before heading to his quarters to change out of his uniform and into sweats. When he woke up he thought about just dressing in sweats, but it felt good to be back in full uniform for a change, even if it was only for a couple of hours. Ideally it meant he was getting closer to his one and only true goal.

When he got to the infirmary to see Carson, he was told that Dr. Beckett had left thirty minutes earlier for the mainland. Teyla had radioed in about some type of sickness so he and three of his staff members headed to the mainland to check it out. Teyla had gone to check on her people two days before. She was another person he couldn't wait to tell...show.

Since the infirmary had been a bust, he headed to his quarters to change. He had a workout session with Carl in the practice gym at 09:00 and didn't want to keep his therapist waiting. The transporter was just down the hall from the infirmary, but he opted to walk. He couldn't get over how good it felt to be walking without cumbersome crutches. Hell, just to be walking felt good. John knew he missed this after his accident but it had only taken him a little over two months to get over the anger of not walking completely, resigning himself to be wheelchair bound for the remainder of his life. Carl had said that it normally took people years to completely accept their condition and Carl was amazed at how the Colonel had apparently accomplished this feat in about two months. Carl figured it had to do with the current circumstances; enemy threats and security and safety of the expedition that drew the Colonel into acceptance.

John made his way down the back hallway that leads to the central tower. Up ahead he saw one of his Marines standing around. "Lieutenant," he greeted mildly. "This doesn't look like patrolling to me." Colonel Sheppard said to the young man as he strode closer.

"No Sir. I'm not patrolling. This is my duty station until I'm relieved at 12:00 hours. Sir." He responded kindly.

"Okay, carry on." Thinking it was odd that Lorne had stationed a guard in a back hallway. He started to walk past the Lieutenant only to be stopped.

"Sorry Sir, you cannot go this way." The Lieutenant said stepping into the Colonel's path.

"Has there been some kind of accident or something? Chemical spill?" If there had been surely he would have been informed so it was a bit of a mystery why he was not allowed to pass. His hand unconsciously reached towards his ear to make sure he was wearing his radio headset.

Before the Lieutenant could respond to his superior's inquiry two science team members approached and the Marine stepped aside to let them pass with a friendly smile on his face. Having passed un-questioned the Colonel thought this to be strange.

"Lieutenant, I need to get to the central tower." John said stepping to the left of the Lieutenant that stood in his way. But the new Lieutenant again shifted into his path.

"I'm really sorry Sir, but you'll have to go back down the hallway, go two levels down then cross over to the central tower." The young Lieutenant explained, believing it was helpful to give his commanding officer directions.

The Colonel was about to rebuke the Lieutenant's helpful directions as he knew every inch of Atlantis like he knew the back of his hand, when five Earth Science team members walked passed the two military men, again un-questioned and un-detained by the Lieutenant.

"Lieutenant, you are aware of who I am, are you not?" The Colonel asked. The young Lieutenant must have arrived on one of the last two Daedalus runs. He didn't know this Lieutenants name and he prided himself in getting to know each and everyone of them under his command. The Colonel didn't just learn their names but their strengths and weaknesses as well. And after a while he got to know the person behind the uniform. But being busy with rehab, he had neither the time nor the opportunity to meet the latest batch. After his workout sessions with Carl, he usually slept for a couple hours which didn't leave a lot of time for the standard meet-n-greet.

"Yes Sir." Snapped out the Lieutenant.

"Do you make it a policy to irritate your commanding officer at a new post?"

"No Sir."

"May I ask why I am not allowed down this hallway when so far everyone else who passes this way is allowed un-detained?" The Colonel inquired.

"Yes Sir. I am under orders from Lt. Col. Lorne that under no circumstances am I allowed to let **you** pass. Sir." Stressing the word 'you' as he responded that was all he knew. He hadn't been given any details as to why he had to detour his commanding officer.

John reached for his comm, "Sheppard to Lorne."

"_Lorne here Sir."_

"Colonel, I am in Section Two, Corridor E trying to get to the central tower." Colonel Sheppard informed his Second in Command.

"_You'll have to go back down the hallway to Section Eight, go two levels down then cross over to the central tower."_ Lorne replied.

"Colonel!" John said loudly into his comm.

"_Sorry, Sir. The reason Lieutenant Marks will not allow you to pass is because you would pass the west generator station within one hundred feet. It is a safety measure to keep you away from any possible sources of EM pulses or waves. It's all part of the new protocols that went into effect after your surgery. Sir."_ Lorne explained then added, _"Sir, I didn't feel it necessary to explain the reasons to the Station Guards, if I had, Lt. Marks could have advised you himself. I apologize for my shortsightedness. Sir."_

"Nothing to apologize for Colonel. Thank you. I'd like to discuss this with you if you have time…say in twenty minutes in the practice gym." The Colonel stated lifting up the cover on his watch and checking the time.

"_Yes Sir, twenty minutes, practice gym. Lorne out."_

"Lieutenant Marks, I owe you an apology. Sorry I raised my voice. Keep up the good work and you'll soon be informed as to why I am not allowed to pass. I promise." The Colonel advised him.

"Yes Sir." Marks said.

John turned around and walked back down the hallway, went down two levels and crossed over to the central tower heading for his quarters. While he took the long way around he contacted Carl to let him know he would be a few minutes late and to expect Lt. Col. Lorne. He also berated himself for not taking the transporter down the hall from the infirmary in the first place.

John reached his quarters, changed and took the transporter to the hallway outside the practice gym. When he walked in, he found Carl and Evan deep in conversation. John walked over to the mat near the work out machine. Evan couldn't help but stare at his commanding officer. From the time Evan noticed the Colonel was in the room he couldn't keep his eyes off the Colonel as he walked towards them.

"Sir…" Evan said with questioned surprise in his voice. What else could he have said? The Colonel was walking, unaided, his stride confident like before.

"Surprised me too." He said as he lowered himself to the mat. "Now I have some stretching to do before Carl kicks my butt, so you have ten minutes to tell me about these new protocols you and who knows who else have set in place for my safety."

Carl stood off to the side and let the two military men have their talk. He watched as the Colonel began his stretches warming up his legs for the hours to come on the weight machine.

"Yes Sir." Lorne said. "As soon as we knew that the implant worked after your surgery, I initiated safety protocols on your behalf. Dr. McKay determined that you were at risk if you came within one hundred to a one hundred-fifty foot proximity of any possible EM source. Therefore, I set up a two hundred foot perimeter around all such hazardous areas. Station Guards are in place twenty-four hours a day in the corridors where you are likely to travel to insure you don't get to close. I apologize again for not fully explaining to Lt. Marks or the rest of the Station Guards."

The Colonel gave a non-committal wave of his hand that meant _'don't worry about it'_ and continued with his leg stretches.

"The MALP's have now all been reprogrammed by either Dr. Zelenka or Dr. Simpson to detect EM emissions on planets. The range on the MALP, as you know, is limited so before your team goes to any planet, the UAV will be sent in to do an aerial sweep. Its sensors have also been recalibrated to detect EM emissions. If you take a jumper, those sensors will pick up any EM emissions and Dr. McKay has informed us that the cloak and shield will protect you."

"We've moved Lab 3 because their work involves research into electromagnetics because it was within an unsafe zone for you. I assumed you would want to be able to go to Dr. McKay's lab. I think you should know we had a hard time convincing Dr. McKay." Colonel Lorne said with a hint of mischief in his voice. "Lab 3 is now located in Lab 9."

The Colonel continued stretching his legs on the mat listening intently to what his XO was saying.

"Currently, I have a team out posting warning signs and putting up chains across certain corridors. Supplies have just arrived on the last Daedalus run and we do not have the manpower to post a Station Guard in every hall as you know. If you like Sir, I can resend you the schematic which shows which locations are off limits to you." Lorne offered.

As John reached both of his arms to grab his left foot in his current stretch he shook his head back and forth. _'See John, you should have started with the oldest files and then you would have known. You should have known your people were taking precautions to safeguard you.'_

The Colonel bobbed his head a bit before he answered. "That would be nice." The Colonel finished up his stretches and was getting up off the floor. Lt. Col. Lorne extended a hand. "Anything else I should know?" The Colonel asked taking the offered hand of assistance.

"Only that F-302's give off an EM pulse when they explode, so I doubt that you will be allowed to fly in combat situations. As for the few ARG's that we have, they have been relocated to the north armory. I thought that would be best since it is furthest from the city. I think that about covers it Sir. I'll send you a copy of all the new protocols ASAP." Lorne finished saying.

"That would be great." John gave a nod to Evan, and then looked to Carl to ask his question. "Carl, can I get an hour off tomorrow morning to address my men? They need to know why their guarding hallways from their commanding officer and I figure I'm the best person to explain."

"I don't see why not Colonel."

John nodded his thanks and turned back to Evan. "Colonel, see to it that the military contingent is on the east pier at zero nine hundred tomorrow. But leave the stargate and stargate operations covered. I'll address the military contingent in the morning and talk to Dr. Weir about how best to address the civilians. I guess it's time to let everyone know. Although I bet the rumor mill in Atlantis has already flourished with suspected theories and presumptions."

"Yes Sir." Lorne turned to leave but as he reached the door he turned back. "Sir, it's good to see you walking."

"Thanks." The Colonel followed up with a mock left-handed salute.

Even though the Colonel was late, they still had the practice gym for another two hours and Carl put those two hours to good use. The Colonel managed to do sixty knee curls at twenty pounds resistance. Then they moved onto the knee raises after a short rest break.

The Colonel got into position toes slightly above the metal plate and began doing his leg extensions at twenty pounds resistance while Carl kept count. When the Colonel got to ninety he had to stop. He had run out of stream back on seventy-three but stubbornness and determination had fueled his drive to continue. His personal goal was to make it to one hundred this time, but there was no way his shaking legs could do ten more let alone one more leg extension.

John sighed at relief putting his feet back on solid ground, his t-shirt wet through and through, his spiky hair lying almost flat from the sweat. Exhaustion was his companion of late so he rested for a few more minutes before trying to stand. Carl, of course, was nearby if needed.

"You're doing very well Colonel. I thought you would stop at seventy-five." Carl mentioned handing him a towel to wipe away the sweat.

"No…my aim was higher. I'll get there this afternoon. Right now I just need a couple hours of rest and some food and I'll do better in our second session, promise." The Colonel replied leaning back and closing his eyes for a moment.

"You're pushing yourself to hard Colonel. You're progress is excellent, above normal parameters. There's no need to punish yourself in this way." Carl implied.

"Yes there is." John stated flatly. He had no intentions of elaborating on his succinct response.

--

Czech phrase translations:

soustředit se na is 'concentrate on'

Soustředit is 'concentrate'

Rozhodně! Ohromující is 'Absolutely overwhelming' or 'Absolutely amazing'

Jakživ ke přerušení!" is 'Always with interruption!'

TBC

9/14

20


	10. Chapter 10

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** I am NOT in the medical, military or science professions so what you read is just 'winging it'. Hope it sounds plausible. Also in my stories there will always be Dr. Weir and Dr. Beckett.

This is the fourth story I've written dealing with Colonel Sheppard's disability. Preceding order: Three for the Price of Two, Conquering Adversities, Unexpected Surprises.

The story was beta read and any remaining errors are my own. Enjoy.

Life Altering

By Kwillads

Chapter 10

John rolled over and looked at the clock on his nightstand, it read 13:27 hours. He rolled off the bed and strode into his bathroom. There was no time for a shower; he needed to be in the practice room by 14:00 hours. So he splashed cold water on his face, changed his smelly t-shirt and would head directly for the mess hall to grab a lite lunch before his afternoon session with Carl.

As John pulled the clean dry t-shirt over his head he walked out into the common living space pulling down the bottom of the shirt. Carl was sitting at the small dinning table eating lunch with Carson and Elizabeth. A fourth tray of food sat waiting.

"Hey guys. This is a surprise."

"Aye Colonel it is a surprise, a mighty fine surprise indeed." Carson gave him a bright smile; his blue eyes gleamed with praise for the Colonel.

"Thanks Carson. I came to tell you after breakfast but the lab tech said you'd left for the mainland. I hope everyone there is going to be ok. And Teyla?" John stated with concern.

"Teyla's fine. Looks like a couple of the wee beasties found a poisonous plant and ended up with a pretty bad rash. It spread to a few more Athosian children but nothing that can't be cured with TLC. Their parents are caring for them; not much I could do except relieve their itching some. Now why don't you sit down and eat. You look thinner every time I see you." Carson exclaimed.

"I am not, you can ask Carl." John said in defense as he took the open seat in front of the untouched luncheon tray.

"He's telling you the truth Dr. Beckett he has not lost an ounce." Confirmed Carl. At least once a week Carl had the Colonel step on the scale that was located in the military training gym down the hall from the practice gym where they worked out.

Carson was pleased to hear the news. John had always been on the skinnier side of thin. After he had his accident, John had put on fifteen pounds and managed to keep them on. Most of it was muscle, and he looked healthier for having the extra weight.

"Oh…Elizabeth, before I forget, I'm addressing the military contingent at 09:00 hours tomorrow out on the east pier. I think it's about time I share with them what's been going on and why some of them have been stationed to guard hallways too keep me from passing down them." John said between bites.

"I think that is a wonderful idea John." Elizabeth replied.

"I'd also like to tell the civilians. When do you think might be a good time?" John asked.

"You say your meeting with the military is at nine?" Elizabeth repeated and John nodded in affirmation. "Okay, why don't I arrange for the sci…civilians to be there also. You can tell them all at once." She suggested. "Wait! You could just use the city-wide…" She started to say but John cut her thought short.

"No Elizabeth, this is something I have to do in person. If you could arrange for the civilians to be on the pier at 09:00 that would be great, however, I told Lorne to leave the gate sentry's. I don't want to be caught unaware again." John advised remembering Kolya and his band of men that had come through the gate during the big storm.

"Okay John, nine o'clock on the east pier." Elizabeth agreed and took a sip of her tea.

"Carl, are we still having a session this afternoon?" John queried having noticed it was well after one thirty and would probably be after two before they reached the gym.

"Are you feeling up to it?" Carl asked.

"Yeah. Just needed a power nap to recharge my battery. I'm good to go." John replied.

After finishing lunch John and Carl headed to the practice gym for another workout. John still had not made his goal of one hundred leg extensions. He had come close again with ninety-three but he really wanted to make one hundred. After another short rest back in his quarters and dinner with his friends he managed to talk Carl into an evening session. It took some doing but Carl finally gave in. Carl argued that if he kept up this pace he would cause more damage than good. But in the end John won his first argument and they worked out for another two hours.

oOo

John walked out the east pier doorway towards the mass of people standing on the pier. The sun was shining warmly, a slight breeze brought a cool mist off the turquoise ocean that kept the warm temperature tolerable. He'd lost count of the number of civilian and military personnel that had come to work and call Atlantis their home. As losses mounted up, replacements came. It was a vicious never-ending cycle of human life. White lab coats mingled with camouflage covered Marines. Rose Highland and her mess staff were front and center with some of the Air Force pilots. Jackets with green inserts from the Earth Science division mingled with jackets bearing yellow inserts denoting the Medical branch personnel. All eyes were on him now that he had walked through the door. It appeared that everyone had turned out to hear what the Chief Military Officer had to say. It was overwhelming.

He saw a raised platform with stairs he knew Col. Lorne probably built late last night just for this occasion. The man liked to build things, didn't matter what, he just liked to build. John was dressed in full military attire. His stomach was a bit queasy from nerves since he had always hated to be the center of attention. And with the platform four feet off the pier he definitely was going to be the center of attention today. He'd much rather be off in the background; he never sought glory for himself or recognition. Besides he was terrible at speaking in front of so many. Twenty or so Marines at a time were a different story. That he could handle, but…this was…this was ninety-nine percent of the established contingent on the base.

With a confident stride he walked to the platform and climbed the four steps. There was no microphone so he had to use his strong voice to carry to the back of the crowd that gathered before him. It was 09:05 hours and he began.

"Good Morning." John said loudly getting everyone's attention. "For those that are new here to Atlantis and have not had the pleasure of meeting me, I am Colonel John Sheppard, Military Commander of Atlantis base. Normally I give an orientation to all newcomers, but circumstances, these past few months, have prevented me from doing so." He paused to organize his next thoughts.

"The reason why we are all here this morning is because I wanted to explain a few things about what has been going on, disprove any rumors you may have heard about me and set the record straight. Most of you know this, but for those that are new to Atlantis, I want to recap a little. Two and a half years ago, while on a mission, I broke my back. In the process of that mission, we procured three fully charged ZPM's for the defense and security of this city and planet. For two years I have been paralyzed from the waist down. That is until five months ago." John took a calming breath before he continued. There were hushed murmurs throughout his gathered audience.

"The research this expedition is doing outweighs anything in two galaxies. The scientific breakthroughs are phenomenal. It was this research that has now allowed me the opportunity to walk again. A second chance if you will. Under the extreme watchful eye of Dr. Carl Epson I have been in rehab for the past five plus months learning to walk all over again. It has been a slow and painful experience, one I will not take for granted. I am happy to inform you that I have just a few more weeks to go before I will resume full command of this base. My main focus right now is on walking although I am fully informed of everything that goes on here in Atlantis and on off world missions. Speaking for the military I know that Lt. Col. Lorne has done an excellent job in my absence." John looked through the crowd in front of him trying to search out Evan but could not find him, but not for lack of trying.

"Some of you may have noticed the Station Guards posted around the city as well as warning signs and chained off corridors. For those of you whose duty it is to stand guard in the interior hallways with orders to keep me from passing, I am here today to explain your orders. I know you were not given any explanation as to the craziness of that order. Lt. Col. Lorne didn't feel it necessary to go into details. I am a very private person. You've all been trained to follow orders unquestioned. However, I feel differently about certain orders and want to explain why. I believe at times you have a right to know why you are asked to do specific tasks or perform a specific job or move your lab. I'd like to think keeping everyone informed makes for a better leader." John said.

"The research that enabled me to walk again is extremely sensitive to EM pulses, that is Electromagnetic pulses or waves as well as the Anti-Replicator weapon technology. Although it is needed to safeguard Atlantis, it can harm me. If I come in contact with even the slightest EM emission I will no longer have the ability to walk. There is no third chance for me. If the Replicator Block nanite that was surgically implanted in my spine five months ago becomes inert I lose the ability to walk." The large gathering began to whisper and talk to the person standing next to them. John realized that a few were scared at the news. "I assure you that the Replicator Block used was only designed to repair my spinal cord and to transmit my brain's signals to my legs. There is no danger of me becoming a Replicator. Believe me when I say that is what I feared the most when I was presented with this opportunity." John explained.

"That is why, for those Marines pulling Station Guard duty I wished to convey to you all why I cannot go down certain hallways or go to certain labs. That is why you will see signs posted and hallways chained off. It is for my benefit only. My life is in your hands, ladies and gentlemen, all of you, just as your lives have been placed in mine to keep safe. I will do whatever it takes, and beyond, to keep all of you, both military and civilian in this expedition, safe from harm. You have my word on that." John finished.

"Thank you for taking time away from your research and schedules to listen to me. I hope I have disproved a few rumors in the process. I'd like to stay and chat, but I have a physical therapy session to get too. In the words of the military…'you're dismissed'." John said as he turned to walk back down the stairs.

He waited by the base of the platform for the expedition members to file back into the city. Looking out over the mass of expedition members John figured there must be about a thousand people here now. While he waited he comm'd Carl to tell him he would have to change first and would be there as soon as he could. John then comm'd Col. Lorne to find out why he was absent from the address.

Evan explained his absence to the Colonel by saying that he, Lt. Ruiz, Major Jacobs, Sgt's. Buckland and Moore and Ronon had taken guard duty at the Stargate to allow the men to attend his address. Carson, Elizabeth and Rodney had taken care of the control room. Teyla had kept Carl company as he filled in at the infirmary for Carson since Carson's Ancient gene made him more valuable in the control room if anything should happen.

At the close of Col. Lorne's explanation, John could feel his heart welling up and beating faster. His men, his friends had stepped up in ways he had never dreamt of. He had a good group of people to take care of and they were sure taking care of him in return.

oOo

Carl was beginning to worry about the Colonel physically, mentally and emotionally. In the last couple of weeks the Colonel had been overly determined to stretch his body to the limit to accomplish his exercises both in the gym and with the PT he did in his quarters. He barely had time for his friends except for Ronon who ran ten miles with him every morning. But as for Rodney, Teyla, Elizabeth, and Carson, the Colonel only talked to them if it regarded Atlantis. John had stopped his participation with military matters altogether and left all decisions up to Lt. Col. Lorne more so in the last couple of weeks. The Colonel only wanted to be notified if there was a pending invasion or if Atlantis was sinking. Anything else he was sure his Second in Command could handle…at least for the next little while. His only focus was on his rehab. If he was going to meet his personally set deadline, he didn't have time to spare reading reports or making out shift schedules.

The Colonel had done this once or twice before since the surgery. Excluded himself from his friends after surgery when he thought the implant hadn't worked. Not taking his meals in the mess hall and now again he was sectioning himself away from his friends and his responsibilities to the military and Atlantis. Carl feared for the Colonel.

The Colonel had a fierce drive and all his concentration was on his physical therapy.

"Colonel enough." Carl said firmly though his words appeared to be falling on deaf ears. "Colonel that is enough. Stop!" Carl shouted this time walking over to put a hand on John's shoulder.

The Colonel stopped abruptly. He had started his morning exercise session with leg presses and managed to do seventy of those at now twenty-five pounds resistance before Carl called it quits and he moved over to the knee curl/extensions. John acted like he was on auto-pilot he would do ten knee curls then change the position of his toes to do ten more to work the outer muscles and finally move into the last position to work the inner muscles. He did this over and over every ten repetitions moving from one set of muscles to another automatically.

The Colonel had been at it for some time. He was working on his third set of knee curl/extensions at twenty-five pounds resistance. Besides all the sweat, Carl could see pain lines forming around his eyes and his breathing was becoming labored, thus leaving Carl no choice but to call a halt to his therapy session.

"Why'd you make me stop?" The Colonel labored out between breaths.

"If you continued, you were bound to cause yourself injury. And I am sure you do not want that to happen at this stage of your rehabilitation. You have a couple more weeks…"

The Colonel interrupted Carl before he could finish that statement. The Colonel didn't want to hear he still had weeks to go. He felt good now, strong even. In the last week and a half that he had been exercising on the weight machine his legs became strong; his body became strong. He didn't need to rest as often any more after his sessions like he had in the beginning.

"No I don't. I have three more days and that's it." The Colonel stated firmly and without reservation.

"What do you mean three days?" He had maybe three more weeks, not days, of physical training to do before Carl would allow the Colonel to prepare for his assessment testing in order to be certified as off world ready.

John sighed and hung his head down. "In three days it will be the end of six months. That was my goal; to be walking and fit for full duty by the end of six months. I know Carson said nine to twelve but that is too long. I'm ready now. No more weeks Carl, just three days."

"Colonel…"

"Three days Carl. Nothing more. So whatever tests you and Beckett feel you need to run on me or whatever hoops I have to jump through to prove that I am ready for full-active off world duty need to be done in the next two days." Colonel Sheppard said. "Look I've managed to work my way up to running ten miles with Ronon in the morning for a week now. I can do almost a hundred leg curls and leg presses at twenty-five pounds resistance. I can do one hundred sit-ups, push-ups and pull-ups now too. I eat right, haven't lost any weight, no leg cramps for over two months…I don't know what else I can say or do to prove to you that I'm fit for full duty."

"When were you going to tell me of this decision?" Carl asked painfully aware that the Colonel was not ready. Yes he was healthy and physically fit but that does not mean he is ready for full duty.

"Tonight after dinner."

"I see. I do agree that you are a physically fit person. When you started your rehabilitation you were in top shape, but that doesn't mean you're ready for full duty. I believe a few more weeks of therapy are still required." Carl said frankly knowing that the Colonel would deny it.

The Colonel pondered what Carl had said then offered his own thoughts. "Carl I really want to be signed off for full duty in three days. How about I make a deal with you…same one McKay made with me a few weeks back. I still have all six of those chocolate bars, never got around to deciding which one I wanted to eat since I liked them all. Anyway…deal is you set up whatever tests you have too, the same goes for Beckett. I'll do them and I'll pass them. When I pass you and Carson have to sign off on me."

"What if you don't pass?" Carl asked.

"That's not an option. I'm sure I can pass whatever tests you throw at me, but if I don't pass you get my stash of chocolate bars and as many more weeks as you need from me. No argument." The Colonel conceded.

"I'll talk to Dr. Beckett about the medical tests. I've already been working on your benchmarks to test you in a few weeks I'll finish those and we'll see about arranging for the necessary tests." Carl said.

"Thanks. That's all I'm asking. I know you have been looking out for me for two and a half years now. I know you have my best interests in mind, but this is something I really need to do. I need to prove to myself that I'm one hundred percent me again even if I have a few alien mechanical parts in my spine. I need to accomplish at least one goal that I set for myself. I wasn't able to walk to greet Col. Caldwell on his first visit, nor for his second visit. Although I walked, it was with the aid of crutches on his third. This goal…this one goal means a lot to me, I hope you can understand that." John explained the best he knew how to do.

Carl did understand. The Doctor side of him erred on caution and knew the Colonel was pushing too hard, too fast and another two or three weeks at the most would be required to complete his physical therapy. The friend side saw his daily struggle to meet his goals over the past six months and how disappointing it was when he couldn't attain them. Against his better judgment he conceded to the Colonel's offer. The Colonel said he would do whatever, whenever and without argument and the Colonel always kept his agreement. Carl figured he would give the Colonel his chance.

For the past six months John had done what he was told, when he was told, offering no opposition, just like an infant child, being cared for by parents. John wasn't a child; he was an adult who submitted willingly. He was a leader among men and women, a person who was respected and revered. It had to be torment knowing you'd given up control of your own life. Carl remembered the Colonel telling him he had been on his own since he was eighteen, relying on no one but himself to make it through life.

And now the Colonel was again offering the same deal, _'I'll do as you say, no argument'._ How that had to hurt to utter those words again. To even think of possible failure, was unthinkable. Carl had a feeling that if the Colonel did not succeed in passing this goal, although he would not give up on his physical therapy, because that was the type of man he was, a piece of the man who was John Sheppard would be lost forever.

Knowing that the Colonel had set himself a goal to be fit for full duty within six months time made it clear why he pushed himself so hard these last few weeks and especially these last few days and why he had pushed his friends aside as well.

oOo

The Colonel walked to the dining table to eat his lunch Carl had thoughtfully gathered for him while he rested after his morning exercise. "Colonel, I spoke to Dr. Beckett about the tests. He said he could start at eight am if you're ready."

"I'll be ready." The Colonel said without inflection.

"You'll need to fast from midnight on, no food, only water for the blood test. Basically he'll give you a complete physical with an added bone mineral density test or BMD. He thought the tests would take most of the morning." John didn't have a problem with what Carl informed him. He didn't eat much after 22:00 hours and he had had many physicals before. There was nothing to worry about. He was in the best shape of his life that he could ever remember for a forty something male.

It was Carl's tests, not Carson's that had him a bit worried. "That's fine. What about your tests? Do those in the afternoon then?" John inquired moving his food around on his plate suddenly not that hungry.

"If you like. It will most likely take two days." Carl explained. "Here is what I have set up for you as a benchmark." Carl turned his laptop screen around so the Colonel could view it.

As the Colonel read down the list of benchmarks he was pretty sure he could pass them. He had been doing most of this anyway, just not timed. The time limit added another level to the equation. As he read the list he mentally did calculations in his head as to how fast he would need to perform the various tasks. Sometimes he hated being a math prodigy.

10 Mile Run under 50 minutes.

100 Sit-ups under 4 minutes.

100 Push-ups under 4 minutes.

100 Pull-ups under 4 minutes.

8 Flights of Stairs under 5 minutes.

100 Vertical Leg Extensions/Knee Raises at 25 pounds resistance under 20 minutes.

100 Knee Curls/Extensions at 25 pounds resistance under 20 minutes.

"Carl, on the ten mile run do I have to run it alone or can Ronon run with me?" John needed to know as Ronon always brought out that 'edge' he needed to keep going at times. If he had to run the ten miles by himself it would be harder for him to focus.

"I don't see any reason why not. We can complete this segment of your testing in the morning at your usual time day after tomorrow. Tomorrow afternoon if you want we can start with the pull-ups, sit-ups and push-ups." Carl suggested. "I also need to measure flexibility and range of motion. We can do that tonight after dinner. You're scheduled for PT tonight anyway."

"That's fine with me. And Carl…thanks for doing this." John said.

"You're welcome Colonel."

John was lost in thought. He was playing in his food with no intention of finishing it. He was waiting for his afternoon session. He would measure how close he could come to meeting those benchmarks before the real deal started.

oOo

The Colonel walked into the infirmary wearing his sweatpants and black t-shirt at precisely 08:00.

"Good Morning, Colonel." Greeted the cheerful Scot.

"Morning, Carson." Stated a somber Colonel.

"I'll need you to go over there and get changed. I have a gown and scrub pants for you to put on. I just need to grab a few more items and I'll be right there to start."

The Colonel moved over to the exam bed behind the curtain Carson pointed to and took off his clothes and put on the gown and scrub pants. He sat down on the edge of the bed waiting for Carson to come to issue his next request.

"Okay Colonel, lets take blood first then I'll have Nellie bring you some breakfast like last time. You can work on that while we do the other tests." Carson moved to raise the head of the bed so the Colonel could lie back. "There we go, just lie back now and let me at that arm."

John complied, twisting around and bringing his legs up to rest on the covered exam bed. He put his head into the pillow and extended his right arm for the Doctor to take his blood. He watched in awe as four vials of blood were taken, carefully labeled and laid on the silver metal tray that sat on the nearby roll-away table.

Carson put a band-aid on the small puncture wound. "Nellie is not back yet with your breakfast so lets get your weight since we have a bit of time."

John slid off the bed and walked to the scale near Carson's office door and stood on the platform allowing Carson to glide the fifty pound increment slide to the one-fifty spot then he moved the single pound slide until the weight arrow balanced and pointed to the middle.

"One seventy-three. Excellent Colonel." Beckett beamed at seeing the Colonel's weight. "Ah, here comes Nellie. Alright, back to the exam area, you can start eating your breakfast while Nellie takes your vitals."

John followed his instructions and went back to the exam bed to sit down. Nellie had put the breakfast tray down on the roll-away table. She moved the head of the bed up to almost a ninety degree angle so he could eat. Nellie slid the table across his lap and moved to the left side of the bed.

It was a simple breakfast of juice, muffin, eggs and milk. What he would normally have picked out for himself if he had been in the mess hall. But for some reason it just didn't look all that appetizing or maybe it was just that he had lost his appetite. His afternoon session yesterday hadn't gone as well as he hoped. The timed element Carl imposed on his benchmarks was really bothering him. He had done one hundred knee curls but not in the twenty minute time allotment. The same could be said for the leg extensions. He knew the math but it was the execution of the math where he faulted.

John secretly timed his PT last night as well to see if he could manage one hundred sit-ups, pull-ups and push-ups in the four minute time frame. The sit-ups and push-ups were the easiest. The pull-ups had him a bit concerned. As for his flexibility and range of motion there was no problem there. John touched his toes and placed his hands palm down flat on the mat to show he had no back issues from his surgery. Carl had him on the mat doing warm ups and as he stretched to the right and to the left. No problem there either. All in all he was pretty flexible for a guy. Carl was pleased with his range of motion.

He was in the best shape of his life and he was letting this one goal reach down inside him and twist. Maybe Carl was right about needing more time. Maybe he wasn't ready.

Nellie took John's blood pressure, 116/77. His respirations were 21, pulse was 56 and temperature was 98.7. Nellie jotted her findings down on the Colonel's exam chart.

Carson brought out his nasty pen light and started shinning it across the Colonel's eyes checking for reaction. _'Both equal and responsive'_, Carson thought to himself. Carson warmed the bell of his stethoscope against his white lab jacket and listened to the Colonel's heart. He interrupted breakfast for a few minutes while the Colonel breathed in and out on command so Carson could listen to his lungs.

"I want a new EKG strip to compare with the one from your surgery and your three month check up. Also a new EEG to compare with your previous brain wave pattern. Nellie luv, will you put the leads on the Colonel's chest we'll start with the EKG. I need to run to my office for a minute. Be right back Colonel." Carson gave a pat on his shoulder and left. Nellie put the leads in place and while he waited for Carson to come back he ate a little more of his breakfast.

oOo

Carson reached his office and closed the door after him. Tapping his comm, "Beckett to Epson."

"_Epson here."_

"Carl lad, has something happened to Colonel Sheppard? He's very despondent this morning. Hardly said two words, hasn't complained once. Not even a snarky comeback when I took four vials of blood. He always asks me to leave him some. I'm worried about him." Carson rattled off with precision to the Swiss doctor.

"_He was like that yesterday afternoon and evening after his PT session, come to think about it. I believe the pressure of passing our tests, well mine more so than yours, since the Colonel is in excellent health, has somehow put him in a bout of depression. He has a lot riding on these tests. I wanted to postpone for a few more weeks, but the Colonel has set himself a goal. His first few goals were not met and he really wants this one bad I'm afraid. I wouldn't worry too much about his behavior. If it doesn't change after this afternoon, I'll have a talk with him."_ Carl explained.

"If you say so lad, I'd better get back before he becomes suspicious. Beckett out."

oOo

"Sorry that took so long lad, misplaced my Taylor hammer." Beckett offered. "Are ya done with breakfast?"

"Yeah, wasn't really hungry I guess. Thanks though." John replied quietly.

Beckett looked at the hardly touched breakfast tray but let is slide without saying anything more. "I see Nellie has you all hooked up, so just lay back and relax for the next few minutes or so."

John laid back as he was told, closed his eyes and listened to the light steady rhythm the EKG machine made of his beating heart.

Carson patted the Colonel's shoulder to reawaken the tired looking soldier. John hadn't slept very well last night his mind kept calculating and recalculating the speed in which he needed to complete each task Carl had planned for him. In his practice sessions he was close. "Colonel…it's over. I'll get these off ya and will put on the leads for the EEG. Won't take but a few seconds. After the EEG will go to the Ancient scanner then we'll do the BMD scan if that's alright with you." Carson spoke calmly as he worked to remove the EKG leads and put on the EEG leads. His patient was not complaining one bit and the Scottish Doctor worried even more.

Blinking away his tiredness John focused on Carson litany of words. "Scans…what kind of scans?" He asked.

"We'll do a full body scan with the Ancient scanner. Then we are going to do a BMD scan of your lower spine and hip."

"Okay." John murmured remembering Carl had mentioned that to him yesterday.

"Now settle back and this won't take long. No sleeping. I need to capture active Beta 1 brain wave patterns on this test." Carson turned to the EEG monitor and turned it on watching as the Colonel's brain waves were recorded on the small strip of paper. After five minutes he stopped the EEG and removed the leads from the Colonel's temple and forehead. "Right, come with me then, we'll get these scans over with." Carson led the way to the Ancient scanner and John padded along after like a well trained puppy.

John lay down on the scanner bed and let the scanner pass over his body. When that was done, Jayson the lab tech brought in the x-ray machine for the BMD scan.

"For this test Colonel, once it begins, you'll need to lie perfectly still for several minutes. Don't as much as twitch. The x-ray we're taking is about one tenth the radiation dose of a normal chest x-ray. It's going to tell us the density of your bones." Carson explained to his patient.

The x-ray technician worked to line up the machine with John's lower spine and hip. When the technician was satisfied he ducked behind the protective glass of the portable machine. "Colonel, on the count of three don't move."

The Colonel nodded his understanding of the request.

"One, two, three…" As John heard 'three' he stilled. Beckett had said it would take several minutes. Normally John didn't have a problem with being still until someone told him he needed to be and now all he wanted to do was move. Get off the scanner bed and onto the next test. Lying still was not conducive to getting back on full duty. Lying still was a waste of time and energy. Lying still was…lying still. John started doing complex equations in his head to take his mind off of being still. He was on his third equation five string segments into solving his current equation when Jayson the technician stepped out from behind the protective glass screen announcing the test was over.

On his way back to his exam bed, John told the Doctor he needed to use the restroom and would be right there. Carson held him up, quickly grabbed a small plastic cup with a sealable lid and handed it to the Colonel. With a frown the Colonel accepted the small cup. He should have known. A couple of minutes later, John emerged from the restroom, with cup in hand three quarters the way full. He gladly handed it over to the gloved hands of the waiting lab nurse. He found Carson behind the curtain of his exam area setting up yet another test.

"There you are. You'll remember this test, it's the NCV, nerve conduction velocity test I did after your surgery. Although this time the test will go a lot quicker. You should feel little electrical shocks this time around and you should feel them at a much lower setting. Now I need you to take off the scrub bottoms for this test."

John lay down on the exam bed and Carson took the white sheet and covered up his patient's lower half. John managed to wrestle off the scrub bottoms from under the sheet and handed them to Carson. The bed had been lowered to a horizontal position, John laid back, rested his clasped hands on his abdomen while Carson attached the small electrodes to various parts of his lower anatomy.

"Are you ready Colonel?" Carson asked.

"Yeah Carson." He said staring at the ceiling with disinterest.

Carson turned the machine on and turned the dial from zero to point five. The Colonel flinched at the sensation. It wasn't painful at all, just that tiny bit of electrical shock. Carson turned the machine off after recording five minutes of total data and removed the small leads from their last position. While the Colonel lay supine he got out his Taylor hammer and tapped the ankle and knee bones for reflexes. Happy with the responses there was just one more thing to do.

"Only one last thing to check and we're done. I need to check your surgical incision, so just roll over onto your side and I'll give it a once over."

John turned onto his left side essentially putting his back towards Carson. Carson pulled down the sheet to reveal the small incision. It had healed nicely with very little scarring.

"Okay Colonel, we're done. I should have all your test results back and compiled by morning. Would it be okay with you if I came to your quarters after breakfast and we can go over them?"

"That would be fine Doc, 09:00 then." John informed.

Carson left and pulled the privacy curtain closed behind him. John got up and put his clothes back on and left the infirmary behind. The tests had taken all morning to complete as Carl had previously informed him it would. He had three more tests this afternoon and he needed to force himself to eat something or he would not have the energy needed to be to pass them. He needed his body in top form which meant he needed to eat. He would just have to force his lunch down regardless of what his taste buds said.

John headed for the mess hall to grab some lunch, he wasn't in the mood for company so he loaded up a tray and set out for the nearest balcony to eat. As the door closed behind him, John took a deep cleansing breath to clear his mind. He slid down the wall resting his lunch tray on his lap and began picking at his chosen meal. He stared out across Atlantis at all her beauty his eyes falling on the cool blue tranquil ocean beyond.

oOo

"_Epson to Colonel Sheppard."_ Carl said into his comm for the third time in as many minutes. Concern echoed in his tone.

John didn't know how long he had been asleep or for that matter how long he'd been sitting out here on the balcony. He remembered leaving the infirmary around 11:45 after being poked, prodded, scanned and shocked by the Scotland doctor's tests, just to see if he was fit for duty in two days which he already knew he was. John knew he was in better, actually the best health he'd been in for years. By the looks of his lunch tray it had been awhile, the casserole had congealed on his plate, and the fruit he had taken a bite out of had now turned an ugly brown. His water bottle remained sealed.

His comm beeped again in his year. _"Epson to Colonel Sheppard, please respond!"_ The voice on the other end sounded upset and agitated.

John reached up and tapped his comm, "Sheppard here Doc, what's the problem?"

"_You were expected to report to your quarters forty minutes ago."_ Epson informed him. It was unlike the Colonel to be late, especially since it was the Colonel who had persuaded Carl to start the testing for active duty.

John looked at his watch. _'Crap it was 13:42.' _ He muttered to himself. He was to be ready for his PT testing at 13:00 hours.

"I'm on my way. Just need to drop off some dishes in the mess hall. Sheppard out." John slid the tray off his lap, stood, picked up the tray, wobbled a bit at the head rush then headed to the mess hall to drop off his uneaten lunch.

The Colonel, almost at a jog through the halls navigated his way from the mess hall to his quarters in record time. As the door to his suite opened he already was in the middle of apologizing to Carl for being late. "…lly sorry Carl. I lost track of time."

"That doesn't explain why you didn't answer your comm the first three times I tried to contact you. Are you alright, Colonel?" Carl scolded then with concern inquired about the man's state of well being.

"Sorry. Yes, I'm fine." He said swiftly. Not really wanting to go into how he fell asleep and had nothing substantial to eat since last night at dinner. The three or four bites of egg he had in the infirmary couldn't be considered eating.

"Do you feel up to starting? If you don't we could postp…"

"No! I'm fine I said. Let's get this over with." The Colonel snapped. He didn't want to postpone. He had to get this over with so Carl would sign him off as fit for duty.

"All right Colonel. As you wish. We'll begin with pull-ups then. I borrowed this timer from Miss Highland. She informed me it's accurate to the second since she has never lost a batch of muffins." Carl commented holding said timer so the Colonel could see it.

The Colonel moved into position in his doorway having no interest in the timer whatsoever. Some weeks back, when John started standing, Carl had had the engineering department come back and install a second set of hooks higher on the door. It was insightful of the Ancients to have nine foot doorways throughout the city. He just wondered why most of the beds were so short.

"Tell me when you're ready to begin Colonel and I'll start the timer." Carl announced.

John made a small hop up to grab the bar that was securely fastened across his bedroom doorway. His feet dangled below him approximately six or eight inches off the floor. His hands were spread apart at least six inches or more from his shoulders. Once he got a good over-handed grip he let his arms and shoulders fully extend down. He let himself take a couple more deep breaths before he said, "now".

Carl started the timer which he had preset for four minutes. The Colonel started his pull-ups immediately after uttering '_now_'. Carl was keeping count as the Colonel's chin rose above the bar and back down again.

Carl marveled at the pace the Colonel set for himself. Each pull-up was regulation, the Colonel did not cheat. His chin cleared the top of the bar and he lowered his body until his arms and shoulders were fully extended for each pull-up. The Colonel exhibited perfect form although at a rather fast pace.

Four minutes later the kitchen timer let out a sharp 'ding' and Carl called out, "time."

The Colonel released the bar. When his feet hit the mat he leaned over, hands on his knees, taking in deep breaths. Sweat rolled off his face. Without standing fully upright, he took the hem of his t-shirt in his hands and wiped his face dry. He resumed his bent over posture and continued to breathe.

"Carl…I forgot to ask…did you keep count?" The Colonel exhaled loudly.

"Yes Colonel, I kept count."

The Colonel was almost sure he did one hundred pull-ups. He tried to count internally but lost the battle way back at the beginning. Instead he concentrated on his form and the execution of the task before him. Internally willing his body to go faster.

"Well?"

Carl looked up from his data pad he was using to record results. "One hundred eleven."

John let out a breath he didn't remember holding until now. He stood up, arched his back, and shook out his arms to prepare for the next test coming up. He hoped Carl would say sit-ups. That would give his arms some more time to rest before doing one hundred push-ups.

"Colonel, out on the table I have some orange juice for you drink. You need to stay hydrated as well as keep your electrolytes in balance. There's water too, but I prefer you drink the orange juice." Carl concernedly took another look at the Colonel.

John cast a gaze out his bedroom door to the dining table. He hadn't even noticed the orange juice or water sitting there when he came in. Like Carl mentioned he had three glasses of orange juice and several bottles of water sitting there. John ambled over to the table picking up a glass of orange juice. He took a couple of swallows but soon found his empty stomach didn't like the acid all that well. Setting the half empty glass down he chose a bottle of water and downed the whole thing in five large swallows.

Walking back to his open doorway, "Carl are you ready for the next test?"

"Yes Colonel. Why don't you do sit-ups next. When you're ready let me know and I'll start the timer…and keep count." Carl added as an after thought. He had already pre-set the timer for four minutes. He was allowing at least ten minutes between tests so he was not in a hurry. Carl wanted the Colonel to breathe, relax and prepare for the next test on his own accord.

John lowered himself down onto the mat tucking the toes of his sneakers into the sewn in straps on the mat that he used when he was paralyzed. He got into proper position, knees at a ninety degree angle, his arms criss-crossed his chest, head and shoulders lying on the mat. John took a couple of deep breaths readying himself then stated, "now."

John started his sit-ups and Carl started the timer. Silently Carl counted as John moved at an alarming speed. Each sit-up was again perfectly executed, his shoulders lying on the mat each time. Every crunch he exhaled taking in a breath as he uncurled.

The timer 'dinged' and Carl called out "time" once more alerting the Colonel to stop. John lay with his arms out to his sides, eyes closed breathing deeply in through this nose and exhaling slowly out his mouth. His black t-shirt was soaked with perspiration now, his hair stuck to his forehead while tiny beads of sweat continually ran down his temples. His abs burned from the fast pace he had set for himself.

"After you rest for ten minutes and drink more orange juice and water we will start the push-ups. Before you ask…one hundred twenty-six." Carl stated flatly.

The Colonel lay on the mat a few minutes longer as the room had spun briefly before attempting to get back to his feet. Stepping into the living space he drank more water. After polishing off a second bottle of water he came back into his bedroom. When he reached the door he had to place his hand on the door frame to steady himself. A wave of dizziness washed over him. He closed his eyes to stop the room from spinning around him. The acid from the orange juice was burning the back of his throat as he swallowed frequently to keep the bile that wanted to rise at bay. He figured the dizziness was no doubt from not eating. It didn't take a genius to figure out having your body on a tight regulated schedule as he had been on for the past two and a half years that missing a meal or in his case two meals would have this affect. He said a silent prayer to whatever God might be listening that he be allowed to complete this last test.

He opened his eyes looking at Carl trying to determine if the Swiss Doctor saw him sway and steady himself. If the Doctor had witnessed it surely he would be at his side with his doctor bag but he wasn't saying anything or showing any signs of noticing. John got back down on the mat and waited for instructions from Carl.

Carl was immersed in his data entry and in fact had not noticed the Colonel coming back into the room. John sat waiting on the mat. Carl picked up the kitchen timer and set it for four minutes. "Okay Colonel, push-ups, get into position and when you are ready I'll start the timer."

John rolled over from his sitting position to lay chest down on the mat, scooting himself into the center. He placed his hands at shoulder level, palms flat on the floor and slightly more than shoulder-width apart. His feet were together, legs straight and his toes tucked under. His body was in a straight line from his shoulders to his ankles. Since his paralysis and Carl coming to Atlantis John had been taught how to do his fifty push-ups from the bent knee position like most women do. Looking forward he took a couple last minute breaths trying to settle his churning stomach before announcing he was ready to begin. "Now."

John pushed his body off the floor bringing his knees off the mat and holding them in place as his shoulders dipped back down toward the mat, his chest touching lightly before pushing back up and exhaling. John kept his body in perfect alignment as he completed each push-up.

Carl kept silent count at the number of repetitions the Colonel was doing glancing once or twice at the timer.

About half way through another wave of dizziness swept over John, his rhythm faltered for a moment but he continued. John blinked rapidly trying to stop the room from spinning. Instead of exhaling on his upward thrust, John was swallowing hard willing the queasiness to settle. The last thing he needed right now was to throw up.

John's pace slowed, Carl looked on in awe. This was not the Colonel's best display of push-ups. The timer had just over a minute and fifteen seconds to go. Carl kept up his count even though watching the Colonel struggle.

John's left arm gave way from under the stress of trying to hold off the nausea affected by the spinning room and John fell to the mat with a thud. Breathing heavy he rested his forehead on the mat and out of the corner of his eye spotted Carl coming towards him. Carl reached a hand forward to help. It was quickly slapped away. "Don't!…I can do this. Get back. I have to do this." He growled with a venomous bite to his words, his head pounding from the outburst and the headache that plagued him.

John managed to get back into form. Exhaling as he pushed up touching his chest to the mat as he came down. After several more repetitions John could no longer battle the dizziness and nausea and collapsed on the mat unconscious.

Carl watched the man in front of him collapse to the mat at the same time the timer sounded. Carl was still kneeling on the mat from his earlier attempt to help. "Colonel can I help you now?" Carl asked with sincerity and concern. Not getting a response Carl hesitantly reached out to take the Colonel's pulse not wanting to get slapped away or have his hand snapped off. Carl remembered what the Colonel was capable of from even in his sleep. He found the pulse weak.

The Doctor moved to the other side of John's prone body and discovered him to be unconscious. He rolled the Colonel onto his back, he quickly checked his airway before going to get his medical bag which was right outside the bedroom door. He took all of the Colonel's vitals; blood pressure, pulse, temperature and respirations when he returned.

Carl tapped his radio earpiece to summon the Chief Medical Officer. "Dr. Beckett this is Carl, please reply."

"_Beckett here, what can I do for you lad?"_ Asked the Scotsman.

"Can you please come to the Colonel's quarters? It's urgent."

"_On my way."_ Beckett exclaimed. Carson was in his office compiling what few test results he had received from the Colonel's earlier visit. Carson had a feeling something was not right so he grabbed his black bag and rushed out of his office door. Instead of using the door chime to announce himself Carson just walked into the suite.

Upon hearing the door whoosh open, Carl gave a shout from the bedroom directing the Doctor to him and his patient who still remained unconscious, but stable on the gym mat.

"Carl, what do we have here?" Beckett asked kneeling on the mat beside the unconscious Colonel and reaching for John's carotid artery to take his pulse.

Carl ran down the list of vitals and explained what had taken place in the last half hour. The Colonel was not in any immediate danger and a second round of vitals showed some improvement. The two Doctors managed to lift the Colonel to his bed and made him comfortable. There didn't seem to be anything they could do for him right now until he regained consciousness and could tell them what was wrong.

Dr. Beckett sat on the edge of the bed, Carl brought a chair in from the dining table and they both kept watch over their patient. Dr. Beckett was taking the Colonel's blood pressure for the fourth time when the Colonel began to stir.

John's head hurt. The pounding of his headache beat in time with his heart. His mostly empty stomach churned with what little he had ingested; the queasy feeling and nausea returned as well. John swallowed hard trying to keep the bile from rising up as an incessant hand kept tapping his cheek.

"Come on Colonel…open your eyes for me." Carson requested tapping lightly on the Colonel's cheek.

John thought he could hear someone calling his name, but all he wanted right now was to return to that deep, dark sleep that had held him moments ago. Yet the hand kept up its tapping. Becoming more aware, someone was definitely calling his name. His eyes fluttered with the prospect of opening. It was the only way to get the hand to stop slapping his face. He tried to reach up with his hand but found he had very little strength.

Finally, opening his eyes, he focused on the two blurred figures watching over him. As soon as they came into focus, he lost his battle with the nausea. He tried to get up but stronger hands kept him in place. "Sick..." He muttered.

Carson knew exactly what that meant. Without so much as a thought he told Carl to grab the trash can while he helped the Colonel lean over the edge of the bed. Carl barely got the trash can in place before John retched. Carson supported the Colonel through his vomiting and dry heaves.

There was little in John's stomach to bring up so after the first wave, the Colonel suffered through the dry heaves. When it was finally over, Carson laid the Colonel back against his pillows. Carl handed Dr. Beckett a cool cloth to wipe away the sweat and cool the heated skin. Carl moved the trash can to the outer room and away from Colonel Sheppard's bed.

"Colonel, tell me what happened." Beckett stated firmly. Wiping down the Colonel's flushed face and neck.

"Passed out." The Colonel mumbled.

"Colonel, a healthy man like yourself just doesn't pass out for no reason. There wasn't much in your stomach and I know you didn't eat much breakfast. Did you not eat any lunch?"

"Fell asleep."

"Colonel?" Carl gave a questionable look. "When I radioed you about being late, you were asleep?"

Nodding in affirmation, "…I took my tray of food out to the balcony but fell asleep. When you called there was no time. I didn't want you to be any more upset. I was already late." To his embarrassment John didn't make eye contact with either Doctor. Ashamed at what he had let happen. What happened was stupid. John knew better, his system had been regulated for two and a half years, now he had a better understanding of what McKay must go through when he didn't eat to keep his hypoglycemia in check.

"Alright, I think you'll live. I'll have someone bring you some food. You rest and when your food gets here I want you to eat it all. Is that understood?" Becket asked.

"Yes." The Colonel replied softly. Sleep was tugging at him again and this time the doctor allowed him to close his eyes.

Carson patted the Colonel's shoulder and he and Carl moved out into the living space to talk.

"Let him rest for now. I'll send up some food in an hour or so." Carson informed the other physician.

"I will. Did you notice how he wouldn't look at either of us? How his voice was so quiet. When he finally answered his comm he was forty minutes late, but I wasn't upset…I was more…concerned." Carl advised his fellow practitioner.

"Aye I did. He was like that this morning. That's why I called ya. It's not like the lad to be so low-keyed." Carson replied wondering what was bothering the Colonel.

Carson gave Carl a pat on the arm before leaving the suite knowing the Colonel was in good hands. Carl walked to the bedroom doorway and stood for a few minutes watching the sleeping Colonel and he too was wondering what could be the matter. He went to the closet and took out a blanket and spread it across the sleeping man.

Quietly he retrieved his laptop from the floor where he had dropped it when the Colonel collapsed. Sitting at the dining table he updated the figures from the last test. Amazingly enough the Colonel had managed to complete just one hundred push-ups. It was definitely not the Colonel's best showing of athleticism.

TBC

10/14

19


	11. Chapter 11

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** I am NOT in the medical, military or science professions so what you read is just 'winging it'. Hope it sounds plausible. Also in my stories there will always be Dr. Weir and Dr. Beckett.

This is the fourth story I've written dealing with Colonel Sheppard's disability. Preceding order: Three for the Price of Two, Conquering Adversities, Unexpected Surprises.

The story was beta read and any remaining errors are my own. Enjoy.

Life Altering

By Kwillads

Chapter 11

The door chimed. Carl answered the door and accepted the tray of food Dr. Beckett had sent one of his nurses, Colleen, to deliver. Setting the tray down on the table Carl went to wake the Colonel. Stepping into the darkened room he found the bed devoid of its occupant.

The bathroom door slid open. The Colonel steadied his weak frame against the wall for a few minutes before he took an unsteady step into the room; his knees almost buckling. While the Colonel slept Carl had put the gym mat and pull-up bar back in its storage area. At seeing the man clutching the doorway and waiver Carl came forward to put a firm shoulder under the Colonel's arm and assisted him into the living space. John sat down shakily at the table. It hadn't been that far of a walk, yet he was out of breath and weak.

"Once you eat you'll feel better, have more strength." Carl conveyed to him as he too took a seat at the table to watch over his charge.

John was hungry but he didn't think he had the energy to pick up his fork. After a few minutes John managed to take his first bite, the fork trembling from side to side in his shaking hand. The food had no taste. Bland against his taste buds. Carl watched his every move but said nothing, nothing at all the whole time. John set down the now empty bottle of water. He had managed to clean his plate, although it had taken him over an hour to do so.

Carl pushed out his chair opening his doctor bag on the table and reached inside. John knew what that meant, another BP check and more. He learned long ago not to fight it and even had made an agreement with Carl. Neither man spoke. Carl took his blood pressure, checked his pulse and respirations and finished with his temperature. The Colonel's vitals were all back within the normal range.

Hesitantly the Colonel asked, "so…what happens now?" The question carrying a discouraged tone. He really didn't want to know the answer, but asked the question anyway. He knew he had screwed up big time.

"Now you rest some more and I'll wake you when it's time for dinner." Carl declared.

The Colonel rose from his chair to find himself more stable on his own two legs. He walked back to his room to rest. The Colonel offered no protest, knowing he had sabotaged his one chance at meeting his goal. He was angry with himself for screwing up, there was no one else to blame. John could hear his father's voice echoing in his head again, _'You're a failure.'_ He had done this to himself and deserved the consequences. The deal he made with Carl was fresh in his mind as he laid down and succumbed to sleep.

oOo

John had sat quietly through dinner lost in his own thoughts and he was grateful that his friends allowed him this time. He wasn't all that hungry as he had just eaten less than two hours previously. He did his best as Carl kept a watchful eye on him all throughout dinner. Although John caught McKay tossing a few worried looks his way and looks of concern from his other friends as well, John had wanted to eat dinner in the solace of his own room. But Carl had insisted they eat dinner in the mess hall. John found it useless to argue with Carl and acquiesced. The Colonel declined Teyla's offer to spar, choosing to come back to his room and sulk.

John headed towards his bedroom. The last thing he wanted to do was talk. Carl allowed him to go for the moment while he gathered his laptop and timer for the Colonel's next test. Carl figured they could get the stair test done tonight and in the morning do the Colonel's ten mile run. That would leave the morning to do the knee curls and the afternoon for the knee raise/leg extensions which would finish out the criteria so John could be back to active duty status.

The Colonel walked back into the shared living space and found Carl setting down his laptop on the dinning table and powering it up. John laid down the six candy bars he had won from McKay and uttered "you win" in a defeated tone. He turned away as silently as he had approached and headed back to his room. The last thing he wanted right now was company. It had been hard enough on him to make it through dinner without erupting in anger at his own foolishness.

Carl looked at the candy bars with surprise. "Colonel wait!" Carl said a bit loud.

The Colonel stopped at the urgent plea but didn't turn around. His chin rested on his chest, shoulders slumped and he closed his eyes. _'Great…Carl wanted to talk.'_ John on the other hand wanted to be left alone.

"You passed the push-up requirements. One hundred exactly." Carl explained giving time for what he'd said to sink in before continuing. "Actually, I thought since you've eaten and rested you might feel up to doing the stair test tonight." Carl waited for a reply to his statement.

The Colonel stood unmoving as he let Carl's words soak in. _'I passed? How could I have passed? I 'passed out' for God sake's'_, he chastised himself. John lifted his head and turned slightly in Carl's direction, "what?"

"You passed your last test Colonel." Carl stated as a fact.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. You collapsed just as the timer ended. But, you completed one hundred, regulation push-ups in the four minute time limit. I'm very sure, Colonel."

John turned back to fully face Carl and closed the distance between them. Pulling out a chair at the table John sat down his mind reeling from the news that he had passed his last test. John found himself rubbing the back of his neck, relief washed over him. He still had a chance.

"Colonel, are you feeling all right?" Carl took a closer look at the Colonel sitting across from him. "You haven't been acting like yourself all day. Frankly, I'm a bit concerned. Even Dr. Beckett noticed that something has been bothering you. Do you wish to talk about it? I'm here to help."

"I'm fine. I…I was sure I didn't pass."

"Do you feel strong enough to do the stair test tonight? We could wait and work it in tomorrow." Carl offered.

"No. I need to do it now." John replied softly.

"Alright then, why don't you take a few minutes to stretch. I'll contact Colonel Lorne and let him know we will be using the stairs down the hall from here up to Level Ten and to make sure we are not disturbed." Carl explained.

John got up from the table and just nodded at Carl's statements. He went into his room laid out the gym mat and began stretching. John was just putting the mat away when he heard the suites door chime. Walking out to see who it could be he was met with Colonel Lorne who was holding his off world gear and a P-90.

Carl had made arrangements for the gear, but no one in the armory, not even Lorne would allow the Doctor to have possession of the lethal weapon or ammunition without having passed weapons training. Since Carl had arrived there had been no instances where he needed a weapon or to take the training class. His weapons of choice were his laptop, gym mat and exam bed. "Here you go Sir, and Good Luck. I've cordoned off the stairs from Level Five through Level Eleven with a man at each ingress point in the corridor on every level. Just notify me when you're done and I'll pull the detail." Lorne handed the gear and the weapon to his superior officer and left as quickly as he arrived.

"Carl what's with the gear and gun?" John asked.

"Your stair test will be in full off world gear, as well as your ten mile run in the morning." Carl informed him.

"I'll go change then and be right out." John put his tactical vest over the back of the dining chair, laid the P-90 on the table after checking to make sure the safety was on and set his field pack on the floor.

A few minutes later John emerged in full uniform his 9mil strapped to his thigh. He put on his loaded vest and clipped on his heavy pack and attached the P-90 to the front. The combined weight added about fifty or more pounds to his frame.

As the two exited the suite John took notice of the guards posted in the corridor. One near the transporter and one at the other end of the hall each with their backs to stairs. The pair walked to the stairs that were to the right of his quarters as Carl began explaining. "The stairs will be a total of eight flights, from Level Six to Level Ten. You need to take each step, preferably staying in the center. You cannot use the handrail to assist you. You will tap your comm when you are ready and I will start the timer. I will be waiting on Level Ten for you. You have five minutes to navigate the one hundred-twelve steps. Any questions?" Carl knew that the Colonel took these tests seriously and had no doubts in his mind that the Colonel would adhere to the guidelines he had laid out.

"No."

"Okay, I will inform you when I have reached Level Ten, then let me know when you are ready to start." Carl took to the stairs himself climbing to Level Ten.

John stretched a bit more while he waited. "Carl this is Sheppard."

"_Yes Colonel."_ Epson responded.

"Just curious, why the full gear?" John asked.

As Carl kept climbing he answered. _"When you're off world you have a full field pack and gear. These tests are to prove that you have the physical stamina and agility needed for off world missions. Many times you have spoken of how you or your team had to climb or run to safety."_

"Makes sense. Guess it has been a while." John replied.

"_I understand Colonel. It was a sound question to ask, and I am on Level Ten. When you are ready you may begin."_ Carl advised.

John stared at the first flight of stairs in front him, taking a couple fortifiable breaths he backed away a couple paces allowing time to inform Carl he was ready and for Carl to start the timer before he made contact with the first step. He ran through his instructions to take each step and not use the handrails. Raising his hand up, he tapped his radio and uttered, "now."

Carl heard the word 'now' and started the timer. The Colonel took each step. When he got to the first landing it took him two long strides before he started up the second flight. By the time he got to Level Nine his legs felt the burn, his calves strained with each new step he took. His lungs wanted more oxygen then what they were receiving but that did not stop him. Only two flights remained and he had not heard Carl yell 'time' yet.

Carl leaned over the stair railing to look down when he heard the approaching beat of boots on marble. He watched as the Colonel took each step, centered on each flight just as he had instructed. The timer in his hand still had nineteen seconds to go and the Colonel was on his last set of steps. The Colonel reached the tenth landing with seven seconds to spare.

John bent over, hands on his knees breathing hard. After a minute or two he stood to pace the hallway alleviating some of the tightness in his thighs, knees and calves. John reached for his canteen that was strapped to his vest, glad to know that it held water. He stopped his pacing and downed the whole thing.

"Excellent Colonel another test passed with seven seconds to spare. We'll take the transporter back. I've already contacted Col. Lorne and he's pulled the detail."

John looked down the hall and noticed the guard was gone. He and Carl walked down the hall to the transporter. Once in, Carl selected Level Six, then the door opened and the two men stepped out and walked to their room.

John shucked his pack placing it on the floor by his closet. After unclipping the P90 and laying it on his dresser top, safety engaged, his vest soon followed. The Colonel put his thigh holster and gun back in the nightstand drawer where he always kept them. He was hot and sweaty and a shower was his most immediate thought. He finished undressing and took a quick shower putting on sweats and a t-shirt for the rest of the evening.

He spent an hour or so out on the balcony, watching the sky turn from orange, to red, to purple. The clear sky now twinkled with stars. John stared up into the falling darkness thinking, contemplating and searching for answers to questions he didn't have. He reflected on the past few months; how he had worked so hard to get to where he was today; his lack of duty to the city and the people he was sworn to protect and how he had treated and pushed his friends away. He was sure he had passed all of Beckett's tests even though he _passed out_ a few hours later after leaving the infirmary. And so far he'd passed Carl's tests. What worried him were the knee curls and leg extensions. At his afternoon session yesterday his aim for one hundred in twenty minutes had fallen short, but not by much, and that bothered him. _'Failure: The condition or fact of not achieving the desired end.'_ When he was younger he memorized the definition of 'failure'. In the Sheppard household, according to his father, not achieving the desired end seemed to be John's lot in life. In his father's eyes he had failed numerous times. John didn't see them as failures. He saw them as unsuccessful attempts at doing the right thing, trying to make his father proud of him. He would not allow himself to fail. Maybe he needed another pep talk from McKay or a good kick in the ass from Ronon or Teyla. One thing for sure he needed to do was to apologize to his friends for his recent bad behaviour and actions.

Carl yelled good night from inside, which brought John out of his quandary. He returned the courtesy and followed suit.

"ARRRGGHHH!" John screamed and bolted right up in bed grasping for his left thigh. He had only been a sleep for a few hours when the cramp startled him out of his exhausted sleep. John rubbed at the cramp and tried to pull his toes up to stretch it out but it was shear agony. He had watched Carl work his cramps out in the past but his feeble attempt was currently not proving to work very well for him. It had been over two months since he had had his last cramp, _'why now?' he thought._ The pain had been forgotten of those earlier times when he had sat up screaming. And here he was again, taken by surprise. Well maybe not so much a surprise since he had felt something in his legs after the stair test.

Carl heard the scream and came running into the bedroom. "Let go Colonel, I'll take care of it." John released his hold and Carl started to rub and massage the tightly knotted-up muscle. John laid back, his eyes squeezed shut, and bit his lower lip to hold back another scream that was temporarily caught in his throat.

After working on it for fifteen minutes, "how does it feel now Colonel?" Carl inquired.

"Better." He gritted out. It was still painful, but not as bad.

Carl kept working on it. From past experience, he knew it would take another half hour to fully work the cramp out so the Colonel could rest. Carl thought about the ten mile run as he worked. As a doctor he knew it would be best to postpone the whole day's testing. Knowing the Colonel he would want to continue. _'I guess I'll see how he is in the morning.'_ Carl continued to work the muscle when he thought it was gone he turned to the Colonel for confirmation.

"Colonel…" Carl started to ask a question but found the Colonel was now sleeping. Carl stopped working on the irritated thigh, spread the blanket back over the Colonel and went back to his room. Grabbing his trusty laptop he took a few minutes to make the necessary notes to the Colonel's nursing chart before going back to bed himself.

oOo

Four forty-five am came early, at least it seemed early for Carl. He got out of bed and dressed, he wanted to talk to the Colonel about today's tests and check on his thigh. Running ten miles and doing machine exercises would only hinder the progress he had made thus far. And as the Colonel's rehabilitation physician he would not allow that to occur, no matter what the Colonel said or pleaded about his goal.

As he walked out of his bedroom, the Colonel was already in full gear. "Ready to go?"

"Colonel, how's your thigh? I should probably…"

"It's fine Carl. Honest. I got up at four and stretched for about forty minutes. I'm good to go." John interrupted the worried Doctor.

"If you're sure…" Carl paused. John nodded. "Because if you're holding back on me I want you to know you will regret it."

"I'm not holding back. I swear. My thigh is fine and well stretched. Scouts Honor." John replied holding up his right hand, thumb holding down his pinky while the middle three fingers stood straight and tall together.

"Okay then, let me grab my watch and my data pad. And I do have my doubts about you ever being a Boy Scout." He mocked, and then added, "is Specialist Dex going to run with you this morning?"

"Yep."

'_Good. I can get Ronon to watch the Colonel.'_ Carl thought and finally gathered up what he needed and the two men met Ronon on Sub-Level 3 in the east corridor. "Colonel you have fifty minutes to complete your ten mile run. Specialist Dex if you see that the Colonel is in pain in anyway, you are ordered to stop him and contact me immediately. I will not allow the Colonel to injure himself with all the progress he's made this past month to get this far. Do you both understand?"

Ronon looked at John and the two men answered "yes" in unison. Neither man wanting to incur the wrath of the Swiss doctor.

"Alright then, when you're ready Colonel let me know and I'll start the clock." Carl announced.

John gave Ronon a nod and he started, John allowed him five long Satedan strides head start before he told Carl "now" and started to run after him. Carl started the stop watch and watched the Colonel run down the hallway until he was out of sight. He then made himself as comfortable as he could for the next fifty minutes.

With full pack and gear John set his stride a little faster than he normally would have. He kept Ronon in sight. The burn in his muscles and lungs made him feel alive and exhilarated. John also kept in his mind the thought that he was covering Ronon's six on their way back to the Stargate with hostiles closing in on him fast. This scenario was his guide to keep up the faster pace. He had several missions from his past to draw on if it came to needing more incentive. Crossing the cat-walk meant they were half way through. In a matter of speaking it was all down hill from here. The course he and Ronon took every morning led them down the east hall on sub-level 3, out to the east dock which the hallway on sub-level 3 skirted the outside edge before heading back towards the city. Once back in the city the hall continued to the southeast pier where they had to cross over the cat-walk before heading to the west pier which took them down to sub-level 4 in a three percent down grade and eventually the course connected with the east hallway on sub-level 3 again before heading back to the transporter. All in all his ten mile run had twists, turns, peaks and valleys. The only thing missing was the angry natives that always seemed to point arrows at them.

He caught Ronon glancing back periodically at him. Most likely following the doctor's warning looking for any signs of pain, stress or weakness. He was well past the halfway point when his left thigh started to twinge, John could tell the cramp from last night was attempting to make another appearance. Each time his left boot made solid contact and pounded the hard floor a wave of pain enveloped him. He kept his pace, but reached for his canteen that he had refilled this morning and drank as much as he could hoping that the hydration would help stop his thigh from cramping before he could cross the finish line.

John could see Carl and knew it was almost over. He wanted to slow down but instead picked up his pace. He could collapse after he got across the invisible finish line. He put on his best game face as he neared. Ronon had already made it back which was not unusual, even on their daily runs Ronon was always the victor.

As John ran past Carl, Carl looked at his watch and noted the time: 47 minutes 54 seconds had lapsed. He turned to the Colonel to see him limping and caught a grimace of pain on the Colonel's face. "Colonel what's wrong?"

"Cramp coming back. I'll walk it out." John answered moving in a small circle in the hallway.

"Ronon, will you help me get the Colonel back to his room? I don't want him to put any strain or undue pressure on that leg." Carl asked.

"Really Carl, it's okay." John tried to down play his pain.

"I insist Colonel. Ronon let's get the pack off. Can you carry that or should we leave it here and advise Col. Lorne to pick it up?"

"I'll carry it." Ronon responded.

Between Carl and Ronon the Colonel's pack came off and Ronon slung it over his right shoulder to carry. The two men carried John between them and helped him into the transporter. John was told to keep his weight off the injured limb. It was a good thing the transporter opened just down from his room and there wasn't far to go.

Setting the Colonel down on his bed, Ronon put the pack down. "He going to be alright?" Ronon asked Carl.

Carl was untying John's boots, "yes he will be fine, I just have to work on that muscle some more. It's been a problem for several months now. Colonel take your vest off and I'll lay it on your dresser. Then I'll help you take off your BDU's so I can work on that cramp." Carl took the weapon and laid it on the dresser and laid the vest on top of it. John did as he was instructed.

"Okay…see you for breakfast then?" Ronon asked.

"Sure. And Ronon…thanks." John said before the big man got too far.

Ronon gave a nod and left.

Carl disappeared for a minute and came back with a glass of clear liquid. John had just finished wiggling his pants down over his hips. After handing the Colonel the clear liquid with orders to 'drink', Carl removed the pants the rest of the way. The Colonel had already put his gun and holster back in the drawer of the nightstand.

"God I hate that stuff!" The Colonel exclaimed after empting the glass. The clear liquid was the electrolyte concoction that the lab had created and boy was it ever nasty. He'd have to see if Carson could make it taste better. Since he was the guinea pig, the least he could do is try to make it better for anyone else who needed it. Or maybe he should include sports drinks as a required necessity for his troops on his next requisition and have the Daedalus bring them a supply on each run. That would probably be easier.

Carl ignored the Colonel and helped him get comfortable on the bed so he could work on the cramp. If he couldn't work it out, there was no way he would allow the Colonel to continue with the remaining two tests.

"Hey Carl…did I make it?"

"Yes Colonel, with two minutes six seconds to spare."

"Two minutes?" Carl nodded his answer and kept working on the muscle. "Carson's coming here at 09:00 to tell me the test results from yesterday." John added propping himself up on his elbows to watch Carl work.

"I know Colonel, he told me. Now please lie back and try to relax. If I can't work this cramp out and get your electrolytes back in order there is no way you're doing the last two tests today." Carl emphasized.

John got ready to argue the point when Carl rubbed a sore spot and sent the Colonel screaming into his pillow. After he composed himself he shouted, "you did that on purpose!"

"I'm only trying to help you." Carl said innocently.

"If you want to help me, then you'll let me do those last two tests today. You know I want to be signed off for active duty by tomorrow."

"Colonel tomorrow is another twenty-four hour day." Carl deadpanned hoping the Colonel would get his meaning. Thinking rest and hydration today would still allow for the tests to be administered tomorrow.

The outer door opened and, Mary, the nurse that works the night shift, entered holding a small silver tray covered in a cloth. Mary went directly to the Colonel's bedroom and entered with a smile and a warm greeting.

"Colonel, Mary is going to take a blood sample to determine what course of action we need to take to get your electrolytes back in balance. Once we have the results, I'll have a better understanding of how we should proceed. I am not going to allow…"

John interrupted Carl. "I got it…you won't allow the tests." John laid back against the pillow and letting out a defeated sigh, he wondered when Carl had found the time to contact the infirmary. John was Special Ops trained. Trained to notice minute details. Trained to hear the most whispered sound and yet he hadn't noticed Carl on his comm talking to the infirmary. John was finding that Carl had many talents to go along with his many degrees, seeing as how he had not even heard Carl making the request.

Mary moved into place and made quick work of taking the blood sample. Just one vial this time John noted. "Thank you Colonel." She said with a smile then turned to Carl, "I'll take this to the lab myself before my shift ends. Dr. Beckett should have the results before his nine am appointment with the Colonel." She informed him.

"Thanks Mary." Carl escorted Mary to the door. When he came back he had a bottle of water in his hands. Passing it to the Colonel, the Colonel drained the small bottle in record time.

He was thirsty, and it seemed he always got that way when he had to drink that awful tasting concoction. Carl went back to working on the cramping thigh muscle and as always the Colonel eventually fell asleep during his ministrations.

It was just after eight am when the suite door chimed again. Carl opened the door to find Col. Lorne and his team holding breakfast trays. "Morning Doc. Ronon told us about the Colonel, so we thought we would save him the effort and we brought breakfast." Lorne stated. "I also need to check the weapon back in."

The four made their way to the dining table; Lorne carried two trays and so did Ronon. Rodney and Teyla each carried their own. "I'll get the Colonel." Carl announced as he walked into the Colonel's bedroom. Lorne and Ronon took a tray and sat on the couch using the coffee table to rest their trays on. Teyla and Rodney took a seat at the table. Teyla slapped Dr. McKay's hands for picking at his tray. She knew it was impolite to start eating before everyone was seated.

John and Carl emerged from the bedroom. Lorne stood up immediately when the Colonel entered the room. "Sit down Evan, enjoy your breakfast while it's hot and thanks for bringing breakfast for Carl and me." John said as he and Carl took a seat at the table. "Morning Teyla, Rodney."

Together they replied the same back and began eating their breakfast.

John had lost track over the past few weeks of the goings on of Atlantis because he'd been so wrapped up in rehab and had pushed everyone and everything else aside. Today the room was filled with conversation about the happenings around the city. John enjoyed catching up. It was the boost he needed after this mornings leg cramp.

oOo

"Hey Carson. Hope you have good news for me, cause I could sure use some right about now." John had retreated to his room after breakfast to shower. He was almost done with his daily ritual when he heard the door chime. Finishing quickly he came into the living space from his bedroom.

With breakfast over Lorne had taken the Colonel's off world gear and P-90 back to the armory while the rest of his friends went on with their day doing whatever it was that kept them busy. Teyla offered to take back the breakfast dishes and trays to the mess hall and with a little prodding from the Colonel, Rodney helped as well since he was going that way to get more coffee anyway.

John joined Carson and Carl who had already taken a seat at the dining table and were talking. "Aye, Colonel, good news. Your vitals were all on the mark. Your EKG and EEG normal, NCV was a .5, your BMD was a +1, your BMI was perfect at 23.5. Urine analysis, heart, lungs, body scan all normal. Blood work all came back normal. You're as fit as a fiddle and then some Colonel." Carson proclaimed happily.

"What about the blood work from this morning?" John inquired.

"I was just discussing that with Carl when you came in." Carson was a little too apprehensive for the Colonel's liking.

"How screwed up am I?"

"Colonel, Dr. Beckett and I looked over your blood work from this morning and we feel that if you rest…"

"No! Damn it." John hissed slamming a fist down on the table. Looking at the surprise look on the two Doctor's faces he tried to calm himself. He ran a hand through is damp unruly hair, took a deep breath and relaxed back into the chair. His mind working on what to say next to get the two Doctors to allow the final two tests. "I really need to do those last two tests. Please." John pleaded. He lacked anything better to convince them with. He looked between them trying to determine what they were thinking and where he stood.

"As I was saying, Dr. Beckett and I feel that if you rest and drink fluids we'll take another blood test this afternoon to see where you are. I'm not going to make any promises, your health comes first Colonel." Carl reminded him sternly.

"Fine." John mumbled as he got up from the chair knocking it over. He didn't even bother with picking it back up and walked back to his bedroom in defeat. He flopped down on his bed like a scolded teenager being told he couldn't go to the cool kid's party down the block. He buried his face in one of his pillows, eventually falling asleep.

oOo

"Hi Nellie, I'm here to give you some blood." John said to the pretty nurse as he walked into the infirmary.

"I know Colonel, I've been expecting you. Right this way." She guided him to one of the exam beds, patting the thin mattress in a gesture for him to sit down.

The Colonel complied.

John had slept about an hour when Carl brought him a glass of orange juice. He stayed in bed 'resting' and every hour Carl would bring him more to drink. Whether it be orange juice, water or that awful electrolyte concoction. Whatever he was handed he swallowed with minimal complaints.

He watched Nellie uncover the small tray, just like the one Mary had earlier that morning. Nellie tied the rubber tubing around his bicep, tapping his arm and looking for the best vein to get the sample. Deciding on her target, she swabbed the area with antiseptic, uncapped the needle and inserted it into the vein. Attaching the collection tube he heard a little snap as it locked into place and the tiny vial began filling.

"Thank you Colonel. I'll take this to the lab right away. Dr. Beckett will be in touch." Nellie advised him.

"I know. Thanks Nellie." He said strolling back out of the infirmary. He had at least an hour if not longer before Dr. Beckett would inform him of the results.

John headed back to his room taking the long way.

As John came to the hallway intersection where it branched off in five directions; one led to the transporter on this level and a balcony with a northern view, one towards the hydroponics labs, another to the mess hall, the one on his left led to the gate room and of course the one he stood in lead to the infirmary. John stood undecided which hallway to take. On one hand he should take the hallway to the transporter. Go back to his room, pull the gym mat out and begin stretching his legs in preparation. Figuring if the test came back in his favor, he would already be stretched and ready to take his final tests. That morning he had stretched for forty minutes and almost got through his ten mile run without incident.

On the other hand he had been in his room all morning and thought a change of scenery would be nice. The balcony offered a spectacular view of the northern part of the city. As he turned toward the balcony he caught a commotion of some sort coming from the hallway leading to the mess hall. He did an about face and sauntered down the hall towards the commotion. As he neared there was a crowd gathered around an unused space across the hall from the mess hall doors. Edging his way in the crowd to the front he found Sgt. Edwards, Lance Cpl. Fisher and Cpl. Kreiger along with Dr. Biro and Nurse Doris Farina uncrating supplies.

"Sergeant Edwards would you care to explain what is going on here?"

"Sir. Yes Sir. We're setting up a PX." Offered the Sergeant as if that explained everything.

"Care to elaborate?"

Sergeant Edwards stopped his unpacking and gave his full attention to his CO. Colonel Sheppard never required his military contingent to be formal. He didn't need people snapping to attention or saluting when he walked by. His only requirement was that they be cordial and respectful. "Sir, Col. Lorne detailed me, Fisher and Kreiger here to find a larger storage facility for all the crap that the Quartermasters send us." Realizing his slip Sgt. Edwards quickly apologized. "Sorry for my choice of words Sir." Receiving a nod from the Colonel he continued. "Anyway, as we were relocating the stores to the larger storage facility we had a few people stop us and take some of the stuff off our hands. It seems not everyone was aware of what surplus items we had on hand. After discussing the situation with Col. Lorne he authorized that we set up a PX. Which is what we are doing now Sir."

"Sergeant that was…seven—eight months ago. Why now? And why are Dr. Biro and Nurse Doris here?"

Edwards shuddered a bit before answering. "Red tape Sir. First we had to find a larger warehouse; which took a while. Then we had to move all the stuff. There was quite a lot as you are aware, took about three weeks to get it all moved. Once we came up with the Post Exchange idea we had to hammer out the logistics. Where the PX should be located, where or how to get the shelving, hours of operation, inventory, did we have enough staff on hand to assign someone permanently or should it be on a volunteer basis to name a few. Then we were notified that other departments throughout Atlantis had surplus stores…well you get the picture. It snowballed. Corporal Kreiger here used to work at a PX in Germany so he's been a wealth of information as well as helping us through this. So you see it was a lot of red tape."

Before the Colonel could respond Dr. Biro spoke up. "Colonel since we also had surplus goods. Doris and I volunteered to bring them down and unload. We also wanted to help set up. It's not fair to make your men do all the work. Don't you agree? This PX will be for everyone. Besides, tomorrow the Botanists will be here to do their share, then after them comes Mechanical Engineering and after that the Stellar Sciences and …"

"I understand now. Thank you Doctor."

Dr. Gebhardt pushed his way through the growing crowd and offered a small box out to the small team working.

"What cha got there doc?" Asked Colonel Sheppard.

"Oh…Colonel…I have tea. Awful tasting stuff. I would eat poison plant before I would drink this. I requisitioned Kusmi Kashmir Tchai and those idiots send me Lipton. Kashmir Tchai is a blend of teas and spices made from motherland Russia. This…Lipton I don't much like. I offer it to anyone who wishes to ruin their taste buds."

"Thanks Doc. We'll take it." Corporal Fisher said reaching for the small box.

"Hey I got some shampoo that I don't use. Can I bring it to you?" Someone in the crowd yelled out.

Another shout of, "I have a years worth of magazines. Would that be something you're interested in?"

Just then Cpl. Kreiger was uncrating six pair of size 13 snow boots to set on a shelf. Dr. Greene had been in the crowd and yelled "what size". Kreiger shouted back his reply and the Geographer said he'd take two pair.

The Colonel was inspired by the growing calls of unwanted items from the small crowd that had gathered. _Must be hard to pawn this stuff at poker nights_ John mused. He heard deodorant, soaps, books, playing cards, liquid paper white out, rulers, a boonie hat, CD's and a myriad of other items. He, himself had a box of stuff sitting in his closet that he didn't use. The going barter rate these days dealt strictly in chocolate or sweets.

"Can I have everyone's attention please?" Shouted Sheppard. "Thank you. It seems the idea of having a PX is something you all want. Let me suggest that if you have anything you want to contribute to the Atlantis PX bring it back next week. How about we give these guys…and women time to unpack and set up what they have so far. Once all donations have been received, displayed and cataloged we'll have a grand opening. How does that sound?"

Scanning the small gathering Sheppard noticed a lot of head bobs and 'yeses'. People were talking about what they had cluttering their quarters, offices and labs. He could only imagine what types of things might show up.

oOo

"When you're ready Colonel." Carl announced. Holding the muffin timer set at a twenty minute countdown.

The Colonel chose to do the vertical knee raise/leg extensions first. His back was firmly against the rest, toes slightly above the metal plate. "Now." He stated and began to push forward rather quickly exhaling as he pushed away from his body. Each extension perfect, legs almost straight and knees bent up, rather than out on their return towards his chest. Each thrust was against twenty-five pounds of resistance. He knew Carl was keeping count so he concentrated on his form.

"Time." Called Carl when the small kitchen timer dinged.

The Colonel relaxed taking deep breaths while Carl made his notations on the data pad. Carl eyed the Colonel speculative looking for signs that he might be injured. "How does your thigh feel Colonel?"

"Fine."

"Colonel?" Carl asked in that tone that say's 'I don't believe you'.

"Honestly Carl, my thigh is fine. My legs are fine. I'm fine." He assured the Doctor. "Did I make it?"

Carl looked him over, checking for any little nuances he had come to know so well since taking care of the Colonel for the past two plus years, but he didn't see any this time. "Yes Colonel you made it. One hundred and one knee raises."

John closed his eyes and smiled inwardly. One down and one more to go. He got up and moved to the knee curl station. He ran through the checklist of all the details, back straight, don't let hips rise, extend legs up straightening them and bring them back down not passing 90 degrees. He also ran through how to work the inner and outer quads as well. Point toes out for outer quads and curl toes back and in while leaning forward for the inner quad. He wasn't going to let inadequate form cause him to fail. Failure was not an option. He remembered back to the conversation he had had with Rodney out on the southern pier that day when he lost it not being able to take his first step in over two years. John wanted to fly more than anything and failure was not option then. Just like right now he wanted to be certified for full off world active duty and failure was not an option now.

"I'm ready if you are Carl." John said.

"Timer is set at twenty minutes. Whenever you're ready, begin."

'_Okay you can do this John. Just concentrate and tomorrow you'll be back on full-active off world duty. You'll have your team back. Now get started, you know you can do this.'_

"Now." John said beginning his knee curls. This time John didn't need anyone to keep count. After thirty-three reps he changed the position of his feet to work the outer quads. He counted off another thirty-three reps and worked the inner quads for thirty-four reps, then he went back to his original starting position and kept going until Carl called time which he did shortly after.

"You're amazing Colonel. I forgot to tell you at the beginning you didn't have to worry about changing positions but you did it so seamlessly and with very little effort." Carl stated.

Breathing hard John managed to say, "thanks." He rested his head back and smiled. He'd done it. He had passed all of Beckett's tests with flying colors and passed all of Carl's tests, not so much with flying colors, but he had passed them. His true ultimate goal achieved.

"Feel like celebrating?" Carl asked taking John away from his muse.

John sat up, removed his feet from between the cushioned pads, "yes I do. And I know exactly how to do it too." John reached up and tapped his radio. "Sheppard to Lorne."

"_Lorne here Sir."_

"Evan, gather your team and be in my quarters in forty-five minutes." John commanded.

"_Yes Sir. Forty-five minutes, your quarters. May I ask why?"_

"No. Just get your team there. Sheppard out." John tapped his comm a second time. "Sheppard to Dr. Weir."

"_Yes John, what can I do for you?"_ Elizabeth asked. She was pleased to hear his voice. It had been a while since they had last talked—most of their communication had been through e-mail.

"Can you meet in my quarters in forty-five minutes?" John asked.

"_Is there a problem?"_

"No problem Elizabeth. Just be there." John paused then added, "please."

"_Of course John. See you in forty-five minutes then."_ Elizabeth said.

"Forty-three now. Sheppard out. Okay one more person to invite. Sheppard to Beckett."

"_Beckett here, go ahead."_

"Carson, can you come to my quarters in forty minutes?"

"_Aye. Is there a problem?"_

"Why do you and Elizabeth always ask if there's a problem? No problem Carson, can you make it?" John asked.

"_I guess it's because you're such a magnet for trouble and you've conditioned us to expect it lad. I'll be there."_

"See ya there Doc. Sheppard out." John turned to Carl, "okay that's done. I need a shower. You ready to go?"

Carl gave the 'after you' gesture and the two men returned to the Colonel's quarters. John took a quick shower and dressed in jeans and a long sleeved blue shirt that hugged his well toned abs. John looked around the suite to make sure it was in order.

His guests arrived right on time and John ushered them in from the hallway.

"What's this all about Colonel? Busy man here." Rodney snapped.

"Sorry to take you away from your lab McKay. And hello to you too. If you don't want to be here, you can leave." John returned the snappy comment. "You'll just miss out. That's all."

Rodney opened his mouth to retort, but closed it. Something was up and he wanted to know what it was.

"Why are we here John?" Teyla asked politely.

"To Celebrate." John said smiling at his friends gathered around him in the living space.

"John?" Elizabeth said raising an eyebrow.

John nodded. "It's not official, Carl and Carson have some paperwork I'm sure to fill out, but you should have it by morning."

Elizabeth smiled in return.

"What are you talking about? What does Elizabeth, Carson and Carl know that I don't know?" Rodney asked.

"Plenty." Ronon stated with a smile, giving a nod to the Colonel.

"Good one Chewie." John snarked. Composing himself he looked at his friends. "I'm sorry that I left you out of the loop. I'm also sorry for the way I've behaved, the way I've treated and ignored you lately, actually quite ashamed." John looked at his friends staring back at him. "Oh God…I'm not good at this."

"We are your friends, your family. It is okay John, continue." Teyla offered and urged John to continue.

John nodded his appreciation at Teyla's words. She was right they had become his surrogate family… actually more family then his real family. "…anyway…six months ago tomorrow I had surgery. All because of one sarcastic Astrophysicist named McKay who wouldn't give up. Because of you, I'm walking again."

"What are geniuses's for anyway if not to help their friends." McKay answered bobbing on his heels and toes. He wasn't any good at this 'feeling' stuff anymore than Sheppard was, but deep down he was pleased to have the Colonel back walking again.

"Carson…you've saved my bacon more times then I can count. I know it's been slow in the infirmary these past couple of years and I'll try to keep it that way, but no guarantees. Without your skills none of this would have happened."

"Aye Colonel it has been rather slow. I've welcomed the respite. And you're welcome lad." Carson's blue eyes sparkled at the sentiment.

"Evan…you filled some pretty screwed up shoes, but you managed to do it. I can't speak for Elizabeth, but you make a great Commanding Officer and I know I put a lot on your shoulders with my absence. I wasn't really pulling my fair share of the duty. Specifically over these last few weeks. I'm sorry and will try to make it up to you somehow."

"It was my pleasure Sir to fill those shoes. You're a damn good CO…Sir." Evan said.

"Elizabeth…you've fought for me and stood by me from day one back in Antarctica, I just want to say thanks. You're the best damn boss in two galaxies."

"Thank you John." Elizabeth nodded.

"Teyla and Ronon you guys stepped up to the plate. You helped out and chipped in when needed. You were there for me when I needed you and when I didn't know what I needed. I couldn't have done this without your help, your patience and guidance. You inspire me to become better."

"I am glad I could help in some small way." Teyla said.

"Same goes for me Sheppard. You've been there for me." Ronon reminded him.

"Carl you're one hell of a physical therapist, uncompromising, but I needed you to be. You didn't take any of my crap. You're a damn good friend too. Your constant council helped me to keep sane and to keep going. You never let me give up." John had to pause a moment to get control back. He was getting choked up at all the sentiments. "There were times when I wanted to quit. I know I've said 'failure' in not an option but somehow I think you knew what I was going through deep down and I just wanted to say thank you for being there and keeping me going. I couldn't have done this without you."

"You're welcome Colonel." Carl replied.

"Carl, Carson, Elizabeth, Teyla, Ronon, Evan and especially you Rodney, you all helped me walk in some way or another. I couldn't have done this without any of you. I owe all of you so much. As I said before, the reason you are all here is to celebrate. Tomorrow I will be back on full-active off world duty…once Elizabeth signs off on the paperwork that is." John explained to them.

Their faces shined with a mixture of joy, surprise and of proud accomplishment. Congratulations rang out from the group.

"Wait…one more thing. Be right back." John darted into his room and upon his return laid six king-sized candy bars on the table for everyone to see. "As this is a celebration, what better way to celebrate than with chocolate?"

"Hey…those look like my candy bars." Rodney shouted.

"They _were_ your candy bars Rodney. I won them fair and square, remember?" John replied.

"There's still six. You didn't eat one? Carl said he wouldn't punish you." Rodney stated the fact.

"I couldn't decide." John shrugged his shoulders. "Okay, ladies first. Teyla, Elizabeth pick one."

Elizabeth and Teyla looked over their choices carefully. They gave each other a look before reaching their hands down to pick up their selection. Teyla reached for the Three Musketeer bar; she liked the fluffy inside, while Elizabeth set her aim on the plain Hershey chocolate bar; pure chocolate with nothing to get in the way of it melting slowly on her tongue. Both beamed with their selection.

"Okay who should go next? I say Evan and Carson. Okay guys make a choice." John instructed.

Evan stepped closer to the table and looked at the remaining four candy bars. Carson did the same and after a minute of indecision, Carson reached for the Hershey Almond bar and Evan reached for the Almond Joy. Seemed both men liked almonds in their milk chocolate.

The remaining two candy bars were the Snickers and the Reece's Peanut Butter Cup.

"Rodney and Ronon you get the last two." John told them.

Rodney gave Ronon a look and Ronon returned it. It was a simple choice to make for both of them. Rodney went straight for the Snickers with no hesitation. Ronon dived for the Reece's Peanut Butter Cup. Both men grinned with excitement.

"Wait…what about Carl?" Rodney asked realizing that Carl hadn't had a chance to pick one.

Before Carl could answer for himself, John replied. "It's okay McKay, Carl doesn't like American Chocolate. He's Swiss remember, and we had already discussed this before you all got here. He's cool with it."

"What about you John?" Teyla asked. "There is not one for you. As this is a celebration for you should you not have some chocolate?"

"I'm fine Teyla. Actually if you want to know the truth Carl pretty much has weaned me off chocolate. I think in the last two and a half years I've had two." John told her.

"Five!" The room full of friends erupted simultaneously.

TBC

11/14

For those tea lovers, please don't be upset with me. I personally don't like tea. Lipton just happened to be a brand my mother bought.


	12. Chapter 12

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** I am NOT in the medical, military or science professions so what you read is just 'winging it'. Hope it sounds plausible. Also in my stories there will always be Dr. Weir and Dr. Beckett.

This is the fourth story I've written dealing with Colonel Sheppard's disability. Preceding order: Three for the Price of Two, Conquering Adversities, Unexpected Surprises.

The story was beta read and any remaining errors are my own. Enjoy.

Life Altering

By Kwillads

Chapter 12

"Morning Elizabeth." John announced leaning against the office doorway holding their customary two cups of coffee at seven am sharp. He was dressed in his uniform waiting to be granted entry. Today was the day. Six months of hard work re-learning to walk and he was gate ready. Yes, Today was the day. Not that he was expecting to go through the gate today or even tomorrow in fact but at least he knew he could if he had too.

"Morning John, come in please." As he got closer Elizabeth had her arms out stretched and fingers ruffling in the air for one of the cups he held, "gimme, gimme. I was running late this morning and haven't had any yet."

"Gimme? Did I hear that correctly? The leader of an International Expedition to another Galaxy says 'gimme'? Just what language is that from?" John quipped, setting her cup down on his side of the desk just out of hands reach.

"You heard me correctly…now do I get my coffee or do I lose this file?" She said coyly lifting the edge of the file with her painted fingernail. If John wanted to play hardball, so could she.

"I don't know…guess it would depend on what file you have." John replied taking a sip of his coffee while looking over the top of the cup coyly.

"Well let's see…the name on here says Sheppard, John P Colonel USAF. Hey… that's you isn't it?"

"Yeah, is that my, ah…"

"Yes it is." She stated unwavering.

"Oh, well in that case, any leader of an International Expedition to another galaxy who wants to say 'gimme' can, I guess." John quickly passed her the cup of coffee he had previously kept out of her reach being very careful not to spill any on the file that lay in front of her. He would have hated to have his back-to-action report stained with coffee or worse yet ruined. The paper was just a formality for his existing file. The real documents were all electronically filed and signature stamped. It was the only way to send them to the SGC. Atlantis didn't use a whole lot of paper. In fact they only went through one ream a year. If that.

Elizabeth accepted the cup and took a long sip, savoring the aroma and taste. As she set the cup down on her desk she replied, "wise decision, Colonel."

John smirked. "Have you ah…" John pointed to the file his eyebrow raised in curiosity.

"Not yet." She replied smiling behind her cup at her Military Commander. She didn't want her Second in Command to know that she had signed off on the official e-papers two seconds after she booted up her laptop this morning. A good negotiator and leader needed to have a little leverage now and again, that being the reason she had not had any coffee yet. She was so excited about the news that she had hardly slept last night. When the alarm went off this morning all she could think about was getting to her laptop and signing off on John's re-instatement orders to full-active off world duty status.

"Oh." John fidgeted in his seat, sitting up a little straighter than the normal slouched position he was more comfortable in. However, the two plus years he'd spent in his wheelchair corrected much of his slouching problem; the wheelchair didn't allow for such pleasures. He still had a laid back air about him. "You are going to…um… aren't you? I would hate to think I got all dressed up for nothing."

Elizabeth just smiled and continued to sip her morning's coffee with pleasure.

oOo

Now as John stood in the doorway of his office he surveyed it with a grim smile on his face, his computer laptop in one hand and a cleaning rag and bucket in the other. It was an office he had not seen in six months, not since all this crazy madness started. Who would have ever thought he'd walk again except now that he did, he couldn't stop smiling inside and out – God it felt good. Staring at his office he pondered where to start cleaning. The poor neglected place had at least an inch of dust over everything and a rather pathetic dead plant in one corner. He would have to talk to Rodney about the air purification-filtration system of Atlantis if this is what happens when a room was not being used on a regular basis. John understood ten thousand years of non-use would certainly create dust but six months? He couldn't seem to recall there having been this much dust when they arrived in the sunken city years ago, or when he returned home after spending six months with ascension wannabes in the cloister. He still had a hard time wrapping his head around that one. Six months for him but only a couple of hours to his friends.

'_Good to be back to work',_ he thought as he started to clean up the dust-bunnies that had settled over all his office furniture; desk, chairs and accessories alike. The plant in the corner was dead, most likely from shock or caffeine deprivation since that was where John emptied his cup on many occasions. John finished dusting and had the plant removed. One of the Botany members, happening to pass his office door at the time, saw the dead plant in the doorway and offered to dispose of it with a promise of a replacement. Not that he really needed another plant to look after and water, but it was hard to say no. John moved his office chair back behind his desk from the corner where it had been pushed after his accident. He marveled at the sparkling clean desk he now found himself behind.

Now he could work. Col. Lorne had sent him a list of departments all wanting off world missions scheduled over the next few weeks. Evan even forwarded all requisitions for him to approve and sign-off on; including the one to add sports drinks to the official list of necessities that the Daedalus brought on each run.

Going through the latest e-mails he found several from Elizabeth advising of upcoming staff meetings. He even had a few non-Atlantis business e-mails welcoming him back.

John had just finished the last requisition when there was knock on his door. Looking up from his laptop he found Teyla and Ronon standing there. He invited his friends in and offered them a place to sit. "I thought you two were headed to the mainland this morning?"

Teyla and Ronon took a seat across from him in the two guest chairs he had in his office. "We were, but just as we were to depart, Halling radioed and advised it was no longer necessary. The dispute between my peoples had been resolved. So Ronon and I thought we should come see how you are doing, settling in on your first day back." Teyla explained.

"Great actually. It took me an hour or so to clean everything. But so far it's been a typical day at the office."

Another knock found Elizabeth standing at his door. He instinctively reached up to his ear to make sure he was wearing his comm, and had not missed her hail. He hadn't been in the habit of wearing it a lot as of late. Normally when Elizabeth needed him, he would go to her office. It was very unlike Elizabeth to be dropping by his small office.

"May I come in? I'm not interrupting, am I?" She asked.

"Of course not. I'm just surprised to see you here. Did I miss your comm?"

"No, I just thought I would see how you're settling in on your first day back." Elizabeth took a seat in front of his desk next to Teyla in the guest chair Ronon quickly vacated for her. Ronon moved to the other side of Teyla and stood by the wall.

"As I was telling Ronon and Teyla, I spent the first hour or so getting rid of the dust bunnies and a dead plant. Just finished reading and answering some e-mails and signed off on all the military requisitions. After lunch, mission planning is top priority on my list of things to do. Evan wasted no time in forwarding them to me. Thanks, by the way, for the list of upcoming meetings. You could have at least waited until tomorrow to send me those. You know how much I love meetings." He smiled. "I'd say so far my first morning back on official duty has been normal."

Another knock at his door brought their attention up.

"Hey. Katie asked me to bring this to you. She said one of her Botanists told her you needed a replacement. She said something about the one you had died of a caffeine overdose or lack of caffeine…or something like that. I wasn't really paying that much attention. Where do you want it?" Rodney related as he walked into the office holding a rather large potted floor plant. This one had a strong thick stock with large yellow and purple leaves about the size of dinner plates. In the center was a smaller shoot that had an orange blossom of sorts coming out.

John pointed to the corner of his office. By the time Rodney had put the plant down in the corner, Lt. Col. Lorne knocked on his door.

"Come on in Evan, gang's all here, what can I do for you this morning? I've already received all the requisitions and upcoming mission requests. Don't think I didn't catch what time they were all sent either." John waved a hand gesturing him to enter.

"Sorry to interrupt Sir."

"Oh you're not interrupting we were just chatting." McKay answered back before Sheppard could say anything to the contrary. He was standing next to the desk wiping his hands off on his pant legs.

John gave Rodney a 'mind your own business this is my office' look, but Rodney was totally oblivious to it. Casually Rodney sat down on the edge of the Colonel's desk since all the seats in the office were taken.

"Sir, I was wondering if I should get a detail together to remove the lifts and other equipment from your quarters."

"That's a good question John. Have you given any thought to whether you want to change quarters?" Asked Elizabeth. "You could move back into your old room and I'm sure we can find Carl suitable quarters of his own. We could leave the suite as it is in case any other expedition member would require the equipment and Carl's abilities."

"Not really." The words slipped out of John's mouth without really thinking.

"Oh puh...lease. Of course you have." Rodney sputtered. "Why just last night you…."

"Rodney." John growled glaring at Rodney. In the back of his throat John was counting to ten in Farsi. It was a harder language and took longer and right now he needed all the extra time he could get to keep his frustration with Rodney in check.

Ronon grunted under his breath changing his stance against the wall. Teyla raised her hand up to her face to cover the smile and giggle that wanted so badly to escape. Even Evan gave a smirk as he bounced on his feet. They had all been together at dinner last night when the topic was first presented.

"John?" Elizabeth asked looking between John and Rodney and Teyla and Ronon. Evan stood slightly behind Dr. Weir bouncing on his toes with a grin waiting for his CO to respond. Dr. Weir unable to see the grin on the Military's Second in Command.

"Okay…okay, so I have thought about it. I'd like to keep the suite. It will come in great for team movie nights." John let out exasperated. "And I don't think Carl has to move out either. I'm used to having him there. He's a pretty good room mate, better than any I had when I was in college, in boot camp…hell even after I became an officer and I shared a room with three other guys. Even stationed at McMurdo in Antarctica I had shared quarters with my frost-bite buddy. Coming here was the first time I had ever had my own room. But I like the suite and like I said Carl is a pretty good room mate."

"Can't wait till the Daedalus gets here to see the…" Rodney began saying.

John gave Rodney a slap on the arm. "I think you've said enough Rodney. Shouldn't you be getting to your lab? I'm sure there is at least one minion or two that needs your expertise. Or was there something else you needed besides dropping off the plant?" John cut him off and changed the subject.

"John, what about the Daedalus?" Elizabeth's curiosity was peaked by Rodney's cut off comment. John found himself counting to ten again only this time it was in Czech.

"You're doing that 'thing' again in the back of your throat. What are you doing?" Inquired McKay.

There were some days he could just strangle Rodney for opening that mouth of his. Not bothering to give Rodney's inquiry a second thought or a reply John purposely went back to the original question and answered Dr. Weir. "You'll find out soon enough I guess. I ordered a large screen TV and player. It should arrive on the Daedalus's next run. That way I won't have to take the one from the rec room." John stated and lowered his head to his waiting arms on his desk, waiting for his boss to yell at him. Things were so much better when the boss didn't know what was going on.

Elizabeth hadn't seen his old room in ages. She had no clue of the amount of non-regulation, non-mission equipment that was now being stored in there. There would be no way he could ever go back to that small of a room after having a suite for the past two and a half years. Even though Elizabeth had the final say on all requisitions she never once questioned any of the requests. Maybe it was because John made it all sound 'military'; two white boards for the Orientation Room. She didn't need to know that the white boards were actually snow boarding boards. John had become the master of bureaucratic subterfuge. His creative writing skills, since coming to Atlantis, had served him well on many requisitions over the years.

"Do I want to know how you managed that?" She asked.

"No." John mumbled into the desk top. Rocking his head in a back and forth motion.

"Sir the detail?" Asked Lorne to help his CO out.

John lifted his head up from the desk avoiding eye contact with Elizabeth, and sighed. "I'll let you know Evan. Let me talk to Carl first. Since we have this equipment we might as well set up a physical therapy room somewhere. The practice gym is not large enough now that we have the weight machine in there. I'll have Carl talk to Beckett about the idea and then get with you. You two can scout out a location near the practice gym."

"Yes Sir. Oh…have you reassigned the teams? I can post it on the board on my way back."

Rodney, Ronon and Teyla stiffened at the thought. When John asked Lorne to take over for him two and a half years ago it was a struggle for the team at first. But as time went on, they became a cohesive unit just like they had been with John. It would be hard not to have Col. Lorne as part of their team.

"No I haven't. Before making any changes of any kind that was one of the first things I wanted to talk to Dr. Weir about, when we have time. And since you brought it up and she's sitting right here and this concerns all of you I might as well broach the subject. I'd like to keep the teams as they are for now, no changes. I'd like to join Lorne's team for a while. It has been over two and a half years and I hate to admit it, but I'm a bit rusty. I'd like to go out with them a few times to get my mission legs back, so to speak. If that's okay with you Elizabeth."

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea John." Elizabeth remarked stunned to see her Second in Command taking things slow for a change. She couldn't quite put her finger on it just yet but something was different about John.

"Great. Lorne I'll be joining you and your team...my team…our team on your next few missions then."

"That's fine Sir. It'll be nice to have you back. I'd better get back to work myself. Welcome back Sir." Lorne dipped his head at his commanding officer before leaving the office.

Yesterday had been a long day with many ups and downs and after his impromptu celebration in his quarters and dinner in the mess hall a couple of hours later John found himself extremely tired and had gone to bed early. So with his team sitting in his office John continued to visit with his friends and arranged more Katas lessons with Teyla and Ronon. John even offered some lab-rat time to McKay to work on calculations or light-switch duty. Elizabeth returned to her office shortly after Col. Lorne left. Looking at his watch John realized that the morning was now gone. "I don't know about the rest of you…but I'm hungry. Lunch?"

oOo

Over the next two months Colonel Sheppard went with Lt. Col. Lorne and his team on several missions. Dr. Weir was after him yet again to reassign teams but John came up with more reasons not to. John told her it was because of him not having his mission legs back, but Elizabeth knew deep down that it was John not wanting to break up the team dynamic that had developed in his absence between Lorne and his team. But there was something else too. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something in John Sheppard had changed. He was more cautious, careful and understanding now. He wasn't jumping into situations like he used too. He was taking them slow. It was like trying to put together the pieces of a puzzle. There was a definite change from the John Sheppard that had come to Atlantis over five years ago. Elizabeth would continue to watch from a distance—for now adding additional pieces to her puzzle.

On his first mission together with Lorne's team they went to P2G-887, a merchant planet. Many cultures came to this planet at least once or twice a year to peddle their wares. As the team went from one make-shift booth to the next looking over the offerings, or on occasion sampling what was offered, the team bartered for food goods and some ancient tech that Dr. McKay had found interesting. Several of the merchants agreed to have them come to their home worlds to seek further trade alliances. Overall it had been a 'cake walk'.

John scheduled subsequent missions to these worlds and put them on the Atlantis mission board along with all the other requests that came in on a daily basis. Colonel Sheppard and Lorne's team made good on their promise to visit those plants and ended up setting up new food trade alliances. His first few missions were easy in his opinion but John didn't mind not having his life in peril and he certainly didn't miss being chased, being shot at by pointy arrows or getting hurt. He had made no guarantees to Carson but he was doing his best to stay out of the infirmary, at least as a patient that is.

On visiting Lir they traded technical knowledge on irrigation systems for a potato like vegetable that grew to be about the size of a watermelon. The Lirans current method of irrigation meant carrying water in five gallon jars for miles to the fields so that their crops would grow. O'dar explained that the rain showers on the lower plains were scarce however the higher elevations received rain showers during the hot months and a cold white rain during the cold months. Setting up a naquadah generator and pumping system at the water source was Rodney and Simpson's job. With the aid of a few Marines, John and Ronon laid down the aqueduct or in this case hollowed out halves of trees similar to large bamboo. Col. Lorne instructed O'dar and his people on how to open and close the openings along the aqueduct infrastructure so that water could be diverted to different sections of the planting fields. In return they would get a percentage of the new crops that would be coming to harvest in two months time. One watermelon sized potato could easily feed twenty to thirty people on Atlantis. Their current crop of otopa was just enough to take care of the Lirans needs but with the new aqueduct their yield would be greater for the next harvest. O'dar explained that the otopa root grows quickly.

On P7R-316 the Alpak's offered them a third of their fruit crops for medical aid and help rebuilding their settlement after a storm nearly wiped them out. Colonel Sheppard guessed the fruit would make for some good pies and other delicious desserts. At least Rodney and Ronon thought so. Once Rodney figured out the fruits were not citrus. The village was small and only took a week to rebuild. The Alpak's had been culled a third of a cycle ago so Colonel Sheppard figured it was worth the fruit to help them rebuild. He hoped it would be many years before the Wraith came back. Not many survived the culling and the storm had taken a few more.

Rodney found himself fixing a generator that provided a light source for the Karajan's after an attempted Wraith culling, because two scout darts came through the gate. Before either of them reached the village to produce a culling beam, John, Evan, Teyla and Ronon managed to bring them both down. The Lanteans tried to reassure the Karajan people that they were safe, but they were scared. Although it had been many generations since they were last culled the Karajan's remembered the stories from generations past and took refuge in the hills. Teyla and Rodney helped evacuate the Karajan's to the caves in the woods to escape the possible threat of culling, hence the need for Rodney to repair the generator. The Karajan people declared that they were going to stay in the caves for one full cycle of the moon in case more darts came through. The generator would allow them light when they needed it. For their help each member of the team was given a large satchel of cured meat to take back with them. It was the first time John could ever remember that no one was culled and no one was injured when seeing darts.

Sheppard couldn't say that on his latest mission however. Rodney had been working for a few hours on a console he'd found inside an ancient ruin in hopes of gaining another ZPM. The MALP and UAV had discovered a strong power signal on P5T-107 on its initial scan of the planet for EM emissions. The ruins were about an hours walk from the Stargate. Rodney managed to locate and disconnect the ZPM successfully. As the group headed back to the gate they were over run by angry natives. Ronon took a spear in the shoulder before he could get off a shot. Col. Lorne was knifed in the arm a few times when a native caught him off guard and the pair ended up in hand-to-hand combat. Teyla covered Rodney's escape with the ZPM in tact. Rodney only suffered a sprained ankle for his trouble. It was to Dr. Beckett's surprise, once everyone had been sorted out and treated; that he found Teyla and the Colonel had only minor cuts and bruises. The attack from the natives was unprovoked. It had nothing to do with Rodney taking the ZPM from the Ancient ruins. Teyla had managed to catch a few of the words that had been shouted towards them as they 'strategically ran', shall we say, to the stargate. Turns out the natives, a hunting party, were upset at the loss of their game. Seems the 'rounded' Lantean made too much noise and scared their dinner away. At least that is how Teyla presented it at the briefing.

The shoulder wound of Ronon's put the team in stand down for three weeks. Evan's knife wounds put him off duty for a week while Rodney's sprained ankle was wrapped and forgotten just as quickly since he had another ZPM for the city to test and use. Initial testing on the planet showed the ZPM yield to be over eighty percent charged. John kept himself busy with his duties of planning, arranging and sending teams off world while his other team mates recuperated. All his reports, files and miscellaneous tasks were all brought up to date and kept up to date.

After the newness of the ZPM wore off, Rodney went back to work full time trying to shield Sheppard's implant. Since the Colonel had made his announcement to the whole base Radek had been brought into the project and the two scientists bounced ideas off one another in hopes of sparking a solution.

Teyla took a week off herself and spent some much needed quality time with her people on the mainland. John was thankful for that as he kept getting his butt handed to him during Katas practice. Though he had several missions under his belt in the past two months John still resisted Elizabeth's request for reassignment of the teams. John just wasn't ready. At least that's what he kept telling Elizabeth.

oOo

The Daedalus was a month over due and some supplies were getting thin. John had had to break up two fights in the mess hall over the last cups of coffee. Rose Highland, the head of the mess hall, was rationing the coffee. She made only six urns per day in the 55 gallon coffee urns. Once those six urns were gone, there would be no more coffee until the next day. Scientists who lived on coffee needed their coffee as much as any life form needed oxygen to survive. Other food stores were limited but not to the point of rationing yet. The worlds the gate teams had set up trade alliances with were what sustained them until the next batch of supplies arrived. John only hoped that one of these days they would run across a world that grew coffee beans or a reasonable facsimile.

Elizabeth met Col. Caldwell on the gate room floor as he beamed into the city. John and Lt. Col. Lorne's team were off world. Dr. Weir began telling Caldwell of John's recent missions and his back to active status when the gate klaxons sounded.

"Unscheduled off world activation." Announced the gate technician on duty.

Col. Caldwell and Dr. Weir made their way up the grand staircase in the midst of the gate security detail getting into position with their weapons trained on the big blue puddle. As the pair were coming into the command center Elizabeth asked, "who is it?" and took her position on the balcony. Colonel Caldwell came to stand by her side.

"Reading Colonel Sheppard's IDC, ma'am." Responded the gate technician.

"Lower the shield." She replied calmly and tapped her comm. "Colonel Sheppard you're clear to come through." Elizabeth announced. "They're back early." She informed Caldwell.

It had now been three months the Colonel had been back on full duty. This was his tenth off world mission with Lorne's team, their first coming off stand down after his team mates' sustained injuries on P5T-107.

Down below on the gate room floor, there was a splurt and Rodney walked through. Another splurt and Teyla backed through. Both looked unharmed yet distressed. Elizabeth could see worry painted their faces and in their body language. As she watched two more splurts from the gate were heard and she witnessed, Lt. Col. Lorne and Ronon walking through. Ronon took time to settle his blaster back into his side holster. There had been no mention of hostiles so she wondered why Ronon had his gun out. But now that she was aware she realized that Teyla and Col. Lorne had come through with their P-90's raised. There was a short pause and the final splurt was heard as Colonel Sheppard backed through the gate, weapon ready and held at the shimmering blue puddle in front of him.

Sheppard looked up over his shoulder and yelled, "shut it down. Now!" Then he turned, started for the stairs and took them two at a time. He heard the gate shut down behind him by the time he hit the first step. The team followed him up the stairs.

"You're back early. Was there a problem?" Elizabeth casually asking as he made a fast approach.

Not stopping, he mumbled as he passed her and Colonel Caldwell, "something like that," and kept on walking right into her office. His face unreadable, eyes cold and set with determination and uncertainty. His team followed in single file. This was one debriefing apparently that couldn't wait.

Dr. Weir and Col. Caldwell both raised an eyebrow at the quiet words spoken as he passed. Not one word from his team mates either, especially McKay who always had something to say or was complaining about one thing or another, as they all walked by the pair in silence. Now the concern spread to Weir and Caldwell as well as they followed Ronon into the office. Shutting the door after they entered, Elizabeth took her place behind the desk choosing to stand. Her hands clasped the back of her black leather office chair. Col. Caldwell stood to the end of the desk nearest the door.

Rodney, Teyla and Ronon had taken seats on the couch like bench on the side wall. Rodney had his laptop opened already and his fingers were flying over the keyboard at lightening speeds. Lt. Col. Lorne stood at-ease, both he and Colonel Sheppard remained standing. "Glad you're here Sir, I could use the Daedalus's help." Sheppard addressed his equal, uneasiness showed in his tight posture.

Without the usual exchange of military courtesies it seemed that Sheppard was feeling a bit apprehensive about something and had chosen to delve right into the matter at hand. "What kind of help Colonel?"

"Yes John, what kind of help? What's going on? What happened on P6R-114?" Elizabeth asked now clutching the back of her chair.

"Michael."

There was a long silence in the office before Caldwell asked for more information. "What about Michael, Colonel?"

"He's bringing his army of superbugs together on 114." He paused to let the information sink in. "We hadn't run into anything on our routine survey mission. The planet was void of ruins, no people and no energy signatures so we were headed back early to the gate. Rodney couldn't find anything of significant value. One thing the planet did have a lot of was vegetation just like the Ancient database claimed. However, according to Teyla and Ronon the plants were non-edible. We were about a hundred yards from the gate when an incoming wormhole was established. We took cover in the tall brush at the tree line. Michael came through followed by some of his superbugs."

"That doesn't mean he's bringing his army together, Colonel." Caldwell interrupted.

"Let me finish." John paced a small area of the office adrenalin pumping high through his veins. "After they came through Michael dialed out and left. We were too far away to see where he went so we gradually changed our position to get closer. We were lucky that we were down wind of those things and that they hadn't discovered we were there. Anyway, we managed to move about ten yards closer when another incoming wormhole opened up and Michael led more of his bugs through the gate. One, maybe two hundred this time it was hard to tell. Michael dialed out again, only to return approximately twenty minutes later with another group. We kept moving closer, ten yards at a time towards the gate staying hidden in the tall brush and trees, and every twenty minutes or so Michael led another batch of his bugs through. Sometimes only twenty or thirty, other times hundreds came in at once."

John paused a moment to collect himself before continuing his report, the mere thought of those things made his skin crawl. Their large head and hard shelled back made them hard to kill. Their black claws with what looked liked three pronged pinchers made them deadly in a fight. John remembered how strong and big they were and now that he had seen them in daylight they were even more menacing. They scurried fast away from the gate as if knowing more would be showing up. His right hand unconsciously moved to rub the scar on the side of neck. "Before we could change our positions, we had to wait for the bugs to move off, away from the gate which they did at a pretty fast pace. It appeared they were making room for the next incoming batch. By the time we moved close enough to the gate and the DHD there must have been a thousand of those things on the planet. He's definitely up to something. We watched as the bugs moved off, we only had a small window of opportunity before Michael would dial in and return with more. At twelve minutes into Michael's approximate twenty minute interval, I dialed us out and got the hell off that world. What I need is for you and the Daedalus to monitor the planet. See just how many of those superbugs Michael has. Determine if the other Wraith hives are helping him. Or if he has any ships on the planet that we could not see from the ground."

Caldwell took a brief moment to ponder what the Colonel had just reported. "Col. Lorne do you concur?"

"I do Sir." Lorne stated respectfully.

Caldwell tapped his comm and advised his ship to prepare to leave within five minutes. "I'll need coordinates."

"Done!" Shouted McKay from his position at the back of the office where he had sat with Teyla and Ronon, quietly.

A flash of light engulfed Col. Caldwell and he was beamed out of Weir's office. Caldwell understood the urgency of the matter all to well. He remembered reading the report of their first encounter with the superbugs. Since Caldwell had only been on Atlantis for fifteen minutes the off-loading of supplies would have to wait until they got back.

"John what do you think he's planning?" Elizabeth asked.

"Whatever it is, it's big. He's bringing his army together which in my book tells me he's about to attack. But attack who? Us? The Wraith? Other defenseless worlds? I don't know Elizabeth. How many teams do we have off world right now?" John asked rubbing the right side of his neck unconsciously.

"Three." She answered. "Why?"

"Call them back. Our shield will protect Atlantis and the mainland. I don't want any of our people off world until I know what Michael is up to. We should also contact our allies and inform them. Lorne you organize and ready the military and McKay back there is going to come up with a brilliant plan. Aren't you McKay?" John turned to look at his team mate.

McKay's head popped up from his laptop. "What?" He hadn't been paying too much attention to the exchange of information between the two military leaders and Elizabeth. When he saw Caldwell on the balcony with Dr. Weir he knew that Sheppard would ask for his help. He had already relayed the coordinates of P6R-114 to the Daedalus then he moved on to verify the ZedPM output needed to hold back an attack of any magnitude on this planet if that's what Michael had in mind.

Elizabeth moved out from behind her desk and stood next to John. "I agree about recalling our teams, but we have no information to pass along to our allies. At least not yet anyway. We don't know…"

"Elizabeth, we can at least give our allies a heads up. Tell them what we do know and let them decide what to do with it. Maybe they have heard rumors which might give us an idea of what Michael has planned, I don't know. As soon as we know more we can relay that information. It's more than the Ancients did before they abandoned this galaxy ten thousand years ago. And I sure as hell don't want those superbugs of Michaels to attack us or any other civilian populated planet if I can do something about it." John emphatically explained, feeling all too responsible for the current situation.

"I suppose you're right. So what's this brilliant plan?" She asked.

"We'll let you know as soon as we come up with one." John grinned at Elizabeth. He turned to Evan and the rest of his team. "Lorne, you and Ronon go get started. Teyla, I'll take you to the mainland so you can speak to your people. McKay…you work on that brilliant plan. I'll be back in an hour or so." The Colonel conveyed.

oOo

The Colonel came down the stairs into the control room from the jumper bay overhearing Elizabeth informing one of their allies about the situation with Michael. Teyla had remained on the mainland since there were hunting party's still out and she wanted to be the one to inform all her people.

"Yes Chancellor, we will contact you again when we know more. Atlantis out." Elizabeth sighed. It was her second to last notification and it had gone the same as all the rest. Each allied world wanted more information than what she had at this time. It was frustrating to her and to them as well she presumed. They all promised to contact her if any of their people found out any more news or heard any new rumors.

Several of their allies informed Dr. Weir of what they knew or had learned. One of their allies had actual cause for alarm as a neighboring world was over taken by hideous creatures. The world was found desolate and no longer could they allow their small herd of kuh's to graze. The planet had once been pasture land of yellow and blue grazing grasses as far as the eye could see. Elizabeth presumed by 'hideous creatures' they meant Michael's superbugs. Although the information that was passed on lacked any details or value as to what Michael had in mind.

John squeezed her shoulder, "you doing okay?"

"Yes. I just wish I had more information to pass along."

"You will. The Daedalus should be contacting us soon with an update. What did Ladon have to say?" John asked purely out of curiosity.

"Oh the usual. His Genii forces were up to the challenge. Thanked me for the information…" She replied.

"Same old song and dance then. Remind me again why we have a treaty with them. Forget I asked, where's McKay?"

"Briefing room. I set up command operations in there." She replied. "I also notified the Alpha site. Staff Sergeant Alcala informed me it will take them two hours to lock down and then they will gate home."

"Great. 'Lorne this is Sheppard, briefing room ten minutes'. I'll just go check on McKay and see what he's got for us. He's had over an hour I'm sure his genius mind has come up with something by now."

"I'll be in shortly I have one more call to make." Elizabeth quipped with a half-turned smile as the reference to 'call' was so out of the ordinary. Who ever would have thought to use a stargate to make phone calls.

John walked into the briefing room and scanned the room. The room was a buzz of frenetic activity. His eyes immediately followed his hearing and were now focused on McKay and Zelenka arguing over data which was normal for them. A good thing he told himself because if McKay and Zelenka were arguing it meant they were on to something and it was their way of working out the finer details. Further scanning found Carson and two other members of his team huddled at another table going over their research on the bugs. When Ronon severed one of the bug's limbs with his sword, they had brought it back for testing and research. Three members from entomology huddled around a couple of laptops as well. Finally his eyes scanned the large plasma screen that was set up in one corner, a communications tech was seated inside the door monitoring both internal communications and any sub-space communication that would be coming through from the Daedalus.

Carson gave the Colonel a nod as he entered the briefing room and then went back to talking with his two fellow researchers. The Colonel walked up to stand behind McKay and Zelenka neither of whom acknowledged his presence. He placed a firm hand on each man's shoulder to get their attention. The arguing continued until he squeezed hard enough to elicit an 'ow' out of McKay.

"Hey…watch it…I need that shoulder." McKay spouted.

John ignored his little outburst. "So what's the brilliant plan?"

"No brilliant plan yet Colonel." Rodney replied.

"McKay…you've had over an hour, actually closer to an hour and a half. I've seen you come up with plans in way less time then this."

"Well…yes…I'm sure you have. But I haven't got anything for you this time…What I mean to say is…I don't have anything 'yet'." Rodney prattled off not daring to look at the Colonel.

"So what's all this arguing about then?" Sheppard asked.

"Argument over how to stop bugs, Colonel." Radek advised the Colonel. "I tell Rodney we use Daedalus weapon system."

"And I told you that won't work! Now move on and try to find something useful I can use." Rodney spouted.

"Vy jste neinteligentní blbeček."

John let out a small chuckle unintentionally. Radek looked up at him big eyed. This wasn't the first time he'd notice the Colonel responding to something he had said in Czech. "Why won't it work McKay?" John asked quickly trying to cover up his little slip. He had never told Radek that he understood Czech but John got the feeling that the cat was for sure out of the bag now.

"Because it won't." Rodney stated. Then he heard that sound that Sheppard makes when he is about to lose his temper, like someone counting to ten in the back of his throat only not in English but some other language. "Look…using the Daedalus weapons won't guarantee we can eradicate all of them. I assume you want to kill them _**all**_? The firing mechanism is not designed for wide spread fire…and before you ask…no I can't reconfigure the system. Well…I could…but it would take about a week. Longer then we have time for I presume. You have no idea how complicated those mechanisms are on the Daedalus. I tried to tell the SGC when I saw the plans for the Prometheus how they could make the firing system thirty percent more efficient. But did they listen to me? Of course not. Instead they exiled me to Siberia. Do you know how cold it gets in Siberia?" Rodney heard that growl again coming from the Colonel and realized he had gone off on a tangent. Without apologizing he took back up where he left off. "Like I said it's just not possible. Some of the bugs could escape through the stargate before the Daedalus could expend enough of their ordinance on the surface."

"We could supplement using the jumpers and the F-302's…" John started to say before Rodney started in again.

"Yet again…not such a good idea. No the jumpers and F-302's would just be in the way. I'll think of something…just leave me alone so I can think." Rodney said.

"Okay keep at it. I need some way of stopping those things. McKay, you and Radek are my best options." John informed them.

'_No pressure.'_ Rodney thought.

Just as he finished talking to the two bickering scientists Elizabeth walked into the room. "I just got done talking with Minister Byn. He informed me that a planet they use to let their quells feed off from time to time is now barren wasteland. He said the whole area was void of any type of green vegetation."

"Is that the planet with the ostrich size chickens?" Elizabeth gave John a confirming nod.

The Sergeant monitoring the sub-space communications announced that Col. Caldwell was reporting in from 114. Radek and Rodney gave each other a look of gloom and doom before turning their attention to the plasma screen in the corner where Col. Caldwell's face appeared.

"_Atlantis this is Daedalus do you read?"_ Caldwell asked.

"Yes Steven, we read you. What is your status?" Elizabeth asked.

"_We're in low orbit over the planet. Scans indicate thousands of life signs now. No ships on long range sensors. None so far detected on the planet surface. Hermiod reports continuous Stargate activation at approximate twenty minute intervals."_ The Daedalus Commander reported.

"Can you check the other five planets in the solar system for a Stargate? I'd like to send a couple of jumpers through. They can cloak and get a lot closer look." Sheppard advised wishing he had thought about putting jumpers on the Daedalus before she left Atlantis. It was too dangerous with those bugs to put feet on the ground but a jumper could be invisible eyes. Sheppard realized he had let his emotions take control over his brain. He hadn't been thinking too clearly when he and his team came back through the stargate. "Wait! Colonel, did you scan for a cloaked dart?" The thought just occurred to him that maybe it was Michael who sent that cloaked dart to Atlantis over a year and a half ago.

Lorne and Ronon came into the briefing room and caught the Colonel's exchange. Hearing the Colonel state he wanted to send jumpers to the area, Lorne tapped his comm and ordered three jumpers prepped and ready just in case.

"_No I haven't. I'll inform Hermiod. Have Dr. McKay send up the detection program. We'll check out the other planets and contact you again in a few hours. Caldwell out."_

"Rodney, send the program for detecting a cloaked dart to the Daedalus. Carson, you have any ideas on how to stop these things? I'll take anything you or your department has. I'm open to suggestions." John told them. Seeing the Doctor confer with his other team members then shake his head no he turned back to talk to Lorne and Ronon. "Colonel, where do we stand in defense of Atlantis?"

"I've got three spotters on each pier plus several on the upper balconies. I've pulled the Station Guards, Sir, to help, so please be careful where you go within the city." He firmly added the reminder. "The men have all been informed and know where their duty assignments are. Ronon gave them all a brief idea of what they would be dealing with. I've set up two extra patrols in all civilian occupied sectors. I've added ten extra men between the gate room and command deck. I've assigned two guards to Dr. Beckett, they're just outside. And when Teyla gets back I've got a detail set up for her, not that she would need it. We're good to go, unless you can think of anything else Sir."

"Excellent Colonel. Let's hope it's all for nothing. Elizabeth, are all the teams back?" John asked.

After referring to her watch Elizabeth answered. "Yes, the last team came in fifty minutes ago. The Alpha site team is not due in for another hour at least."

That eased the Colonel's mind if only for a microsecond, knowing that all his people were back or soon would be in Atlantis and would be safe under the shield if Michael's objective was to attack them from the air. He figured that McKay or Zelenka had already checked the ZPM's, gate controls and gate shield should Michael try to come through the Stargate. He knew Michael had contempt for them from his last encounter. His mind flashed with the scene of the iratus bug on Teyla at the new Taranian settlement. Vengeance is a strong motivator but with the four ZPM's they now had he was sure he could protect everyone on Atlantis. Just not their allies.

"Rodney…how many life signs can a dart's culling beam hold? Could it hold thousands? Could a cloaked dart penetrate our shield?" Colonel Sheppard inquired.

McKay stopped typing while he formulated his response. Radek had stopped typing as well. The two exchanged a few words between them before Rodney looked over to the Colonel to reply. "No…no I don't think it could hold thousands. Unless…" Rodney trailed off for a second. "My guess would be no more than twenty or so. I honestly never gave that a thought. The dart's buffer is not that big. As for a cloaked dart, if it had our shield frequency it could penetrate our shield… however we would be able to detect it long before it got in range with the program I wrote when we had the incidence with the first dart. If Michael modified the dart in anyway it would have to reconfigure its frequency to match our own in order to slip past our shield and we know from the wreckage we obtained that the cloaking mechanism takes a lot of power. So if Michael was going to beam in his superbugs he would have had to have made significant modifications to the dart."

John had picked up on McKay's little stumble and not wanting to leave any minute detail out asked. "Unless what McKay?"

"Unless? Oh…I was thinking that if Michael did make modifications to the dart then it could be possible for him to store more life signs. Similar to our compression algorithm that we use on our data bursts." Rodney didn't like the sound of that at all but it was a possibility not that he gave it much credibility. Just thinking that the dart might hold up to twenty-five life signatures was scary enough. He didn't want to think about thousands of superbugs beaming into the city all at once. The one they encountered on the new Taranian planet was horrific enough for him.

John wasn't so sure he liked what McKay said about the possible modifications to the dart. If Michael had made changes to the dart it had to be on the planet. There would be no way Atlantis could withstand thousands of superbugs. But Michael would have to know the shield frequency and he was pretty sure he didn't have that.

"Rodney can you or Radek vary our shield frequency to make it harder for anyone to lock onto it? Give us time to locate a cloaked dart and destroy it before any bugs get beamed into the city?" John asked.

"Yes…yes that is possible now that we have a fourth ZedPM. We can use the ZedPM to alter the shield signal. It could be set up independently and would not interfere with the city shield or cloak." Rodney turned to Radek and had him begin the work on varying the shield frequency.

John was glad that was doable but his thoughts turned to the other inhabited planets in the galaxy. How could he protect them from those superbugs? Time was ticking away fast; McKay and Zelenka were discussing options as were Carson and his team plus the three entomologists. Base security had been taken care of thanks to Lt. Col. Lorne and Ronon. Now he just needed information from the Daedalus. God he hated waiting.

"Come on people! I need some way of stopping these things. Think! We have the upper hand here. The element of surprise. Think outside the box. I don't want to lose the upper hand. We may never be in a position like this again where we have the advantage. Anything?" John voiced his frustration loud and clear as he paced around the briefing room but found himself hovering over Radek and Rodney most of the time. He read through Elizabeth's notes again for the third time. As she contacted each of their allies Elizabeth jotted down any worth while information that was passed along to the Lanteans.

"It's not an attack." Sheppard blurted out as he stopped his pacing and took in the stunned looks of everyone in the briefing room. "Well not an attack like you think."

"John, what do you mean?" Elizabeth asked.

"Look here." John pointed to two different notes she made. "See, you mentioned that our trade ally on K'Nath said a planet was over run with 'hideous creatures'. And here you mentioned that Minister Byn said the planet they used for their quells was 'void of green vegetation, a wasteland'. P6R-114 is mostly vegetation. Cadman checked one out eight months ago and there were two others then too. And if I'm not mistaken several more planets we visited were the same. I've read all the reports what does that make it…ten… twelve planets so far? I think Michael is going from planet to planet and letting his army feed. When they're done all that's left is barren wasteland. What would be the chance of anything growing there again? We've sent out science teams to take samples and so far they can't determine what caused the planets, flora and fauna, to erode. What would happen if you went from planet to planet, used up all the natural resources? Eventually the human population would die out, they'd starve. And Michael has thousands of superbugs."

The briefing room fell silent as each member pondered what the Colonel surmised.

"Aye…that is a possibility. We've discovered an enzyme that if the creature secretes could cause the flora not to regenerate. And without plant life you have no animals. Bloody hell."

"Why would Michael want to starve out the population? We're their food source… albeit reluctantly." McKay asked in general.

"Think about it. He's not welcome as a human and he's not welcome as a Wraith. What better way to rid the galaxy of both. If the humans starve and die out so will the Wraith." Answered John.

"That's preposterous! If Michael is doing what you're thinking he's doing he will contaminate the whole galaxy. It would be unsustainable to all life forms including his and his bugs. The wraith can hibernate for centuries. Michael wouldn't wait that long. He'd have to have a place to retreat to while he waits them out. Where would he go then?" McKay's acerbic rant ended with everyone in the room staring at him in awe.

Everyone in the room was silent. Waiting on McKay's brain to catch up with his expeditious mouth. When realization set in…

"Oh."

TBC

12/14

Czech translation:

"Vy jste neinteligentní blbeček." Means: "You are brainless nitwit."


	13. Chapter 13

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** I am NOT in the medical, military or science professions so what you read is just 'winging it'. Hope it sounds plausible. Also in my stories there will always be Dr. Weir and Dr. Beckett.

This is the fourth story I've written dealing with Colonel Sheppard's disability. Preceding order: Three for the Price of Two, Conquering Adversities, Unexpected Surprises.

The story was beta read and any remaining errors are my own. Enjoy.

Life Altering

By Kwillads

Chapter 13

Several hours had passed and in that time a few of the allies that Elizabeth had contacted earlier were dialing back to report miscellaneous bits of information and rumors they've obtained in light of the situation. Three more planets to their knowledge had been victimized by some sort of creature leaving the worlds unsustainable.

Radek got the fourth ZPM on line to oscillate the shield frequency when the time came. It had taken him two hours. Rodney was still trying to come up with a viable plan that would wipe out the bugs all at once but fell short. Drawing on all his available resources both here on Atlantis as well as what the Daedalus could offer, he got nothing, except the start of a headache.

Colonel Sheppard paced back and forth between the control room and briefing room checking and double checking that Atlantis would be secure and safe as well as the planet and the Athosians on the mainland. The Alpha site team gated in an hour ago. Teyla returned after the last hunting party returned to the settlement. Her people were making preparations just in case. There were some hills to the north of the settlement that offered shelter. Carson worked like a dog trying to find some way to incapacitate the superbugs and he too came up short. The insect guys had packed it up moments ago and went back to the entomology lab. They just didn't have enough information on the superbugs to be of any help. Having one severed limb from several years ago was not enough to pursue a solution.

There really wasn't anything else they could do until the Daedalus reported in.

"Sir." The communications tech stated. "Incoming communication from Col. Caldwell."

"Put it through Sergeant."

On the plasma screen Col. Caldwell came into view. _"Atlantis do you read?"_

"Yes Sir. Go ahead." John stood stiffly waiting to hear Caldwell's report.

"_We detected one cloaked dart approximately two hundred meters due west of the Stargate. There are two other Stargates in this system. The closest one is an hour away by jumper. Surface scans of 114 indicate a growing number of life signs. You were right Colonel; it appears Michael is bringing all of his superbugs here. We'll maintain our low orbit and continue to monitor. Gate coordinates coming your wa_y." Caldwell stated.

"Thanks Colonel." John looked over at the communications tech, who nodded. "Coordinates received."

"_I assume we'll be seeing you and Dr. McKay."_ Caldwell mentioned.

"Yes Sir. Expect to receive company in about an hour. Atlantis base out." John said. "Okay McKay time to go. Don't want to keep Caldwell waiting now do you?"

"Sir, Jumpers Two, Three and Six are all packed and ready to go. Captain Polansky and his team are standing by in Jumper Six. Lt. Ruiz and his team in Jumper Three, I'll take my team in Jumper Two." Lorne advised.

"I'm going out there, Colonel." Sheppard pointed out to his Second in Command.

"With all due respect Sir, you're needed here." _Safer here_ is what Lorne really wanted to say. Lorne looked to Dr. Weir, McKay and Carson for backup. He knew his commanding officer too well and knew he would insist on going. It was much safer if he stayed on Atlantis and coordinated efforts. "Sir, we don't have a plan yet and any plan we do come up with would be at the last minute. Sir, please reconsider." Lorne stated again.

"Aye son, you've only been back on your feet a few months. Let Col. Lorne handle it."

"John. I think they're right. You can coordinate from here." John looked at Elizabeth. There was worry in her face. Although it was worry regarding him, not the situation they found themselves with.

"Concerns noted. Request denied. I'm going. I'll be fine. I'll make a deal with you though; I'll leave when Lorne tells me. If I don't, Ronon has my permission to stun me. Will that do?"

"Guess it will have to…Sir." Lorne acquiesced not liking his CO's deal one bit.

"And Chewie, you don't need to look so happy about that either." Sheppard said as he caught the gleam in the eyes and the grin that appeared on Ronon's face. "Elizabeth, I'll keep in contact so you can update our allies. And Teyla, I need you to stay here and help Elizabeth update our allies and coordinate your people if we don't succeed. Things could get ugly and they will need a level head to calm them. Elizabeth, Major Jacobs is in command of the military until I get back. Let's go McKay."

"As you wish Colonel. Be safe." Teyla responded. Deep down she wanted to be with her team mates, but as she gave more credence to the plan and thought about it there really wasn't much she could offer in the way of assistance on board the Daedalus. But as the leader of her people she needed to be here for them as well as render assistance to Elizabeth when she contacted their allies. She chose not to debate the Colonel's order.

Rodney packed up his laptop and gave some last minute instructions to Zelenka before following Sheppard, Lorne, and Ronon to the jumper bay. So far the plans that he had been working on had all come up short. Disabling the Stargate and strand the bugs on the planet was one. But that would only work if a hive ship didn't decide to cull the planet and rescue them before they had a chance to figure out a way to exterminate them. Using the Daedalus's fire power, rail guns and so forth could not guarantee they would get them all. That plan was nixed right off the starting block. Setting fire to the planet was an option, but someone would have to disable the gate so they couldn't escape but Michael had a dart which could dial the gate. All his plans sucked, his mind kept trying to come up with a feasible solution.

After hearing what the Colonel thought Michael was doing, Carson and his two associates looked for ways of using pesticide. It was a sound solution, but had two problems with it. First there was no time to manufacture enough pesticide let alone test to see which combination of chemicals would kill the bugs but leave the planets eco-system in some balance. Second was distribution. As far as Carson knew there were no crop-dusters in the Pegasus Galaxy. And third, yes there was a third problem. If they had the right chemical compounds they certainly didn't have 'enough' of the compounds for such a large scale attack.

"Good Luck." Elizabeth whispered as John walked out the briefing room door. Her Second in Command had taken care of everything. Major Jacobs stepped into the conference room to wait.

oOo

Three jumpers having emerged through the Stargate an hour ago were now coming into orbit around P6R-114. The atmosphere inside of Jumper Two had been quiet except for the constant typing McKay did on his computer. When Lorne had first teamed up with McKay, Ronon and Teyla at his boss's request he found Teyla the easiest to work with. Ronon had 'shoot first' issues and McKay drove him to the brink of insanity with his incessant talking. But more than the talking it was the constant clicking of the laptop keys that really drove him crazy. McKay could talk 90 mph and type one handed just as fast. And for the last hour that was the only sound resonating throughout Jumper Two. It had taken Lorne eight long months to get over his inadequacies when it came to Dr. McKay. How had the Colonel put up with him for all those years?

Each man was lost in thought trying to come up with their own possible solutions and falling short as well.

The jumper's sensors were not picking up the big ship in low orbit over the planet, nor high geosynchronous orbit or anywhere for that matter. Scans of the area showed no Wraith ships, no battle debris. If the Daedalus had to jump into hyperspace surely they would have contacted Atlantis and advised of the situation through the Stargate and sub-space communications relay that was set up, but there had been no contact from either party.

"Rodney, check the sensors. See if they are malfunctioning. I'm not picking up the Daedalus." While McKay checked the onboard sensors Colonel Sheppard checked in with his two other jumper pilots. Both reported no contact. There were no way all three ships sensors could be on the blink. The jumpers all had regular maintenance schedules that he personally made sure were adhered too. The last thing Colonel Sheppard wanted was to have a jumper team stranded while on a mission.

"Sensors working at one hundred percent." Rodney relayed.

"Sheppard to Daedalus."

"_Right on time Colonel. Our sensors show three jumpers, you're clear to land in the left hanger bay."_ Caldwell informed him.

"Thank you Sir. Jumper Three will be heading to the planet for recon. Jumper Two and Six will be landing. But we have a problem with that Sir." The Colonel announced.

"_Problem? What kind of problem?"_ Asked a concerned Col. Caldwell.

"Sir, we're not picking up the Daedalus on any of our sensors. Where are you?" After he said those three words, it sounded worse aloud than when he had thought them a moment ago.

"_Sending coordinates and flight path now Colonel."_

'_Was there a hint of mischievousness in that reply from Caldwell?'_ John looked over at Rodney. "Coordinates received and plotted, but…"

"But what McKay?" John asked impatiently.

"There's nothing there. Look." McKay pulled up the HUD and showed the Colonel the coordinates. Lorne leaned forward from his chair as did Ronon to view the heads up display as well. All it showed were the three jumpers. Jumper Two and Six in tandem while Jumper Three was maneuvering towards the planet surface. The Colonel looked at the HUD, and then did another sensor sweep in the same area as the coordinates they had received and still came up with nothing.

"Daedalus, I think those coordinates you transmitted…"

"_The coordinates are correct Colonel, just follow the designated flight path." _Caldwell restated with a reassuring tone.

"Roger that." John swallowed down hard and followed the flight path as he was instructed. One minute there was deep blue space all around, the next he was in the left hanger bay of the Daedalus. John set the puddle jumper down lightly, powered off the systems and lowered the back hatch. "Whoa. That was cool." He allowed himself a moment of satisfaction.

Jumper Six followed Jumper Two until it disappeared right in front of them. Not deviating from the same path, Jumper Six set down next to Jumper Two without incident in the left 302 hanger bay.

"Cloak. Gotta be. That must be why the Daedalus was delayed getting back to Atlantis." Rodney stated. "That's something I gotta see. I wonder if it's Asgard or Ancient or if Dr. Carter had anything to do with it. Sam's smart but I bet she had help from the Asgard."

"McKay, stop drooling, you'll have to put that on hold, we have a mission to complete here remember. Bugs. Big mean bugs. Hard shells. Hard to kill. Remember? I still need a plan and so far buddy, you're letting me down. I'm going to the bridge to check in with Caldwell. You…" John pointed at McKay and tapping his laptop. "…you get me a plan. Lorne, you and Ronon hang back around here with Jumper Six."

"Yes Sir." Lorne said.

The Colonel took off at a half trot towards the bridge. He was sure that McKay would end up in engineering, but right now he needed to talk to Colonel Caldwell. Reaching the bridge he saluted the Colonel before speaking, "Sir, is there somewhere private we can talk?"

Caldwell slid out of his command chair and motioned for the pilot to follow. "This way Colonel Sheppard." Caldwell led him across the hall to his private quarters. "What is so important you couldn't talk on the bridge?"

"Sorry Sir, I think I know what Michael is doing. He's systematically going from planet to planet and allowing his army of bugs to consume all the natural resources. So what I'm about to suggest is a little unorthodox, you might say, on how to stop him."

"I've come to expect that from you and Dr. McKay. Where is the good Doctor anyway?" Caldwell asked.

"McKay still has not come up with an idea. He's probably in engineering by now swooning over your cloak although I told him to keep working towards a solution. He was considering how he might use the ships defenses and armaments, but his simulations are not working out. So far each idea leaves the possibility that some of the bugs could escape through the stargate or be rescued by passing wraith ships. I personally don't like those kinds of options. This gave me an idea. Anyway, I need you to…"

oOo

Rodney lasted about ten minutes in the hanger bay with Lorne, Ronon and the others. His curiosity about the large ships cloaking device was too much for him not to investigate. He sat on the back left bench of Jumper Two working on his laptop trying not to let the Colonel down and come up with a brilliant plan. Snapping his fingers wildly, "I think I have an idea. I need to talk with Hermiod in engineering." And with that said he took off down the ramp and out the bay door before anyone could say anything different or stop him for details.

It wasn't a total lie he did have an idea just not a solid one he wanted to share at this time.

Reaching engineering he bombarded Hermiod and Novak with questions regarding the cloaking device. Typing away on his laptop at nothing less than full speed inputting the information the two were providing. "This just might work," he mumbled to himself as he kept writing out complex equations. Displacement theory, cumulative frequency and a multitude of variables both unequal and equal. Rodney gave each segment a quantitative exponent before figuring in any other attributes. His algebra, calculus, trigonometry and advanced theoretics lent way to a possible solution.

Over his headset he vaguely heard Colonel Sheppard order the two jumpers to depart for reconnaissance of the planet.

oOo

"Sir, Jumper Two and Six are away. Hanger bay closing Sir." The Helmsman, Capt. Dave Kleinmann informed his superior.

"Alright, break orbit and head to the closest planet. Best possible speed." Caldwell gave the order and the ship moved off at sub-light speed. "On our initial scans checking for gates we did a fast preliminary check. Two of the planets were uninhabitable; one was a gas giant, the other had a toxic atmosphere. Two of the remaining three could sustain life and the third was heavily populated."

Colonel Sheppard stood looking out the front viewing port of the bridge listening to the Daedalus commander. He wanted to see the other planets in this system for himself. The first planet came into view. It was a blue marble just like Earth and there appeared to be a lot of land mass from what he could tell from this far away. The planet was habitable yet had no life and no Stargate. The Daedalus took fifty minutes scanning and re-scanning the entire surface to be absolutely sure.

"No life signs Colonel." Announced Caldwell. Colonel Sheppard gave a nod in response to the information. Maintaining his view out the forward view window deep in thought.

"Would the Asgard beam be able to beam the superbugs from 114 to here? This planet has no Stargate so no escape. And once the resources were gone they'd die out." John stated to no one in particular.

"I'll have Hermiod work on that. Take us to the next planet Captain."

"Yes Sir."

The second planet they scanned had the Stargate. It was the world with the gate the three jumpers had come through over two hours ago. The norm, in the Pegasus Galaxy, was if there was a Stargate on any world it usually meant inhabitants.

"Picking up life signs, quadrant four. The rest of the planet is void." Lt. Steele informed the bridge from his monitoring station at the far left of the large viewing window. Again the Daedalus took the time to thoroughly scan the entire surface. The life signs that the Lieutenant had picked up were near the Stargate.

"Are they human?" Asked Colonel Sheppard turning away from the viewing window for the first time to look at the Lieutenant.

"No way to tell Sir." Responded Lt. Steele.

"Can you beam me in close so I can take a look, but not too close?" Asked Sheppard.

"Yes but…" Caldwell started to say.

"Do it. Now! We don't have a lot of time to waste." Sheppard insisted loudly. He stood ready to be beamed down to the planet. "Colonel, please." He said more quietly.

"I will. Just give us a minute to run a scan for EM emissions." Caldwell turned to his left and issued the order for the scan.

"Yes Sir. Sorry Sir." Sheppard had forgotten and was glad that Caldwell hadn't. Back on Atlantis it was normal procedure to find station guards and chained off hallways and for the MALP and UAV to be sent through first, but here on the Daedalus he'd forgotten all about the safety protocols set in motion for his protection. The Daedalus was new territory and John was just thankful that Col. Caldwell had remembered. John was grateful that McKay was working in engineering so he wouldn't have to listen to McKay say 'I told you so' in front of Caldwell. Especially after the arguments made when he told his friends he was going ahead with the surgery knowing the risks.

"You're good to go, Colonel."

"Thank you." A white light engulfed Colonel Sheppard on the bridge and a moment later he found himself on the planet.

He crouched low. He could hear movement off to his right at his two o'clock position and slowly he worked his way through the brush towards the sound. Peering around some tall spotted grasses he pinpointed the life signs which appeared to look like a cow only they were much smaller. Midget like. Standing he could see some were solid in color while others had stripes like a tiger. The small animals all had stubby tails like a bobcat and floppy ears like a floppy eared bunny. Tapping his headset he wanted to confirm with the Daedalus that these were indeed the life forms detected. Receiving confirmation that they were one in the same, he moved closer, finding it odd that the small animals were not afraid of his approach. Several stopped their grazing and looked his way as he approached.

John had gotten up close to one of the small cow like animals or was it the other way around? "Their domesticated Colonel. I think we should send them through the gate." Sheppard replied as he petted one from his kneeling position. One of the striped animals had taken a liking to him. Its fur was soft and silky, medium in length. He noticed there were markings on its collar. It was a gate address. He just hoped it was the address from where the midget animals came from.

"_How can you be sure they're domesticated Colonel?"_ Asked Caldwell.

"Well Sir, they're pretty friendly and they all have collars. Well except for some of the babies anyway."

"_Understood." _

Colonel Sheppard was beamed back aboard the Daedalus and four teams of highly trained combat ready Marine's were detailed to get the small herd of sixty or so animals through the Stargate, while the Daedalus moved on to search the next planet.

"No life Sir. Toxic atmosphere." Commented Lt. Steele.

"Next planet." Caldwell announced.

oOo

Three planets down and two more to go. Now if his luck would just hold out a little longer. The fourth planet again had no life signs. It was a ball of fire just like Caldwell had said. From the front viewing port it glowed a bright orange. This and the toxic atmosphere planet held the best possible way of disposing the giant bugs. He hadn't heard from Hermiod if the Asgard beam could transport this distance or hold the energy signatures in its buffer. It still left the problem of how to disable the gate on 114. The last planet was furthest away from P6R-114 and had the second Stargate that Colonel Caldwell reported on earlier. As the big ship came into orbit the scan for life signs started. This world was heavily populated. Several thousands inhabitants in fact, the most of any planet they had ever been to in the almost six years they've been in this galaxy. With the exception of the Asuran home world that is.

It would take days, if not weeks to relocate them all, and that was if they could be talked into relocating. You had to wonder why the Wraith had left them alone. The only way to answer that question was to go down to the planet. After a check for EM emissions Colonel Sheppard was ready to be beamed down to the planet to make friends. Caldwell wanted to send an armed security detail along but the 'Sheppard Charm' won out.

Colonel Sheppard was beamed down about a half mile away from the town closest to the gate. He walked the dirt path towards town. As he crossed the wooden bridge that arched over a small stream, he met one of the local inhabitants. The Colonel explained he was a traveler and wanted to speak to the person in charge. He was instructed to go to the third building on his left after entering the archway and ask for Magistrate Yerri.

After meeting with the Magistrate, John found out that the shield that protected the town failed a few months ago. The Magistrate and his counsel had been up in arms. This was the first time to the Magistrates knowledge that his planet was vulnerable to the wraith. When John offered to take a look and see if he could fix the shield the Magistrate was more than delighted. Their culture embraced scientific advancement and from what John could see, the town had running water, plumbing and electricity. Most of the planets they had visited since coming to this galaxy could be described as primitive. Huts made out of varying materials. No electricity or running water. Very few worlds had been left untouched by the Wraith to advance to this level of technology.

"Magistrate," John said. "I believe I can help you out and fix this. Would it be okay if I contact some friends to help?"

"Yes, please." The large jolly man replied. Yerri reminded Sheppard of Mr. French from the old 1960's TV show 'Family Affair'. Yerri wore a brightly colored robe in bright blue and yellow, open in front, over his peasant off-white tunic and brown tanned leather pants. In John's mind, Yerri was not a stranger to hard work. Like most officials John's team had met in this galaxy, most were above reproach to any menial labor. Not so it seemed with Yerri. By day he was Magistrate and by night a hard working farmer if the calluses on his hands were any indication.

John tapped his comm and explained what he needed. When the Daedalus was ready, John explained to the Magistrate what was going to happen and reassured him, he was only trying to help. A white flash blinded the Magistrate in the central chamber of the scientific wing and when it was over, Rodney, Lieutenant Doctor Lindsey Novak and two Marine's along with a fourth generation naquadah generator stood in front of them.

"Sheppard, what's going on here? I don't have time for playing 'Galactic Repairman'. Busy man…plan, remember." Rodney barked.

"Have you come up with one?" Barked the Colonel right back at his friend.

"Well…not yet, not a working one anyway. At least not one that is one hundred percent." Rodney shot back.

"Consider this giving your genius brain a break. I need you and Lt. Novak to get the Re'sal's shield working again. And do it quickly." The Colonel explained.

Rodney huffed and took a look at the shield generator the Re'sal people had. The power source was depleted; '_thank God it wasn't a ZedPM_.' Rodney was pretty sure the naquadah generator would be compatible, even give them more room to expand. He and Novak worked diligently for the next two hours connecting their newest naquadah generator to the Re'sal's shield device. Magistrate Yerri summoned his lead scientist to help explain the workings and aid the two Doctors.

Closing his computer tablet Rodney walked over to where the Colonel and the Magistrate had settled in the back of the chamber. "Colonel, all done. Novak and the others have already gone back to the ship. All they have to do is turn it on after we're gone. Because…you know…" Rodney trailed off pointing at the Colonel before delivering the good news. "They even have more coverage area for expansion if they want." Rodney said happily. "Twenty percent more. And if you only turn it on when the wraith are present instead of running it 24/7 the power source will last longer. Either way it's up to you. If you don't mind my asking did you come up with this shield design by your self or did you…"

"Colonel, is this true? We have our shield back and more area to grow?" Asked Yerri.

"If McKay here says so, then it's true." John assured him. Caldwell interrupted him so he let Yerri and McKay talk.

"The answer to your question Doctor is yes. Our people strive and hunger for knowledge. Not only in the sciences but in the arts as well. I would be honored to share our knowledge with you and your peoples. It is rare to find partners with advanced technology that rivals or surpasses our own. The wraith do no like their human herd to grow in such ways. If you know what I mean."

"I do…I do. Tell me how did you come up with your design? It's quite remarkable." When McKay first saw the shielding device he was taken in by its design. Simple, yet effective.

"Some other time perhaps McKay. I'm sorry Magistrate, but Dr. McKay and I are needed on our ship. I'll be back later to talk more about a trade agreement between our two peoples. After we leave just turn your shield on and you'll be set."

Before the Magistrate could offer his thanks, the Colonel and Doctor McKay vanished from his sight. The Magistrate walked over to their town's defense shield and activated it.

"What's happened Colonel?" Sheppard asked arriving on the bridge in a flash of white light.

"We picked up a sub-space communication from Lt. Col. Lorne. He reports no more gate activity. And it appears there are an estimated six thousand of those creatures on the planet." Caldwell advised.

John winced at the news. Michael had really out done himself this time. "How long before we get back there?"

"At best speed, two hours." Caldwell told him.

"Sir, we can't spare the time to pick up the others. Have them gate directly to Atlantis. The Alpha site has been locked down." John explained.

"Consider it done Colonel."

"Has Hermiod come up with anything Sir?"

"Unfortunately no. The beaming technology cannot operate at that distance and the buffers will not hold that many life signs for transport. We could manage a third at a time." Offered Caldwell knowing that wasn't a solution. Taking a third of the bugs still left the other two-thirds to gate off the planet.

"Okay McKay you're up. We got two hours. Come with me." John grabbed McKay's arm and pulled him down the corridor after him back towards engineering.

"Look Rodney, there are two planets that are suitable for our giant friends. One has a toxic atmosphere the other is an orange gas giant. But the two planets are at least two or more hours away from 114 at best speed. Caldwell's had Hermiod see if the Asgard beam would be capable of beaming all the bugs from the planet in order to transport them to the planets. You just heard Caldwell say it isn't possible. I want you to run through the calculations. Maybe you can figure something out that Hermiod couldn't. You're better at thinking outside the box than Hermiod it. There is a third planet, much closer with no gate but that's not to say our Wraith buddies won't come rescue them before they die from starvation."

"That's your plan?" McKay squawked.

"You got a better one?"

"No."

"Then get busy. I'll check back with you later." John hurried off down the corridor leaving a stunned and silent McKay in his wake.

John reached the ring platform room and there sat two Mark IX tactical bombs ready on the ring platform. The same bombs that Lt. Col. Mitchell of SG1 called 'gate busters'. This was plan B if plan A was not adaptable. And right now he didn't think he could come up with a plan C.

oOo

"_Colonel Sheppard to the bridge."_ Came over the ships PA system.

Sheppard headed back to the bridge. As he walked in, the front view port was bringing 114 into view. His radio crackled in his ear, "Sheppard here."

"_Colonel, looks like the bugs are getting ready to leave. There's lots of movement going on down there. I think you were right Sir. The planet is a veritable wasteland now from when we were here 16 hours ago. What are your orders Sir?"_ Reported Lorne.

"Jumper Three and Six keep up surveillance. Jumper Two land on the Daedalus, I'll meet you in the hanger bay."

"_Copy that. Be there in five. Jumper Two out."_ Loren replied.

"Sheppard to McKay."

"_What!"_

"How is plan A coming? Are you outside the box?"

"_NO! It's not possible. We've tried everything. And I mean 'everything'. The beam wasn't meant to store that many energy signatures. Sorry Colonel, it can't be done."_ McKay felt dejected at yet another failure.

"Did you try your compression algorithm?"

"_What part of 'everything' don't you understand?" _

"Ok Sheppard out."

"What are you planning to do Colonel?" Asked Caldwell.

"Plan B Colonel. Stop Michael and his army of bugs from leaving that world Sir." John said as he ran off the bridge. He had one quick stop in engineering to make first. While he had waited for the Daedalus to return to the planet, John had time after rechecking and inspecting the Mark IX's on the ring platform to talk with Lt. Novak while McKay and Hermiod went at each other. Stopping quickly by engineering he grabbed two small black devices that Lt. Novak had readied, he yelled a quick 'thanks' and kept on running.

"Hey wait! What are you doing?"

"Plan B Rodney." John shouted back and kept on going.

'_Plan B? What's plan B? I didn't know we even had a viable plan A'_ he mumbled to himself before taking chase after his team leader.

John stopped at the ring platform room one last time triple checking his two nukes before heading to the 302 bay to meet up with Jumper Two. Rodney came to a quick stop beside the Colonel eyes wide at seeing the two Mark IX tactical bombs.

"Oh no. Oh no, no, no. You can't be serious! This is your plan B?"

"Yep. Plan B for bomb. Or for boom! Got a better one? You come up with a plan C?" John asked bluntly. "How long will it take you to calculate how to get these bad boys into the core of the planet?"

"Colonel you can't do that." McKay shouted. "I won't do that. Not after…"

"It's our only way. Look, if I'm right as soon as the planets resources are completely gone, Michael is going to open that Stargate and move his army to the next planet and so on. We don't know which planet he will go to next. And it could be inhabited. We have the upper hand here to strike before Michael is even aware. He didn't see us. I don't want to lose this opportunity. He and his bugs cannot be allowed off that rock." Sheppard acknowledged the concerned look on his friends face. John knew what he was asking his friend to do. Doranda was not that long ago and still fresh in their minds when they had taken out five-sixths of a solar system when project Arcturus failed. He didn't like the idea any better himself. Nowhere was this in his job description when he joined the Air Force, all he wanted to do was fly—not command and certainly not to destroy planets. "If I had a large can of Raid and knew it would work I'd use that, but I don't. This is our only option to stop Michael and all of his mutated superbugs. Possibly save the galaxy from extinction unless you can give me another alternative in the next five seconds."

"You just can't do that!" McKay said angrily.

"Yes I can, and I will. If you don't help me, I'll get Lt. Novak or someone else who will." John sternly said.

"I'll get Caldwell to stop you." McKay snapped back in a smug kind of way.

"McKay, who do you think had the nukes brought here?" John articulated with a raised eyebrow. "Besides, this was your idea in a way. You and Zelenka both talked about using the ships defenses and armaments." Although when they said that back on Atlantis, Sheppard was pretty sure neither of the scientists had thought to use the Mark IX's in this way. Sheppard just hoped it would be possible.

Rodney thought about that and the light went on over his head. Of course Caldwell was in on this absurdity, he's the only one who could authorize such deadly force. "The blast wave from the detonation could take out this whole solar system. Not to mention the possible radiation that might spread. And you would be affected by the blast wave. We have to get you out of here!"

"I know what the risks are. That's why for the past six and a half hours we scanned each planet in this solar system thoroughly. We sent the cow's home and you fixed the Re'sal's shield. Their planet is the farthest away and with their shield now fixed, well it should protect them if the blast wave were to reach their world. Now please, how long will it take you to calculate what it will take to get these nukes into the core of that planet?"

"What cows?" McKay asked.

"Tell you later if I'm still around. Now please…" John stated impatiently and took off towards the landing bay at a full run.

Rodney didn't like this plan, but he hadn't come up with anything better. _'Tell you later if I'm still around.' What the hell! _Rodney ran after the Colonel tapping his ear piece to have Hermiod do the calculations.

Hermiod grumbled and worked on the calculations to get the two nukes into the core. It was a good thing that the core of P6R-114 was liquid like Uranus and Mercury back in the Milky Way Galaxy. If it had been like Earth, a solid iron core they would have been screwed. The calculations came out better than Hermiod had expected. It would only take one nuke in the liquid core to cause the planets destruction and collapse.

Jumper Two's back hatch was just lowering when he got there. Ronon and Evan stepped out together and greeted him.

"Colonel, I need you and Ronon to go to the ring platform. McKay's there, but you'll need this." John took off a chain from around his neck which held two keys and handed it to Lorne. Lorne had seen keys like this before. They were unmistakably nuclear launch activation keys. Before the Colonel could say anything more, McKay came screaming into the bay.

"Stop him. Don't let him in that jumper!"

John moved towards the tiny ship but Ronon stepped into his path. The Satedan knew something was up if McKay was running. McKay didn't run unless his life was threatened or it was something real important like cherry pie or chocolate cake in the mess hall.

"Ronon move." John growled.

"Not until you tell us what's going on." His right hand moving towards his blaster at his thigh.

"McKay can tell you, now get out of my way, that's an order. We don't have much time."

"No." Ronon said, his gun hand twitching around his blaster. He hated the idea that he might have to stun his friend, but then again, his friend had given him permission. He didn't like going against Sheppard's orders either, but he knew he was making the right choice this time. Teyla had told him there would be times like this.

"Colonel, if you plan to do what I think you're going to do I'll have to order you back to Atlantis as per your 'deal'." Colonel Lorne stated firmly to his Commanding Officer. Evan casually reminded his commanding officer of the deal as McKay came screeching to a halt.

"Good you stopped him." McKay said breathlessly as he came to a stop. "You can't go down there alone. You'll need someone to watch your six."

"Go where?" Asked Lorne.

"To the planet. He's going to the planet to disable the DHD so Michael can't dial out." McKay huffed, still out of breath and breathing hard.

"Sir, McKay's right, you can't go down there. I'll go. You stay here and arm the devices." Lorne offered holding out the keys for the Colonel to take back.

"Device." Corrected McKay. "It will only take one. Hermiod did the calculations and it will only take one to blow up the planet and possibly the whole solar system."

"Can't accept the offer Colonel, I won't ask anyone to do this, it's too dangerous. And besides I'm not disabling the DHD. Lt. Novak reminded me that Ba'al had stolen Stargate's and that SG1 used these devices to tag them so the Odyssey could beam them off Ba'al's ship before it exploded. I plan on doing the same thing. Just going down to the planet to tag the gate and DHD so they can be beamed to the cargo hold trapping Michael and his superbugs on the planet with no way off. Besides, no use wasting a perfectly good gate. Now you have your orders Colonel, now get that device armed and ready to beam down to the planet on my order." John stepped to the side of Ronon and was surprised that he was let to pass.

Ronon turned and followed the Colonel into the jumper, as did Rodney. "Out! You're not going down there with me." John yelled at them.

Ronon ignored his outburst and took his usual seat in the cockpit of the jumper. McKay followed his lead and sat down in the co-pilots chair. "We're wasting time Colonel, let's go." McKay had already powered up the ships systems, quickly done a pre-flight check, and had initiated the rear hatch to close all the while Colonel Sheppard stared at his two friends.

John sat down in the pilot's chair. He didn't like this. He knew the risks. There was no reason for Ronon or McKay to go down to the planet. Jumper Two exited the hanger bay and headed for the bug infested planet. The Colonel advised Jumpers Three and Six to report on the area around the gate. He was going to set down as close to the DHD as possible. If any of the bugs or Michael were in range the Colonel wanted as much notice as possible. Jumpers Three and Six reported that the bugs were headed in their direction, but they had not seen Michael.

"McKay, can you pull off the gate addresses after the DHD has been beamed to the Daedalus?" John asked descending into the atmosphere of the planet.

"No. The DHD needs to be powered in order to pull off the addresses. Why?"

"How much time do you need to pull them?"

"Oh…I don't know…maybe five minutes or so. Why?" McKay asked again. Not understanding why it would be necessary to have the addresses.

"Okay…change of plans then. I'll tag the gate but I'll need you to pull as many of the addresses from the DHD before I tag it. Ronon you cover McKay's six."

The jumper sat down near the gate. Ronon was already out of his seat and had the back hatch lowering by the time Sheppard got there. Ronon took position on the left and the Colonel took position on the right. Cautiously stepping down the ramp P-90 raised John sprinted for the Stargate to attach one of the small black devices. McKay was already under the DHD hooking up the laptop to the gate crystals and downloading the last dialed gate addresses. It took him less than three minutes and he had over a hundred addresses. John saw him close the laptop so he attached the second black device to the DHD and headed back towards the lowered hatch of the jumper. Ronon had kept his blaster at hand while he scanned the immediate area for any danger while covering McKay's six. By the time the Colonel made it back to the jumper's ramp the Daedalus had beamed the Stargate off the planet. Another flash of light and the DHD had disappeared. He instructed Col. Caldwell to beam the weapon down, set for a ten minute delay. He had calculated it would take at least that long for the three jumpers to reach the Daedalus, land and for the Daedalus to jump into hyperspace.

"Rodney, can you locate the cloaked dart from here?"

"Yes."

"Good, find the cloaked dart. Col. Caldwell said it was approximately two hundred meters due west of the gate. Relay the coordinates to Jumper Six." John instructed. Why hadn't he thought of that before? He could have had Polansky or Ruiz take it out. This whole thing with Michael, his superbugs and his evil plan to extinguish all life from this galaxy was really messing with his concentration. Taking out the dart should have been his first order. That was basic 'Warfare 101: Disable the Enemy'.

"Okay, coordinates relayed." Rodney advised John.

John opened a radio frequency to Capt. Polansky and advised Jumper Six of its new directive. "Jumper Six you should have coordinates for the dart. Take it out. And high tail it back to the Daedalus. You have less than eight minutes before this planet is dust."

"Copy that Sir. We're on our way." Answered Captain Polansky.

The jumper's radio crackled, _"bugs closing in Sir. ETA two minutes."_ Reported Lt. Ruiz from Jumper Three.

"Understood. Jumper Three head back to the Daedalus. Jumpers Two and Six are right behind you." John replied getting into the pilots chair and getting Jumper Two back into the air on a heading for the Daedalus.

"_Incoming dart! Four o'clock."_ Captain Polansky exclaimed coming up behind Jumper Two's location. By the time Jumper Six got to the coordinates that Dr. McKay had relayed the dart was already in the air and their attempt to down it was unsuccessful. So Captain Polansky took up an attack position behind the dart and followed it. It was heading right for Jumper Two.

"Engage. Jumper Six engage. You have two minutes. If no kill then break off and head for the hanger. Do you understand?" The Colonel exclaimed.

"Understood Sir." Captain Polansky replied from Jumper Six.

"The bomb has already been beamed into the core." John advised his two team mates as he was leaving the bugs behind. He was heading for the Daedalus when the jumper took its first hit from the dart jolting the tiny ship off its course.

"_What do you think you have accomplished Sheppard?"_ Came a voice over the radio.

"Oh a lot actually. Stopped you didn't I?" Sheppard replied. The cloak would not re-engage so he tried for the shield. It wasn't working either. _'Damn…lucky shot.'_ John thought to himself.

"_It is merely a slight set back. I have learned a lot from you and the other Lanteans_."

"Rodney, the cloak and shield are not responding. Fix the shield." John ordered. He thought weapons and sluggishly they opened. It had been a while since his last dog fight but once a fighter pilot always a fighter pilot. The weapons controls responded meagerly at best to his commands.

"This ends now, Michael." Sheppard hissed. John fired a drone but missed and so had Jumper Six.

Both jumpers kept on course heading for deep space and the Daedalus with the dart sandwiched in-between them. Both pilots trying to bring Michael down before the planet below them exploded. The targeting system on the drone must have been affected when the dart's plasma blast struck them. Michael made another attempt to shoot, only to miss. The Colonel put the jumper into a dive to avoid being hit a third time and the shot went over the small ship.

"You'll have to do better than that." John pulled out of the dive and set course back towards the Daedalus evading the dart the best he could.

"_Your ship is crippled. It will only take one more hit and I will have won."_ Michael said menacingly over the radio. _"I will not let what you did to me go unpunished. I seek my revenge on you and that of Atlantis."_

"Sorry to disappoint you Michael, but Atlantis was destroyed a few years back by your cousins. You know, you really should keep up to date on what goes on in this galaxy. Wouldn't want you to look bad in front of your Queen."

Jumper Six with Captain Polansky at the controls, a veteran pilot himself, was close on his CO's six trying to take some of the heat. Jumper Six still had full cloak and shield capabilities. Polansky was no longer in 'pursuit and kill' mode, but now rather in 'guard' mode for his CO was in the other ship which had been hit twice.

The Colonel really wanted to end this with Michael. To finish this vendetta once and for all, but he had less than three minutes to get away from the planet before the nuke detonated.

"_I am fully aware of the status of Atlantis and those who reside upon it. Do not treat me as a mooncalf."_

"So you say. Don't suppose you'd tell me how you came to that conclusion."

John felt partly, well maybe more than partly responsible for Michael's altered existence. He played an integral part. He had captured the wraith. Authorized the testing along with Dr. Weir and stood by holding the half wraith half man down each time Beckett came to give him another injection. An entity no longer wanted by humans and no longer wanted by the Wraith, but Sheppard was only trying to find a way for his people to survive in this galaxy peacefully. It had been a bad idea all around in hindsight. The Wraith had been a formidable foe, enough so that the Ancients fled to Earth to escape their wrath millennia ago. Sheppard could only hope that the blast wave would take out the dart and Michael with it. And if Rodney didn't get the shield up in time, it might even take them too.

"_It does not matter. What matters is that I am going to destroy you."_ Michael said with conviction.

Rodney's fingers flew over the console in front of him as well as on his laptop. When the read out for the cloak and shield appeared he knew there was no hope to get either system back up. Without informing the Colonel of the situation he went back to his laptop and continued to work on the current program he had running, hoping they didn't blow up before the planet did.

"Go ahead and try. I'm expendable. When I'm gone there will be another to take my place. Admit it Michael, you've lost. You have no way of getting your bug army off that planet. I took away your means. I won this round. I out-smarted you." Sheppard shouted into the radio. His blood was boiling under his skin in a rage of undiluted fury. He continued to pilot the ship towards the Daedalus avoiding Michael's numerous attempts to the contrary.

Jumper Three had landed safely aboard the big ship. The Daedalus was waiting for them, only seconds remained. They were out of time. It seemed the dart was only interested in Jumper Two. The dart took another shot at the damaged fleeing jumper. Jumper Six didn't have time to maneuver into position to take the hit themselves. Sparks flew out from the console of Jumper Two and the smell of burnt crystals filled the small space.

"Jumper Six break off." The Colonel ordered as smoke filled the cockpit. No way was he going to be responsible for more deaths. He already racked up more than his fair share over his military career. He just regretted that Rodney and Ronon were going to pay the ultimate price. Two more names added to his already long list.

Jumper Six broke off and landed in the hanger bay just seconds before the planet exploded.

A bright flash filled the dark void around them which could only mean one thing, the Mark IX had detonated within the planets core and the planet had been destroyed taking the army of superbugs with it. John concentrated on keeping the smoke filled ship on course.

"_Noooo!"_ Was the last shout heard in the jumper.

McKay gave a yell. "Ten seconds to impact!" Hitting a few more key strokes on his laptop.

"Daedalus beam out McKay and Ronon. Then get the hell out of here. I'll lead Michael away. Do it! Now!"

A flash of light lit up the cockpit as both his friends shouted their disapproval. John closed his eyes. At least he had the satisfaction of saving their lives, of taking out the giant bugs and ridding the galaxy of the threat of extinction on some small scale. It was finally over between him and Michael and John figured he had won. Even in death.

Another bright flash of light engulfed the cockpit. When Sheppard opened his eyes he saw that McKay and Dex were standing on the bridge of the Daedalus. Safe. Caldwell was issuing orders in the background for hyperspace as the blast wave engulfed the big ship.

A split second later the Daedalus entered hyper-space and John collapsed onto the floor.

TBC

13/14

18


	14. Chapter 14

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** I am NOT in the medical, military or science professions so what you read is just 'winging it'. Hope it sounds plausible. Also in my stories there will always be Dr. Weir and Dr. Beckett.

This is the fourth story I've written dealing with Colonel Sheppard's disability. Preceding order: Three for the Price of Two, Conquering Adversities, Unexpected Surprises.

The story was beta read and any remaining errors are my own. Enjoy.

Life Altering

By Kwillads

Chapter 14

Rodney acted as quickly as did Ronon both kneeling down beside their CO. Rodney reached out a trembling hand to check for a pulse.

Caldwell was summoning a medical team. "Is he alive?" Asked Caldwell stepping closer to the fallen pilot sprawled out on the deck. He wasn't sure if the planet's radiation wave had caused the collapse or if it was the implant being erased by the EM wave that had engulfed the ship prior to jumping into hyper space. He knew he was cutting the beam out close but Hermiod could not get a solid lock on their subdural transmitters. Sheppard had the jumper in one evasive maneuver after another. Then all of a sudden it quit. Caldwell didn't want to think that the Colonel had given up. The younger Colonel was too tenacious and didn't know how to give up. He was a fighter to the bitter end.

"I have a pulse." Rodney replied.

The medical team pushed Rodney and Ronon out of the way as they saw to the Colonel. A med team member was taking his vitals and relaying the information to the Doctor kneeling beside him. When the ships Doctor deemed the Colonel could be moved, Ronon helped them lift the unconscious pilot onto the stretcher and headed for sickbay. Ronon took one end, snarling at the white coated tech. Rodney followed close behind.

Colonel Sheppard was moved onto one of the beds in sickbay. The Doctor checked him over and called out for this test or that sample. Rodney and Ronon were shoved out into the hall through a door which had only a small round portal to see through. The small door was essentially slammed in their faces leaving them to wait in the hall.

Ronon paced the hall outside the sickbay door. Rodney sat limp on the floor, back against the hard metal bulkhead. Colonel Lorne approached quietly. "Any word?"

Evan was beating himself up for letting the Colonel go down to the planet. He should have ordered the Colonel to leave. He should have insisted that Ronon stun him if he didn't comply. The Colonel had made a deal and Evan didn't follow through. It was his fault his CO was now laying in sickbay.

Rodney just sat limp on the floor. Watching Sheppard collapse like that reminded Rodney of the Russian Marionette Ballet he had seen during his exile in Siberia. The wooden dolls danced across the stage and acted out their part in the play. Rodney was really taken by the beauty of it all. Oh Siberia was cold and harsher during the winter months but it still had its beauty. He managed to get backstage after the performance and the Russian director, Shvernik, allowed him to handle one of the marionettes. It was hard. Rodney had a technical gift for art in his piano playing but his stronger gift was in the sciences. Even with his vast knowledge of arc's and angles he could not make that puppet doll dance. Seeing Sheppard lay in a tangled heap at Rodney's feet flooded his memories as what the marionette had looked like when he laid it down.

Rodney's thoughts were a jumbled mess. Jumping him back and forth through time. One minute he was at the bottom of the ocean trapped in a jumper, next he was in Siberia, the one after that he was on Doranda. His mind followed those thoughts by taking him to the SGC where Teal'c was trapped in the gate buffer to his newest jumper experience he just barely managed to live through. He was feeling guilty that he hadn't come up with a better plan to exterminate those damn bugs. Guilt over not being able to shield the implant from such hazards. Guilt was eating him up at the thought of his best friend never walking again after he had worked and pushed himself so hard these past nine months just to have it all taken away from him in a split second. Oh sure, the Colonel would agree that giving up walking was a fair trade for wiping out the superbugs or obtaining three fully charged ZedPM's. But Rodney knew better.

Ronon growled a "no" in response, slamming a fist into the opposite bulkhead as he passed sickbay. He too felt guilty for not keeping his friend safe.

Rodney looked up at the Satedan and wondered if he too had his life events pass through his mind. Maybe some day Rodney would ask him. But not today.

Lorne watched the two men carefully. It was odd seeing their roles reversed. Ronon was usually the quiet one standing off in a corner, while McKay paced and talked, talked and paced. The three men stayed in the corridor, minutes passing slowly one by one.

When the door opened Rodney jumped to his feet. "Is he alright?" Rodney asked quickly.

"He's stable. We have the Colonel comfortable for now. If you'd like to see him…"

"I want to see him." Snarled Ronon.

"Of course, follow me." Doctor Reinhardt turned around leading the three men into the small sickbay to see Colonel Sheppard.

Ronon pushed passed McKay and Lorne and followed the Doctor to Sheppard. Rodney and Evan followed the Runner. John was still unconscious; an IV in his left hand and the heart monitor beeped out in perfect rhythm. Ronon sat down heavily into the chair next to the bed, arms crossed and his long legs rested on the bed frame. His posture dared anyone to ask him to leave.

"Right. I'll just leave you alone for a few minutes while I make my report to the Captain."

Rodney and Evan moved to the other side of the bed not heeding what the Doctor was saying and looked at Sheppard. Evan pulled a chair over for Rodney to sit in. "If you need me or there is any change, I'll be on the bridge." Lorne whispered.

oOo

"Colonel Caldwell, before we head back to Atlantis, we need to check the Re'sal home world. Make sure their shield held. Render assistance if they need. We also need to verify the status of the planets and the stability of the solar system. Colonel Sheppard would insist if he were here, Sir." Lorne requested of his superior. After Lt. Col. Lorne armed the nuke he had time to be briefed on what the Daedalus had found on the remaining five planets and was aware of the repaired shield on the Re'sal home world.

"Yes, he would. We should be coming up to the Re'sal home world in about thirty-five minutes. According to Hermiod the telemetry he obtained indicated that the blast wave would not have reached this far before dissipating. Radiation yield was kept to a minimum." Caldwell explained.

Lorne nodded and turned to lookout the forward view portal and waited.

The Re'sal home world was safe. The shield was active, and as Hermiod projected, the blast wave hadn't reached this far out. The Daedalus surveyed the other four planets on their way back to P6R-114 or what was left of 114. The orange fire ball planet was still there. So was the toxic atmosphere planet. The planet that had the cow like animals was gone. A debris field of asteroids was all that remained. The blue marble planet that looked like Earth was also gone.

P6R-114 was just like the last two. A debris field of asteroids. The Daedalus scanned the area for any ships and life signs. If Michael survived the blast wave from the planet he had a long way to go to find help. The Re'sal home world would be at least a two month journey for a dart.

Caldwell ordered the ship into hyperspace on course for Atlantis. They would reach Atlantis in just over three hours.

oOo

The first thing Colonel Sheppard was aware of was the constant, steady beeping to his right. He could smell disinfectant so he assumed he was in the infirmary. He tried to open his eyes but they refused. His head lolled to the right which sent a shooting pain through his head causing him to moan. The headache was like no other. He tried to open his eyes again and this time he managed a small slit. The overhead lights were bright and added to his headache. He thought the lights to low, but they didn't respond.

When Rodney heard the Colonel moan, he summoned the Doctor. Rodney stood quietly as the Doctor tried to wake the Colonel to get a response. Ronon had moved out of the way and now stood beside McKay on the other side of the bed.

"Colonel Sheppard can you hear me? If you can you need to open your eyes." Stated the Doctor.

"Hrrtss." Mumbled the Colonel.

The Doctor reached over and turned down the lights. "The lights are low now Colonel, you can open your eyes now."

John opened his eyes like the voice had asked, finding the lights had indeed been lowered. He blinked a few times. Shapes were blurry. From what he could tell, this was not the infirmary in Atlantis. A sharp white light pierced his left eye and he clamped down hard and groaned. He did not want that to happen again. His right eye was forced open and the light flickered past sending another bolt of pain into his head to fuel his headache.

"Sttooop…head hrrtss." He slurred.

"Sorry Colonel but it had to be done. I'll get you something for your headache."

"…'kay." John said closing his eyes and willing the pain to subside.

"Colonel?" Asked Rodney somewhat hesitantly.

John heard the familiar voice and tried to respond as best he could. He let his head fall to his right stifling a groan that the movement was sure to cause before opening his eyes only a little. He could make out two blurry figures. "Rod…ney?" He croaked.

"Yeah, it's me. Ronon's here too." McKay said.

"Thought…we were…dead. Why are…weeee…not dead?" The Colonel managed to get out in his weakened state.

"The Daedalus beamed us out just in time." Rodney explained.

John opened his eyes a bit more, taking in his surroundings. "Where am I?"

"You're in the Daedalus's sickbay. We're on our way back to Atlantis. We'll be home in a few hours." Rodney told him.

"Home…" John smiled at the thought. "Bugs…what about the bugs? God I hate bugs." He exclaimed.

"I don't know Colonel. Ronon and I have been here with you ever since you collapsed on the bridge." Rodney stated.

A new voice now on his left joined in. John shifted his head and turned to his left. "Nice to see you awake Sir." Lorne said giving a short pause. "The bugs never made it off the planet. They were destroyed. I'm not sure about Michael. We scanned the debris field but found no ship wreckage. There were no other ships on long range sensors either. The blast wave took out the first two planets that were close. The remaining three are still there. We checked on the Re'sal home world and they're fine. The shield was working perfectly." Lorne reported.

"Good…to know." The Colonel mumbled before falling back into unconsciousness.

While Lorne was giving his report, the Doctor had returned and injected medicine into his IV line to help with his headache.

"Colonel, what about radiation from the explosion?" McKay asked Lorne.

"Caldwell said that the radiation yield was kept to a minimum, whatever that means McKay. I'm no scientist. But if I had to judge by how he said it, I would say it was a good thing." Lorne advised him. "We'll be back in Atlantis soon. Do we know if he can…?"

"No...no we don't. He really wasn't coherent enough to ask." McKay stated.

oOo

"_Atlantis base this is the Daedalus. Be advised we are beaming Colonel Sheppard and party directly to the infirmary." _Caldwell informed as he was bringing the ship into the atmosphere and heading for the east pier to land.

"Dr. Beckett and his team are waiting for him Colonel." Elizabeth replied. "I'll meet you there."

"_Understood."_ Caldwell stated.

Elizabeth left the control room walking in a much faster gait than normal. She had just arrived at the infirmary doors when the bright flash of the beaming technology materialized Colonel Sheppard, Rodney, Ronon and Lt. Col. Lorne. Dr. Beckett and his staff rushed over to the Colonel and began accessing his condition. The three men were pushed aside as the gurney with the Colonel was whisked out of their sight.

Teyla had been waiting impatiently along with the Doctors and nurses for the Colonel to beam in. She wanted to see for herself that he was alright. Preliminary reports coming from the Daedalus during transit would only say he was 'stable', but when the bright light faded, the Doctors and medical staff had rushed to his side and she could not catch a glimpse. She moved to her team mates and nodded as Elizabeth approached.

Dr. Weir walked up to the three men who had not yet said a word. Softly she spoke, "why don't we all sit down and you can fill us in on what happened. You know Carson will take good care of John and will tell us how he is as soon as he can." Placing a hand on Rodney and Ronon's shoulder they turned around to look at her. Teyla and the three men blindly followed Elizabeth to the waiting area.

"Oh God…I did this to him." Rodney muttered, sitting with his hands folded in his lap, head hanging down gazing at the swirl pattern in the marble flooring. It was a pattern he had never noticed before even though he had been a regular visitor to the waiting room over the years.

"Funny…I was thinking the same thing." Col. Lorne whispered. "I should have ordered him to stay on the Daedalus. I _did_ order him. He made a damn deal and didn't stick to it. Ronon I should have had you stun him." Evan got up from his chair and paced the small waiting area clinching and un-clinching his fits for what he felt his stupidity had caused. He wanted to hit something but thought better of it. Yes, even he could learn from past experiences.

Teyla placed a comforting hand on Rodney's shoulder where she sat next to him. "Rodney, Evan, don't go blaming yourselves. We don't know anything yet. Give Carson some time to check things out." Elizabeth said acknowledging how the two men felt. She was sure they all felt the same way, but there was no blame to be placed. She was sure of it. She knew John would not blame Rodney or Evan or any of the others. He would accept blame himself instead.

The five sat quietly in the waiting room awaiting news. It had been an hour since the Daedalus had gotten back. Col. Caldwell came as soon as ships business allowed. He and Elizabeth spoke in the hall.

"Dr. Weir, how's Colonel Sheppard?" Asked the rather concerned Daedalus Commander.

"No news yet. Carson's still with him. What about Michael?"

"Well that's what I wanted to talk to you about in private. Hermiod did some scans before we jumped into hyperspace and determined that a second hyperspace window opened up just prior to our jump." Steven advised her cautiously.

"Wraith darts don't have hyperspace capability. Then again they weren't to have cloaking capabilities either. Could there have been a hive ship coming to pick Michael up?"

"We picked up no Wraith ships in the area at all. Not on long or short range sensors. There definitely wasn't one on the planet either. Hermiod is still going over the data. We didn't find any signs of wreckage, but neither did we find signs of the jumper that was caught in the blast wave. Seems the blast vaporized it, which could have happened to the dart as well. We just don't know. I thought you would want to know about the hyperspace window, however. I have ships business to oversee, and a report to get written. I need to get back. Please contact me with the status of Colonel Sheppard."

"Of course, Steven, and thank you." Elizabeth stayed in the hall a few minutes longer. She felt the need to compose herself before going back into the waiting room. The news of Michael possibly escaping the blast and still being out there to start his plan all over again made her shiver.

The Daedalus commander walked briskly down the hall, heading back to his ship. There were supplies to unload and reports to be written. When Colonel Sheppard asked for the Daedalus's help, the big ship had barely arrived. There had not been time to start unloading before the ship took off for Michael's staging planet.

Lost in their own thoughts, none of them saw the approaching Doctors. When the door whooshed open it startled everyone. Rodney jumped to his feet and rushed Carson, "how is he? Can he still walk?" Quickly asking the questions that had been repeatably asked over and over in his mind.

"He's stable." Carson said to begin with.

Rodney had heard enough of 'stable' from the Doctor on board the Daedalus. Rodney had asked about the Colonel's condition at least every hour on their journey towards Atlantis and all that voodoo practitioner would say was 'he's stable'. Rodney had had enough of 'stable'. "We know that Carson! That quack of a Doctor they got on board the Daedalus told us that several times. How. Is. He? And more precisely, can he still walk?" Rodney punctuated his words carefully to get his meaning across.

"I was getting to that Rodney. So far the Colonel is still unconscious. His vitals are strong and normal. I ran an electroencephalogram, or EEG test to detect abnormalities in the electrical activity of the brain. The test came back normal. Dr. Reinhardt reported the Colonel was suffering from a headache when he came to the first time. We'll have to wait until he wakes up. Right now the best thing for him is sleep. I know that's hard to take and I wish I had more answers instead of questions." Carson trailed off.

"We know Carson. You're doing your best. Can we see him?" Elizabeth asked for the whole group.

"I knew you'd be a asking, so we settled him first. Follow me." Carson led the tired group to the curtained off area. Carl followed behind at the end.

There was the steady beep of the heart monitor and an IV dripping silently. Sleeping soundly, John lay still in the bed. His breathing was even; his color was a bit flushed in comparison to the stark white sheets that surrounded him.

Elizabeth and Teyla moved up to the head of the bed on either side while the guys hung back at the end of the bed. Rodney eyed the chair on the right and moved to claim it. He had made his mind up. He wasn't going anywhere until the Colonel woke up. Ronon had a similar sense, only his was of protection. He pulled the chair away from the adjacent bed and sat down. Teyla, for now, claimed the stool, continuing to hold the Colonel's hand in comfort.

Elizabeth wanted to stay, but she was called back to duty. Col. Lorne left a few minutes later. He had duties to perform as well. Lorne relieved Major Jacobs and assumed command until his CO could take over. He released the extra guards in the gate room, recalled all spotters from the piers, and balconies, as well as the extra patrols in the hallways. He ordered a detail to deal with the supplies being off-loaded from the Daedalus and found himself sitting behind his desk. It had been a rough thirty-six hours and he had a mission report to write and get filed.

John's awareness brought him comfort and warmth. Someone was holding his hand and it felt nice. The headache that had plagued him was now a dull ache in the back of his head. He heard the subtle beep of the monitor and the smell of disinfectant. All that was missing was the clicking noise of a laptop. He gently opened his eyes just a little, mostly looking through his lashes at his surroundings. The overhead lighting was bright so he thought them lower and the lights responded to his mental request. He knew he was back on Atlantis. The last time he tried that he had been unsuccessful.

The hand that held his and offered warmth stilled from the gentle stroking when the lights lowered. "John?" Teyla asked. She couldn't see his eyes, but he was the only one who could do such things here on Atlantis.

Ronon and Rodney heard their team mate talk. It brought them out of their chairs and to the side of the bed. The three had sat in silence with only the beep of the monitor to keep them company. Even Rodney sat quiet, no clicking, and no tapping on his computer keys.

"Sheppard?" Rodney croaked, not realizing his throat was so dry.

"I do believe John is awake. He dimmed the lights." Teyla looked down at him. "Is that not so John?"

John's eyes opened halfway. "Yeah." He whispered. "To bright."

"How are you feeling? Do you still have a headache?" Teyla inquired, her concern was always looking out for her team mates and friends.

"Fine. No headache." John quietly said as he worked to open his eyes more. John was trying to make himself more comfortable by sitting up. Teyla realized his struggle and raised the head of the bed up for him. "Thanks."

"Rodney, are you disturbing my patient again?" Asked Carson as he pushed back the curtain and came through with Carl.

"Hey Docs!" Colonel Sheppard greeted them as he became more alert. He still felt weak and tired. His limbs heavy.

"Why do you always suspect that it's me? It could be Teyla or Ronon for all you know."

"Enough with your nonsense Rodney it's always you. How are ya feeling Colonel?" Carson turned his attention to his patient and asked.

"Just fine now. Although I could really eat something."

"I'll get ya some food right after I check you over. Alright you three out, visiting hours are over. I need to examine the Colonel and I don't need you three standing over my shoulder. I'm sure the Colonel would like a little privacy." Carson barked.

"It's okay Doc they can stay. I just need some food." John said once more. John was getting strange looks from his team mates as well as the two doctors. He wasn't exactly sure what the looks meant. Worry, hesitation, sorrowful, pity maybe. It was really beginning to weird him out looking at his friends. Then it finally hit him why. "Oh no…really guys I'm okay. I just…well it's kind of…embarrassing. Look here's the thing…I haven't…oh crap…I passed out that's all." John washed a hand across his face and finally managed to work the dreaded words out of his mouth. "I'm just hungry."

"You passed out?" Rodney asked. "You…passed…out?" Rodney stated again as his voice raised an octave higher.

John just nodded. He was embarrassed by the whole situation. The fact not any easier to deal with without McKay repeating it every five seconds.

"Do you have any idea what you put me…us…through? You've been unconscious for over twelve hours. We've sat with you the whole time. Have you any idea what kind of thoughts we were thinking? What kind of thoughts I was thinking? How inconsiderate of you to 'pass out'! I can't believe this…" Rodney's rant was just getting into full force when Carson cut him off.

"Enough with ya! Leave the poor man alone. He's barely awake and doesn't need your babbling right now." Carson stated.

"But…he…"

"No buts Rodney."

"Guys I'm sorry. I hadn't eaten in almost twenty-four hours…you of all people should know McKay what happens when you don't eat. I guess the adrenalin rush kept me going. When we were beamed out of the jumper and I opened my eyes to see that we were still alive and back on board the Daedalus I was relieved. So much so I guess everything just caught up with me then and…and…I passed out. Honest I didn't mean to scare you guys. I've been on a regular schedule for over two and a half years…you know what happens when I don't eat. Look I can still walk." John tried to toss the covers back to get out of bed but Carson and Carl put a stop to that right away. Not that John was doing such a good job, he was weak and hungry. So to prove his point he moved his toes, then his feet. He bent his legs at the knees to show them all that everything was working. "See."

"Enough lad. Let's get ya some food."

oOo

"So I only took out half of a solar system, as compared to you tak…"

"Stop…don't finish that thought. You're never going to let me forget that, are you?" McKay shouted. Taking out five-sixths of a solar system had been the worst day of his entire life and he had tried to put that in the past.

"Ah come on McKay, at least you're not alone in the 'Solar System Exterminators R Us' club any more. You have me as a member now." John smugly told him. John sat upright in his infirmary bed with a tray of food that he had almost completely consumed. Rodney had taken his jell-o while the two of them talked.

Ronon and Teyla sat off to one side listening to the conversation as to what had happened over the last few days allowing Teyla to be filled in on what had taken place on 114 and on the Daedalus. Rodney finally got his answer to his 'cows' question which launched John into trying to explain to the Pegasus natives what an Earth cow was.

"And for your information Colonel, I liked being in that club alone. Ha!"

John turned the conversation a bit to the somber side. All joking aside it had been one hell of a mission. "Didn't we get hit by that blast wave when we were in the jumper? I remember you yelled 'ten seconds to impact', and I felt the wave push against the jumper just before we beamed out. Not that I'm not grateful or anything, but how is it that I can still feel and move my legs?"

His team mates took notice of this change in attitude. Teyla was first to offer a plausible explanation. "Perhaps you were beamed out prior to the energy wave reaching you. The wave had not reached the Daedalus from what I understand. It would be a good thing, it is not?"

"Yeah of course, but I was so sure…" John began saying.

"We were." Rodney deadpanned.

John looked at him with a quizzical expression the facts staring him in the face. The jumper had been hit with the wave. The shield was inoperable. The shield was the only thing protecting him inside the puddle jumper. Why was he still able to walk?

"Rodney." John spoke sternly. That one word spoke volumes and McKay knew he had better start filling in the pages.

Rodney fidgeted in his chair. "The shield was down. There was no way I could fix it in time before the concussive force of the shock wave hit us so instead I worked to get the shield for the Replicator Block implant working. Just before the shock hit the jumper I executed the program." He didn't know if he managed to get his program initiated in time or not before the blast wave struck the jumper.

Now John looked even more confused if that were possible. In those last few moments before they were all about to die or possibly that he would end up not walking again, Rodney had managed to initiate a force field to protect his implant. The same force field that he had been working on for nine…no…almost ten months.

In as calm a voice as he could muster up he asked, "How?"

Rodney was hoping that the Colonel wouldn't ask 'how' just take it for granted that he had finally managed to get the program to work and move on with gratitude for his genius mind and his tenacity to not give up. Rodney spared a quick glance at the Colonel before looking back at his hands hovering over the laptop that rested on his lap. "While I was on the Daedalus I went to engineering and learned about their new cloak. It gave me a different perspective and with Novak and Hermiod's assistance I was well on my way to solving the problem. See I was trying to use basic shield technology to shield your nanite implant. That's why I kept coming up short and it never worked. After talking to Novak and Hermiod about their cloak design, which I discovered was based on wraith technology I might add. You know…from the downed dart a few years back. You sent the cloaking mechanism back to Earth. Well it took them, at Area 51, over two years to make it functional. As seen with our own eyes with the Daedalus not showing up on the jumpers sensors. Once I changed my approach from using Earth based shield technology to Wraith based cloaking technology I was able to write the program. And it works! You don't actually have a shield per se protecting the implant. It's a cloak. I cloaked your implant. I really wasn't getting anywhere with the shield idea but after seeing the cloak used on the Daedalus it really did give me a whole new perspective of looking at the situation. I mean our jumper sweeps didn't pick up the Daedalus in orbit. It was like it wasn't there. I did the same thing to your implant. It's like the implant is not even inside you. And since it's cloaked it technically is not there so any EM wave or ARG discharge has no effect on it. All I needed was time. And as always you never give me enough time. Solutions don't always happen in under five seconds like you think they do. You are the most inconsiderate human being I have ever met. Would it kill you if you just gave me a few minutes of peace and quiet with no threat of bodily harm…?"

John cut off McKay's rant. "Rodney…how?"

'_Weren't you listening? Why do I even try to explain things to you if you don't listen to me when I talk?'_ Rodney thought. Rodney quietly and as fast as he could mumbled his explanation. "Ihackedyourpasswordagain."

"You did what!" John shouted.

"Ihackedyourpassword."

Now it was John who was in full rant mode. "McKay…I changed my password and you promised that you wouldn't do that again!" John started to count to ten again. How it was that Rodney made him do this so often?

"Hey! You're doing that _thing_ again. I know…I'm sorry…but under the circumstances I didn't think you'd mind."

Ronon and Teyla sat in silence watching the exchange between their two team mates. Neither one could help but smile as the two went at each other over such trivial nonsense. Colonel Sheppard should have been thankful that Dr. McKay managed to finally protect the implant which saved his new walking life. Teyla turned to Ronon and he gave her a shrug of his shoulders. Each one knew that Earth people argued over just about everything. The two Pegasus natives turned their attention back to their team mates with even bigger smiles.

"McKay…Rodney…don't get me wrong buddy, I do appreciate what you did. Really I do. You have to understand that having this Replicator Block inside me…no matter how much reassurance you give me…freaks me out. Now you tell me the cloak is of Wraith design. That too freaks me out. It was you that offered me a password for protection and peace of mind. How can I feel safe if everytime something happens you hack my password and upload new information...usually without my knowledge." John rested his head back on his pillows and started counting again, this time backwards from ten.

Rodney didn't have an answer for him, not that John was really expecting one. He did what he had to do to save his friend. And he would do it again if the circumstances called for it without hesitation or concern for himself. He would make sure his friend stayed walking.

"You're doing that again." Rodney stated.

"Doing what?"

"That thing you do in the back of your throat when you get mad. What are you doing? It sounds like a foreign language to me. How many languages do you speak? I think I heard at least three maybe four."

"I don't know what you're talking about McKay."

"Sure you do. Now how many?" Rodney asked again not giving up on this subject. "You do know that I can hack any computer. Hack any file. It would be easier if you just answered the question."

"Who won the betting pool?" Sheppard responded instead. No way was he going to admit to Rodney he spoke and understood several languages. _'Good luck in trying to find out too.'_ His language skills he made sure never made it to his file. _'Hack away all you want'._ As if the light just turned on overhead John got the brilliant idea for what to use for his new security code.

oOo

Colonel Sheppard was released from the infirmary two days later. Carson wanted to make sure that everything was back to normal as it should be. John tried to escape but was caught by Carl coming out of the transporter that John intended to enter. On his second day of mandatory rest in his quarters the big screen TV and player found its way to his suite. John called on his team to come help him uncrate it and set it up. John allowed Teyla the opportunity to rearrange the furniture for the best possible viewing. John just stayed back out of the way and watched. This time Teyla had Carl and Evan moving the furniture pieces this way and that until she was satisfied. Rodney and Ronon had somehow managed to escape this time. She even had Evan and Carl go to one of the adjacent suites to bring in a second couch. Once Teyla was satisfied that everyone would have an unobstructed view of the large screen and the second couch was manipulated into its proper place they settled down to watch a video.

The Colonel worked on his AAR while being cooped up in his room for two days. Having finally completed his mission report he delivered it at 07:00 hours the following morning when he walked into Dr. Weir's office with three cups of coffee. The Daedalus had off loaded their supplies and Atlantis was once again in coffee nirvana. Caldwell had given his crew the past two days as down time. While sipping coffee they talked about Michael's possible escape. Hermiod had gone over the data he had collected on the second hyperspace window and the three concluded that most likely Michael was still out there. They talked about the cloaking device that had been installed on the Daedalus and how it remained off the jumper's sensors. John explained how he had Rodney download all the gate addresses from the DHD on 114. The Colonel wanted to investigate each planet for any evidence of Michael's research and Michael. If Michael was still out there he most likely would go back to one of his labs to start again. John wanted to be sure he knew where all his labs were and take all action against them being used again. John also wanted that research destroyed once and for all. If Michael did escape he could and would start to rebuild another army. Col. Caldwell and Elizabeth agreed that was a sound idea. Col. Caldwell offered to take a few of the planets from the list and he and his crew on board the Daedalus would investigate before heading back to Earth. Elizabeth informed them that she had contacted all their allies and advised them of the outcome as well as what they thought Michael's plan had been: destroying planet after planet by using up all the natural resources. Some were upset that three planets were lost, but most were grateful that they didn't need to worry about the superbugs coming to their world. At least for the foreseeable future.

A week later the Daedalus headed back to Earth. The Daedalus had investigated six planets from McKay's list and had found nothing more than empty egg sacks or devastated earth. Their search of labs or ruins were met with destruction. Leaving rubble in their wake. The search teams from Atlantis had checked over a dozen planets with the same results. They still had over ninety planets left on the list to investigate. As the big ship departed with good news; not only about their cloaking capabilities but of the destruction of thousands of superbugs Col. Caldwell advised Sheppard not to worry about any fallout for taking out half a solar system. Caldwell was sure he could get their point across. It may have been Sheppard's idea but Col. Caldwell was the one who authorized such deadly force to be taken.

John almost forgot about the Re'sal's and the promise to come back and talk a trade agreement for fixing their shield. Finally getting the mission planned, John took Lorne's team back to the planet for negotiations. Rodney was in a state of sugar high given permission to study their device in hopes that Atlantis could duplicate it and share it with their other allies. John and Magistrate Yerri talked trade while Ronon, Lorne and Teyla visited with the Re'sal people.

Magistrate Yerri wanted to give the Lantean's everything he could think of. He and his people were most grateful for the repair to their shield which held off an attack from the Wraith just days before their arrival to talk trade negotiations.

While sitting in the Magistrate's chamber negotiating a young page brought them drinks. Noibn was a hot liquid made from the noibn nuts that grew on Re'sal. Their planet was the perfect climate to grow these yellowish-brown nuts in abundance. The Magistrate was telling them that at times they had to burn fields. Their people brewed what they could use but had no trading partners who would take the excess off their hands. Teyla and Ronon passed as they had just arrived along with Evan from talking to the Re'sal people. John picked up a cup and gave it a cursory sniff. Liking what he smelled so far he took a tentative sip.

"It's ok Rodney. No citrus." John advised with a smile. He couldn't wait to see McKay's reaction after taking his first sip. Sitting across from him, Evan took a cup. He also smelled it before taking a sample of the hot liquid into his mouth. It was their training in the military that made them cautious. As the flavor awakened his taste buds Evan's eyes popped wide open at the surprise. Doing his best to school his facial expression like his commanding officer he too looked towards McKay.

Rodney picked up a cup after the Colonel said that it didn't contain any citrus and took a swallow. Immediately his eyes closed and Rodney found himself in nirvana. Opening his eyes again he took in the color of the hot liquid, it was a pale yellow which was cause for alarm with Rodney. Anything that was yellow had to be citrus. "Colors all wrong. But if you close your eyes the taste is right. Better in fact. Magistrate Yurpie did you say that you burned fields of these…nuts because you had too many?"

"Yes Doctor McKay I did. And my name is Yerri, Magistrate Yerri."

"Yes…yes. Sorry. Would you excuse me and the Colonel for a few minutes we need to discuss something in private?"

"Of Course. By all means."

Rodney jumped up from his seat and literally hauled the Colonel out of his chair and out into the adjacent hallway. The Colonel didn't even have time to excuse himself. "Do you know what that is?" Asked Rodney.

"I have a pretty good idea." Sheppard said casually leaning up against the wall.

"We have to have these nuts. Whatever they are called. As much as they will give us. Pay whatever price they want. We can't let this discovery go. We can't let it pass; we have to do something to get these nuts back to Atlantis. Do you think they would take another naquadah generator in trade?"

"Slow down Rodney. I'm sure we can negotiate for the Noibn nuts. Magistrate Yerri seems amiable about trading with us. I don't think we need to be trading our generators though."

"Yes…yes of course. But do you know how long we've waited to find a planet that grows coffee beans? Of course you do. What a silly question. I mean sure the color is wrong but the taste is oh so good. Better than that Bridgehead Coffee I love so much. Did you taste it? Did you actually taste it? My God you can't screw this up Sheppard. You have got to get Magistrate Yuppie in there to give us all he can spare. I won't take no for an answer. I'll volunteer to fix anything they got. I have to have those nuts. I…"

"Rodney I get it. Now you stay here. I'll send Ronon and Teyla out to stay with you."

"But my coffee is in there. Why can't I go back in there with you? You might need my help with Mr. Yippi with the negotiations."

"First off…the reason you're staying out here is that you cannot remember the Magistrates name. Secondly, you'd be willing to give up the location of Atlantis just for a bag of those nuts. Right now buddy you're a security risk. Evan and I will handle the trade negotiations. You stay out here. I'll have Teyla bring you your cup. Okay?"

"Fine…fine. But don't screw this up Sheppard. I can make your life miserable…just remember that."

"I will Rodney. I will. Now stay put."

Colonel Sheppard went back into the Magistrates chamber. Gave Teyla and Ronon the job to keep McKay under control in the outer hallway. While he and Evan continued negotiations. In the end, the Lantean's got fresh meat, fruits, nuts and vegetables. The Colonel offered medical knowledge in return as well as technical assistance. John didn't want to take advantage of their kindness. The shield had to be fixed in order to protect them from what he had planned so offering more in trade was the least he could do.

After a brief report from McKay who had been studying the Re'sal's shield device it was determined that more talks were required. If the Lantean's could negotiate for the Re'sal people to manufacture more shield devices they could be spread across the galaxy. Earth would have to provide the naquadah generators for each unit. It would be a start in the right direction until something better came along that would keep the Wraith from culling worlds. And it seemed the Re'sal people were open to discussion.

But best of all, the Lantean team came away with a lifetime trade agreement for Noibn nuts.

oOo

Activities around Atlantis fell back into the norm, or at least as normal as it got living in a ten thousand year old floating city. Two weeks had passed since the mission to P6R-114 and the Colonel kept up with his duties on Atlantis. Scheduling missions and sending teams off to find new allies and training new personnel when time allowed. He finally told Elizabeth that he was not going to change the team assignments. He explained that he reserved the right to go out with Lorne's team on occasion, when the mood struck. But over all, he would stay on Atlantis and deal with the day to day demands of his position as Head of Military. He had told the expedition several months back that he would not get a third chance if anything happened to his implant. His close call with death on 114 helped him make the right decision.

John was sure his decision was the right one this time. There was nothing like a close call with death to give you your wake-up call. John had plenty of time to soul search while he rested in his quarters for two days per Beckett's mandatory request. Carl had seen to it that he didn't work too hard. John watched the setting sun from the balcony off his suite and realized that most military men his age, at least the one's he knew of, never participated in missions. It was left up to the younger guys. Colonel's and General's ran the missions: they planned, they strategize, they used available resources, made contingencies, tracked success and failure, determined the right course of action. In the beginning he never wanted that type of career. He was an adrenaline junkie; higher, faster, get in and get out. He had always thought the people planning the missions had no idea what the 'real' world was like out there for the men and women fighting being tucked safely away from harm with their notepads and pencils. John had to be in the action. At least he thought he had. Now he was not so sure. Long after the Atlantean sun set and the purple sky darkened to midnight blue he had made his decision.

John instructed Col. Lorne to take down all signs and chains blocking the halls as well as reassigning the Station Guards to regular, more fulfilling duties. With his implant cloaked there would be no need to guard generator stations.

Carson thought it was a fantastic idea setting up a rehab facility and as CMO his first directive was to put Dr. Carl Epson in complete and total charge. So Carl and Lorne had scoped out possible rooms for the new rehabilitation center. The perfect room was found just down the hall from the training gym. The parallel bars were disassembled and moved; so was the safety harness that mounted to his wall. The weight machine remained in the training gym although there was plenty of space in the new rehab center. No one wanted to take it apart after all the trouble they went through putting it together in the first place. So the training gym became an exercise facility. Colonel Sheppard even talked Lt. Cadman into relocating her stationary bike for others to use. In the following days several jump ropes appeared, free weights, a thigh master, a large red rubber ball and several other health and fitness gear showed up. Since the new rehab facility had extra room Carl made a list of equipment he would eventually obtain from Earth: sanctioned or not. And what they couldn't get from Earth they would try to make on their own using local resources. Between Lt. Col. Lorne and Colonel Sheppard they procured another room that would be used as their new training facility for sparring and training of military staff.

The Atlantis PX was even a bigger hit. What one person received in a care package from home and didn't much care for ended up on a shelf at the PX for someone else who took interest. It was skeptical at first if it would work but the whole base seemed happy. Two weeks after opening officially they needed more space. Dr. Weir and Colonel Sheppard authorized the engineers to remove a section of wall and open up the space to the room next door. That room was turned into a library. Five shelves contained hard back and paperback book. Three other shelves held magazines. There was no Dewey Decimal System here. The books and magazines where checked out using a PC tablet. Someone even brought in furniture to sit on if they just wanted to read for a while and not actually check out a book. The PX had over fifty volunteers to help operate it and everyday the list grew longer. So they set up two hour shifts and planned a month at a time. Each time the Daedalus would drop in the PX ended up with more items for its shelves. Quartermasters on Earth continued to ship unwanted back-stock to them. The latest foul up was thirty cases of pantyhose. Colonel Sheppard vowed that next time he was on Earth he would have a nice little chat with Quartermaster Supply.

John kept up his PT with Carl and eating right. He didn't want to take any more chances of passing out unexpectedly. Sparring with Ronon and Teyla during his free time and running with Ronon most every morning was a pure joy. The two lifts in his quarters were removed and put into storage in his old room. There were just a few more minor details to get his quarters back to normal. The mirror above the vanity needed to be raised and the exam bed was moved to the new rehab center. John kept the gym mat and the pull-up bar for his own personal PT. Carl found another bar and it was installed in the rehab center in the following days.

John and Carl continued to share the suite as companionable room mates. John still allowed Carl to take his vitals whenever Carl deemed necessary. Team movie nights were the best. His friends…no that was not right, his family gathered in his quarters sharing popcorn and other snacks while watching the latest movie on the big screen TV.

Rose Highland collected on her two I.O.U.'s. No matter how much his team tried to worm out of him what it was he had to do, he remained silent. He was an officer of the United States Military, trained to resist interrogation. McKay had hacked his personnel records trying to discover what languages he spoke but came away empty handed.

The sleek black wheelchair John had used for over two years sat in a place of honor. He had positioned it to the left of his bedroom door so that everyday when he left his quarters he was reminded not to take the day for granted. Live each day to the fullest but do it safely. The special leather gloves lay tossed on the seat. Not a day went by that John didn't take the time to thank those who helped him.

Yes, everything was as it should be on Atlantis in the Pegasus Galaxy today.

The End.

**A/N:** I just want to say a huge **THANK-YOU** to all who read and who commented not just on this story but on my other three as well. Using FanFiction's 'Reader Traffic' option I was amazed at the world wide readership. In no particular order my heartfelt appreciation goes to my readers in the: UK, Germany, Canada, France, Australia, Ireland, Philippines, South Korea, Hungary, Malaysia, China, Austria, Brunei, Sweden, Netherlands, Monaco, Norway, Indonesia, Europe, Finland, South Africa, Belgium, New Zealand, Singapore, Poland, Taiwan, Italy, Denmark, Spain, Bulgaria, Brazil, Guam, Kuwait, Mexico, Romania, Russia, Slovakia and of course the USA. Reading your comments, your assumptions, your suggestions over the last 13 chapters have been amazing and fun and exciting all at the same time. This was the first time I posted a story in chapters and have to tell you that it was difficult. I wanted to give you more of my story with each and every review I received. It was very difficult to refrain.

I am working on a John/Elizabeth story to finally wrap up this arc. It will be more of a Romance story I think, but there will still be some minor Shep-whump. What would a story be without John getting hurt…just a little anyway. Don't know when that story will be ready as I won't even think of publishing it until it is completed. There are too many wonderful stories out there that were WIP's; started and never finished. I just can't see doing that to my readers. It's in the draft and research stage right now. 'New Beginnings' is the title I've chosen for it. I think that says a lot.

Again, Thanks to all. Until next time.

Karen


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